Chapter 26: Fears
The guards took me to the palace, I was hoping to Azula, and not Ozai, who would most likely kill me.
"Go in!" A guard ordered, not taking off the chains, I slowly walked inside a room, the door squeaked.
I took a step in, and immediately noticed Azula, standing there, folded arms, a face of pride.
"What are you doing here?!?" She screeched. I sighed, not knowing what to say.
"Well, huh I-I- I was on my way to buy some fire flakes and I got lost- then some guards got me and well, you know the rest." I smiled, pointing a thumb at the door.
"Save it, Kyo!" Azula quickly snapped, making me jump.
"Why?" She softly whispered, stepping to the window.
Even if the question was out of the blue I knew what she was asking.
"Because... I wanted to see you. To see if you're alright...."
She gave those sharp eyes of hers a glance at me. Making me realize I couldn't never hide.
"Because I love you, Azula."
I didn't speak loud, but she heard it clearly, seeing the reaction set in. Those eyes went from shock to hurt in an instant.
"You do?" She quietly spat.
"Yes, Princess." I tried to smile. Through that hurt, I could see comfort, but what bothered me was what I also saw was madness.
"I..." I walked to her, placing my hand on her shoulder. I immediately received a snap of a look from her.
"Don't touch me!" Azula growled, moving her shoulder and stepping away from the window.
"You left me!" Her eyes were wide, and bright.
"I had to. You gave me a chance." I defended, all I wanted was what was best for her.
"Because you ruined me! You! You did this to me!" Her beautiful voice got louder with every word, holding a fist to her chest.
I said nothing, I didn't know what to say. I knew destroying things was how she was brought up, and me trying to change her meant her whole world changing to. I understood perfectly when I saw soft tears fill her ember eyes.
This was what she had to go through to change.
"Azula..." I began to walk to her, to comfort her, help her.
She only turned away. Giving me her back, as I heard whispering sobs.
"You've made me weak." She managed to say, in a faint voice.
"No- All I want is what's best for you." My hand touched her back, trying not to startle her, or she would leave.
The Princess only lowered her head as she felt the touch. "If you really want what's best for me." Her voice was more clear and strong.
Azula turned to me, looking in my eyes, "leave."
"No." I immediately replied. "I know you're hurting. It's not something to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you weak. Keeping it in and hiding does. Azula-" she cut me off.
"That's where you're wrong, Kyo! You've made me do things I've never planned to do! I've never felt like this before and I hate it!" Once again she stopped looking at me, only the red carpet.
"How do you think I feel. I want to be with you! Everything I've done was for you. But my world would reject me if I told them that I loved you." Azula tightened her fists. My eyes began to water just as bad as her's, I just wanted to be loved for once in my life. A pure and unselfish love.
"Your brother argued with me before I left, he told me that, you're evil and that I should move on. But I've already fallen too far to go back."
Azula said nothing, or did anything, I couldn't even guess what she was thinking. She was a people person, and she probably saw every emotion in me. At least that was that I hoped for.
"Please just let me stay then." I whispered, seeing she wasn't ready to say anything back.
She turned and began to walk out of the room, slowly opening the door, but paused. "You can stay." Her soft whisper echoed in my ears even after she left. There was no turning back, I was as nervous as a little boy, hoping I didn't just ruin things.
—————Mia POV————
"Hey, where's my glider?!!" Aang shouted on the top of his lungs, waking me up.
"Aang, it's early in the morning," I moaned.
"What's wrong, Aang?!" Katara's ran up.
"My glider! It's gone!" Aang's voice showed the horror
"Toph, did you take it?!" He spat out.
"Don't look at me. For once I'm the one who didn't." Toph put her hands up in defense.
"Has anyone noticed that Kyo's' gone to." Zuko growled.
"God, all of you need 'to stop being so doom and the end of the world." I smiled, very awkwardly.
"Kyo probably just went out on a walk, a staff." I finished.
"'A staff!?'" Aang asked walking closer to me. Along with Zuko, and Katara, and Sokka, and Suki. While Toph didn't care. Love Toph.
"What do you mean?" Zuko flatly asked.
"It's early, we all need breakfast." I chuckled, placing my hands on my hips.
"Stop stalling! Did Kyo leave?!"
"...Yesssss." I squinted.
"What?!?" Everyone shrieked.
————Kyo's POV————
"Kyo?" I heard a cute voice quietly call me out. I turned to see Ty Lee peaking her head in.
"Hi, Ty Lee." I replied, sitting up from the bed.
"Are you ok?" She asked, walking in.
"I'm fine. Why you ask?"
"I don't know. Azula can be scary sometimes." Ty Lee responded, seating next to me.
"Yeah I know." I smirked.
"Over dramatic." She added, still whispering.
"What are you afraid of, Kyo?" Ty Lee asked out of the blue. Holding her legs, keeping her face hidden behind her them. Muffing her words.
"Being alone." I quickly replied.
"Me, it's dying. I don't know anything about it, and yet we have to die at one point." Ty Lee whispered.
"What do you think Azula's fear is?"
"Imperfection. It's all I could think of."
"It makes sense." I shrugged.
We suddenly heard a noise in the hallway making Ty Lee turn back to me. "I better go." She whispered.
"Yeah." I agreed. She began to walk to the door, slowly opening it.
"Ty Lee." She faces me with a smile.
"You can talk to me about anything you know?" Her smile suddenly went dull, knowing what I meant. She nodded and quickly left.
I knew she was still going through the same things as in the show, the only difference was that she wasn't in jail right now.
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The next day I hadn't heard from Azula, or seen anyone. So I decided to leave the room.
The hallways were so long and big, but most of all, quiet. After having no luck finding anyone I went back to the room.
As soon as I stepped in I saw Azula sitting on the bed. "There you are." She grinned, standing.
"I was just about to say goodbye, my father and I are going to burn the world today. And I thought maybe you would want to know where I'm off to." Her right hand, moved along my shoulder as she made a circle around me.
"Do you even want to?" I questioned, making her pause.
"Of course I do, it was my idea in the first place." Azula smiled.
"Have you ever thought why?"
"Because that's how we'll win this war." She grinned.
"By killing everyone in the world? Doesn't sound so good to me." I flatly stated.
"Oh what does it matter Kyo?!" She suddenly snapped. "The world always has to be ruled by someone! Why can't it be the Fire Nation?!" She took a few steps back, yelling at me.
"You don't have to blindly follow rules, specially you."
"I don't!" The Princess replied, "what are you implying, Kyo?"
"That you're trying so hard for approval that you do any and all for your father. That since your mother was alienated from you, you feel she didn't care. And a brother wishes you were dead. Your father seems like the only safe bet." I could see an offended look taking over her face. Maybe I was crossing lines? "But it's not just your father anymore, Princess. I'm here. You don't have to follow rules, I know you're not what you make yourself seem."
I could see emotions through her flat face, a battle within herself.
There was never a "Guide to Changing Azula!" Book, I was making this up as I went, but I really didn't know what I was doing. Was I just hurting her?
The Princess clinched her fists and began to walk to the door, I lowered my head, but piping up right back up when she turned to face me.
"I'm going to burn the world to ashes with my father, and prove to you I'm not who you think I am!" Azula hissed, a shine in her eyes, almost tears. As I kept that image in my mind, she slammed the door, making me flinch.
What was I doing?!
———————
Hours later as I had my head stuck in the soft, silky, pillows. Feeling like I could wait out the war just sleeping there. So soft and silky. I heard the door quickly open and slam. Loud.
I popped my head up to see Azula standing there proud.
"Princess." I tried to smile under a dread that something happened.
"Guess who's Fire Lord?"
Ok so nothing happened, almost thought something did.
"You?" I smiled.
She laughed in amusement, "Kyo, you have no idea what I'm going to do." Azula began to walk closer to me, making me stop dead where I stood.
Wait, I thought she was mad at me? Azula is so confusing sometimes. Auhhh.
"And guess what comes along with being Fire Lord?" Her grin became more uneasy as she came closer, till she rapped her arms around my neck.
It was wasn't a grin anymore, she became dead serious.
"What?" I asked, not really liking where this was going.
"A husband."
I swear my heart stopped.
"Azula..." I didn't know what to say to the future one second Fire Lord, how to put what I felt in words.
"This doesn't feel right." Was all I said, holding her arms, not looking the Princess in the eyes.
"Why?" That tone sounded bitter, bitter enough to bite someone's head off. But I had to stand my ground.
"Because.... it's toon soon to get married. Azula have you even thought that through? What your father will think?"
She let go of my arms, turning away again, folding her arms. I started to get impatient with no response.
"I thought you would be happy?!" Azula suggenly turned throwing something, I don't know what at me.
I quickly dodged it, moving to the side. A few seconds later I heard a knife hit the wall far from me.
My eyes immediately went to it, a knife. Is Azula trying to kill me here!!?
"I hate you!" She screeched, charging me, unsuspected so my feet were all wrong, making me fall on the bed.
"You heard me, Kyo?!" So moody, I should stop joking thinking about how dangerous she is.
"I didn't mean it that way!" I yelled back in my defense.
The Princess paused, stopped hitting me with her fists, instead looking me in the eyes.
"I do love you and possibly want to spend the rest of my life with you." The light flaming in her eyes lit with hope. "But not while you're on your father's side. Not while I'm on my friends side. Not while this war is on." That light immediately faded as I spoke. "Not while everyone will tear us down." I still held her small wrists, they began to shake, was I saying the right things?
I didn't know what I was doing!
Azula's face went from hopeful, to broken, to furious within seconds. Hitting my chest and trying to get free from my hands again. "Damn you, Kyo!" She spat.
"Damn you for coming into my life!" She got free, flashing fire in front of me to let go. I did and she immediately stood up.
"Damn you for making me weak and confused!" The Princess's voice was weak and breaking at every word as she turned again.
And just like that she was gone again. I realized that when the door slammed. Was I doing the right thing?! God I needed help! I needed to show her the good in the world.
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As I sat in that prison of a room the door opened to Azula's head servants or whatever they were.
"Kyo," one spoke, "we need your assistance." The other finished.
I got up out of curiosity.
As I walked with them, they explained that Azula was becoming unstable and banishing everyone. And they wanted me to set her straight.
"Why did you decide to get me?" I asked, as we walked.
They didn't answer, only stepped to the curtains first. "Don't get any ideas." They spoke at the same time.
"How do y'all do that?" I asked, referring to them speaking each other's sentences. As they opened the curtains for me to walk through.
They both shrugged at the same time.
"Princess?" I called out, not able to see her through all the blue flame. Making the rest of the room dark and hazy blue.
"What are you doing here?" She sat up, seeming to be laying down.
"They all told me what you d-"
"How dare you! Kneel!" She interrupted me mid sentence.
I looked at the ground, I looked at Azula's mad eyes, there was no way I was kneeling.
"No!" I snarled, fists clenched.
"What did you say?!" She gasped.
"I said no! And this needs to stop, Azula!"
"Stop what? My superiority?" Azula stood up, furious.
"This isn't superiority! I'm not your servant!$ So stop treating me like one! Not too long ago you asked to marry me, but it's like you don't want a partner, you want a slave! I am not your slave, Azula!" I shouted on the top of my lungs, trying to get it across.
Azula was silent, not an emotion in her face.
"I'm not afraid of you. I never was. And I never will be." I finished in a louder tone, my voice breaking from all the screaming. "You rely on it, I know that. But it's not what makes you great. It's your passion, your will. That's what I love you for. But not this." I walked closer, now seeing Azula was showing emotion.
Tears ran across her perfect skin. Making her bite her red lips.
"I should have you locked away where I would never see you again!" The Princess snarled, the Fire that got me mad at her in the first place coming to life again.
"Then why don't you?!" I yelled, my body ready for a fight.
"Get out!" Azula suddenly screeched, throwing her hair comb at me, making me protect myself. "Get out before I throw you out!" Her hair was all in her face, trying not to let me see the tears. I understood the feeling.
I grabbed the comb from the floor and slowly began to walk out.
But seriously, what was up with the throwing?
————————
That night I found myself in one part of Azula's room. It was a huge palace.
"Alright hair, it's time to face your doom!" I heard Azula snarl, grabbing scissors.
"...Azula..." I tried to speak louder, but my voice became low.
She paused, standing in front of the mirror, looking through it at me. I slowly walked closer, gently touching her hair.
"Don't you dare touch me!!" She immediately turned to face me.
"That's not how you do hair, I used to do my sister's. Let me. Please." I whispered, I couldn't say why I couldn't speak normally.
I only looked in Azula's eyes, they showed everything. Through the embers; confusion, hurt, passion, and something that needed to be gone. Madness.
After what seemed to be a life time of reading the Princess's thoughts, she turned back to the mirror— letting me fix her hair.
"You miss her?" Azula asked, staring at me from the wall of a mirror.
"All the time." I answered. The room was dark, red and gold, the rest darkness.
"You're close to her?" She asked, in a voice as soft as a flower.
"She's my sister. There's no one in the world like her." I answered again, making her hair the way she always wears it.
"My brother hates me..." She no longer looked at me, but the floor, I couldn't imagine that feeling.
"No one hates their sibling, you'll learn that one day."
She looked back in my eyes, only to look back down.
"Everyone fears me..."
"I thought it would be a good thing, that I would keep people's loyalty. But I'm lonely. I hate it. I hate feeling this way." I began to hear her voice break, feeling her body tremble, where I stood it felt so fragile. I knew she was far from gentle, but right then I felt like I could change the storm.
"On ember island, I met a boy, he seemed to like me, till I showed my power, then he was afraid like everyone else."
"Mai, and Ty Lee, if they had the chance they'd betray me...?" I could feel her tense her whole body in anger. I knew that feeling. She was alone, afraid of her only friends leaving her.
"You'd hate to admit it but even you fear me..." she finished, trying to fight her breaking voice.
"No. I don't...." I placed my fingers through her silky brown hair, in the light it looked maroon— letting my hands gently fall to her shoulders. "How many times do I have to say it? Get it across your warlike head, make you understand." I looked her in the eyes through the mirror, not letting go of Azula's trembling body.
"I love you, Azula." I slowly whispered, sliding my hands on the side of her arms.
The Princess's eyes began to sparkle, biting her lip, tears soon fell down her soft cheeks. She sobbed, trying to hold everything back.
The scissors in her right hand soon found themselves thrown at the wall as Azula crashed into my arms. Tired of fighting her own emotions.
I tumbled to the ground also, letting the Princess hang onto my red silk robes like her life depended on it. Hearing her sob, her warm body shook. She hid her face in my chest, not wanting me to see.
But there was no face Azula could put on that would scare me away, it seemed I was the only one in the world to understand her pain. Even if we were from different worlds. Even if we were from different sides. I still would always see the truth in the Princess.
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