"Chris.", you said in a soft voice. "Hey, Chris."

You reached out, patting the back of his head gently.

He moved in his seat, threw a gaze over his shoulder and smiled softly. He was wearing glasses, so he had finally accepted that his eyesight was not getting better the older he got.

A slight silver shimmer had spread on his short hair and throughout the beard, but otherwise he looked still as handsome as ever.

"Anything important?", he asked and pulled you onto his lap.

You had to chuckle before pressing a kiss onto his warm lips.

It was strange, he looked so well rested, at peace even.
You had never seen him this happy. Nor unburdened.

"No, I just...", you looked at his face for a moment, smiling, before stroking his cheek. "I just wanted to look at my husband."

He snorted and pressed a kiss onto your forehead. His broad chest trembled while doing so.

It was a nice feeling, one that made you feel proud and happy at the same time. You were the reason for his happiness. That thought made your eyes go watery.

"Cheesy, aren't we, Redfield?", he asked in a joking manner.

It felt weird to hear him call you by his last name. And yet, it did not bother you. If it did one thing, it made your heart beat faster and your cheeks glow in a bright read.

"Don't- don't steal my line!", you hit him in a playful manner.

He raised an eyebrow, smirking.

"And what if I do anyways?"

He kissed you again, a bit more demanding this time. He tasted of wine and smelled like autumn. He was different than usual, less rough and gloomy.

But it was fine, he seemed a lot healthier, a lot better, both mentally and physically.

His lips began to cover your neck with kisses, slowly travelling deeper, to the neckline of your shirt. Slowly, he let his tongue travel along the line.

The feeling of his warm tongue felt strangely soothing, almost like a song on your skin that was trying to lure you into a dream form which you would never return.

"Hold your horses, mister, we have a child that is sleeping upstairs.", you whispered into his ear, as he gently bit down on your skin.

He looked up. His blue eyes seemed so unreal, so sparkly and clear. There was no sadness in them, no hint of guilt nor fear. All there was was peace and excitement.

"It will be fine. All we have to do is keep the volume down a bit.", he kissed you again.

His lips felt hot. They tasted a bit like honey, sweet and sticky.

"Rose will notice anyways.", you insisted, but kept on kissing him back. "She's sensitive, don't you know?"

"Of course, she has got that from Mia. But I also know that I haven't given you the proper attention you deserve recently. Let me show you my love. You deserve it."

The look on his face was a soft one. He was almost begging you to accept his proposal.

A soft sigh left your lips.

Lowering your eyes, you examined him for a moment.
Then, again, you had to sigh.

"Shit.", you muttered and tried to slide off his lap.

But Chris reached out and grabbed your wirst.

"What's wrong?", he frowned, concerned.

You pressed your lips together. Your eyes stared at his hand for a moment.

The touch felt real. His warmth felt real.

But it wasn't. And it was no good to pretend it was.

With gentle force, you pulled your hand away and freed yourself from his grip. Immediately, a strange cold filled your body.

Chris smiled in an unsure way.

"(Y/N)?", the way he said your name sounded so bitter sweet.

You had always wished that he would call you this way. Days and nights you had been laying awake, restless, wondering how life would be when he called your name in such a way. Back then, it had been cute daydreams, silly hopes.

But now, it scared you.

"When will it be enough?", you asked, feeling pity for yourself.

He tilted his head, frowning.

"What do you mean? If it's Rose, I'll help you more. I know a child is a big responsibility. And... that she's not ours- No, that's not the problem, I know. If you're tired, I'll do the night shifts. You're better with her during the days. I'm not the best play date for her.", he smiled.

But the sight made you sad. You almost felt depressed seeing him like this.

"That's not it.", you said and looked around the living room.

It was a nice house, with an open kitchen and enough space to host big family functions. Everything looked just the way you had imagined it, the colours, the architecture and the furniture.

Even the man was just like you had dreamed of.

"What is it then?", he reached out to stroke your cheek.

You grabbed his hand in a sudden movement, covering it with both of yours and squeezed it. Tears filled the corners of your eyes.

"This... When will this finally end? When will I stop imagining shit like this?", your voice was shaking and the words tasted bitter. "When will I stop lying to myself? I can't have this. I won't ever have this. I had my chances, not two, not three but hundreds. And I fucked them up. Every single one of them. So tell me, Chris, when will I stop dreaming about the future that I am running away from for years now?"

As you looked at him, the soft smile on his face had disappeared. Instead, the blue of his eyes seemed empty and lifeless. He swallowed thickly, his gaze locked with yours.

Then, he pulled away.

"You're not concerned about that.", he suddenly said. "You just feel responsible."

"For what?"

"Me. My happiness. My well-being. You don't really want this.", he did a gesture, pointing at the house, himself, the entire illusion you were trapped in. "You just want me to be better off. Less depressed, less burdened."

"Is that- is that selfish of me? Am I selfish for wanting you to be happy? You, the only person I have ever felt close to? The only one I have ever... I have ever loved?"

He sighed, smiling in a sad way.

"And that's the issue, (Y/N). When will you finally understand?"

"Understand what?"

Chris raised his hand, gently grabbing your face with both his hands.

"I don't need you to create the perfect world for me. You don't have to protect me from all evils, for me to live a good life. Just... Go this road together with me. By my side. We will be fine. I'll be fine. Together. After all, this is what they say: through health and sickness. Through the good and bad times, I'll vow to be by your side."