With a worried look, Chris kept pressing the button that would send a signal.

But no matter how many times he did it and called your name, you didn't answer.

"Shit.", he lowered his hand. "This is not good... I have to go check."

He jumped up, grabbed his gun and was about to go on his way. But a hand suddenly grabbed him and held him back.

"Alpha.", the sniper raised his eyes as if to talk Chris out of worrying. "Your comrade may be from the old old days, but soldiers are soldiers. We do what we have to do to save one member of the team, but you act like you value that one more than the rest."

Chris pressed his lips together. He knew his behavior wasn't right, but he just couldn't help it.

"The contact is gone.", he freed himself from the grip, a little harsher than intended. "You sit here in safety. (Y/N) is underground, maybe fighting till death. Do you think I'm going to let one of my soldiers die?"

His words were harsh and his voice so strong, he almost convinced himself he wasn't worried. Nobody would have guessed that he was as nervous as he had rarely been. But even he had to admit that the way he behaved was suspicious.

The sniper shook his head.

"Of course not. But it's unusual for you to act so rashly."

"We don't have time to think every single detail through."

"Then at least take the time to keep a cool head. We have a plan. It would be better to carry it out exactly like this."

Closing his eyes and clenching his teeth, Chris had to force himself not to punch his man in the face.

Of course he was right, a plan was better than just storming into the village and shooting everything that moved. But the thought of you being stuck underground somewhere drove him crazy.

The thought of never seeing you again made him nervous. If he was completely honest with himself, he was even afraid of it.

Swallowing hard, he took a deep breath. He had to calm himself. Better, he had to forget about his feelings and treat you like he would treat any other.

"Good.", he nodded, though he didn't feel like waiting. "Prepare everything. I'll get into position, you make sure this plant disappears. After that, I'll go on alone until I find a suitable place for a base. You follow when I say so."

The sniper nodded.

"If you insist.", he turned away and grabbed his chest. "Did you hear it, guys?"

Cracking noises sounded, then someone laughed.

"Of course.", that was the woman's voice. "But it's unusual for Alpha to be this persistent. This one must be his favourite toy."

Chris didn't remember her real name, but she always called herself Tundra on missions. Sometimes she was a little annoying, she talked too much for his liking and she was loud too.

But when he thought about it, she and you had a lot of similarities. Except that with you, it didn't bother him.

"I'd watch out what you say, Tundra.", Chris said in a warning tone. "If you are in trouble one day, I might leave you to die."

The woman snorted, obviously mocking him.

"I would never get into such trouble.", she bragged, clearly mocking the situation. "And even if so, I could make it out on my own. Seriously, if this is the best soldier from your past, you must have exaggerated. I've never seen someone this incapable."

Chris's jaw tightened. The look on his face darkened and suddenly he felt like screaming.

"Careful, Tundra.", he warned. "Do not test my patience."

"Or what?"

"Or I might won't need you no more."

She let out a sound of displeasure.

"Is that a threat?"

"That's a promise."

"Oh? You don't need me? I didn't know you are able to make it through this hellhole all by yourself. I want to remind you that I will be the first and only one around here that can provide proper medical care. Your little friend will die without my help for sure."

Close to exploding, Chris clenched his teeth so tightly that a crunching sound could be heard. Anger boiled up inside him and the expression on his face suggested that he was about to kill someone. Or better, he was close to killing her.

But he restrained himself.

He had to.

He had to continue to keep his cool, no emotions, no fears were allowed to get a hold of him. He was a simple soldier, calm, deliberate and ready to make his sacrifices.

His heart skipped a beat at the thought. He had already made many sacrifices, too many even, more than a simple man could offer to the world. Each time he had survived, somehow and usually not without being scarred. But he had managed to live on.

And yet.

This time it was different. The thought that his screwed up fate wanted to have you as an offering filled him with nothing but ice cold fear. He didn't want to think about it. And still, his head forced the possibility into him.

And he hated it. He hated and feared it like nothing he had ever felt.

His eyes twitched as Chris shook off the thought. With a shaky breath, he massaged the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

Then he sighed deeply. His voice trembled.

"Arguing won't help us.", he said, hoping none of his people could hear how close he was to collapsing. "We'll do it as planned. I'll go to the village and take care of the monsters. You guys clear the way, then I can find out more. Ethan and Rose are still the top priority. But if it's possible, I'll get (Y/N) back."

Tundra snorted.

The rest agreed.

"All right!", the team sounded ready, but he knew that Tundra had sown doubts in them.

"Son of a bitch.", he cursed, reaching into his pocket to light a cigarette.

He knew you hated it when he smoked or smelled like smoke.

But at that moment, he couldn't help it.

He needed that cigarette like it was the only thing that could keep him alive.