Sterling

On the third night of The Christmas Tree Festival, Sterling headed to Celeste's apartment to pick her up. Tucked under his arm was a small gift for her. It only seemed right, considering which night of the Festival it was—The Night of Gifts.

As he reached the door to her apartment, he poked at the little intercom. It gave a buzz, and as Sterling stood there, waiting for a response, he took a look around. Celeste and Alicia's apartment was over a dusty little bookshop that had closed early in preparation for the festival—or so the sign on the door said. If Sterling had to guess, though, as he peered through the dirty window, the place looked like it hadn't been open in ages.

The intercom gave a buzz back. "Sterling?" came Celeste's crackling voice.

"Yep, it's me," Sterling replied.

The intercom gave another buzz, and the door clicked as it was unlatched. Sterling pulled it open and stepped into the small lobby, stomping to shake the snow off his boots before he headed up the stairs. The door to Celeste's apartment was right off the landing and was probably already unlocked. As he stepped in, he found Celeste in the living room, waiting for him. She was wearing a soft white oversized sweater that hung more like a tunic over her dark leggings.

A bright smile spread across her face at the sight of him. "Hi!" she cheered. "You're right on time."

"You say that like it's some great achievement," he said, chuckling. He swiped at his face—it felt warm, though when he touched it his cheeks were still cool from the cold. He kept his coat, the same one borrowed from Alicia, on because he expected she'd want to head out as soon as possible. "I got you something."

Celeste tilted her head at him. "Why?"

Sterling had to laugh. Who questioned getting gifts? "It's the Night of Gifts, isn't it?"

"But you've already gotten me a gift... Gifts, even!" she motioned to the tree in the corner by the mantle, still leaning lopsided in the bucket. It was thick and fluffy, and the air was thick with its pleasant resinous smell, so it seemed to be doing well.

"Well, here's one more."

He held it out to her. Something had been placed loosely in whatever gaudy gift bag paper Olly had on hand—lime green with cherry red stripes.

Curious, she stepped forward to take it. "Should I open it?"

"Probably," Sterling said. "I think it's more useful before Christmas than after, so, go ahead."

Celeste tore into the clumsily wrapped tissue paper, revealing a small roll of white garland. It was iridescent, reminiscent of ice crystals. She smiled at it, running her hand over its fuzzy texture.

"I figured you might need a little more for your tree," Sterling said, nodding to it. It was still only decorated with the two ornaments he'd bought her, a string of lights, and its paper-snowflake star.

"Our tree," she corrected, still petting the garland. She smiled at him. "Though I don't mind the simple look."

For some reason, his chest seemed to flutter. He gave a weak smile back and then turned away. "Well, I thought it might need a bit more. I always like the look of garland. But you don't have to put it on if you don't want to."

"No, I want to," Celeste said. "We can do it after the festival, when we come back here."

Sterling paused. He didn't realize that was the expectation. But now that she had said it, he wouldn't mind spending another evening here...

Celeste went to the tree and placed the garland at its base, leaning against the bucket alongside a few other gifts. They were much larger and much better wrapped.

"Did Santa come early?" Sterling asked, pointing to the other additions.

"Oh," Celeste said, rearranging the other presents. "Those are just from my parents. They sent them early so I've just dug them out of the closet and put them out. At least I'll have something to open on Christmas morning."

Her face fell, and she sighed, but she seemed to fight off the turn in her mood and turned back to him with a smile, though it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"What about you? Are you and Olly exchanging gifts?"

"No," Sterling said. "I told him not to bother."

"Why not?" Celeste said.

"Gifts were never a really thing for me on Christmas," Sterling said.

"Not even as a kid?"

Sterling's insides felt like they had frozen over. "Nope."

The coloured drained from Celeste's already pale features, leaving only her freckles. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Sterling said, now regretting bringing it up. He wanted to change the subject. "But we should get going, shouldn't we?" He headed for the door, not waiting for Celeste. She had to chase after him, grabbing her coat as she went.

🎄

Tonight, the Festival was as different as it was the same. The stalls and booths were aligned in their familiar pattern, but the vendors and their contents had changed. Where they had sold tree decor last time, now there were all kinds of things that would make lovely gifts—handicrafts, knick-knacks, and above all else, toys. There were toys everywhere. And children. They ran to and fro, chasing after each other and dragging their parents along to show them just what they wanted Santa to bring them for Christmas.

Santa was already there, too. The new addition to the town square was a huge red and gold sleigh nestled beneath the lower branches of the enormous tree. Santa sat at the helm in the front, and children were lined up for the chance to climb up there and sit with him to whisper their dearest wishes. The back of the sleigh was already piled high with gifts. Volunteers, dressed as elves, were wrapping things up and adding them to the pile.

"It's a toy drive," Celeste explained as she walked through the bustling festival crowd, arm-in-arm with Sterling. It seemed pretty natural to have her on his arm now. "It's to encourage charity. Everyone deserves to have a gift to open on Christmas morning."

Sterling nodded along. He agreed with the idea in principle though that rule had never applied to him. There had been plenty of Christmases where he had gotten nothing at all.

But that wasn't how it was supposed to be.

He spotted a kid standing in front of the sleigh, his eyes wide in awe at the pile of presents in the back. He was wearing a hat that was too big for his small head, and his jacket looked a little threadbare, patched in places. He looked like the kind of kid the toy drive would benefit from. It reminded Sterling of himself when he was that age.

"I want to buy something," Sterling announced, "to donate to the toy drive."

Celeste looked up at him, startled. There was something careful and tender in her eyes, but then she quickly smiled. "That sounds like a great idea!"

She had been looking at him with those gentle eyes since he'd let slip that sliver of the truth about his past and all its rough edges. He regretted saying it—he'd said too much. Now his greatest wish was that he could take it all back so she'd stop worrying about him. Would Santa grant that wish? If he crawled onto the big guy's lap, would he listen?

The image in his mind of him doing just that made him laugh.

"What's so funny?" Celeste asked, her face creasing together in confusion. She was clearly still worrying.

"Nothing," Sterling said, clearing his throat. He felt bad. He hated having people worry about him. "What should I get to donate?"

"I don't know," Celeste said. "Kids have all kinds of different tastes. Why not get something you would've loved to open as a kid?"

Sterling went stiff. That subject again.

Celeste seemed to notice. "Sorry, I didn't... I mean..."

"It's fine," Sterling said.

"I mean, what was your favorite toy?" Celeste looked worried that this was also a loaded question.

"Legos?" Sterling offered, trying to restore ease between them. "I liked Legos. Kids still like legos, right?"

"Legos are classic," Celeste said. "I liked Legos, too."

"I don't know where we'd find them, though," Sterling said, looking around. Everything near the sleigh was handmade stuff—woodworking, leather goods, knitwear.

"Here, I think I know where we can get them." She tugged on his arm and led him through the crowd.

Sterling let her lead him. Now that she had a plan, she wasn't worried about him anymore. That was a win, he thought. He'd let her do anything as long as she stopped worrying.

As they navigated the crowd—the hordes of children made the crowd very tight and difficult to move through—someone caught his eye.

In the distance, he spotted Jared. Of course, Rebecca was there too, though she didn't look as excited as the other times they'd run into each other. Jared was practically dragging her through the crowd like they were looking for someone. Had they lost their friends? Or was he...?

Sterling shook off Celeste's arm. She staggered to a stop and shot him a questioning look. Sterling didn't bother to explain. He knew that if he mentioned her ex, she'd get sad again—Jared always ruined her mood, and he'd only just got her smiling again. He wasn't going to let Jared ruin this again.

He just reached out and pulled her close. "That way looks really crowded," he said, pushing her in the other direction. "Let's go this way."

"Okay," Celeste said, confused. But she didn't argue.

On the new path, it did take a bit longer to get there, but they eventually found the booth Celeste had been thinking of. It was for a specialty store that sold model kits and educational games. But Lego was there, too. There was a myriad of models and sets of every shape and size.

Sterling frowned. "What's with the models? What happened to the big buckets where you had to use your imagination to build stuff?" That had been his favourite part. Turning a pile of miscellaneous pieces into whatever he wanted.

"Times have changed," Celeste said with a shrug.

Sterling wasn't satisfied with that answer. He approached the owner, a kindly-looking man with glasses. "Do you have buckets of Lego?"

"Sure do!" the man said with a big grin. "Not many people ask for them, but I still keep them in stock." He lowered his voice, "I liked using my imagination, too." He gave Sterling a friendly wink.

Sterling couldn't help but grin as he handed over the money. The toy brought back one of his good childhood memories, the few he had.

They walked back through the festival, the bucket of Legos hanging between them. Celeste kept looking down and smiling at it, then up at him.

"Y'know, the only good Christmas morning I had was I got a gift from the toy drive," he said.

"Oh?" Celeste perked up and looked over at him with raised eyebrows. She didn't say anything more like she didn't want to pry if he didn't want to talk. But she watched him expectantly and let the silence hang an open invitation.

Sterling surprised himself by taking it. Like last night, he found it very easy to talk to Celeste. "A man dressed as Santa came to the door of our little house. He had a sack and everything. At the time, I was shocked by how much Santa looked like my neighbour—I thought they must be cousins or something. It didn't occur to me that it was my neighbour."

He laughed, and Celeste did, too.

"What did he give you?" she asked.

"I don't even remember," Sterling said. "Isn't that funny? I just remember the joy of having something on Christmas morning. I was at least old enough to notice that it wasn't... normal to have nothing."

Celeste was watching him with her lips pressed together like something was bothering her.

"What is it?"

"You said you'd never had a good Christmas... But that sounds pretty good to me."

"I haven't," Sterling said. "That one doesn't count. Only the morning was good. And then my dad came home and ruined it."

Celeste's mouth fell open in quiet dismay. "Oh."

"It's alright."

"I'm sorry."

"I said, it's alright."

"It's not, though."

Sterling just looked at her. She was staring at him earnestly, her lips pressed together like she was struggling to find the right words. Then she leaped forward and hugged him—really hugged him. Squeezed him tight until his ribs almost hurt.

"Hey, now," Sterling said, patting the top of her head, the pom-pom on her head bouncing with his touch. "Don't worry about me. I'm fine. It was a long time ago."

Celeste finally, slowly, pulled away. When she met his eye, her jaw was set. "It doesn't matter how long it was. It's not fair. I'm sorry you never got to experience the Christmas you deserved."

"Maybe I didn't," he said. But he raised up the bucket of Lego, giving her his best I'm-okay-I-promise smile. "But we'll make sure someone gets theirs."

"That's right," Celeste said, her eyes brightening. She looked over. They had reached Santa's Workshop under the tree. "If you go up to the elves, they'll wrap it nice for you and put it in the sleigh for you."

"Elves, huh?," Sterling said. "Alright. You wait here."

"I'll be waiting by the, uh..." she said, looking around the booths nearby. "Leather goods booth." She tilted her head at the booth as she considered it.

"I'll find you," Sterling said, heading on.

Following her instructions, he approached the first available elf. She looked no older than sixteen, and her rosy youth paired with the pointed ears made her truly elven. "Age?"

"Uh, 26?"

The girl giggled. "I mean the age range for the gift."

Sterling rolled his eyes. "Duh. Sorry. Uh... Whatever age stops putting these things in their mouth."

"There's no age for that," she said with a little laugh, but she scribbled something down on a piece of paper. "Girl, boy, or both and beyond?"

"Uh, both? Anyone can play with Lego."

The girl scribbled something else.

"Great," she said. She held out her hand. "Thank you for your donation. You're going to make some kid very happy."

Sterling smiled. "I hope so." He handed over the gift.

As he got back to the storefronts, he looked for Celeste. Despite finding the leather goods booth, she was nowhere to be found—at least not that he could see. The booth was rather busy, and Sterling could see why. All the items they sold looked very nice, well made and of high quality. Sterling considered perusing the selection, but a glance at a price tag told him it was a little rich for his blood...

"There you are!" Celeste chirped. She hopped out from some corner, busy stuffing her scarf or something into the front of her coat. "All done?"

"All done," Sterling said. "What do you say we go get ourselves a drink?"

"Hot chocolate?"

"I was thinking something a bit stronger," he said. "I think we've earned it."

🎄