Wrapped in silence, you sat in the passenger seat.

Your forehead was pressing against the cold glass of the window, while your eyes followed the landscape, that was running past.

It had been hours since the two of you had decided to leave this hellhole. Maybe even days.

You had not counted, there was no watch nearby and the cellphones were broken. But if you had to take a guess, you would have said that a day had passed.

The sun was already up in the sky again, as you had awoken from your second nap.

Again, there had been no dreams, no nightmares, no fear nor suffering. Just emptiness. After all this time of being afraid to fall asleep, it was a welcome change. However, you had to admit that those hours of rest were also lonely hours.

Empty hours.

Now, they did no longer serve to remember, but to rest. And rest only.

"Up again?", Chris asked.

His eyes looked heavy.

The way he was sitting in the drivers seat told you that he was tired and was in desperate need of a good nap as well.
You gifted him a smile.

"Let's stop somewhere.", you said.

He raised an eyebrow in an amused manner.

"In the middle of nowhere?", he asked, blinking a few times.

"Let me drive then. You're tired."

He nodded, sighing.

"I am. But... don't get mad, but I do not trust that thing that is keeping you alive. I'd prefer to get used to it before... handing important task to you."

You had to snort.

"Oh, what? You think I'd turn insane in a second and crash the car?"

He just shrugged, visibly looking for the right words to say.

"I mean... yes? I don't know? Look, you do get that I have a point, right?", he smiled in an awkward way.

Playfully annoyed, you rolled your eyes.

"Yeah, sure, whatever, Redfield.", you complained. "Just keep driving and fall asleep. You are the safest way to see god right now."

As you turned your head to show him how offended you were, you caught a glimpse at the back seat. Something caught your attention.

There was a small thing laying back there. It was round, made of metal and had a red light blinking at the top.

At first, you didn't recognise it. But after taking a second glance at it, your mouth opened in surprise. Hastily, you shut it again, before a suspicious sound could escape.

Your eyes jumped back to the road, just in time to notice a sign.

"There!", you pointed towards the sign. "A hostel. How does some rest and a shower sound to you? Want to take a break?"

For a moment, he hesitated.

"That sounds like the beginning of a horror movie.", he admitted with a smirk.

You bumped his shoulder.

"Come on, Chris. You're almost falling asleep."

He rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I guess I could take a nap."

As Chris pulled into the snowy parking lot of the hostel, your heat was beating like crazy. Your mouth was dry and somehow, you were nervous.

Your eyes jumped into the backseat. It was still there.

He didn't notice you staring.

With a testing gaze, Chris opened his door and jumped out the car.

"Let me take a look first.", he said. "If it's nasty, I'd prefer to sleep in the car."

You laughed, although it felt wrong.

"I'll be waiting for you.", you kissed his lips softly.

Somehow, this one tasted bigger sweet. Almost like a goodbye.

Your eyes followed his movements, how he walked across the parking lot, over to the small building that was attached to a gas station and a small shop.

You waited, until he disappeared inside.

Then, you turned your attention to the backseat.

Slowly, very slowly, your hand reached for it. The tip of your fingers could feel it already, the metal, the trigger.
It was just one movement. One little push and it would all be over.

Tears filled your eyes, but you refused to cry. You just sat there, in the passenger seat, frozen like a statue. A thousand thoughts chased through your head.

What a terrible person you were.

Why did you had to do this again?

Why did you had to act according to your liking, your wishes and your stubbornness?

Why couldn't you just accept this chance?

Your eyes wandered through the gas station, over the roof, that was covered in a thick layer of snow, to the parking lot that was barely visible and to the strangely looking tourist, that spoke in a language that you couldn't understand.

Your fingers twitched.

So close.

Just... a little push.

Your thoughts were screaming at you.

But suddenly, everything inside your head fell silent.

All you could see was him. His blue eyes. That messy beard and the short brown hair that you loved to let your fingers run through.

The little silver strands, that were slowly growing bigger. Even the wrinkles and the tired look on his face.

Everything about him made you want to cry. The look on his face.

Why?

Why did he have to look at you this way?

He smiled softly, trying his hardest to look okay.

He wasn't, you knew.

But he tried. God, he tried to hard. Because in the end, he was okay.

Not at the moment.

Not for this week.

Not for the following days.

Maybe not for the next few months.

But for the rest of his life, one day, he would be okay again. This sadness, the feeling of guilt, was only temporary. Because in the end he knew he had made the right decision.

He didn't regret it. He just mourned. Just this moment.
Your fingers wrapped around the thing, this stupid thing and pulled it into your lap.

You smiled at him, but it was a sad smile. A smile that wanted to say an apology.

At first, he was confused and frowned. Then, his eyes widened and he seemed to realised. A shaky breath left his lips. A white cloud rose into the air.

"(Y/N).", he whispered. "Please. Don't."

A tear dripped down your face.

"I'm sorry.", you said. "I hope, one day, in another life, you can forgive me. I love you, Chris Redfield. I always have. And always will. My stupid, little idiot. God, I love you so much."

With a firm grip, you pressed the trigger of the remote igniter.

In the distance, far, far away, the sound of bombs ripped through the air. A wave of fire stretched into the sky and for a moment, the cold of the winter was chased away by heat.

The earth trembled.

You held your breath, whispering a goodbye. Chris's voice echoed inside your ears.

Then, everything fell silent.

"You goddamn bitch.", Chris cursed, ripping the passenger door open. "I'll kill you for scaring me like this!"

With a firm grip, he pulled you into his arms and placed a kiss on your lips.

Shocked, you returned it.

"Forgive me.", you whispered in between kisses.

"No. No, never. You wanted to leave me here. All by myself.", he kissed you again.

You had to chuckle, while tears ran down your face.

"I- forget it. You won't accept that apology anyways."

"You're right, I won't. But maybe I'll forgive you one day. If you stay with me from now on."

Again, he kissed you.

"I will.", you whispered against his lips. "I promise."