December.

It's Jin's birthday, he's officially 19 (korean age). He looks nice today. Not that he doesn't look nice every other day, he's just especially glowing today. It reminds me of when Taehyung said he was handsome like an actor. I dismissed that fact back then, but I do see where he's coming from.

I told him he looked nice, but only once today. Everyone else told him he looked good continuously. Everyone always praised each other. Especially Taehyung and Jin. They're held on a pedestal. The only one who doesn't get praised almost at all is me. Even I compliment the others to try and fit in. Even I hold Taehyung and Jin on a pedestal. They really do seem like theyre better than the rest of us at times.

The best one I've gotten was from Jungkook. He just patted my head and said "You look decent too, Pork-chop". When that was said to me, I knew it really wasn't all too nice, but I couldn't help but feel a little better about myself for just that moment. I felt myself wishing that the feeling compliments left wasn't temporary that day.

The bell rang and each of us went to class. Taehyung and I went to our seats. The others had a different class. I popped my neck and rested my arms on my desk. Taehyung began to talk to me about the plans for Jin's birthday, but my head was pounding. The ringing noise in my ears was so loud it made the world around me silent. I turned towards him and rest my head on my palm. Nodding my head lazily along to whatever he's saying.

I felt sick this morning, but because it's Jin's birthday, I came to school anyways. I was decently functional up until now too. All morning break, I felt fine enough to be here. Now Everything just hit me. I both feel like passing out and puking up last week's dinner. I already did the second one though.

Time felt slow. Eventually, Taehyung began to study silently. As time passed, the room felt warmer and warmer. I'd like to loosen my tie a little, but my arms felt heavy. This is the feeling that Hoseok was referring to the day we met. All my limbs are just so heavy. This feelings started happening about two weeks ago.

I'm not as big as I was before, but I still feel so heavy all the time.

"Park Jimin, wake up! This is the third time this week." I heard one of my teachers call.

I felt my head drop a bit. I forcefully raised my hand to my face and began to wipe my eyes. I went to look over at Taehyung, but his face was blurry at this point.

"Aish, nevermind. Just go to the stand-up desk" She said.

I groggily nodded my head. Taking the notebook that I don't remember getting out and bringing myself to stand. I felt myself grip onto Taehyung's shoulder to even do so.

This random wave of exhaustion is worse than the others. I was able to shake those quickly. This one's nagging me and dragging itself out.

I regained enough strength to make it to the back of the class. The stand up desks for students who sleep often in class. It's to keep them awake.

I shook my head and looked straight at the board. Only, I couldn't read it. No matter how many times I blinked or rubbed my eyes, everything was a blur. My legs began to numb. I hit them weakly a few times. My arms were too heavy to continue.

I fell to the ground. My knees must have given out. Taehyung got out of his seat and came over to me. He went from blurry, to nothing at all.

I opened my eyes to see I was no longer in class. I was in the infirmary. The nurse wasn't in here. The kid in the bed next to me was coughing up a lung. I sighed and shook my head. There was a water pitcher and a cup on the table next to my bed. I reached out for it and poured myself some.

I still felt sluggish. My limbs still felt heavy. Its all disgusting.

A bell rang. I looked over to the clock. It was 4 pm, the normal school day was over now. I ran my fingers through my hair and looked down to see my sneakers beside my feet. I slipped them on and left the room.

My classrooms only one hall above the infirmary. I didn't have the energy to hurry, so I took my time. The students around me all passed by quickly. Unless they're all walking at a normal pace and I'm walking incredibly slow. In that case, they all just passed by.

When I reached my classroom, I saw Taehyung sitting at his desk. He was the only one in the class. He was tapping his fingers boredly, like he was waiting. Surprisingly, none of the other guys were here. I furrowed my brows and went over to him. I smiled at him the best I could, but when he saw me he kept his straight face.

"You know, today was supposed to be Jin's day. Instead, you made it all about you. How could you? You know, we had to carry you to the infirmary. I pulled Jungkook out of class next door because I couldn't pick you up. You could have sprained his back. And, you couldn't be bothered to wake up all day. You made all of us worry instead of having fun." He paused for a second. "At lunch the guys and I were all talking and we think you should stay home tomorrow. We want to have a redo of Jin's birthday, but without the source of the issue."

He stood up and slung his bag around one shoulder.

It took me a second to register what exactly he was scolding me about. I didn't want to pass out in class. I didn't mean to do it today specifically either. I still feel ashamed of myself for this all happening.

"O-oh, ok. I'm sorry, I didn't uh- realize I'd done something so wrong" I said.

"Tsk"

He left the classroom after that. Leaving me here alone. I sat in my desk and stared at it for a moment. My eyes began to well up as my face reddened. I'm so embarrassed.

It seems that all I do anymore is cry.

I pulled my phone from my bag. As soon as I turned it on messages began to flood in. The guys always text me, but I rarely reply.

Namjoon: You ruined Jin's birthday.

Hoseok: It's really not cool to worry us on a day that doesn't even revolve around you.

Jin: How could you? Today was my day. Rather than enjoying it, we were all just freaking out because you had to pass out. Was it on purpose? Why are you so desperate to make things about you?

Jungkook: You ok, chubmin?

I turned my phone off again. Feeling my whole body shake as I cried silently. I laid my head down on the desk. I'll leave once I gather myself.