You've chosen to watch fireworks! If this isn't the decision you wanted, feel free to return to Chapter 114!
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The story you are about to read was written by Diana, TheMechanicsOfLiving

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When Logan wrote the word "Fireworks" on the paper, he could've meant one of two things. The ordinary person, and perhaps Logan himself, would say that he was wondering how to make fireworks, which is a difficult process, and set them off.

The first part in creating fireworks would be the lift charge. In most cases, this "lift charge" is gunpowder, which stays at the bottom of the fireworks with the fuse (assuming you're making a typical one and not a fountain or Catherine wheel). Gunpowder is made from three different chemical substances, potassium nitrate, charcoal, and sulfur. The potassium nitrate decomposes to provide the oxygen for the reaction. The charcoal makes carbon, which is used for fuel, and the sulfur is because it gives off heat at relatively low temperatures. This gives the gunpowder more energy and lowers the temperature needed to set off the charcoal. These three items have to be mixed, moistened, and ground thoroughly to get a good reactive mixture.

The second part would be the "stars", which are pellets of metal salts used to create the colors. Metal salts are a mixture of metals and nonmetals that are bonded together. The metals in the metal salt would be strontium, calcium, sodium, barium, copper, and aluminum, which would release different amounts of heat energy.The nonmetals would most likely be either chlorine or nitrogen (with an attached chlorine to both) and work to create more oxygen during the explosion and enhance its color. Therefore, strontium carbonate can make red fireworks, calcium chloride can make orange fireworks, sodium nitrate can make yellow fireworks, barium chloride can make green fireworks, and copper chloride can make blue fireworks. A mixture of strontium carbonate and copper chloride will make purple fireworks while aluminum, magnesium, titanium powder, and/or antimony sulfide can make white fireworks.

The heat energy created by the lift charge explosion (and the time-delayed fuse explosion from the container holding the stars) pushes electrons away from the nucleus of the compound and they use the exact amount of heat energy used in the form of light energy to get back to their normal places. This creates the colors in the sky.

But that wasn't what Logan meant by "Fireworks". He meant the emotion "Fireworks", which doesn't really make sense until one feels it for the first time. As you can obviously recall, gunpowder is made from three specific components.

Potassium Nitrate.

It started with a dream. One he hadn't had in years.

It started at the beach, waves rolling along the yellow sand as Logan stood there, blinded by the sunlight in his eyes. He tried shading his eyes with his hand and allowing for his eyes to adjust to the bright light, but the light shone through causing him to just give up and close his eyes entirely, if he would just wake up. But something pulled at him to open his eyes not more, pulling at his hands until he couldn't help but comply.

The light was a little dimmer now, allowing him to see the people running from the shore, past him and into the ocean waves. Some people carried surfboards or floats or canoes even, but they were always going in together. He watched a couple pull their boat to shore and load their dog inside as another voice by it was so hard to pull him along all of a sudden and bespoke besides him.

"You ready to go?" Patton said, catching one of his hands and tracing tiny stars into the flat of his palm. Patton looked like they were going on a long trip, trading his usual outfit for a more comfortable on, his khaki shorts stuffed to the brim with candy and his grey shirt having the words "Just keep swimming" in bold, white letters.

"Go where?" he questioned the other boy, but Patton didn't quite respond. Only pulled him closer and closer to the oncoming waves.

"But Patton, we don't have anything to use to get through the water. The ocean is something too deep and dangerous for anyone to swim," he argued, pulling Patton to a stop and pointing to another couple carrying a pair of yellow surfboards.

"We don't need it, see?" Patton said in response, running into the water. His blue sneakers got a little wet due to the lapping waves, but otherwise he stayed perfectly dry, "You just have to believe in it enough,"

It didn't seem like sound logic, but Logan decided to test it out wading into the waves. If his feet were to have been on the ground, he would've been up to his knees. However, his feet remained firmly on top of the waves, the waves churning against his feet as Patton took his hand and led him further away from shore. He could hear voices gasping and talking about the pair as they walked through the waves, causing them to stumble a little bit, but that only made Patton held his hand tighter as they got closer and closer to their unknown destination.

But just as they were reaching the break of the waves to the island, a voice spoke out in his mind:

"You believe in Patton, but you do not believe in you,"

The revelation caused made his head reel as he tripped on a rather large wave, making Patton hold on even tighter as he led him towards their destination, seeming to understand subconsciously that Logan was tiring. But with every terrible thought that occurred, the waves got deeper and deeper under his feet. It wasn't until Logan got thrown backwards by a wave hitting his stomach, that Patton understood why it was so hard to pull him along and began to try and pull him up

"Lo!" Patton screamed as his head went underwater. He curled his hands both of Logan's and pulled with all his strength, "You have to believe, Lo!"

Logan woke up with a gasp, hands gripping the sheets and gasping for oxygen even though he knew one's breathing slows when they are asleep.

Charcoal.

"Say you love me every waking moment," Patton hummed as he put the dishes in the dishwasher, "Turn my head with talk of summertime."

"Say you need me with you now and always," he continued with a sleepy grin, "Promise me that all you say is true,"

"That's all I ask of you," Logan couldn't help speaking softly as he slipped past Patton and went to grab a box of cereal from the cabinet behind him. Patton gasped in surprise and turned around, not expecting it to be Logan that would give the next lyric so freely. He didn't pay it no mind, making sure not to look at Patton until he had grabbed a cereal bowl from another cabinet and placed both items on the table.

The dream still held a space in his mind, and he was unsure how to interpret it, if it needed to be interpreted.

"My high school did The Phantom of the Opera as their play my junior year of high school," Logan said, answering the unasked question as he poured his Cheerios into a small, plastic bowl, "After hearing it so many times, the words tend to get stuck in your head,"

"My school did Phantom too! What did you do?" Patton asked as he placed the last plates into the wash and squatted down to grab the soap.

"I was the stage manager," Logan answered as he walked back to the fridge to get the milk, "though I also accounted for the part of the dramaturg on the chance something needed to be explained or rewritten with the permission of the direction,"

"That's so cool!" Patton gasped, clapping his hands to his face, "Did you ever rewrite something?"

"No," Logan said shortly, pouring his milk into the bowl before putting it away again. Patton huffed in response before turning on the dishwasher and making his way around the counter space to the table.

"Well, I think whatever you would've written would be wonderful," Patton said decisively as he grabbed his coat, "Do you need anything from the store?"

"We need more paper towels," Logan responded after taking a bite of his cereal, "and it you could buy some bananas that would be wonderful,"

Patton nodded before grabbing his lanyard and making his way out the door, typing out the things that Logan had said as he left.

"Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Let me lead you from your solitude," Logan said softly, twirling the fork in his hand, "Say you need me with you, here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too,"

"Patton, that's all I ask of you," he whispered as he lifted his head to look at the clock on the wall. It was a few seconds before his brain registered what he had said and he placed his hands on his temples, trying to put out a possible stress headache before it started.

"What is wrong with me?" he muttered under his breath.

Sulfur.

The door closed with a slam as Roman walked inside, practically steaming from the head to toe as he walked towards his bedroom door and slammed it closed. Logan watched the scene with wide eyes before placing his bookmark in his book, closing it, and setting it down on the little table besides the green couch.

He had never seen someone feel things so intensely and he wasn't sure what to do about it.

A part of him was telling him to stay away, wait until Roman had cooled off before texting Patton and telling him what had happened, but his body was already moving on instinct. Walking over to the counter and placing a couple of chocolate chip cookies on a plate as a peace offering before walking over to Roman's door and knocking.

He stood there for a moment, surprised by the muffled words of "Come in" from the other side as his plan had finished coming to fruition and realizing what he had done instead, but he pushed the door open and walked inside.

"I hear that chocolate has comforting qualities," he said as he walked over to Roman's bed and placed a plate of cookies on the desk before moving away from him once more and sitting on a white bean bag on the other side of the room by the door. Roman gave him a half-smile in response before continuing to scroll down on his phone, assumingly looking at more text messages.

Roman's room was always bright with a gold chandelier serving as the centerpiece of the room. The bed was covered in gold, sparkly fabric, winding its way up each legs of the bed and creating a little golden bow on top. It had a multitude of gold and white pillows, and white sheets (though if it got cold enough, he knew Roman had a red comforter tucked away in his closet. The floor was covered with laminated pages from antique book (besides the fluffy white rug in front of his bed) that had been thrown away by a librarian who has long since passed away and the wall to the right of him had a modular painting of a dragon covering its 5 canvases.

"What happened?" Logan asked him somewhat nervously. He had never been good at initiating emotional conversations.

"He just broke up with me," Roman sighed before placing his phone on the white nightstand by his bed and snuggling deeper on his bed, "over text. He didn't even give me a good reason why,"

"How long have you guys been dating?" Logan asked, confused. He hadn't brought anyone over before, at least while he was around.

"A month," Roman's voice responded, muffled by the sheer number of pillows. Logan frowned in response. Surely you couldn't create a deep connection with someone after only that long.

"It's like he was scared that he was going to fall in love with me, that I was going to hurt him. I understand that falling in love isn't something you can control but choosing to love in spite of everything and everyone else is always a choice," Roman said, shrugging his shoulders as he reached for a cookie, " I guess that wasn't a risk that he was willing to take so he hurt me first,"

"But then what happens if you're wrong and it didn't work out?" Logan said, confused.

"Then I would try again," Roman said, looking up at him.

Logan froze once he got back into his room, shallowing the panic taking up space in his throat before making his way towards his desk. He didn't want to go through this again.

The "stars" would most definitely be made of copper sulfate, the color the pair of them share. Especially the day that Patton came home with a blue tie for him to go to the gravestone with.

Even all these things set into place for their very own fireworks, neither one decided to light the fuse. Because standing too close to a firework is dangerous. It's much easier to set it off and run away from the scene, lest one of them gets caught in the crossfire.

But it seemed that one of them was ready to set it off.

Patton sat quietly by the campfire, kicking his legs towards it as he drank the root beer float, they had made a little bit earlier when they went inside to get bug spray. They had voted for Logan to be the host for some "Roommate Bonding", but they had yet to do something completely together as Patton and Logan had made the campfire while Virgil and Roman did...

He didn't know what VIrgil and Roman were doing.

Patton seemed to be balancing on a fine line of whether to keep something to himself or say it, but Logan keep silent. He didn't want to disturb his process.

"Why didn't you ask me out?" Patton said quietly, looking over at Logan. Logan looked up, surprised at the question as Roman ran towards the lake in the background. Patton knew there was a type of vulnerability attained by asking this question, but Patton didn't dare to waiver now. He had spent too much time hiding the questions in his head.

"I know you liked me, so why didn't you?" he continued, leaning down to pet Sasha's head with one hand as Logan's brain malfunctioned. Emotions were never something that came easy to the other boy and it was clearly showing now, especially since he had time to prepare for the encounter they would make.

Logan clenched his jaw and opened and closed his fists a couple of times, trying to get rid of the excess energy flowing through his body. There was no point in denying something that he didn't feel the need to hide.

"Patton, in high school, we were running on two separate frequencies. I didn't think I could be the person you deserved. So, I thought it was better to just let you go," Logan respond slowly, running his fingers over his khakis as his mind slipped deeper into his thought process.

"Well, what did you want?" Patton asked, standing up from his place on the log and walking to sit beside them.

"I wanted you to be able to completely immerse in the life you had been given with the person that you chose, and I want you to be happy," he said pensively. A dull throb of pain flared across his chest and up his throat, but it wasn't as terrible as it had been when it first started, which made him feel a little better.

Patton sighed a little in response, rubbing his cheeks with his hands to try and stop the tears from falling. Neither one was quite sure when they started, but Logan reacted fast enough, grabbing a small pack of tissues from his pocket and producing them for Patton to use. He laughed in response (perhaps more bitterly than Logan would've liked) and took them gently from his grasp, making sure not to touch him as he blew his nose and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I really appreciate you watching out for me, but Lo," Patton started, sniffing a couple of times as a hardened tone came to his voice, "by not telling me, you took my choice away from me."

Logan flinched a little at the harshness of his tone, forcing Patton back into Logan's shoes. Patton, noticing the abrupt action, slumped a little in his seat before reaching over and grabbing Logan's hand. Logan watched intently as Patton squeezed his hand three times, a silent apology as he continued his thought process.

"I can't even imagine the type of burden that gave you," he continued, looking up at him, " How painful it must be to fall, knowing there is no person at the bottom to catch you and then try to stitch yourself back together again,"

"It was hard," Logan admitted, shuffling awkwardly in place as he stared back at Patton, "but I don't regret doing it,"

"Why?" Patton asked, tilting his head much like the dog besides him.

"Because I wasn't ready," Logan said simply, picking up the tongs and poking a stick back into the fire to avoid looking Patton in the eye, "I can't help but think I would've treated you horribly if we had been together during that time. I needed- I need to figure out how my body can function on its own before I can even think about it combining it's ecosystem with another."

"The thing I regret the most is how long I allowed the withdraw to last," Logan said, "because I thought I deserved it for falling in the first place."

"I think that's enough vulnerability for today," he said, pulling his coat tighter around his body and zipping it up, "Make sure you put out the fire before you guys leave,"

"You should never be ashamed of being vulnerable, Lo. Vulnerability is not something that many people feel they can do," Patton said softly as little specks of light coated the air around them, "but thank you for telling me,"

Logan nodded in response, not trusting his voice as he moved to stand. He moved, but Patton made that choice for him by pulling him into a hug.

It was awkward, to say the least, because Logan wasn't quite sure what to do with it. He ended up just patting his back a couple of times before resuming the space between them. Patton grabbed Sasha's collar as Logan went to open the gate, making sure she didn't get away as Logan walked out. He closed the door with a clicking sound before looking at Patton through the metal wire.

"Hey Patton," Logan asked softly, "If I had tried to ask you out, do you think you would've said yes?"

"I don't really know," Patton responded, moving Sasha away from the fire before letting her go, "We were both different people back then,"

"What about now?"

"If you believed you were ready, I would've said yes," Patton replied, looking him straight in the eye as he said it. Logan nodded, clutching the strap of his backpack before shuffling away from him and towards his car. Patton watched him drive away, waving at the broken-down black car before splashing water on the fire and running out to join the rest of the group.

In the car's rear view mirror, Logan watched fireworks paste Patton's silhouette in the night sky.

"You can't just sit there and put everybody's life ahead of yours and think that counts as love" - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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Would you like to try again?

Yes - Go to Chapter 1

No - Go to Chapter 2