My newest story 'Mafia's Beautiful Silence' is updated again, check that out too. I am sure you'll like it.

Scarlet's P.O.V:

There is a feeling of curiosity in everyone, just like how we all own insecurities, but when curiosity becomes a need—a kind of hunger for truth that can kill our soul, destroy every ounce of stability we own in our life, it is called hunger for the Truth. And when someone hesitates, we usually think, that lack of confidence could be a reason. But when someone hesitates while telling the truth, it is not just an insecurity which is basically a false fear within our own soul, it becomes a fear which is well aware of the fact that we are wrong.

And when Caleb was hesitating in telling the name of the woman, who kind of killed my mum, I knew that his fear wasn't just a fear or an insecurity, it was a fear that he owned which was yelling at him about the fact that whatever he was going to spill, was a bitter, dangerous and very sinful act. 

"Why the hell are you stuttering? Don't you dare hide the name! Don't you fucking dare!" I exclaimed in anger and frustration, he took my words as if they were paining him like daggers continuously being twisted in his heart. Or maybe, more than my words, it was the name that was paining him.

"My mother-" His head was down, his eyes were closed, he was slightly shaking his head. The guilt, the fear, the disappointment—his one word was dipped into that.

My world literally stopped when he said that, I mean, it was a shock, a shock which I never expected, a shock which was going to hurt me my entire life as Katerina, the woman who seemed to love her son, husband and me too the most was the woman who was a killer.

He looked up to me, I was just looking at him, no emotions were flooding in me, there was nothing, just emptiness and brokenness. Caleb again took my hand, kept it under his protective hold, but it didn't make me feel anything as well other than emptiness. "Katerina, my mum, she was your mum's friend. Lived beside your mum's apartment."

"You are telling the truth?" I don't know why, but I just felt the need to ask again, to confirm. It was to assure myself, it was to satisfy myself. Katerina, I never thought that woman who was becoming a kind of role model to me was the killer.

"I am," Caleb whispered.

Silence took over us for few moments, my heart seemed to beat faster and faster but still I felt as if my heart was stopped and suffocated. I gulped, looked completely boggled. But then tears, who vowed to never leave my life for once came back, streaming down to my face. That cry wasn't ugly, loud or impulsive.

That cry was silent. No sobs, no moans of pain. That represented how empty I felt. 

"My mum was engaged with my dad, she wasn't married and she lived alone. My dad, my mum, and your dad were good friends. Very good friends, she was poor just like your mum, my dad was better but nothing what he is now. He was also kind of broke. She knew about everything just like how my dad knew, but as she also knew your dad's craziness, she stayed quiet. She played the part in the sick game too, which killed your mum-" He continued, I didn't mind, I didn't want him to stop, I wanted to listen everything because the worst of the worst part had already been heard. I got to know about the killers.

I interfered even though I was just silently crying, not in mood to have a talk, even a break down or kind of didn't feel the need to scream to show how shattered I was. "Don't blame on my dads craziness only, if he was the one who beat her, used her, lied to her and whatever, your dad was the one who didn't do anything about that. And your mum, she was even worse, she played in the part of being a total bitch. She hid the fucking truth, she lied to herself, how can she even live with that. She never let the thing go to police, she stopped her from getting justice. That bloody clinic staff, your dad, my dad, your mum. They are the killers and you still blame my dad's craziness only."

I said it all, never once I thought how much hurt he was going to be about my words for his mother, but she deserved it. She not only deserved my curses, but also a painful death. 

"I am not blaming your father only, I know what my parents did. Well, let me complete, she took her to hospital, gave you who was one month old to someone to take care for a while, I don't know. In hospital, doctors knew that it was severe abuse, which was not just done once but almost regularly, you dad shut their mouth with money and threats and all. My parents only saw the brutal murder which was killing your mother for years and they did nothing. Yes, those greedy clinic people, your dad and my parents are the killers. You can hate them, curse them, It is your right." His voice was low, laced with pain. I could guess how much hurt he himself was, how much disappointed he was after reliving the story and telling about his parents' proud tale of murder.

But still, not for even Caleb, I didn't sympathize with either John or Katerina. 

I left his hand, brought my knees to my chest and put my chin on them, didn't wipe those tears away, just silently let all the pain go away with them, wishing that maybe the pain would really go away. 

But instead, it felt even more. I felt the affliction even more. The way I was screaming before the name, I lost all the strength to express my pain in that form. My entire life was built on a lie, my existence was basically an abomination for my dad, my mum was my dad's toy. How cruel my life could be? The revelation, the words, the truth— It all took the life away from inside of me too, those bloody killers killed me too.

I didn't know if the next morning, I could have the courage to wake up with a hope that a new day was going to bring a new life to me. I didn't know if the strong, tolerant and sacrificing Scarlet I was before would stay the same after all of that.

I didn't know, I stopped responding to my own self. It might seem very over dramatic or overreaction for you, but It was something that took away the glimmer of liveliness I had, away. Very far away from me, I didn't know if there was any kind of emotion that could give me a reason to live again, to get over the truth, to stay strong. I didn't know if there was any person who could motivate me to let the past go, or let the fate of the killers be decided by God himself. I didn't even know anything.

"Scarlet?"

"Scarlet?" 

The voice, shaky yet strong one, familiar yet so unfamiliar one called out for me repeatedly and earned my instant respond which was, "Huh"

I woke up from my thoughts, noticed how Caleb's hands had a swift grasp on my cheeks, he was trying to wake me up by calling out for me. His touch was the only thing that felt true and genuine that moment. I could trust that but at the same time, I could not.

As soon as he knew that I was myself, not engulfed in my thoughts which were as silent as my cry, he started to say, tried to comfort me, it wasn't working though. "Hey, if you want to yell, just yell, cry more,then do cry more. Don't hold back your emotions inside you, it will continue to hurt you more and more until it completely owns you. You have to forget past, because no one can do anything about it, not you, not I, not anyone. But God can, let them be punished by him and don't punish yourself instead." 

I immediately put my hands on his which were cupping my cheeks and then shrugged them off, without any word, I hopped off the bed, and yelled at him, "Do you think it is easy? Do you want me to yell, hear, now I am yelling! It is not easy to forget it, Caleb. It is not easy to let it all be handled by God, I thought too but it is not. I just got to know that my mum was abused and killed, my whole life was a lie, that everything I have been living till now was an illusion. And still you expect me to fucking forget it, move on? Are you being serious??" My voice, which was being gone for too long, came back. I groaned, I yelled. I broke the vase that was sitting on the side table. I wanted to rip my hair off my head as I was clutching them tightly, while shaking my head. 

I was strolling from one corner of my room to another, continued to mumble things, cursing at those killers, trying my best to hold myself against my deadly wishes for them. Caleb on the other hand was sat on the bed, his head was down, his shoulders slumped, his fingers running over his temples. He was in deep thought.

"I don't want to feel this, I feel so horrible, so hurt. I don't want to feel this." Kept crying, that time my sobs were audible, my screams were yelling in need of something comforting, "Please make it stop, please," my eyes must have been red and puffy, my face must have lost all of its color, I could feel my lips tremble, my back hurt when I crouched down against it. 

"Scarlet?"

He spoke up, my name from his mouth felt so tender, as if just like me, my name would also break into million pieces if not dealt with care. He took some small, hesitated steps towards me, my name in small whispers continued to spill out of his mouth. 

As soon as he reached to me, he sat on the floor, in front of me. "Scarlet," he murmured, his hand lifted up, curled into fist as if he was holding back then loosened up and then he put it on my knees that were stuck to my chest, "Scarlet, I asked you to cry out and let your pain out but instead you're feeling it."

"It is increasing, I do not want to feel this Caleb, do something. I just feel so..." In between my sobs, I was speaking to him, as the volcano of emotions burst inside me and all of my emotions scattered around, I didn't really know how to feel, what to feel, what to not feel, I held his hand that were on my knees and kept him close, "I feel so...so dead. I don't want to feel this, It is getting exhausted, first dad beating me then the sudden marriage, then this truth, I don't know how to take all of this, Caleb. I am no-"

"Ssh," he let go of his hand from my grip, and put a finger on my lip, then his hand was inside my hair as rubbed the back of my head, trying his best to comfort me. He then put my head on his chest, "Just calm down, stop, please." 

"I can't do it, Caleb. I am sorry, I am taking all of your time as you probably has to...go somewhere, I know you must be  exhausted by me, I...I..."

"Scarlet, you yelled, you cried, now would you stop feeling the pain? At least try, I know I sound insensitive, I don't know how to deal with people crying so just stop feeling the pain, I guess that would help. I know it is easier said than done, but try. Distract yourself."  He rubbed my back, we were still on the floor, me on his embrace, my hands crawled to his back, tightly clutching his shirt, my tears must have been staining his shirt as well, I don't know but I just didn't want to let him go. Even though I was feeling that maybe he took me as unwanted as my dad, my step-mum took me, he already hated the fact that we were married, but the thought of him leaving me was haunting. At least I couldn't bear it on that moment.

But I knew that one day, he would have to leave, I would have to leave him, so why just keep him close in an hour of need and build a connection?

So I just get away from his embrace, even though my need for yelling, breaking things and cursing went away for a moment, my tears never stopped, they continued to pour down my face, I guess they were going to stop when I'd have none to shed. I stood up from the floor, so did he, I distanced myself from him, he took his steps towards me, I kept my eyes lowered and didn't dare to look into him. I knew he looked disappointed though.

But I gulped, put my hand in between us, signaling him to stay away. 

He again took steps towards me, while I walked backwards, "What the hell are you doing, Scarlet?" He groans, his voice was having a glint of frustration.

"Just stay away," I responded, kept looking at other things except him.

"And what did I do? Apart from being an utter asshole as an husband? But at least, right now, as a...uh..." He kept walking up to me, and I kept taking my steps back, my eyes were on my right side, I was not ready or maybe I just didn't want to drown in his eyes, melt in his embrace, I just didn't want him to support me.

Because I knew how weak I was, as I had an habit of making people closer to my heart if they showed concern for me. As no one ever really did, i never got close to anyone but as Caleb was trying to comfort me, as his eyes were filled with concern, as his touch and embrace were having a lot of peace in them, I just didn't want to keep him that close. I didn't want to build a kind of intimacy from which I could never recover.

Because I knew, I knew how intense he was, and how needy I was of him at that moment. I couldn't let myself loose, I couldn't bear the loss of him when all of those six months crap would over so I just decide to do let him stay the way he wanted—distanced from me. 

As his statement came back to me, and I understood what he was saying, I spoke up, immediately, cutting him off, "Right now as a what, Caleb Pierce? As a what you are trying to comfort me? As a husband who was probably an...asshole to me? Or as a son of the killers of my mum? Or as a stranger? But I don't know, nowadays strangers don't really do any good to you, or as a friend? But as far as I know, you and me aren't friends."

My tone was strict, firm, hard, metal like, it was so rude. But I wanted to do that for my own good. I had to do that. I had to keep him at arm distance. I had to and I did.

Still my eyes couldn't manage to look at him and decipher the look he was having. But instead of some replies, Caleb was being Caleb again, pushing me to the wall that was behind me, he kept me stuck to that and was hovering in front of me as a tower. His both hands pressed against the wall on each of my side and I felt caged.

"You were crying, hurt, yelling and now what the hell happened to you all of sudden?" That time, his tone was hard and rude, his words were feeling like pins, he was yelling. But I kept myself numb, unresponsive towards his statements and questions, he mumbled, "Scarlet," That time, it was low, very low. 

And again for few more times, he called out for my name, slowly and tenderly. But I kept not looking at him, and to my surprise, I felt distracted, as I started to distance myself from him for a reason, the pain I was feeling lessened, as if Caleb and my relationship was the only thing that could end the suffering. But instead gave a new suffering. 

"Scarlet, I am talking to you," he said again, his voice wasn't commanding but as I was being obstinate, he got angrier, he then shouted, "Scarlet! Look at me, what the hell? Look at me!!" 

As I looked at him, his forehead had a frown but that time it was due to anger on me not due to my pain, his face was hard, harder than ever, and his jaw was clenched. His eyes, the storm in them was on its full swing as I really got into his nerves, I spoke up anyways ignoring how much concerned he was or how much frustrated and livid he was, "Why should I look at you? Why should I seek comfort with you? Because at the end of day, you are an asshole husband, a person who is neither a friend nor a stranger, a person who is son of those two sinners.   So why should I look at you, why should I let you comfort me? As at the end of the day, we have no relation, we will leave each other someday so why even build anything between us, I can deal with my pain alone, I can suffer, you shouldn't be concerned."           

"Are you human?" He asked with gritted teeth, I continued to peer at him in disbelief and my lips were apart and I juggled with the simplest answer.

I answered while my eyes were widened in shock, "Kidding me right? Yes!"

"Am I human? Aside from the fact that you might think I as a husband am such a wild animal." He asked again, the stupid questions were really making me petulant.

"What the hell, Caleb? Of course. What the fuck do you want to prove?" I pressed my small hands on his built chest and pushed him away, he didn't flinch, I slapped him on his chest so that he could bail me out of his cage, but he didn't even move so didn't his strong ice cold gaze which was stuck on me. 

He snapped, "So don't we have a relationship of humanity? If we both are surprisingly humans, Mrs Pierce? Out of respect for that relationship, Mrs Pierce I was trying to help! But I don't why all of that depressing leaving and having no relationship thoughts came to your mind, but it is good, at least you stopped crying, which is good. That was what I wanted, Mrs Pierce, as I slightly respect the humanity factor." 

"Don't call me yours when I am not yours, don't create an illusion of me being Mrs Pierce when I am not. Don't give me humanity crap when we both know, as a husband, you won't respect that. I know all you're doing right now is just out of sympathy. I don't want it." I snapped back, we continued to lock our eyes in a trance where our emotions were shattered and we didn't know what to do with them, "And just like how I stopped crying and feeling that pain right now, I can do it again, I can distract myself, I will move on, I will learn to live with this. And without your help, Mr Pierce."                                         

"I don't know what just happened to you? I am not habitual of moody people, I was concerned for you. But I don't know from where the hell all of that crap you brought." He kept his hands away from the wall, gave me space and step backwards. I stepped back to other side as well, gaining my composure, trying my best to think less about all the details he gave me about my mum's life and last day.

The zephyr around us was thick, irritating yet so questioning, as if even the air held questions for us, and we both knew that we both had so many questions for each other and yet had no answers. I stood still at my point, bemused and roiled and a bit livid as well. The thoughts, the flashes of some memories that my mum faced came back to me in a picture which could be true. The picture of my dad giving her false hopes, beating her, taunting her, mistreating her emotionally—they all just came in a slideshow in my mind.

And the shooting pain in my heart started again, my eyes lost all of its flames that were there when I was arguing with Caleb, they got replaced by swimming tears in them, I squeezed my eyes shut, looked down again, body continued to trembled. Every vein and bone of my body hurt again like it was hurting, getting damaged and breaking an hour ago when I didn't know anything. 

I opened my eyes, tried to suck all of the tears in but instead, they burned my eyes, and fell down. I looked up and saw Caleb, standing stiffly on his spot too, an arm distance from me. Silent, calm yet so loud and messed up. I looked away instantly, before I could melt against his him, I turned around too.

But he held my wrist and twirled me around which made me pulled towards him, his hand had a firm grip on mine and I twisted my hand under his grip, it didn't get loosened instead it pained me a bit more. 

I felt him getting closer and I stared up at his eyes, "No matter how much you say or I say, it is also the truth that you are mine as we took vows and you are Mrs Pierce and I am not making you forcefully. It is not an illusion, Scarlet. You are my wife, and if you think whatever humanity thing I said was crap then keep that in mind, as a husband, I can and should and will help you. Not because I sympathize with you, not because you're my duty, not because I love you or anything...it is just, I am concerned for you. And If I feel the need to comfort you, I will, even though as you know I don't like this marriage. But still, there is a relationship that we can't deny which gives me right to comfort you no matter how much you stop me."             

"Caleb you should not..."

"And we are not building any connection that will hurt us after six months thing, but instead, we have a connection which I am going to utilize by helping you when you need. It is not gonna hurt or anything. So don't give me that crap either," he enunciated, he left my wrist and I wiped my tears, walked up to the bed and sat on my side. I didn't even bother to look up at him.

He was not understanding, he wasn't understanding my fear.

My fear of keeping him that much close that when we'd have to leave, it will break us—if not him then surely me. I couldn't afford to keep him close, let him be concerned for me. I wanted the cold Caleb at that moment, so that I could feel alone and not trust him or...or give him a place in my heart.

As foolish as its sound but when you're hurt, broken and deeply disturbed, and someone gives you a shoulder to cry on, and makes you strong enough to go through the worst phase, then you automatically gets infatuated with that someone. 

And that was what I couldn't afford. Getting infatuated with Caleb, the Caleb who only had concern for me just because we were humans and he had a bit of humanity. He did not understand my need— a girl's fear who never had any comfort from anyone in her entire life, and he didn't understand how much that girl could loose herself in him if he was going to become the first person to do that. 

He was about to get out of the room, but I asked, "Where are you going?" I regretted it the second later though, as I had already told how badly I didn't want him to go away but I had to. But that moment, I couldn't stop myself from stopping him from leaving me.

"You didn't eat, it is not time for breakfast now though so I thought you might need something else, was going to get something. Do you want anything?" He turned around, his face was showing that he was a bit relaxed, well that cold face Caleb could never be truly relaxed as a matter of fact but still. His anger seemed to get vanished. It was relieving to see him a bit soft for me.

"No, go!" I kept a big stone on my heart and said that. 

"Okay, I'll still get something anyways," he mumbled, he turned around again, and then walked downstairs most probably. 
            

Kind of Cliffhanger again, I know that is frustrating but what can I do. HAHAHAHA. 

I hope you liked her mood swings and her fear about Caleb and her, Caleb's wish to help which is kinda new shade for me to write, I enjoyed. What do you think of #Saleb? 

Sorry for the late update, I was sick, since my vacations started, I was sick, I still am. And from tomorrow it ends and I typed a chapter on the last day of my freedom, ironic right? :D