CHAPTER 4

December 2004

Weeks had passed and winter was fast approaching. It was now the beginning of December and flurries were slowly drifting down from the sky like tiny white feathers. Emile had been travelling quite frequently, meeting investors, customers and potential acquirers of the company across the continent. Even when he was in town, he was totally absorbed in his works. The idea of Alena going back to work was inevitably being swept under the carpet for the moment.

This evening, Emile would return from his business trip. He was in Boston for the last two days. His parents would also be joining them for dinner tonight. Though Alena knew that she would be busy all afternoon preparing the feast, she could not help but spent the morning, watching Candy through the one-way mirrored window outside her classroom. Alena could clearly see Candy busily sweeping the floor with those toddler sized sweeper and dust bin, trying hard to clean up the cracker crumbs she dropped on the floor during snack time. This was one of the beauties in this school. Parents could watch their toddlers all morning through this window, learning what the kids were actually doing in the classroom, while their kids were oblivious of their presence.

Alena smiled and marvelled how much had Candy grown from a baby, and then, someone whispered to her.

"Hi! Alena. You're early this morning. Can't get away from the window, eh? How have you been?" It was one of the parents, Nancy. She used to be very petite, but she was very pregnant now.

"Hi! Nancy. I am great. Look at you! What a pretty pregnant woman we have here. When are you due again?"

"March."

"March?" Alena was about to say that she sure looked a bit too big to due in March. But she bit her cheeks and smiled instead.

"Yeah, I know. I looked too big to due in March" Nancy said sheepishly, explaining as in reflex, "I am expecting twins!" Nancy's cheeks were blushing.

"Twins! My Gosh. Congratulations. Do you know if they are boys or girls yet?" Alena exclaimed. She was so happy for her friend.

"A boy and a girl." Nancy's smiled and yes, she was glowing.

"I am so happy for you", Alena hugged her friend tightly and all in a sudden, her emotions swept her under her feet. Her happy tears escaped her eyes. She totally shared the joy of her friend. "You are such a blessed woman. A boy and a girl?! Wow. I am so happy for you."

"Oh! Silly Alena. You are now making me cry", Nancy was also moved by Alena's reaction, "Stop it. Or when Candy sees you in a moment, you're going to frighten her."

Alena laughed a little and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes.

----

After Alena picked up Candy from school moments later, Alena was still very excited about Nancy's news. She was busily preparing dinner in her kitchen. Though she was preparing the feast, her mind was miles away. She kept imagining what it would be like if Candy had a younger sibling, two kids loving each other. It would be a beautiful picture. She always wanted to have two kids, just liked she and her younger sister growing up together. They were very close. But since the conversation she and Emile had just a few weeks ago, she now had doubts. Could she handle two kids with her history in clinical depression? Would they be able to support a family of four with a single income? Who would take care of the kids, if she needed to roll up her sleeves again and returned to the workforce, as suggested by Emile?

She tried to push those doubts and insecurities away. The picture of having two kids was so beautiful that she kept smiling just by thinking about it. Unfortunately, Emile travelled too much lately. There wasn't any opportunity to talk about family planning anyway. Maybe she could causally bring up the topic tonight when Emile was back. Perhaps they could even start working on it too. She smiled a little as these thoughts raced in her head. She looked at the clock and it was already 2:30 in the afternoon, she'd better get on with her work.

"Candy. You want to come help mama washing the broccoli? Grandma and Grandpa are coming for dinner tonight. Come, give mama a hand please." Alena walked to the playroom and she found Candy was playing with her dolls again.

"Yeah! Candy helps mama!" Candy dropped her dolls and ran to Alena.

Alena lifted Candy up and carried her to the kitchen. Alena loved carrying Candy. She knew kids would grow big and the day would soon come when they became too big to be carried.

"What a good helper I have here. Now wash your hands first before we give the broccoli a bath." Alena smiled and put Candy on a stool by the kitchen sink, reached to the soap by the faucet and applied some to Candy's hand.

Asking Candy to help with the vegetable was more of an excuse to keep her companied while Alena worked in the kitchen, though she was not sure who was in more of a need of other's company, Candy or herself? Candy happily splashed the water while she gave the vegetable a bath. When she was done, well, more precisely, when Alena stopped the activity, the kitchen counter was flooded and the floor was wet. Though this activity created more work, Alena thoroughly enjoyed Candy's company.

---

Couple of hours later, after Alena had gave Candy a bath, she was looking forward to Emile's return and the grandparents' arrival. They used to visit fairly frequently, couple of times in a week as they lived just minutes away. However, in the recent weeks, Mark, the grandpa, was not feeling well and they had not visited as often. Today was their first visit since two weeks ago. Candy was eager to see them. They loved Candy dearly and they always had a great time together.

"Is grandpa here yet?" said Candy while peeking through the curtains and checking on the driveway every few seconds.

"They are coming, Candy. You sure miss them, don't you?"

"I want to play with grandpa and grandma. I want to show them how I feed Cici." Candy had already set up her tea set in the playroom and her dolls were neatly seated on the toddler sized chairs.

"Look! Car! Grandpa's here! Mama, they are here!" Candy's eyes beamed and she was so excited.

Alena went to the door before they even got off the car. She held the door ajar, waiting for them to come in.

"Hi, mom, hi dad!" Alena addressed Emile's parents.

"Hi Alena. HI CANDY!" Mark returned his greeting and was thrilled to see his granddaughter.

"Grandpa!" Candy ran to Mark and jumped onto him, with her little arms circled around his neck. Mark bent forward to embrace his precious Candy. Perhaps Candy might have hugged Mark too tightly, he coughed a little, as if he was choked.

"O Careful, sweetie," grandma sounded concerned. Alena heard the nervousness in Rhonda's, the grandma, voice.

"Be gentle, Candy," Alena gently removed Candy from Mark, but she was confused with Rhonda's reaction. How odd? They always loved carrying and hugging Candy. Why was Rhonda so concerned about this welcoming embrace from Candy?

"You are a big girl now. You are too heavy for grandpa to carry." Alena was trying to convinced Candy, as well as herself. The reaction from Rhonda was just so, not the usual.

"No big deal! Come to grandpa. I missed you so much. Give me a hug!" Mark ignored everyone's reactions. He could only see Candy right now. He lowered himself and hugged Candy tightly.

"Come to the tea party, grandpa. Cici is waiting for us." Candy dragged Mark into the playroom and was so proud to show him what she had set up.

"Is everything alright, mom?" Alena causally asked Rhonda, as she led her into the kitchen.

"Hmm...it's okay." Rhonda briefly replied and returned a smile, which did not quite reach her eyes.

"How's dad? He was complaining about his hip joint last time I saw you. Teaching too many social dance classes, I supposed? Did the physiotherapist help?" Alena got a cup from the cupboard, preparing some hot tea for Rhonda.

"Well, not really. He still complained about the hip joint occasionally. I keep telling him to stop teaching the classes, but you know him, such an addict in social dance. Every time when the music is on, he just won't stop. Of course, he won't listen to me and give up the classes," Rhonda sighed and carefully sipped the tea, "the physiotherapist taught him some muscle toning exercise but they don't seem to help at all. Perhaps it's just old age."

"Oh don't be silly mom. Dad still has not celebrated his sixtieth birthday yet. Old age is far from him." Alena smiled, trying to lighten the mood. She could tell that something was nagging Rhonda.

"I wish I can say the same. He has not been sleeping well lately. He doesn't seem to have a cold or flu, but he's been coughing, not being able to sleep soundly." Rhonda gradually let out what was bugging her in the last couple of weeks.

"Did he consult the doctor? You want me to come with you? My mornings are open." Alena suggested.

"It's alright. We are going to see Doctor Stewart next Monday. His annual check is due anyway." Rhonda slowly walked towards the playroom, showing no interest to continue the conversation. Perhaps talking about Mark's health had been too stressful for her, she wanted to join Mark and Candy and enjoyed their granddaughter.

Just as Alena was about to set the table for dinner, she heard the humming sound of the garage door being opened. She rushed to the door which was connected to the garage, and swung it open. She was so excited to see Emile again.

"Welcome back!" Alena greeted Emile with such enthusiasm that she sounded like a young girl greeting her love one who just returned from war.

Emile dragged the luggage behind him and walked towards the house. He returned a smiled. A smile looked exactly like the one which Rhonda was showing Alena just moments ago, a smile which did not quite reach his eyes.

Alena quickly reached out to him and circled her arms around his waist, thinking he must have been tired.

"I missed you." Alena lifted her head towards Emile, expecting a kiss from him.

"Me too." Emile gently stroked her face with his fingers and gave her a peck on her lips, not a passionate kiss that Alena was expecting.

Emile continued to drag his luggage in the house and walked pass Alena.

"What's with him?" Alena thought, she was so baffled by his reactions to her greeting.

"Oh no, the meetings must have gone wrong." Alena assumed the worst.

Alena quietly followed his footsteps, hoping she could offer him any support, or comfort, or even encouragement, whatever could make him smile genuinely again.

"Hi mom, hi dad," Alena heard Emile greeted his parents. Not much energy in his voice.

"DADDY!" It was Candy who greeted her daddy with the most unconditional love.

"Candy!" Emile dropped his luggage beside him and opened his arms for his daughter. His smile was genuine, and his voice was full of warmth.

"Daddy, I missed you," Candy innocent eyes looked right into Emile's soul, "you have to give me three goodnight kisses tonight, 'cause you didn't do it yesterday, and the day before," she pouted.

No matter what was bothering Emile just moments ago, he could never deny his baby's love. The baby was innocent to all the adult problems. Her young heart was sensitive and needed to be coddled.

"Sure. How about five goodnight kisses? You know, five is more than three!" Emile never ceased any opportunities to teach Candy something academic.

Candy giggled and skipped back to the playroom, resuming her tea party with her dolls. Meanwhile, Alena was happy at least Candy managed to inject some happiness into Emile, though she envied Candy was the one who received his opened arms.

Alena quickly picked up the luggage and dragged it to their bedroom upstairs.

"How are you, dad? Still teaching the dance classes lately? Any slow learners in your class you want to tell me about?" Emile turned to his parents and casually asked.

Mark's focus was still on Candy, so he briefly answered, "same old, same old. Your mother is the one who keeps complaining here. Always bug me to give up teaching the classes. What am I supposed to do then? I need something to do after working all day. Come, Candy, can grandpa have a cup of tea too?" Mark was so absorbed in playing with Candy that he quickly resumed the play. He enjoyed her company very much.

Emile looked at his mother, and just like Alena, saw the worries on Rhonda's face. He quietly walked towards her who was sitting by the couch, just by the entrance of the playroom.

"Are you alright, mom? You looked tired" Emile sat beside her and asked in a low and quiet voice.

"Oh don't listen to her, she always worries too much." Before Rhonda could say anything, Mark already answered Emile's question.

"So she looks tired because she worries too much? Worries about what, Dad?" Emile chuckled. He found it funny that Mark obviously did not want Rhonda to say much about what her problem was, but not knowingly, he already let the cat out of the bag. She was worried about him.

"Nothing! She has nothing to worry," Mark stubbornly replied.

Rhonda's eyes were fully of concerns and Emile knew they were about Mark. Rhonda sighed a little and told Emile about Mark's health.

"You want me to come with you on your check up, dad?" Emile asked. Though he was not too concerned, but he felt he needed to give his parents the support, thus, offered to be there with them.

"I told you not to worry. It's just another annual check up." Mark was apparently annoyed by this conversation. He walked closer to Candy and fed the dolls as instructed by Candy.

"Okay, as you say so." Emile reluctantly agreed. Then he turned to Rhonda, "call me and tell me if the Doctor has anything to say." Rhonda nodded.

-----

The atmosphere was not very comfortable at the dinner. Rhonda had been quiet and Emile was not much of a talker either. It was only Mark who was constantly chatting with Candy, while Alena tried hard to get any conversation going with the other two adults. Alena was glad that dinner was finally over. Mark and Rhonda kissed Candy goodnight and returned to their house. Alena quickly prepared Candy for bed, while Emile cleared the table and loaded the dishes into the dishwasher.

"Goodnight Candy" Alena kissed on her forehead, followed by five kisses from Emile. They gently shut the door and walked towards their own bedroom.

Emile booted up his laptop while sitting on his bed. He was about to start working again. Alena recognized his "working in bed" set up and sighed a little. He probably would not be interested in family planning tonight, Alena thought. She was very disappointed that she could not even share Nancy's joy with Emile tonight. He obviously did not had a good day, and being content as the only child himself, the idea of having another child would not even reach his radar zone.

She walked into the ensuite bathroom and prepared herself for the night. After she did her facial, took a bubble bath and washed her hair, it was already a little more than an hour later. Emile was still very engrossed into his work. His fingers was drumming on the laptop very quickly, probably replying emails, or writing up some sort of plans.

"So, how did it go in Boston? Did the meetings go well?" Alena walked up to the bed and open the drawer in the bedside table. She grabbed a tube of hand cream and squirted out a small patch. She began massaging her hands while she peeked at the laptop screen. Emile was replying a very long email.

Just as Emile finished typing the last line, he double checked what he had written, before hitting the send button. He let out a sigh while his eyes were still on the laptop screen. "The meetings were useful. At least we found out more on what the investors were thinking, though the meetings with the potential acquirers were flops." Emile put his laptop aside, without shutting it down, however. He wrapped his arms around Alena's shoulder and stroked her arm in an up-down motion.

Alena recognized by putting the laptop aside without shutting it down, Emile only planned to give her a few moments, half an hour at most. He would return to his work afterwards. She was totally disappointed that they would not be sharing a cuddly night.

"You want to tell me more about the meetings?" Alena looked up to Emile. Though she could not be a loving wife tonight, perhaps she could be a supportive and understanding partner?

"Maybe tomorrow? I still need to answer a few more emails from Ryan and Marcus. We need to put our heads together first thing tomorrow morning. You want me to give you a back massage before you sleep?" Emile did not want to talk about the meetings. Tonight was not the right time to poke her brain. He needed the time to digest what had happened in the last two days.

"That will be great. My back is hurting so much. I sure have missed your massaging hands for the last two nights. Before you do that, I am getting something to drink from downstairs, do you want anything?" Alena offered as she walked towards the bedroom door and reached to the knob.

"I'd have a glass of water, if you don't mind," Emile answered and quietly thanked God for giving him an understanding wife. She did not push on the topic, and gave him the space to think alone.

Alena walked down to the kitchen. She opened the pantry, hoping to get some chocolate she was craving. She looked and looked but then realized there was not any more chocolate. She shook her head. She could not even indulge herself in a mouthful of chocolate tonight. How strange? No one would share the joy she experienced in the morning, even the chocolate had escaped from her. There should have been a chocolate cake to celebrate with Nancy, but apparently, she could not share her joy.

She poured a glass of water and poured it down her throat, as if it would help to quench her thirst in chocolate. She then pour out another glass of water, and walked up the stairs, back to her room.

Tonight would be a quiet night. No one wanted to talked, everyone had their worries. Everyone was deep in their thoughts.