The sun is not up, yet my head is in a toilet and my knees are against the cold tile bathroom floor. I don't know if the puke in my hair or the puke in general is making me cry harder. I wait for a whole minute before I know it's safe to rest my head on the side of the toilet seat and cry. The hand that was on the floor reaches up and flushes the toilet and my face scrunches up at the smell. Another wave hits me and I pray my parents don't wake up at all the noise. A whole month in and I thought morning sickness would be gone. I also thought it would be just morning sickness so I can add that to the list of lies about pregnancy.

I wait ten minutes before I decide its safe enough to get in the shower. I wasn't going back to sleep after everything that happened so why not stay in the shower for a few hours. The water runs through my hair that I almost didn't wash because I didn't want to comb it out and re-grease it. My hair glistens in the mirror as a wipe away the smoke. Even with the mirror clear of fog it's still hard to find me in it.

...

It's only a quarter past noon but this day has been long enough for me. I can't tell my parents yet so I can't be home with them during the day. Most of the time I'm with Ms.Christi but today she has to go out of town and that means since ten this morning I've been sitting with the pack Luna as she talks to me like we're long lost friends.

"I remember when I had just turned 16. I was new to the pack, wasn't even born in Florida. I was lucky I came when I did. I was 16, unmated and a female while Alpha Jack was turning 18, which meant it was time for his first sniffing ceremony. I was so nervous by the time he got to me five girls had already been pulled out of line. I was the final person he pulled out of line and all I could think was that I had to go against five other girls who all could've been his potential mate. Something in me told me I had to be his and like magic he chose me and I became his mate. I guess we both got the honor of being his chosen," she tells me and for once I actually listen to her story.

"Why do you think he chose you?" I ask, leaning forward a bit.

Luna Miranda is beautiful which could've been a reason but so are most potential Luna's. She was new, unheard of and wasn't even from the area so why would he choose her against girls that he could've known his whole life and if not known at least knew they had been born and raised into his pack. Alpha Jack seemed to be bad at making decisions.

"I think just about everyone asked that same question, even me," she starts, "He could've even chosen your mother but he still picked me."

"My mom?" I exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah. In the end, it was me against her. Everyone wanted him to choose her, at some point I even think she wanted to be Luna too. That's probably why you're a potential Luna. Usually with an Alpha there are two main choices for his Luna. The one that will be the best Luna for him and his pack will have a stronger scent but that wasn't the case with Jack. We all just assumed the reason he had more potential mates was because he wasn't originally meant to be an Alpha," she tells me and it's like I'm going through a forbidden history lesson.

I didn't know my mother could've been the Alpha's mate. I had always just assumed her and my father had always loved each other. The whole Alpha thing had disappeared to the back of my mind as if I had never even heard it. Alpha Jack's father was the little brother of Luperca's pack true Alpha. But the true Alpha had only ever had one child and it was a little girl that had disappeared. It drove the Luna insane and she never had another child which lead to the pack being passed onto Alpha Jack's father and then to Alpha Jack.

"It all had worked out after a while," Miranda continued, "A few months after Jack chose me your mother had to participate in Jack's brother, your father's, mating ceremony. He chose her and at first it was a bit rocky but they grew to love each other and everyone accepted me as the soon to be Luna," Miranda finishes.

"We're you and my mo-" I start to ask but then I'm interrupted.

"Luna the Alpha requests your presence inside of his office," Someone says through the door.

The Luna is quick to her feet and I stay seated unsure of what to do. I don't want to see him again.

"Come now, Jamie," Miranda instructed.

She leaves the room but my feet stay planted to the floor. My heart's pounding in my head, thumping away at any thoughts that were present. I can't think let alone actually see him again. I wouldn't follow her, even if she tried to force me. With that decided I could move again.

The sun is bright in the sky. It's one of those hot Florida days where your skin burns by just walking outside. I want to take a walk or shift but being pregnant I couldn't do that. With nowhere to go and nothing to do I decide to go home and sleep.

...

I wasn't even three hours into my nap when the Alpha sent an announcement through the pack link. We are all to meet him in the court yard immediately. My feet carry me out the door without my own permission, I should have known it was a command.

I meet my father at the edge of the group. We walk to the front of the crowd together since he is the pack Gamma. It's still hot although the sun has started setting. I grab my dad's hand hoping for some type of comfort as the Alpha walks onto stage. He's followed by four people. The Luna stops at his side. From behind her three people step forward each radiating power. The first one is a tall woman. Luna Miranda was average height with bone straight brown hair and big bright electric blue eyes. No one could lie and say that our Luna wasn't stunning but the other Luna was another story.

Her complexion was tanner than my Luna. This Luna's hair was in wild lose curls that tumbled down her back. Her face is sprinkled in freckles and her eyes are a hazel green. She's at the most half a foot taller than Miranda coming to her own husband's shoulder. Her husband was on the paler side. He was tall and had a very defined jaw structure. Even with him sporting the rough and rugged look you could see his sharp facial features. Lastly, the other man had slightly lighter brown skin than my own. He was completely bald but managed to still have a beard.

"I'd like to introduce the Alpha, Beta, and Luna of Sheer Shadow. This is Alpha Michael and his mate Amber," he says pointing to the couple, "And this is their Beta Earnest."

The crowd responds with applause but my hands do not react the same way. They squeeze my father's hand harder as I feel someone's eyes land on me. I don't want to look up for fear that they are his eyes watching me.

"He still controls you if you fear him so much you can't look him in the eyes," I tell myself and force my eyes up. 

My gaze connects with worried hazel green eyes and my stomach flips so hard I must hold back vomit. I'm fleeing before I even realize it. I push through the crowd. Someone calls my name but I don't know them and that makes me go faster. I can't breathe, I can't think my heads spinning so fast.

SHE KNOWS!

Those two words pop in and out of my head repeatedly alerting an alarm that pulses through my whole body. She shouldn't know. No one was supposed to know yet, no one other than the small group of people. If she knew then other people knew too and that meant that this was all real. I wasn't imagining it or having one of those vivid dreams where I couldn't tell what was real or fake in the morning and that scared me more than anything.

"Deep breathes. In through the nose, out through the mouth," a voice says softly inside my head.

"Nadia?" I ask.

"You've got to calm down and find somewhere to go," she tells me and I follow what she says.

Most times all Nadia, my inner wolf, did was grunt or growl inside of my head. It was weird hearing her speak to me. I always imagined her to sound like me but instead she sounds like an animal who had been taught to talk. Her voice came out rough and gruff but it was still feminine.

I listen to her advice and take a deep breath. There weren't many places for me to go. My aunt wasn't home, Ms.Christi was gone and my mother is at work. I decide on the park which is always empty this late in the day.

Our park didn't have a playground. What we called a park was a large clearing surrounded by trees. On the other side of the pack was something similar but with small sheds for weapons, that's where training's held.

Luperca pack was big but not the biggest. We originally were stationed in New Orleans, Louisiana but after Hurricane Katrina they relocated to south Florida. We had almost 400 people in our pack although most of them didn't stay this close the center of pack grounds. Our pack covered a lot of land and most people made money from farming. Surrounding us were three other packs; Sheer Shadow, Waning Tide, and Crescent Dust. We had strong warriors and that's what pushed us up in the ranks. The pack tended to lean onto older customs especially with the mating and training.

I heave a sigh, even with the moon out it was still hot and humid. My brain is completely scattered. I'm so tired my eyes ache from me trying to force them open. The day replays in my head like a vine doing its loops.

My mom could've been Luna.

Luna Miranda isn't from here.

Luna Amber Knows.

I'm Pregnant.

Everything felt different now that someone outside of the group knew. It felt real, it was real and yet it was still a slap to the face when I thought about it now.

I was pregnant. I was forced to have a baby by a man I thought was supposed to protect me. My whole world would come crashing down in less than a week when all the packs arrived and the Alpha would make the announcement. In less than a week I would be 17 and I knew I was not ready for any of this to happen. 

(Rewritten 11/19/16)