For a moment you stood there, your eyes fixed on him and your mouth slightly open.

Confused, you took a step back.

Then you laughed. It was a soft laugh, overwhelmed and trembling.

"Shit, Redfield.", you were still laughing. "All these years. All these years and you decide to like me now?"

He laughed.

"I've liked you for a long time."

"A terrible decision, really. I'm not a good partner."

"Oh yeah?", he stepped even closer and at that moment you knew there was no way out. "If you don't want people by your side, why do you keep coming back to me? Every time we part ways, you return. Not just like that, but exactly to me. And every time it's like we're a fucking married couple."

Your eyes jumped across his face.

He was angry, yes, but not so much because of you. Instead, he was angry at himself. You knew how to solve that so he could get his head back on straight.

However, you weren't particularly looking forward to it.

A deep sigh left your lips as you dropped your weapon as well and took off your vest. Ready to fight with him, you raised your hands, clenched them into fists and got into position.

"Come on Redfield.", you challenged him. "Let's talk about it. Like back in the day."

He pulled a face.

As he took another step toward you, you briefly regretted your decision. He was so tall and broad that he could have knocked you out with ease.

"So you'd rather fight me than talk?", he laughed bitterly and stepped even closer before raising his hands. "Last chance."

You nodded.

"Unfortunately.", you mumbled. "Come on, Redfield. Don't hold back."

He didn't. The first blow that hit you was to the chest. It was so hard that it took your breath away for a moment. Startled, you stumbled back and coughed, but quickly ducked down to avoid another blow.

"You fucking idiot!", he yelled, suddenly taken by the rage he harbored against himself. "Why?!"

You hit his arm, twirled him around and managed to knock him off his feet.

With a gasp he fell to the ground.

You used the brief moment of his weakness to sit on him.

He jerked his arms up in the air and tried to knock you out, but you dodged it. Again he tried to hit your face, but you were faster, grabbed his wrists and pressed them to the ground.

Briefly he growled and cursed, but then stopped when he realized that it was no use.

"And now we're talking, Redfield.", you bent down to him, a smile on your lips. "So tell me what's your problem?"

"You!", he growled. "You are my problem. You sit here, that fucking smile on your face, and act like you can do anything to me."

"Oh yeah? And you? What about you, Redfield? Every time we have our moments you're the one acting like a good husband. And then what? The minute things get hot, you run."

He laughed mockingly.

"You were always the one fucking around.", he showed you his teeth.

Underneath you could feel him trembling. But you didn't know exactly if it was from anger or cold.

"You always left. Whenever something happened you always disappeared and then you didn't come back for years. And when you do come back...", he hesitated, his tongue licking over his lips. "Then something always happens between us and I don't know what to make of it."

Hesitantly you let go of his hands.

He had calmed down a little, but there was still that dark glimmer you could see in his eyes. You had to laugh at the sight and his words.

"Shit, Redfield.", you ran your hand through your (H/C) hair. "You always said you were not a man to marry. You never wanted anyone by your side. We've had this conversation often enough. And what do we get out of it? Nothing. We stay on the spot, sometimes one step forward and then two steps back."

He sighs, so endlessly tired of everything.

"That's... that's not the worst.", he muttered, swallowing hard. "The worst... is that I... no matter how much we move or stop... it bothers me, but... it hurts... not as much as when you're gone."

His words caused something in your chest to tighten.

"Shit...", you cursed. "I... understand."

It tasted bitter to admit it, but you couldn't deny it any longer.

"I'm sinking.", he whispered suddenly in a weak voice. "I don't know what to do. Time has left heavy scars."

His eyes searched for yours and suddenly there was this weakness in him. He was so close. Soon he would break and never be the same again.

You swallowed thickly. It hurt to hear your feelings out of his mouth. You knew how he felt. And it almost broke you.

"I... I don't know what to tell you.", you whispered and closed your eyes. "But I can't be the one that keeps you sane. I'm... slowly loosing it myself."

"I know. But I don't mind. I... I'm glad that we're the same. It's hard to keep my head above water, but with you... it's so easy."

You sighed.

"I'm not a lifesaver, Red-... Chris. I'm like a rock, tied to your feet. I'll only drag you down. I- I'm barely keeping myself above water... I don't want to be the reason why you drown."

He laughed. It was a painful one, so desperate and broken.

"I wouldn't mind... I'm so close to falling off the deep end. So close... to... loosing myself. I'll fall either way, with or without you.", his eyes locked with yours. "Please... don't let me fall alone."

Your lips trembled. Suddenly, you had to fight back tears.

Why?

Why did he have to say it out loud?

Why was he able to make you speak your mind?

Nobody had ever been able to do so. And he didn't even need words. He just looked at you and you wanted to tell him everything.

"I won't let you fall at all. And I'll do everything I have to, to keep you floating.", you whispered.

He smiled, tried.

"If you fall, I'll jump after you.", he said.

"Why? Why do you have to do this..?"

"Because... I need you. I can't do this without you. All those years I was living on, but the only thing that kept me going was the thought that you are still alive. Somewhere. I hate myself. I hate what we have. But I need it. I need you. (Y/N)."