Trigger warning, as usual.

Your votes and opinions and feelings are very much appreciated 💕

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There's an ache in my hip every step I take. I can't wait to sit down in my seat, I'm so sore. Absolutely everywhere hurts. I don't know whether Jungkook was simply too rough or if my body was just too weak. He massaged my hips for me after we got cleaned up, but I'm still in pain today.

He said he liked me. We talked all night until he went home too. I had a good time after we did it. I couldn't bring myself to laugh or smile. I still couldn't return the feelings he had for me. I only let him sleep with me because he wanted to too, but he was good company for the night.

It's not like I absolutely didn't want to do it either. It's just, I never thought about being with anyone before. I haven't wanted to be close to anyone for a while. I can't even stand myself at this point.

I think though, if he would've confessed to me earlier- I think I would've liked him back. Right now though, right now I think I'm stuck. I feel miserable and I'm not sure I'll ever be ok again. Although, We're kind of a thing now. Maybe that means everything will turn around from here. Maybe the guys will lighten up. Besides, Jungkook is cute. He's really cute.

Way cuter than I could ever be.

As I neared my classroom, I noticed the door was closed. I peered into the window to see Taehyung and Jungkook. Jungkook looked a bit irritated, meanwhile Taehyung looked amused. That's how it normally is. Nothing new today.

I wonder if he told Taehyung he likes me. I wonder if he already knew. I wonder if Jungkook will ask me to be his boyfriend when I step inside. Even in front of Taehyung? He might make fun of the both of us.

I watched Jungkook hand his phone over to the other. He looked reluctant to let it go. Taehyung tugged it from him and lightly shoved him away. Turning away a bit too. Jungkook began to rub his neck. Nervousness taking over his face. He was clearly embarrassed.

His hair was kind of messy. He had a lot of ear piercings too. I liked that he doesn't dress as preppy as the other guys. It suits him, it separates him from them too.

Staring at him like this made me feel uncomfortable. He likes me though, we slept together too. I can look at him like this, but I still feel weird about it.

He was biting his lip. That reminded me of the marks he left on me. I shivered as I felt the way he nibbled and sucked on my skin. It made me feel filthy.

I shifted my attention to the other. I don't want to think about Jungkook. Taehyung was laughing at whatever was on jungkook's phone.

And just like that, Junglook reached out defensively, but Taehyung swatted his hand away. His expression changed as he shot the other a warning glare. Just as quickly, his face lit up with amusement again.

Jungkook told me last night that Taehyung has problems. He said even as a kid Taehyung would play mean games on other kids. He said him and Taehyung grew up as best friends, and the others are mostly just like Taehyung's minions he found along the way.

He said he felt responsible for Taehyung. Like he has to take care of him and watch out for him. That he's afraid that Taehyung might get himself into a lot of trouble one day. He said he tried not to anger him because Taehyung's unpredictable. I already knew that much though.

I looked up at the clock behind me. We still had 20 minutes before people would start swarming into the classroom. When I looked back into the classroom my eyes met Jungkooks.

Sheer panic took over him as as he went to grab his phone. I opened the door and just as I did, My heart sank.

"Now that you're all prepped, let me see you spin around" I heard Jungkook's voice coming from the phone.

At that point Jungkook had snatched the phone from Taehyung. The same words played over again as Taehyung shoved Jungkook onto a desk. The phone fell onto the floor. The crash followed by a shattering sound.

Taehyung only laughed as he picked it up. His eyes met mine as the recording continued to play.

"Morning Jimin. Jungkook was just showing me this video, did you have fun last night? It's too bad, he said he cut all the good parts out" Taehyung spoke over the video.

Jungkook was frozen. His eyes glued to me.

"You're so thin, Jimin... Y-you're beautiful though, always beautiful" the recording played.

Taehyung slowly walked over to me. He showed me the screen as he did. Cracked, but the video was still clear as day for me.

In my room last night. I stood naked, arms hugging myself out of embarrassment to have to show Jungkook my fat disgusting body. He was sitting on the end of my bed. Still clothed. He told me sweet lies as he reached out for my hips.

"I'm not beautiful Jungkook. I'm not thin either" I said in the recording.

Jungkook pulled my body towards him. Running his hands up and down my sides. Watching it felt like reliving it. I felt frozen. I could still feel Jungkook's eyes burning holes into me while I watched.

"You're perfect no matter what... even if you're nothing but bones" he replied.

He leaned forward. Kissing all along my chest. Letting his hands wander all over. My cheeks turned red as I watched myself harden on the video. I feel so filthy. And it was only me. Only I was naked. I was naked and vulnerable and it's all on camera for Taehyung to see.

I remember wondering last night why it took so long for Jungkook to undress, why he did nothing but praise me for so long. I thought maybe since he liked me and since i'm so unhappy with myself- i thought he was trying to flatter me. I can't believe how stupid I am.

"95..." I trailed off. Closing my eyes and putting my hands on his shoulder. "I want to be 95 pounds..." I breathed out.

He was kissing me. Taking me into his hand and pumping me slowly. I remember feeling so weak to his touch then, I'd never been touched like that by someone else. I rarely even touched myself like that, it was the least of my worries.

"Lay down baby"

He let me go and stood up. I watched him as he walked towards the camera.

"What are you doing?" I questioned.

I was so stupid. I saw him go to his phone. How did I not notice? He had his phone propped up against my books. I'm so fucking pathetic.

"I'm turning my phone in silent" He lied.

Then the video ended.

After the video ended, he undressed himself and had his way with me. Marking me. Asking me if this and that was ok. Slowing down when I told him it hurts. Asking if I want to stop, but I said no because he wanted it and it felt satisfying when he was gentle.

How sick.

"So you really did lose weight, huh Jimin? Anorexia looks pretty on you." Taehyung taunted.

I snapped back to reality. Letting last night fade away. My hand subconsciously wiped my under eyes. I was crying. Im hurt. I'm filthy. I'm disgusted by myself and by them.

"I-I hate you... both of you" I spoke softly but shakily.

I cant do this. I can't fucking do any of this. I can't. I want to scream and cry. My heads spinning so fast. It's all mush. I have to go. I can't be here. I can't do this. I can't fucking do this anymore. I regret it.

I hate all of them so fucking much. I hate me.

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Literally how I see Jungkook in the story. Messy hair. Baggy clothes. Not some buff mans. Kinda innocent, but definitely just a follower like the rest of Taehyungs "minions"