"Serena, have you left yet?"

I looked up from where I had been lacing my black waterproof boots in the entryway of my mom's familiar home. Christmas wreaths and lights were draped down the hallway and throughout the home and I couldn't help but smile at the gentle scent of pine coming from the tree that Mom picked out even before I made it back for the holidays. I had missed spending the holidays last year with my mom because of a special Christmas Pageant I took part in with the current Kalos Queen and to make up for it Mom had gone all out on the decorations this year.

"Not yet," I called over my shoulder as I finished tying a neat bow at the top of my boots with chunky heels and thick tread to help me keep traction in the snow yet still look stylish.

Mom's head popped around the doorway that led to the kitchen and she smiled brightly at me. "Would you mind picking up a bag of dried oran berries while you're out, dear? It would be a nice treat for our pokemon."

"Of course!" I agreed readily, always happy to pick up treats for the most precious creatures in my life. "Send me a message if there's anything else you want me to pick up. I'm planning to be at the Christmas Market for at least a few hours."

"Still haven't decided on the ingredients you want for this year's Buche de Noel?" Mom asked me with an adoring grin.

I remembered how stifling I used to find it being at home with my mom constantly pressuring me to become a rhyhorn racer like she was. But after going on my pokemon journey with Ash and then leaving for my own journey to become a Pokemon coordinator I was amazed at how close my mom and I were now. She had become my biggest support and cheerleader as I traveled around the world participating in contests and improving myself and my pokemon.

When I was 16 I finally came back to Kalos and made my dream of becoming Kalos Queen a reality. I happily served in that position for 3 years before I was defeated by Suzette, an up-and-coming trainer who had a real knack for creating amazing spectacles with her pokemons' moves during her performances. To be honest, I expected to feel more sad when the inevitable announcement was made that I lost, but instead, all I could feel was pride and my pokemon for having lived out my dream. It was exciting to realize that I had the opportunity to chase a new dream now. Although that had been put slightly on the backburner since Suzette had become completely attached to me and begged me to stay on the Kalos Queen team as her mentor for at least a year.

Now that I'd officially resigned as her mentor and turned all of the Kalos Queen duties over to Suzette, I was content to relax and enjoy some quality time with my mom. I exhaled deeply before smiling at the visible steam my breath turned into as it hit the cold afternoon air. There was something magical about a white Christmas and I contentedly walked towards the town center as my boots flattened the crunchy snow underneath me.

It didn't take me long to get to the town center where the annual Christmas Market was set up. Stalls decorated with festive colors and garlands filled the street so densely that it was impossible for a car to get through. Delicious scents wafted from all around me and Christmas trees decorated in all shades of red, blue, gold, and silver peppered the market. A small tremor of excitement went through me as I picked a stall at random to begin my explorations.

I'd always enjoyed baking, as Kalos Queen I even released a recipe book for poke puffs inspired by my pokemon, and now in my retirement, I was using a lot of my free time experimenting in the kitchen. Most of my experiments had turned out well (if I discounted the time Delphox accidentally switched the sugar and salt in a batch of apple turnovers) and I had proudly declared that I would make this year's Buche de Noel for our Christmas celebration. The origin of this traditional holiday cake came from the story of the Yule Log.

A long time ago, back when it was common for people to have fireplaces in their homes, it was traditional for family members to pick out a special log that they would then burn on Christmas day. The tradition varied a lot depending on the family and the country you were visiting, some said you needed to burn the log completely on Christmas day, others would only let it burn a little bit at a time from Christmas until New Years, and some people even would save the very last part of their Yule Log and then use it as kindling to ignite the next year's Yule Log. Whatever the case though, it was a tradition that was meant to bring about peace and hope during the holidays. I didn't know when exactly (though I assumed it was when wood-burning fireplaces began to be replaced with modern heating) the tradition changed from burning an actual log into creating a decadent and beautiful cake that was rolled and decorated to look like a log and then enjoyed on Christmas Day with the family. Bakeries were always flooded with orders for the traditional Buche de Noel cake around Christmas time but I was excited to give making the cake myself a try.

The really great thing about making the cake myself was that I got to choose the flavor of the cake, creamy filling, and all of the decorations. Not that there was anything wrong with plain chocolate of course, but I had to admit that I liked to be a bit more adventurous with my flavor combinations. Ideas sparked incessantly as I made my way through the outdoor market (although I made sure to pick up the dried oran berries Mom had requested). After going back and forth I finally decided on using chai tea as my main inspiration. I would make a milk chocolate sponge cake spiced with ginger, a chai tea-infused cream for the swirl, and a dark chocolate ganache with nutmeg and cinnamon to cover it and create the illusion of tree bark with some of the decorating skills I had developed over the years.

Happy with my choices I bought everything I needed and glanced up at the sky, noticing the clouds roiling in from the east. Wondering if it was going to snow again, I reluctantly turned away from the market and started making my way back home. A familiar sound registered in my ears as I was passing the community pokefield where local trainers could practice their battling or performance skills. Surprised to hear the sounds of a battle, but also a little curious, I didn't hesitate to change my direction to follow the sounds of pokemon moves colliding.

The telltale zap of an electric attack was followed by a slight tingling on my skin as I turned a corner to get my first real look at the ongoing battle. I immediately recognized Callum, my childhood friend who had gone on to win the Kalos league recently and had been training to try and replace one of the Elite 4 members. He was battling with his original partner, Greninja, and was skillfully leading him against his opponent who had his back to me. With his winter jacket and beanie on I couldn't tell who he was... that is until he gave his next command.

"Pikachu, use Quick Attack to get close and give him a taste of your Electro Ball!"

My hands flew to my mouth so abruptly I dropped my bag of ingredients into the snow, but I was too shocked to even think of bending to pick them up. I watched in stunned silence as an incredibly familiar Pikachu burst forward so fast a streak of light followed after him. Even as the little pokemon ran forward electricity was gathering at the tip of his jagged tail in preparation to release an electro ball I knew was much more devastating than you would ever expect from such a cute pokemon.

"Greninja, Double Team, now!" Callum called out calmly.

Immediately his single Greninja multiplied until there were nearly a dozen different ones circling Pikachu. Even though his target had suddenly split apart though, Pikachu didn't miss a beat. I watched with bated breath as he launched himself up into the air calling out "Pika pika Chipang!" while releasing the ball of electricity towards the 4th Greninja on the left. I gasped when the attack actually landed on the real pokemon, cutting its concentration and causing all of the other copies to disappear. Callum let out a curse so colorful I almost went over and smacked him, but my attention was quickly pulled away from him and his pottymouth as Pikachu's trainer held out a confident hand.

"Finish it with Volt Tackle, Pikachu!"

Even before Pikachu dropped back to the ground his body practically exploded with visible electricity crackling all along his yellow fur. Pikachu hit the ground running, not giving Greninja even a second to recover from the previous attack before he barreled straight for its unprotected belly. Like an unhinged torpedo, Pikachu recklessly hurled into Greninja, and all of the electricity that had been surrounding his little body transferred into the water-type with a deafening crack that sent Greninja flying out of the battlefield where it landed in a snowbank and did not even twitch once.

"No!" Callum exclaimed with obvious frustration as he jogged through the snow to check on his pokemon.

"Nicely done, buddy!"

Pikachu shook his head, obviously having taken some recoil damage from his Volt Tackle, but it didn't take him long to bounce back and turn to look at his trainer with a triumphant grin. With a happy flick of his tail, Pikachu started towards his trainer but his little black eyes seemed to find mine and even from across the field I could see the surprise and happiness that flashed across his precious face.

"Pipichu!" Pikachu called out, immediately turning away from his trainer to run straight for me. Not even caring about the snow, I fell to my knees and opened my arms excitedly, catching Pikachu to my chest as he launched himself gleefully towards me. I hugged him tightly, giggling at the small shocks I got as I rubbed my cheek against the back of his small head.

"Oh, Pikachu, I missed you!" I said with a laugh, but I couldn't quite force myself to acknowledge his trainer who I was all too aware was beginning to walk over to us. My heart was already beginning to race in a familiar rhythm as I heard his crunching footsteps get closer, yet an equally familiar frustration and anger were beginning to settle in the pit of my stomach even as my cheeks grew warm with a blush.

"Pikapi! Pika chupika Pipichu!" I gazed down at Pikachu adoringly as he excitedly jabbered up at his trainer and patted my cheek with his forepaw as if telling his trainer that he'd found me.

"I didn't expect to run into you out here, Serena. Did you see our battle?" A shiver went through me that I wished I could blame on the cold, but I knew was actually due to my surprise at how much deeper his voice had gotten.

Four years will do that though, I thought to myself a little bitterly as I stubbornly kept my gaze down at Pikachu, not trusting myself to actually look up and acknowledge the man in front of me.

"You've gotten even stronger, Pikachu! I've never seen a Volt Tackle that explosive," I said encouragingly to the little yellow fluff in my arms.

Pikachu grinned proudly with a small twitch of one of his long ears. Seemingly satisfied, Pikachu turned and hopped out of my arms to land next to my spilled grocery bag. Just like the little gentleman he always was, Pikachu immediately picked up the glass bottle of chai tea that had rolled out of my bag and held it up to me with a bright smile.

"Thank you, sweetheart," I said with my attention still fully on him as I took the bottle from him.

My entire body flinched though when a pair of knees fell into my eyesight and long tan fingers reached out and picked up the container of specialty milk chocolate cocoa powder that had also fallen from my grocery bag. Knowing that I was being ridiculous, but still not wanting to fully acknowledge the presence of the man who (most likely unintentionally) ripped my heart out, I kept my eyes trained solely on the small logo in the top corner of the cocoa powder as it came closer to me.

"Looks like you still bake, huh? Were you getting poke puff ingredients?"

Seriously, Ash? You drop off the face of the earth for four years and now you show up out of nowhere and you want to know if I'm still baking?

"Oi, Serena, do you know this joker?" Callum's brusk voice interrupted my train of thought and I glanced up to see him stomping through the snow towards us.

Closing my eyes while inwardly calling myself a coward I snatched the cocoa powder from Ash and immediately stood up, swiftly walking towards him. Not realizing just how emotionally stressed I was, as soon as Callum came within striking distance I did not hold back and walloped him in the shoulder. Callum let out an indignant yelp and grabbed his shoulder while giving me a disgruntled grimace.

"What the heck was that for?" he asked accusingly. Planting one fist on my hip I shook a finger in his face and gave him my most disappointed look.

"What have I told you about swearing where kids could hear you? You say you want to be an Elite 4 member but do you really want kids across the region to hear you use such foul language when something goes wrong in a battle?"

Callum scowled deeply at me but it didn't take long for him to break eye contact and slump slightly under the heat of my anger.

"It's not like they haven't heard it from other people," Callum muttered rebelliously and I immediately sent my booted toes into his shin. I tutted loudly when Callum let another foul word leave his lips as he jumped back from me and glared at me.

"The point is that as someone who will one day be a role model you should hold yourself to a higher standard," I scolded with a huff as I crossed my arms and glowered at him. Just as he opened his mouth to argue I gave the final blow. "Besides, Suzette absolutely hates swearing."

Callum's mouth clamped shut immediately. A closed-lip smile of triumph spread across my face as Callum's cheeks began to bloom in a blush that got deeper the longer I stared at him. He opened and closed his mouth several times, doing a very convincing imitation of a Magicarp, before he finally just huffed and turned away moodily.

"Good battle, yah?"

My body froze in shock as an unexpected warmth pressed against the back of my left arm and shoulder and an arm that did not belong to me extended towards Callum. Shock had obviously not only numbed my body but also my brain because I could not seem to process the fact that Ash apparently thought it was a perfectly normal and okay thing to stand directly behind me with one hand on my shoulder and the other reaching out to shake Callum's hand. Because... why not?

True to form, Callum didn't pay any attention at all to my frozen state and instead glared at Ash with obvious dissatisfaction from his overwhelming loss. But after a moment he let out a sigh and reluctantly took Ash's extended hand for a shake.

"Yah, I'll admit I underestimated your Pikachu. No one's been able to see through Greninja's Double Team like that; how did you do it?" Callum asked, his frustration changing to admiration ever so slowly as he looked down at Pikachu who had come to stand next to my right leg.

"Pikachu can sense the electricity that flows through a living body," Ash said from so close to my left ear I thought I could feel his breath against my cheek. "We spent six months in the Haina Desert training against all the ground types out there. The sandile there were little devils that would travel through the sand and pop out to surprise attack us, but Pikachu learned how to sense the tiny bits of electricity in their body so now nothing can sneak up on him."

"That's insane," Callum exclaimed with obvious incredulity. My teeth clenched at this news though and my frozen body tensed with displeasure.

Training for six months in the desert, huh? What about the other three years that he disappeared without a word from him.

"It's definitely useful," Ash responded and I could almost hear the wide grin just from how light his voice was, but I still couldn't bring myself to turn that fraction of an inch to look at him. "Next time we should have a full 6-on-6 battle. I'd love to see what other pokemon you've got."

One of Callum's dark eyebrows raised in surprise and he tilted his head slightly. "You gonna stick around?" he asked before glancing over at me with a mildly curious expression.

An embarrassing squeak leaked out of my throat when Ash's hand on my shoulder suddenly snaked across my collarbone to land on my other shoulder. I nearly stumbled when Ash tightened his hold, pulling me both firmly yet gently so that my back was pressed against his chest.

"That's the plan," Ash declared from behind me as I desperately tried to convince my body to MOVE. Unfortunately, it seemed that there was an interruption between the commands I was sending from my brain and the synapses or receptors, or whatever it was in my body that actually made me function as a normal human being because my body remained rooted in place.

"Cool," Callum responded, completely shrugging off my predicament and giving us both a haphazard wave before he began turning away. "I'll be busy until Christmas, but we can plan a battle for after that."

"Sounds good," Ash replied casually as he returned Callum's wave, the motion making his chest shift and push even closer against my back.

Callum didn't seem to care that I was frozen and didn't return his wave, because he turned fully away and started back towards his parents' house. I stared after him, attempting to telepathically scream out to him to come back and not leave me alone with the monumentally oblivious man who thought it was totally normal to hug me from behind after disappearing for FOUR YEARS. My attempts at telepathy were obviously unsuccessful though since Callum's retreating form soon disappeared and I found myself alone in the middle of the snow-covered battlefield with the boy I had nearly given up for dead.

"I'm glad you came by, Serena! I was on my way to find you when Callum asked for a battle."

I didn't respond. Couldn't respond. It felt like the world was both collapsing around me and glowing with a magical light as I tried to grasp what the heck was going on. Ash's warmth suddenly pulled away from me and I gasped when I found myself suddenly being spun around to face the boy I had been in love with since I was a child. The boy who had saved me when I was lost in the forest. The boy who I reunited with unexpectedly and prompted me to start my own Pokemon journey and defy my mom and her wishes for me to be a rhyhorn racer. The boy who had helped me find my dream. The one who had been like a shining light that made me feel like anything was possible if I just didn't give up. He was my first love. My first kiss. And when I had been crowned Kalos Queen I gathered all of the courage I possessed and I finally confessed my feelings to him. And then...

"WHAP!"

I'm not sure who was more shocked by the slap, me with my stinging hand, or Ash as he stumbled back a step. Both of our eyes were wide and I realized that my breathing was coming out alarmingly erratic as I stared at the face of the only person I had ever loved. His normally tanned skin was even darker than usual, probably from spending so much time in a desert, he was a couple of inches taller than the last time I saw him, and even with his winter coat on I could tell that he had put on some muscle since his lanky teenage years. But his amber eyes were still the same, his hair was still unruly and poking out at weird angles from under his beanie, and darn it if my heart wasn't still beating so hard I thought it would leap right out of my chest.

My vision went blurry, signaling that the tears that had been building up ever since I heard his voice had finally escaped, but I continued to glare at Ash as he blinked in surprise and reached up to rub his reddening cheek. He looked confused but when he realized I was crying he had the GALL to actually look concerned and took a step towards me.

"Sere..."

"No!" I yelled as I flung my hands up to stop him from approaching me. "You! You... Selfish! Cruel! Stupid! Idiot!"

I didn't even bother to swipe at the tears coursing down my cheeks as I glared at Ash and his stupidly handsome face that was twisted in a look of utter bewilderment.

"Serena, what...?" Ash took another step towards me and I jerkily jumped back from him, my hands balling into fists so hard that they shook as I glared at him.

"How dare you? You think you can just show up here after years like everything is fine? Like you didn't rip out my heart and toss it to a pod of Sharknados to devour when you walked away after I told you that I loved you? Where have you been? Why did you leave? I..." all of the betrayal, anger, despair, and hurt that I had been holding inside for the past four years suddenly escaped me and I crumpled to my knees in the snow as I looked up at this infuriating man as I balled my eyes out. "You just... disappeared... I thought you died..." I wailed as Ash's face swam in my watery vision. "How could you..."

Heavy, painful sobs were tearing through my chest and making my shoulders heave from exertion but I couldn't muster the strength to wipe away my tears. Ash dropped to his knees, heedless of the snow, and I cried even harder when he confidently leaned forward and gathered me into his arms. I weakly pounded my clenched fists against his chest, trying to get him to let go, but his grip only tightened on me as he pressed my face against his neck which was surprisingly warm.

"I'm sorry, Serena. I didn't think... I'm sorry."

Ash murmured apologies to me over and over as my sobs continued and I continued to hit his chest. By the time my sobs had finally calmed down into just an occasional hiccupy gasp my jeans were completely soaked from the snow and I was shivering, but I couldn't find the desire to pull away from Ash's warm and strong embrace. I was a little shocked that the oblivious guy I had known even knew how to rub someone's back to comfort them like he was doing for me. Even though my crying was calming down he continued to whisper apologies to me as he cradled the back of my head in his hand like I was something fragile and precious.

Feeling thoroughly embarrassed and emotionally spent, I tentatively rested my palms against Ash's chest and gently pushed. To my surprise, Ash flinched at the gentle push, but he didn't immediately move away from me. I pushed against him again, just a little more firmly, and I could feel his reluctance but he slowly moved his arms from around me and leaned back. Regret, shame, and an almost unbearable amount of concern were etched into his handsome face as he looked into my eyes.

A few stray tears slipped from my eyes (which I was sure were puffy and red beyond belief) and I hiccuped from surprise when Ash immediately reached towards me. His fingers, which were heavily calloused, slipped softly across my cheeks and I closed my eyes as he used his thumbs to gently wipe away my tears. I blinked a few times to clear my vision and awkwardly cleared my throat before pulling away from his touch.

Neither Ash nor I moved or spoke and the silence between us rapidly turned heavy and awkward. I shivered as the cold from the snow under me seemed to seep up through my legs and into my whole body. Wrapping my arms around myself I peeked over at Ash to see him watching me intently. My cheeks warmed up under his intense stare and I once again cleared my throat which was almost painfully tight after crying for so long.

"What happened, Ash?" I finally managed to ask, although my voice was hoarse and crackly with emotion. "Why did you disappear like that?"

Ash grimaced, guilt flashing across his face and he let out a heavy sigh before reaching a hand up to rub at the back of his neck.

"I'm really sorry, Serena," he said for what must have been at least the thousandth time, but I was surprised when he actually looked hesitant as he met my eyes. I'd never seen him look anything but confident in all the years I had known him. It was weird to see him uncertain like this.

"After you became Kalos Queen... I was ecstatic," Ash began, meeting my eyes with a glint of pleading in his amber eyes. "I was so happy that you finally made your dream come true. And I was really glad I had been able to come and see you compete. I mean, even though we traveled to different regions after I left Kalos, I was always cheering for you and wanted to support you since you were important to me. And then when you told me that you loved me... I felt amazing! Like, I had just caught a legendary pokemon!"

A flicker of anger sparked in my chest at that comparison and I glared balefully at him. Surprisingly Ash's adam's apple bobbed in a gulp and he immediately looked away as his cheeks began to glow red. Multiple conflicting emotions raced through me at THAT reaction, but there was no way I was letting my guard down just because he was acting a little cute.

"If you were happy then why did you leave without a word of explanation?" I demanded to know, my voice much darker and angrier than I expected. Ash flinched at my tone but he turned back to look at me with a helpless shrug.

"I... didn't think I deserved you."

Silence stretched between us after his confession and my brain whirled in utmost confusion and disbelief as I stared at Ash. Of all the explanations and reasons for having Ash disappear the day after I confessed my love to him this was not one of the options I had ever even imagined. What the heck was that supposed to mean anyway?!

"You're... going to have to explain more," I stated slowly as I tried to decide if I should feel angry, confused, or resigned at this monumental idiot sitting across from me. "Why would that make it okay for you to not respond at all to my feelings and then disappear for four years without a word?"

Ash swallowed audibly and shuffled slightly in his spot in the snow. A flash of yellow caught my eye and I glanced over to see that Pikachu was crawling very cautiously across the snow gathering up my baking supplies that had once again spilled on the ground. He was obviously doing everything he could to stay low and give us our moment and a flash of affection for the sweet pokemon seemed to warm me from the inside out. I turned back to face Ash as he gathered himself and I decided that I was definitely in the right to be angry at him... but that I also couldn't help but give him a chance.

"Okay. So... I've never really thought about stuff like being in a relationship or feelings or anything like that," Ash admitted, his tongue seeming to stumble awkwardly over the words.

I couldn't help but snort derisively at that and an unexpected blush flashed across Ash's cheeks, but he bravely plowed on with his explanation.

"I mean, you kissed me back when you were leaving for Hoenn so I had always thought that someday maybe you and I would... I dunno. Be together I guess?"

Now it was my turn to blush crimson. Ash had NEVER, not even once, acknowledged that I kissed him goodbye in the airport when we parted ways all those years ago. I honestly thought he had forgotten about it. To hear that he had been thinking he wanted to be with me ever since then...?! I didn't know how to react to that. But I didn't have time to analyze my inner turmoil of feelings because Ash continued speaking.

"When you told me you loved me after the Kalos Queen competition three years ago, at first I was really happy. You told me that I could think about it before I gave my answer though and I realized I didn't know... how to answer you? Like... was I supposed to say I love you back and become your boyfriend? I knew you were important to me but I didn't even know what love really was. Then all these questions started popping up. What does a boyfriend do? Did that mean I needed to stay in Kalos with you? Could I even make you happy?"

My mouth dropped open in shock as I listened to Ash stumble through his thought process. This... this was not at all what I expected. To see Ash, who I had always held up on a pedestal as a guy who could take on any of life's challenges with a huge grin, stumble over himself and seem so unsure was jarring. I had never intended to make him feel like this and I almost reached out to touch his arm, but Ash suddenly reached up both hands and buried them in his hair underneath his beanie. I blinked rapidly as he rubbed at his scalp almost like he was trying to physically push all of his jumbled thoughts back into a straight line and I felt my shoulders droop down in sympathy as I realized just how much he had struggled with my confession.

"I thought about it all night," Ash admitted with a huge exhale before dropping his hands and looking back at me with an embarrassed and regretful smile. "The more I thought about being your boyfriend... the more the image of how happy and excited you had been when they announced that you were going to be Kalos Queen came into my head. You were so beautiful and radiant in that moment when you made your dream come true. I realized that, even though I'd been working hard for years, I still hadn't made my dream of being a Pokemon Master come true. Actually, I realized that I wasn't even sure HOW I would know when I was a pokemon master."

I blinked, surprised at this slight change in topic, but I listened intently. Even when Ash and I had traveled together, I couldn't remember a time he had opened up this much to me. I wanted to understand him.

"I thought that I might love you, Serena," Ash said in his distressingly blunt fashion and I could feel my entire body thrum at this unexpected declaration. "But I didn't know how to be a boyfriend. I didn't know how to be anything but a pokemon trainer that traveled around aimlessly. I... felt embarrassed. That you had achieved your goal and I was just wandering around the world catching pokemon with this ambiguous dream of being a 'pokemon master'. I didn't like that feeling. It was like I had been looking at the world through a tiny telescope and saying that I was moving towards my goal, but then you took away my telescope and suddenly I could see everything else around me that I had never even paid attention to or known existed."

"Oh, Ash... I..." My eyes went wide and I clamped my mouth shut when Ash suddenly reached out and pressed his hand against my lips. The look he gave me was so full of affection and apologetic regret that I was stunned into silence. He gave me a half-smile before pulling his hand back.

"Just let me finish," he said pleadingly and I mutely nodded. He huffed out an awkward chuckle and once again rubbed the back of his neck.

"Anyways, I realized that you deserved someone way better than me. I didn't think it was fair for me to reply to your confession when I wasn't even sure what love was. So... I decided that I needed to figure myself out. And that I wouldn't come back until I knew I could answer you confidently."

Okay... that is both stupidly romantic and also devastatingly idiotic at the same time. I thought to myself and I couldn't hold back the heavy sigh that came out of me. Ash flinched at the sound and I hated that I found his hesitance absolutely adorable.

"I'm really sorry, Serena. I didn't even think that you would be worried if I left like that. I was so focused on trying to figure out how I felt and how to actually become a pokemon master so I could be confident when I told you my feelings that I didn't consider your feelings. I'm really sorry. I'm a complete idiot."

"Pikachu chu pika."

Pikachu's accusatory grumble coming from somewhere to my left surprised a laugh out of me and I quickly covered my mouth with my hand and glanced away from Ash to compose myself. When I turned back to look at him I was shocked to see how penitent and sad he seemed. A violent shiver rippled through me suddenly and I glanced around at the empty battlefield. Feeling surprisingly light, I cleared my throat and Ash immediately met my gaze. He seemed confused when I gave him a small smile and pushed myself onto my feet.

"Why don't we walk while we talk? I'm kind of cold," I admitted gently as I hesitantly held out a hand for him.

Ash blinked up at me mutely for a moment, looking completely shocked, but it didn't take long for a relieved smile to break across his face. He reached out and confidently took my hand, although he boosted himself to his feet easily without my help. My cheeks warmed up when Ash's firm grip on my hand gave no indication that he'd be letting go soon. Sounds of a struggle caught my attention and I looked over to see Pikachu attempting to drag my grocery bag towards me through the snow. Ash immediately started towards him, pulling me along gently by our entwined hands, and lifted my bag into his free hand. Pikachu looked up at me with a smile but I was surprised when he turned and bounded away a few feet where he started making a miniature snowball which he then began rolling in the snow.

Aww, is he giving us some privacy to talk? I thought to myself, but a squeeze on my hand from Ash pulled my thoughts and eyes back to him. He gave me a hesitant smile and then tilted his head to the left.

"This way, okay?" he asked hopefully. I returned his smile and nodded.

We fell into step with each other as we meandered around the battlefield. I listened as Ash explained about how he had gone on his journey of self-discovery. He had spoken with all of the region champions he had met during his past travels to try and determine exactly what being a pokemon master meant and I was shocked to hear that he had also asked them about what love was. In typical Ash fashion, he held back no details, even if the topic normally would have been embarrassing for most people. Once he caught me up on what he had been doing with his life, I couldn't help but be in awe.

"Wow, Ash. Do you really think you'll be able to catch and train every single pokemon in the pokedex?" I asked incredulously.

The smile that Ash flashed down at me was more radiant than the sun and I couldn't help the flutters that rippled through my heart and chest at the sight of it.

"Of course! It may take me my whole life, but to be a pokemon master I've decided that I need to be able to understand and become friends with every pokemon in existence. And the best way to understand them is to bond with them through battling!"

I chuckled, not sure if that's what I personally believed, but I was so proud of Ash for finding his own answer.

"So you don't want to be a champion? I guess I had always thought when you said 'pokemon master' that you would eventually become a pokemon champion for whatever region you decided to live in," I mused aloud, feeling myself drift ever closer to Ash as we walked.

"That's the thing, I don't want to be tied down to a single region like a Champion is," Ash explained with a shake of his head. "After all, even over the last four years new pokemon have been discovered and the pokedex just gets bigger and bigger. If I'm stuck in one region because of my job then I'd miss out on the chance to bond with all of the pokemon out there."

"That makes sense," I responded with another chuckle. "But you'll keep participating in the pokemon leagues as you travel?"

"Of course!" Ash responded enthusiastically and his grip on my hand tightened for a moment. "There's nothing that beats the rush of battling in the league and pitting me and my pokemon against strong opponents! Plus, I wouldn't be able to keep traveling without the prize money from competing in the league. It's my only source of income," Ash admitted with a sheepish grin.

I chuckled and nodded along with him. We slipped into a companionable silence for a moment and I couldn't believe how happy I felt in this moment. Having Ash back in my life and knowing that he had been thinking about me the whole time he had been gone was so relieving. Although I was still pretty angry at him for not having contacted me all these years. But I knew better than anyone how determined he could be and how one-tracked his mind could be. Knowing that my confession had basically turned his world upside down it made sense that he had put his entire focus into figuring himself out like he did.

"So..." I started hesitantly, nerves wriggling through me as I hesitantly looked up at him. "It sounds like you figured out what it means to be a pokemon master and you know how you're going to make your dream come true... Did you... figure out what love is?"

Ash came to a stop and I followed suit, holding my breath as he turned and looked down at me with determination making his amber eyes sparkle. He reached for my other hand and I gulped as he held both of my hands tightly while gazing into my eyes.

"I did," he answered emphatically.

Hope blossomed inside me and I let out a shaky breath as I met his gaze straight on.

"And... do you have an answer for me?" My stomach was roiling from the massive nerves that spread through me and made the tips of my fingers tingle. I swallowed past a lump in my throat when Ash nodded firmly and continued to look at me.

"You're the only one for me, Serena," Ash declared without preamble. My eyes widened and even though I had cried a river earlier more tears began to prickle at the corners of my eyes although I tried desperately to hold them back. "I... am obviously still insensitive and I can't believe I made you so worried you thought I had died. What I did to you was incredibly selfish, and it's stupid that I didn't even realize it until I saw you crying... but if you can forgive me for hurting you... then I want to be with you. As your lover."

An awkward choke bubbled up my throat at Ash's use of the word "lover". Heat exploded across my face as I tried to grasp exactly what was happening and how I was supposed to react. I slipped one of my hands out of Ash's while gripping tighter with the other and bent my head down, hiding my eyes away for a second to try and compose myself and sort through everything I was feeling.

"Serena?" Ash called my name cautiously and I could feel his fingers beginning to knead my palm gently. I wondered if he was nervous, but honestly, after everything he had done, I felt he deserved to sweat a little. "Are... you okay?" Ash asked as he took a half-step closer to me while continuing to fidget with my hand that was still holding his.

Taking a steadying breath, I slowly raised my head and met Ash's nervous gaze. It was absolutely unfair how handsome he looked now that he had fully matured. Standing before me wasn't the little boy who had tied a handkerchief around my knee then led me out of the forest by the hand. He was a fully grown man who had an impossibly huge dream that I somehow knew he would achieve because... he was Ash. And Ash could do anything.

"It's going to take more than an apology for me to forgive you for four years of pain and worry," I declared emphatically.

Ash flinched and his head drooped adorably, looking the picture of a scolded growlithe. I knew he deserved so much more... but I couldn't resist reaching up with my free hand and cupping his cold cheek against my palm. Ash's head jerked up, his eyes adorably widened as he stared down at me with obvious confusion.

"Darn it, Ash..." I exhaled with an exasperated chuckle. "You really are an idiot. But I think I'm an even bigger idiot because I'm still head over heels for you."

Ash's eyes widened even more and he stepped closer to me as delight flashed across his face.

"You mean it?" he asked excitedly. A cloud of white escaped my mouth as my breath mingled with the cold air with my laugh and I tenderly stroked my thumb against his cheekbone.

"Yes, Ash. Call me crazy, but I'll always love you," I stated with happy resignation.

I yelped when Ash suddenly swooped down, circling his arms tightly around my waist, and started spinning me around. I grabbed onto his shoulders and laughed as he whirled us around. Who knows how long he would have kept spinning me, but he stumbled in the snow, nearly dropping me in the process. He saved us at the last second though and immediately put me back on my feet, checking me to make sure I hadn't gotten hurt.

With a gleeful laugh, I reached up, cupping both of his cheeks in my hands, and pulled him down to meet my lips in a warm kiss. I had been expecting him to just stand there and let me kiss him like he did when we were kids so I was NOT prepared when he wrapped one arm around my waist to anchor my body firmly against him and then cupped the back of my neck with his other hand to deepen the kiss.

I gasped from the unexpected heat and then squeaked in absolute shock when Ash's warm tongue took advantage and slipped into my mouth. Stunned beyond words I couldn't think to do anything but cling onto Ash as he seemed to dive into me, exploring every surface and crevice before retreating only to crash his lips to mine. The urgency and passion behind this kiss went beyond anything I could have imagined and it felt like my entire body would melt. When Ash finally pulled back we were both panting heavily and my legs were trembling like a newborn deerling. Ash rested his forehead against mine and gently nuzzled our noses together as we tried to catch our breath.

"I love you, Serena," Ash whispered, sending pleasant tingles up and down my spine. "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Ash," I whispered back.

Ash exhaled a warm breath from his nose at my words before tipping his head and pressing our lips together again. This kiss was far more gentle though. Slow, tender, and so achingly beautiful I wished time would just freeze in this exquisite moment. When his lips finally pulled back from mine I missed his warmth and I almost chased after him, but he tipped my head forward and pressed a gentle kiss to my temple before wrapping both arms around my shoulders and pulling me in for a bone-crushing hug that I returned.

We stayed in each other's arms for a long, long time. Eventually, though I pulled back just enough so I could look into his face. His whole countenance seemed to have lit up and I felt a shiver of elation go through me at the obvious affection in his gaze as he looked down at me questioningly.

"So, um, now what happens?" I asked him, unconsciously tightening my arms around his chest. Ash blinked but then smiled and slipped his arms from my shoulders and clasped his hands together to rest comfortably against the small of my back.

"There are tons of pokemon I have to catch in the Kalos region still," Ash said with a grin. "I want to take at least a few months to just spend time with you, but when the pokemon league starts for the year I'll travel back and forth to gyms and wherever you are as Kalos Queen so we won't have to be apart for more than a few weeks at a time I don't think."

I blinked up at him and raised one eyebrow as I smirked at him.

"Hmm, only one problem though," I said as I leaned even more completely against him. I absolutely loved feeling him pressed up against me, it was like we were two puzzle pieces that had finally been fitted together after years of sitting neglected in the back of the game cupboard.

"What's that?" Ash asked with a small frown, looking more worried than I had expected. I raised myself on my tiptoes to kiss him at the corner of his mouth before smiling reassuringly at him.

"I'm not Kalos Queen anymore," I replied with a small chuckle. Ash's mouth dropped open and I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his obvious shock.

"What?! But you were perfect! I thought..."

His outrage was adorable and I couldn't resist tipping up and catching his lips with mine, cutting him off mid-sentence. Ash grunted slightly but returned my kiss without hesitation and I felt goosebumps erupt on my arms even under my winter coat. When the kiss began to turn heated I quickly pulled back, clearing my throat and trying to get my brain to focus on our conversation and not how much I wanted to drown myself in Ash's kisses.

"Ahem. Thank you for your confidence in me, but it's pretty normal for a Kalos Queen to switch out every few years. I lost my spot last year, but I was able to live out my dream. I have absolutely no regrets," I explained with a content smile.

Ash frowned though and he let out a growling sigh before pulling his lips into what I could only call a pout. It was so adorable I nearly squealed but I held it back since he was looking at me with obvious disappointment.

"I was looking forward to watching one of your performances again though... I should've come back sooner," he complained disgruntedly. I let out a breathy giggle and reached up to flick him on the forehead. Ash flinched and rubbed his head but he smiled sheepishly at me when I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Yes. You definitely should have come back sooner," I agreed emphatically, still salty about him leaving me behind without a word like that. I was definitely going to make him regret that... but not tonight.

"However, since I no longer have those responsibilities I have found myself with a lot of free time lately," I said languidly, giving him a meaningful glance. Ash blinked and a slow smile began to spread across his lips.

"That so?" he asked teasingly as he released his hands and criss-crossed his arms over my back. His hands rested on my hips and pulled me even closer against him, which I hadn't realized was even possible. A blush began to creep up my neck and I had to try VERY hard to keep my voice aloof.

"Mmhmm," I agreed noncommittally as I began to rub little circles with my fingers against Ash's back. "You wouldn't happen to be looking for a travel companion while you're challenging gyms and filling up your pokedex would you?" Ash's smile widened into a radiant grin and my heart quivered at how happy he looked.

"You really want to travel with me again?" Ash asked with hope and excitement making his voice almost vibrate. I huffed out a scoff that quickly turned into a chuckle and I beamed up at him.

"As if I'll ever let you out of my sight again," I teased mockingly.

A hint of guilt flashed through Ash's eyes at that, but it was quickly replaced with happiness and he leaned down to give me another steaming kiss. My legs were quivering again when he finally pulled away but we were both grinning from ear to ear as he left a trail of kisses from my cheek to my nose to my forehead.

"I'd love that. If that's what you want," Ash said breathily as we rested against each other.

"It is," I stated firmly as I leaned forward and pressed my nose into the hollow of his throat. "I can't wait to explore the world with you."

Long minutes passed as we traded between discussing what the future would look like for us and sharing a myriad of kisses and sweet words of love. When my nose began to run from how cold it was though Ash reluctantly pulled away from me. After picking up my grocery bag we'd left on a bench, we made our way back to Pikachu who had constructed an entire family of adorable snow pokemon sculptures while we talked. Ash held my hand firmly in his as all three of us made our way back towards my mom's home. Every step we took left imprints in the snow and as I glanced back at our footprints I couldn't help but hope that from now on Ash and I would always walk next to each other as we faced the future. Together.

A/N Phew. Even though I wrote this I am still not sure if Serena really should have forgiven Ash that fast :P :P BUT it's a oneshot so I guess it's fine. Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope you have an amazing year filled with happiness and new adventures <3