I should tell Nikki, she's my best friend after all, and not telling her would make her feel untrustworthy.

And I don't want that.

It's something that's been pricking my heart for sometime now.

RYAN ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND.

Gosh, I feel like getting it off my chest and rubbing it in Jessica's stupid face.

I know Ryan asked me not to say a word to anyone, but I seriously can't help it now.

Especially after what he did TODAY!

This made me wonder if Ryan is worthy of me!

Nikki, Zoey and I were busy shelving books during our LSA period..

Okay, maybe we weren't ACTUALLY shelving books....

But we were on duty!

Ryan strolled into the library with some chic from the cheerleading team, and my heart sank immediately I saw them.

"Hey LSA losers! Can I get a book for Halloween costumes' designs? I need it for ideas on what costume I should wear" The chic said.

Ryan just leaned on one of the desks and texted on his phone. He did not even look at me, or say "Hi"!

I mean, he's supposed to be my "boyfriend", but he sure doesn't act like one.

Zoey went ahead to recommend a book for the chic.
"Ryan bear?" The chic called out, and my mouth dropped wide open, "What do you think of this one?" she waved the book in the air for Ryan to see.

Ryan looked up from his phone and said, "Sure bae, that looks nice".

"Really baby? You prefer this one?"

"Of course babe!"

I'm sorry, did he just call her BAE and BABE???

If she's BAE, then who the heck AM I?

Side toy? Or the girl he can just have fun with when he wants to catch cruise?!

Is he seriously kidding me right now!

Then the chic turned back to Zoey and said, "Ryan boo boo bear, said he likes this one! So, stop staring at me like a dummy and hand me the signing sheet!"

Zoey couldn't help but roll her eyes at her before giving her the library's signing sheet.

And I couldn't help but stare at Ryan, but he didn't even look at me. Despite the signals I was giving him, he didn't seem bothered.

I decided to walk up to him, "Hey Ryan, we need to talk" I whispered softly.

"I'm sorry, what exactly do WE need to talk about?" Ryan said in a rude manner.

Nikki, Zoey and the chic stared at us.

I felt disdained, but I just brushed Ryan's response off.

"I need to tell you something regarding...." I said softly, but he cut me off.

"Regarding what exactly?"

"If you just let me fin..."

"Please, I have a meeting with the principal. Babe, hurry up!"

" Who is she Ryan?" The chic asked, scrawling at me.

" She's just a girl I asked to the Halloween dance, since you decided to go with Patrick ".

" Oh c'mon bae! I couldn't say no to Patrick, and you know why. But it's totally ok you have someone to ESCORT you to the dance".

Escort?

What did she mean by that?!

I felt like speaking up, but no words seemed to come out of my mouth.

The chic signed the library's borrowing consent form, then she and Ryan left the library together, and I watched them till they disappeared down the hall.

"Chloe? Are you crying? What's wrong?" Nikki said with tenderness and sat me down.

I dabbed the tears on my cheeks and sniffed, "I'm okay".

"Then why are there tears in your eyes?" Zoey asked, concerned.

"These aren't tears! It's just.... just.." I stammered, trying to cook up a good lie.

"It's just my retina. It's been itching ever since Uncle Carlos sprayed cockroach insecticide in it. So it gets watery sometimes" I lied.

But it does itch me sometimes, so I was partly telling the truth.

They both stared at me suspiciously.
They knew I was lieing, and I felt like spilling everything OUT!

I was in a really bad mood and my heart was feeling heavy, because of this burden I have to carry. Namely: RYAN CRENSHAW'S LIES!

I figured it was high tide time I told the truth to my bff.
"Nikki, I...." I managed to mutter those words, but I was interrupted by Zoey's rants.

"That cheerleader is SO rude! She was just lucky I was on duty, otherwise, she'd have gotten IT from ME!" She said, pumping her fist.

" Relax Zoey. Let's not get all mad and upset. We still have alot of books to shelve " Nikki said.

"*sigh* I know. It's just, she was so rude! And why did she have to bring her boyfriend along with her if she was going to get the book for HERSELF?! Talk about stupidity!"

Nikki and Zoey went on laughing at Zoey's cruel joke, but I didn't mutter a word.

" Wait Chloe, I heard Ryan asked you to the dance, right?" Zoey asked.

" Yeah, so?" I replied, narrowing my eyes at her.

"He asked you to the dance? Why am I just hearing this?" Nikki said, with one hand on the side of her hips and rolling her neck. She was doing that Tyra Banks neck rolling thing, I guess.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, it just happened" I apologized.

"Hmm, I forgive you. As long as you promise to not keep anything else from me".

I gulped on hearing that one!
Cos I am indeed keeping something from Nikki.

"Ryan asked you to the dance and he already has a girlfriend?" Zoey asked curiously.

"Yeah, so what? Asking me to the dance doesn't make us a couple! He can date whoever he wants, I don't own him! And also, you knew pretty well that Ryan had asked me to the dance, but you still went ahead and kissed HIM! Didn't you know then that he asked me to the dance? So if he could kiss you after asking me to the dance, he can surely date whoever he wants to!" I ranted.

I think I might have said too much.

Nikki's mouth was wide open, cos I guess she's just finding out about the toxicity between Zoey and I.

Zoey stared at me in oblivion, and everywhere got quiet.

The tension was high, so I just walked out of the library.

I know they're a lot of questions buzzing!

I'm honestly so confused, I don't know what to think or say or do!

I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING!

I'M TIRED OF:

WCD!

MACKENZIE HOLLISTER AND JESSICA!

RYAN CRENSHAW!!!

MY LIFE!

LIES AND DECEIT!

I seriously can't take it anymore!
All these is too much to handle ALONE!
I just feel like ending everything and GETTING MY LIFE BACK!

My life has never been easy, but at least it was better before I moved to this stupid town!!!!

I HAVE TOLERATED A LOT!

I HAVE SWALLOWED SHIT!

AND I HAVE BEEN QUIET FOR TOO LONG!

I'VE HAD IT!!!!!

Immediately I got home, I popped a tablet of Tylenol down my throat, stormed to my room and shut the door loudly!
Then I threw my bag in who knows where, and flipped on my bed!

I needed to get everything off my chest, so I.......

.......I had a really good CRY!