CHAPTER 12

June 2006

Emile could not believe such a reputable airline could mess up so badly.  He only wanted to fly home from Las Vegas, which should have been a few hours of flight.  But a few mechanical problems in the aircraft followed by a few human errors in the airline crew, he found himself still sitting inside an aircraft on the runway, waiting to take off from Chicago O’Hara airport, ten hours after he left Las Vegas.

Lately, he had been traveling far more than usual.  Just couple of weeks ago, he presented his latest innovations in JavaOne, a very popular tech conference in San Francisco.  Early last week, he met with one of the world most prestigious entertainment companies in Florida, helping the sales team to close the deal.   Just before the weekend, he went to Silicon Valley and met with a couple other clients with Pierre.  And yesterday, he finished another mobile technology conference in Las Vegas.  

Yesterday seemed so long ago.  He was supposed to be home now!  "Oh please!  Just fix all the problems and take off, stupid aircraft!"  He had stuck in this seat, all buckled up, on this runway for more than an hour now.  He was very frustrated by this adventure he had in the last ten hours. He started off in Las Vegas, supposed to take a connecting flight in Denver, but ended up in San Francisco.  The crew then told him that he needed to catch a connecting flight in Los Angeles and then after a couple hours of waiting in the airport, he was told to go to Chicago.  Although the crew did handle it professionally throughout the fiasco, it was still very frustrating.  He needed something to distract him.  He looked around and everyone sitting around was reading something. Some were reading a book, some were reading a stack of paper, probably some sort of office document, and some were reading the newspaper distributed by the airline crew earlier. But he did not have anything to read. He could not even boot up his laptop as the plane was about to take off. He looked at the airline magazine which was neatly placed in the seat pocket in front of him.  He did not want to read it anymore. He could almost recite the whole thing, after reading the different copies, but the same issue on the last three aircrafts he flew on.  

He closed his eyes.  Perhaps he could catch some rest.  But he could not.  Something was bugging him since he left the office a few days ago.  It was the fund raising effort.  In the beginning of the process, he was always informed about the progress. He was asked to revise the presentations numerous times based on the feedback from the prospective investors. He was totally aware of what was going on until last few weeks. Ryan and Marcus were hiding something from him and that, he was sure.  Just days before he left for this trip to Las Vegas, Ryan and Marcus had been meeting with Jim, the Chief Financial Officer, very frequently.  But Emile was not offered any update or progress of the effort.  And when he asked about the progress, they looked very uncomfortable with his inquiry as if they did not want to tell him anything.  He tried to convince himself that the meetings they had with Jim might just be number discussions, in which they needed the Chief Financial Officer rather than the Chief Technical Officer.  But he was not convinced.  His instinct was telling him something was suspicious.  As Alena described it, a storm was forming and he better put on his rain coat.  Well heck, he had no rain coat to fend it if it were to come.

He took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.  He no longer had any energy to play these mind games with them.  He had two very young kids and a dying father.  His dying father! He had not seen him for a few days now and he missed him very much. Business travels never bothered him before. But as Mark's life was coming to the end, he wished he could be in town a lot more often.  Dr. Chan had already suggested that he should be admitted into Palliative Care and all treatment was ceased.  How much more time would he still have with him?  This thought almost suffocated Emile right there.  He desperately needed something to take his mind off all these problems.  He pulled out his cell phone and played a few games that his team was working on for the clients.  

After a few games, these problems were still lurking in the fringes of his mind. He shut down the games and mindlessly playing the cell phone in his hand.  He wished he could read something inspirational so that he could quiet down the disturbing thoughts and find the inner peace he sought.  Too bad, there was not any bible app, nor devotional materials on his Java cell phone.  If he had his palm pilot with him, he could at least read the bible installed on the device.  Perhaps he should develop his own reading app for the Java phones.  This idea seemed quite interesting.  A reading app?  Reading what?  What would people like to read on their cell phones?  Book publishers probably would be a difficult nut to crack because they would worry about piracy, control of distribution or whatever worries they had.  What about blogs?  Well, there were RSS readers already and there would be no use for such reading application for Java phones.  The idea was still very raw but he was fascinated already.  He began to mentally sketch out different use cases, type of users, market needs and a few different possible ways to implement it.   If he would ever start another venture, maybe he should pursue this idea. This idea turned out to be such a great distraction for such a boring flying adventure that he found himself stuck in.

By the time he got home.  Everyone was already asleep.  He could not believe it took him fourteen hours to come back from Las Vegas.  He quietly walked into the ensuite bathroom and took a shower.  Something smelled like strawberry in the shower stall and it smelled nice.  He dried himself, changed into a new set of pyjamas and walked back to the bedroom.  He looked at the setup in the bedroom and sighed.  Instead of his comfortable bed, he went to the futon on the floor and lied down.

In the last few months, Lily had grown from an infant into a baby.  Her daily routine was more predictable, but she still could not sleep through the night yet.  Decided to help Lily getting into a habit of sleeping a long stretch at night, Alena opted for the co-sleeping arrangement so that she and Lily could rest properly.  This arrangement at least made it easy for the night feedings.  Unfortunately for Emile, this arrangement meant Alena was not so accessible any more.  He dared not to share the same bed with Alena and Lily.  Having heard so many accidents happened with the co-sleeping arrangements, he did not want to risk squishing the baby in his deep sleep.  But he still wanted to be close to his wife.  Therefore, he chose to sleep on a futon set up just by their bed.  He did not want to sleep in another room.  Sharing the same room with Alena meant more than just being closer to her.  He needed to be included in their lives as a reminder of what belonged to him.

Tonight was one of those lonely nights when he wanted his bed badly.  He wished he could gather Alena next to him.  It always comforted him by just holding her.  But he could neither reach to her nor snuggle close now.  He rolled onto his side on the futon and looked up to their bed.  Alena was sleeping.  She was facing the baby with her back facing him. In the dark, he could only see her silhouette.  Her arm rose up and down, in sync with her breathing rhythm.  His fingers ached to run along her arm, touching the soft and supple skin.  He wished he could bury his face in her hair, and kissing behind her ear.  What was the strawberry smell?  Would her pillow carry the same scent?  Was it her new shampoo or new body wash that carried the scent?  He lifted his head up a bit and looked at the digital clock on her bedside table.  It was already twelve thirty in the morning.  Lily should be waking any minute for her feeding.  He rolled onto his back looking up to the ceiling.  What was the point to fall asleep now?  He might as well wait for this round of feeding.  Perhaps he could even help a bit if Lily needed her diaper changed.   He closed his eyes and waited for her first sign of waking.  

Minutes later, he heard her tiny cry.  He waited patiently and wondered if she would fall back to sleep, or really needed a feeding.  He was not really certain if he wanted her falling back to sleep or waking Alena.  Although the sooner she slept through the night meant the sooner he could have his bed back, he was so hoping that he could steal a kiss from Alena while she fed Lily.

Lily's whimpering did not stop and she began to jerk her head around as if she was seeking something, probably her source of food.   Liked there was an alarm going off in her body, Alena opened her sleepy eyes and sat up, trying to tell the time from the digital clock on the bedside table.

"It's a quarter to one." Emile rose from the futon and squat in front of Alena so that he could talk to her at her eye level.

"You're back.  Were you sleeping?" Alena cupped his face with her hand.  Emile urgently grabbed it and kissed her palm.  The sweet gesture brought a smile to Alena.

"No, I was waiting for you to wake up."  Emile pressed his lips on hers with a smothering fire in him, while keeping her hand in his.

Alena smiled a little more as she pulled back and freed her hand.  She rolled over, facing the baby once again.  She lowered her chemise and brought Lily close to her breast.  The baby latched onto her breast and suckled.  Emile drank in the scene.  His worries and frustrations in everything were fully compensated by what he was looking at.  They belonged to him and they loved him.  He conjured up Candy's face too. Yes, as long as they continued loving him, he could deal with everything. He knelt next to their bed and began caressing Alena's bare arm.  He nestled his face in her hair and kissing behind her ear.  It was her new shampoo.  The strong strawberry scent filled his nostrils.  

Minutes later, Lily's suckling slowed down and her lips slacked.  Alena gently slipped a finger at corner of her mouth and released her breast from the suction.  The baby did not stir and drifted back to sleep.  Alena moved slowly away from the baby.  She pulled her chemise back on when it was a good distance from the baby.  Emile was now sitting on the futon and watching Alena. He was not sure if she would go back to sleep or if she would spend a few minutes with him first.

His heart was filled with gratitude when Alena quietly rolled off her bed and came to him.  He gathered her in his arms and held her tight.  

"Need some company?" Alena's voice was deep in sleep.  Though she was really tired and only wished to go back to sleep, she sensed that something was off.  

"I'm having some now."  He kissed her hair and then pulled back just enough to look at her.  The room was so dark that he could only see outline of her face lit up by the dim moonlight seeping through the curtains.

"I only want one more kiss and I'll let you go back to your bed." His lips urgently sought hers and he pulled her close to his body.  He wished that time could just stop now.  Feeling that she needed to declare her love to him, Alena kissed him back with tender passions.  Not the fire burning in dry wood type of kiss, but a kiss fervent enough to make his knees weak.

"I can give you a few more if you want." Alena murmured at the corner of his lips.  "I'll sleep with you till the next feeding." She then laid her head on his pillow on the futon.  With a content sigh, Emile lied beside her and wrapped his arm around her waist.  This night was not so lonely after all.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile.

It was only a few minutes past six in the morning when Lily fussed again. Alena blinked her eyes open and took a peek at Emile. He was still fast asleep with his arm draping across her torso. She carefully eased herself out under his arm and quietly walked to the other side of big bed. She lied beside Lily and pulled her closer to her breast. Lily was very hungry since she only suckled a few minutes before falling back to sleep in her last feeding. Therefore, as soon as she found the bare breast, she suckled hungrily. Alena pressed a kiss on the top of her head, and let her suckle to her heart’s content. Alena closed her eyes, trying to steal another hour of sleep. She would have to face another busy day very soon.

It was seven thirty when both Lily and Alena finally woke up. Though Lily did not sleep a continuous stretch of twelve hours, but if “sleeping through the night” meant sleeping a continuous six-hour stretch, she sure was pretty close to the mark last night. Alena felt quite refreshing too. Though co-sleeping might not be the best arrangement for Emile, it worked for her. She needed the energy for the day because she not only needed to take care of the girls, but she now also worked part-time.

A few of months ago, she met a retiring professor, Dr. Armstrong, who wanted to take on a partner in his marketing research business, which he had been running on the side for many years while he taught in the university. His office was only fifteen minutes from her house.  There were only a few recurring research contracts, nothing big. He wanted to have this new partner to take over all the activities in the company, while he acted as an advisor. Alena was very hesitant with this opportunity initially. She worried that she could not handle the workload with the baby. But there was an unexplainable pull in the opportunity that was urging her to accept. It might have been her curiosity in doing something non-technology related for the first time in her career, or it might have been her worries over the family finance. Whatever the reasons, she agreed to try the partnership on a part-time basis.   She worked mostly out from her home office, except when she needed to meet with the clients or with Dr. Armstrong.  She was hoping the extra income could cover a portion of Julia’s, her nanny, salary.  Today, she had to meet with Dr. Armstrong to go over the reports that she had prepared for the clients.  She had a 2 hour window and that would be the time when Lily had her morning nap.

She got up from the bed and took Lily with her.  She quietly closed the bedroom door, allowing Emile to sleep a little longer.  She crossed the hall and entered into Candy's room.  The morning routine with two kids was not easy, but she managed.  Kids loved to fuss whenever she needed them to cooperate.  At least there was Julia who took care of breakfast and Candy's lunch.  All Alena needed to do was to get Candy ready for school and changed Lily into a clean set of diaper and clothes.    

"Mama, is today Thursday?" Candy asked when Alena helped her with the uniform.  Lily had already changed into a new diaper and a fresh set of clothes.  She was sitting on the floor against a bank of pillows surrounding her, happily sucking the chew toys in her tiny hands.

"Yes.  Today is Thursday." Alena replied as she buttoned up her uniform.

"No, mama, no!"  Candy began to pull the polo shirt over her head.

"Candy!  What are you doing?  We need to go now.  Don't take it off!"  Alena tried to stop Candy from taking off the shirt.

"No, mama.  No.  It's Thursday!"  Candy continued to yank her shirt off Alena's hand.

"Yes, it's Thursday.  What about it?"  Alena gave up this tug of war and looked into Candy's eyes.

"Play day!"  Candy pouted.

That was what the fussing was all about.  It was now June and school would finish next week.  Today was the play day for Candy's class.  They were supposed to dress in civvies instead of uniform.  Alena quickly changed Candy into civvies after another round of tug of war in deciding what to wear.  Jeans, shorts and track pants were on the floor and Candy eventually chose a pair of skort.

Finally, Candy was all set.  Alena drove her to school, leaving Lily with Julia.  She returned shortly after and Emile had already gone to work.  She quickly gave Lily a feeding before meeting Dr. Armstrong in the office.

*

"Good morning John.  How are you this morning?" Alena walked into the office and Dr. Armstrong was already there.

"Good. And you?"

"Not bad.  Just the regular battles with the kids.  You know how it's like."  Alena smiled as she recalled how she forgot about the play day.  Thank God Candy remembered.

"Don't you have a nanny?  I raised three kids and five grandchildren without any help!  You should not be complaining."  John replied with an indifferent look.

"Your kids must be super good then.  You are lucky."  Alena replied with a smile even though she was so offended by his comment.  She was not complaining at all.  What she said was how a mother would usually respond after settling her kids.  It was just an automatic way to express her exhaustion, nothing more.  In her eyes, her kids were the most beautiful and best behaved kids ever.  But what John said, it sounded like she was whiny, ungrateful, and did not know how to utilize the resources that were available to her.  Those were absolutely not how she felt.  She pushed aside her rising temper and tried to behave professionally.

"Well, shall we get started on the report?" Alena pulled out her laptop from her suitcase.

"Do you have to go again just before noon?"  Dr. Armstrong asked and he sure did not sound very pleased.

"Yes. Why?" Alena looked at him, very surprised by this question.  He knew her schedule.  He knew her constraint.  If he needed extra time, he needed to let her know ahead of time.

"Well, I just don't understand why you don't utilize your nanny to the fullest.  You know, people leave their kids in daycare when they are three months old."

"Is there something you need from me today?  I thought we only need to go over the reports."  Alena tried hard to suppress she annoyance.  But she sensed that he had more to say.

"No.  We only need to go over the reports today.  But I just don't understand why you have to limit yourself this way.  You have a nanny and the elder one goes to school full time.  You can easily come here and take over the business.  True. We only have a few recurring contracts, but you can make it much bigger.  Just imagine if you make thirty cold calls every day, in a week, you will have made one hundred and fifty.  In a month you would have make six hundreds.  If one percent of them use our service, that's six additional clients every month.  And there will be seventy two new clients in a year." Dr. Armstrong sure was a scholar in his field, and a very experience researcher, but what he suggested did not sound right to Alena.  He practically was saying Alena should become a telemarketer.

"John, if you want to talk about strategy to expand the business, I suggest we set up another time to talk about it.  Making cold calls certainly is one way to do so, but I think it will be a rather long discussion if we do it now.  I cannot stay longer today.   My baby is not on solid yet and I sure do not have any baby formula at home.  She will need food in two hours and her source of food is here with you.  So can we get started?" Alena sighed a little.  

She certainly understood where he was coming from.  He was retiring and would like to be in his lovely condo in Florida most of the year.  He was hoping that Alena could take over his business full time while he only took on an advisory role.  It would be even better if Alena could further expand his company and grew it beyond a side business, the way he set up years ago.  He was becoming impatient in her progress to become his full time partner.

Dr. Armstrong did not talk about cold calling anymore that morning.  But just before Alena was about to leave the office, he asked, "Can you meet with a client next Thursday?  He was referred to us by Professor Thompson yesterday.  But as you know, I am flying out to Florida this weekend.  Can you go?"

"Hmm...What time?"  Alena asked hesitantly.

"Three pm in downtown."

"Sorry John.  I don't think I can make it.  I have to pick up my elder one from school at three thirty, four o'clock latest.  It's impossible to make it back if I go to a three o'clock meeting in downtown. Can they meet earlier?" Alena bit her lips.

"You cannot have the clients scheduling things around your schedule!  They are the bosses and we need to make sure they are happy." Dr. Armstrong was beyond frustrated now.

"I'll see what I can do, John.  I will let you know.  Call me or email me if you need to reach me."  Alena picked up her belongings and walked out of the office.  Her temper rose almost to the top of her throat as she walked across the parking lot.  Couldn't schedule around her schedule?  But didn't schedule a meeting mean picking a time which worked for everyone? If he was so concerned about that meeting, couldn't he meet before his trip to Florida?  She shook her head as she stepped on the gas pedal.  She only wished it were her who was to fly to Florida next week.

By the time she got home, it was just before noon.  Lily already woke from her morning nap.  Alena quickly took her from Julia and walked into the nursery for a feeding.  Lily was so content to be in Alena's arms.  She suckled hungrily as Alena brought her close to her breast and absently stroke her cheeks.  In this quiet moment, Alena thought seriously about all the things Dr. Armstrong said today.  Was she being inflexible?  Should she just leave Lily in the hands of Julia and Candy with the school system?  Should she restart her career with this partnership?   Did she want to?  She had no clue what she should do.  Ben had not given her any more of those small jobs since she delivered Lily.  Was she destined to take over Dr. Armstrong's business then?  What if Emile were to face more problems in his company, what would she do? She wished she could ask Emile what he thought of this whole opportunity.  

Her mind then drifted back to the night before, recalling how Emile was holding her so tight.  What was he thinking?   Did things go down the spiral in the conference?  How was he feeling this morning?  Since she left him sleeping on the futon this morning, she had not had a chance to speak to him at all.   Was he worried about his father?  Or was it the problems in the office that caused him distress?  She knew that he did not tell her everything.  Too loving was probably his biggest flaw.  He did not want her to worry and would only share his problems when he wanted her opinions.  Perhaps she should bait him with her opinion. Well, she probably would do better if she would bait him with her kiss.  That thought brought a smile to her face.  Yes, that would work, recalling how her kiss rocked him last night.

"Ma'am?" Julia peeked into the nursery through the door that was left ajar.  "Old Mrs. Au is on the phone. She wants to speak with you."

"Thanks, Julia.  I will get it here." She picked up the phone in the nursery with Lily in her arms, still suckling.

"Hi mom.  How are you? Is everything alright?"

"Ah, yes.  Things are alright.  I remember Emile is in town today.  So I just call to see if you all can come for a visit this evening.  Mark is doing quite well today.  I am hoping he can have some time with the girls."  Rhonda started off the call in quite a calm tone.  But her pretence did not even last till she finished the invitation.  Her voice was hoarse in the end and Alena could hear a sob was bubbling up her throat, even over the phone.  

The fact was, when she said Mark was doing well, she meant he was having one of those miraculous days when he could get off the bed and sat up on the couch.  He now spent most of his time in bed.  His chest pain was not very severe and thus, no more morphine injections. But there was still a lot of discomfort and made him moaning in agony most of the time.  His other organs in the body were slowly becoming dysfunctional.  His feet were so swollen that he could not even walk on his own.  No further treatment was administered. No one could delude themselves that he would recover. He was only waiting for the mercy of the Lord, the mercy to spare him from the sick bed and returned to the arms of His Heavenly father. Fortunately, during this difficult time, he had his younger brother Andy around, who came all the way from Hong Kong and stayed with him since a month ago.   Without him, Mark absolutely should be in palliative care. Emile visited him every day whenever he was in town, whereas Alena and the kids could only visit him on those good days when he was well enough to interact a bit with Candy.

"Sure Mom.  I will bring the kids over at six o'clock.  I'll let Emile know.   I will bring over dinner for you and Uncle Andy too.  You like the spring rolls that Julia made last time?" Alena tried to help, even if it was not a lot.  

“Anything will do. No need to trouble Julia if it's too much work."  

"There is no trouble at all.  I will let Julia know.  I will see you later."  Alena hung up the phone and was glad that Rhonda took the offer.  She decided to have Julia prepare a very good dinner for them to enjoy.  Rhonda deserved that at the least.

Rhonda did not suffer any less than Mark in the last year and a half.  Seeing her love one dying killed her also a little day by day. But she was a strong one. Taking care of Mark and making him comfortable was her mission. But when this mission was over, Alena knew how lost it would be for her. Alena knew because she had experienced it herself and saw it in her own mother. The aftermath would have to be handled with care, and it would be Emile yet again to deal with. Rhonda would only confide to Emile, the only son she had.

Alena put down the receiver and picked it up again.  She called Emile in the office.

"Hey, Emile?  It's me."  Alena was still holding Lily in her arms.  Lily was no longer suckling.  She was not very comfortable in this position and began to fidget in Alena's arm.

"Hey." Emile answered.  He was about to head out to lunch with Mason.

"Emm...your mom called.” Alena paused, and tried to shift into a better position so that Lily would not squirm so much in her arms.

"Is everything alright?"  Emile sounded alarmed at once during Alena's pause.  

"Yes, yes.  Everything is alright.  She just invited us to visit tonight." Alena quickly answered trying to calm his panic that was transmitted through the phone lines.  Lily began to whine and started pulling the telephone cord with her tiny hands.  Alena tugged the cord slightly, hoping Lily would let go of it.  But as soon as Lily felt the pull on the cord, she babbled loudly, like protesting.

"I cannot talk to you now.  Just be home early, okay?" Alena tucked the receiver between her ear and shoulder as she lifted her shoulder and tilted her head, then shifted Lily into an upright holding position.

"Okay.  I will be home before six then."  Emile hung up the phone.

As soon as Alena hung up the phone, she went to the kitchen and told Julia the plan.

*******

Since it was early summer, by the time Emile got home, it was still bright. It was more like late afternoon rather than early evening. Emile quickly changed into something more comfortable and drove the family to his parents' place.  Inside the car, Candy was telling him how she much fun she had in the Play Day.  Her excitement during the day was still vibrating inside her tiny body and her little tongue just would not stop to let out all those fun and crazy games she played with her teachers and friends.  Lily, who was sitting in her car seat facing the back, was fascinated with Candy’s talking. Lily decided to join the party and babbled along.

Emile smiled as he glanced at Candy through his rear-view mirror. He would say a few words like, that sounds fun, cool etc., which further encouraged Candy to keep telling him about her day. He turned and looked at Alena in the passenger seat next to him. She was looking out the window. Something was on her mind. She was only half listening.  She chuckled a little when Candy was saying something really funny, but he could tell that something was clouding her thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Emile whispered to her as he reached out his right hand and held her left hand. He gently circled his thumb over the back of her hand.

“Hmm?” She looked at him as if he had just pulled her out from her thoughts.

“Something’s bothering you?” Emile looked keenly into her eyes, still whispering, trying to read into her emotions. She was rather easy to read.

“I’ll tell you later. Hey Candy? So what happened when Mrs. Kingston put the toy chicken on the parachute?” Alena turned her attention to Candy. But she tightened her grip on Emile. He was what she could cling onto, like an anchor, while the boat was rocked in all fronts by the current in the sea.

“She counts one, two, three, and then the chicken just flies up in the sky!” Candy was laughing so happily as she describe the scene, though no one really understood how the toy chicken could fly from a parachute. It baffled Alena as she could not figure out what kind of game the kids were playing. Perhaps she should check with Mrs. Kingston tomorrow.

“We are here.” Emile pulled onto the driveway of his parents’ house. He helped the kids out of the car and walked to the front door. He used his keys to open the door and let Candy in, followed by Alena with Lily in her arms.

“Grandma!” Candy ran to the kitchen and hugged Rhonda tightly.

“Candy my love.” Rhonda hugged her back and lowered herself at Candy’s level.

“I missed you.” Rhonda stroke Candy’s hair lovingly.

“I missed you too, grandma. I had a play day today.” Candy then began telling Rhonda about her exciting day with her eyes twinkling.

“Hi Uncle Andy. How are you?” Emile walked into the foyer and greeted his uncle, who just walked out from Mark’s room and down the stairs to the main floor.

“Hi Uncle Andy.” Alena greeted him as well.

“Hi Alena, Emile. Good to see you. Can I speak with you?” Uncle Andy rested his hand on Emile’s shoulder and guided him into the study just next to staircase.

Alena then carried Lily in her arms and walked into the kitchen.

Sunlight was still shining through the west-facing window in the kitchen. The sky was so blue and there was not a piece of cloud in the sky. The leaves on the tree were dancing in the light breeze. They flickered under the sunlight and this beautiful picture of the nature was captivating. It was full of life.

“Hi Mom. Julia made some spring rolls and chicken wings in soya sauce. She made some vegetable stirred fry too.” She put the food on the countertop. They were neatly packed in the some kitchen glassware and wrapped in a thermo bag.

“Thanks, Alena. Did you eat yet?” Candy was still hugging Rhonda when she stood up and spoke to Alena.

“Candy had dinner already, but not yet for Emile and me. How’s Dad today?” Alena carefully took the dishes of food out from the thermo bag.  

“He was not bad this morning when I called you. But then after feeding him some food this afternoon, he became sick again. He is in bed now.” Rhonda sighed.

“Candy, let’s go see Grandpa.”   Alena was still holding Lily with one of her arms the whole time.  She turned on the tap and washed her freed hand and wiped it dry on her pants. She then held her hand out for Candy. Candy reluctantly reached for her hand.

“Alena.” Rhonda stopped her from going. “He really is not well.”

Alena turned around and saw the sorrow and pain in Rhonda’s eyes. Her eyes were glistering with tears rolling inside. Alena’s heart dropped with a painful thud. Mark was really not well. It rang in her ears.  She lowered herself at Candy’s eye level.

“Candy. You know grandpa is very sick. Right?” She rested her hand on her small back, while holding Lily on her other arm.

“Yes.” Candy nodded her head.

“But he is really sick today. So he may not be able to talk to you properly. You need to be extra gentle with him. You understand?” Alena gave Candy an assuring stroke on her back.

Candy nodded and Alena caught a flicker of fright in those little eyes. Candy was scared to go seeing her Grandpa. She hated going into the dark bedroom as all the curtain were drawn down, allowing Mark to rest whenever he needed.

Alena held her little hand and walked towards the staircase. At the same time, Emile walked out of the study with Uncle Andy. Both men looked so defeated and Alena felt like a hand squeezed around her heart. She looked up to the bedroom just above the staircase. She could not see anything inside the room. Compared to how bright it was outside when sunlight was still shining through the windows on the second floor, the bedroom was dark, horribly dark.

“Let’s go see grandpa.” Emile took Lily from Alena’s arm and led his family up the stairs. Alena grabbed her purse by the staircase and then held Candy’s little hand in hers.  She tried to smile at Candy to relax the mood. But Candy’s nervous eyes were looking into the dark bedroom. She reached her other hand and gripped tightly around Alena’s wrist.

“Dad. We are here to see you.” Emile walked towards Mark, who was lying on his bed. Emile knelt by his bedside. The room was very quiet, except for the wheezing sound coming out from Mark. Every intake of air took effort, and a little bit of life escaped when he exhaled.  Uncle Andy told Emile what happened in the last few days.  Mark was so sick and Uncle Andy worried that he would not last too long.

Mark’s eyes fluttered open. They were not very focus, but his mind was cleared.

“Son.” He reached out his hand to his beloved son. Emile grabbed it and placed it over his heart.   There were no exchange of words but their eyes locked.

“Lily.” Mark turned his head slightly and his eyes landed on the little baby in Emile’s arm. Emile freed his hand and let him reached for Lily.

"A big baby now.” Mark’s gently touched her cheeks. In the dark, he could not see very well. But he felt her chubby cheeks, her tiny nose and small lips.  Mark breathed heavily.

“Dad. Candy’s here too.” Alena nudged Candy towards his bed. “Go.  Candy.  Let grandpa see you.”

Candy walked towards the bed and stopped right next to Emile.

“Candy.” Mark reached out to Candy, trying to hold her hand. “Candy.” He said her name once again with a ring of sweetness, and he smiled a little.

"Grandpa." Candy answered quietly.  She reached out to her grandpa's hand.

"Are you still sick?"  Candy asked innocently, but her voice showed her nervousness.

"Yes." He tightened his grip on her hand and closed his eyes.  He was so weak but he would not let go.

"Dad.  Would you like me to rub your back?" Alena offered.

Mark could only nod his head and released his grip from Candy.  Alena then moved closer to the bed and knelt next to Emile.  She rubbed Mark's back gently, trying to soothe his discomfort.

For a few minutes, the room was very quiet.  No one said a word.  Everyone could only hear the wheezing sound from Mark's windpipe.  The kids began to fuss in this dark room.  Candy walked around the room.  She peeked out the bedroom door and tried to look for Rhonda from the railings of the stairs.  Lily, on the other hand, began to cry.  The room was too dark and she was bored.

"Emile.  Why don't you take the kids down and have dinner with Mom and Uncle Andy.  I will stay here with Dad.  Come back when you are done." Alena continued to rub Mark's back.  

"Okay." Emile reluctantly took Lily and Candy down to the main floor, leaving Alena alone with Mark.  

This setting was so familiar.  It was so much like she was rubbing her own father's back in his final days.

"Would you like me to sing you a song, or read you a bible passage, Dad?"

"Read." Mark answered weakly.

She then reached to the bible in her purse.  She flipped to Psalm 23 and began reading,

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

he refreshes my soul.

He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

She closed the bible and continued rubbing Mark's back.

"Thank you.  For everything."  Mark closed his eyes and sighed heavily.  

"I love you, Dad.  We all love you." Alena's eyes were now filled with tears and her throat clogged.

"I know."  He then waved his hand.  "You go to dinner.  I want to sleep."

"Okay.  I will go now." Alena then walked out of the bedroom and left the door open.  She did not want to close it.  She had the urge to keep that room lit up even it was only from the dimming daylight through the door.

As Alena walked into the kitchen, she noticed through the west-facing window, the sun was setting.  The sky was now a mix color of orange, red and blue.  The leaves on the trees were still dancing in the light breeze.  But no one would see the dancing leaves anymore when night came.  It would be all dark outside.  Things would come to an end.

"Dad wants to sleep." Alena sat next to Emile.

It was a quiet dinner.  Occasionally Uncle Andy would ask about Emile's work.  But in general, they talked very little.

When dinner was over, Mark was still sleeping.

"Let me take you home first and I will come back.  I may stay here tonight.  He seemed to be very weak today."  Emile told Alena after dinner.  He then drove them home and helped Alena with Candy's bedtime routine.

"I will email you if anything happen.  I don't want to ring and wake the kids."  Alena nodded and kissed Emile on his lips before he drove back to his parents.

The night was very quiet.  Alena was feeling very uneasy.  But she finally fell asleep.

The next morning, she woke up to a bright sunny day.  She casted her eyes to the futon on the floor and Emile was not there.  She quietly walked out of the room, leaving Lily on the bed.  She booted up the computer from the standby mode in the study.

There were three new emails from Emile.  She only opened the latest one. There were only two words on the email, "He's gone."

Alena walked into the kitchen and looked out from the window.  It was a very sunny day.  The birds were chirping happily, the leaves on the trees once again were dancing under the sunlight.  Everything was so full of life.

Was this a new beginning, or an end?  It was both.

She closed her eyes and wept.  

"Mark, you will forever in our memory.  But we know we will meet again in the other side of the rainbow.  We will."