Sweet fanart by ChocoGummies on deviantART. 

Beta: Lavendor Queen

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I knocked on the door, Obito right beside me.

The door opened, and Itachi inquired softly, "Yes?"

"Come with us," I said.

Itachi did not verbally respond, but I could feel the rush as Obito sucked the three of us in his world.

"He agrees to the plan!" I exclaimed immediately, unable to keep the bubbling happiness out of my voice.

"That is good."

I nodded my head earnestly. "I figured we should explain the entire plan together - you're better at this type of thing than I am, anyway. And the three of us can now work out all the kinks."

"Mia said I could be Obito again... without publicly facing the repercussions of being Madara," Obito said bluntly.

"You're Obito?" Itachi asked. "Uchiha Obito, Shisui's older brother?"

Obito seemed to be looking at me. "You didn't tell him?"

I shrugged. "It wasn't my secret to tell."

"... Yes. I am Obito."

There was a soft click as he removed his mask. Itachi fell quiet again, taking in this new information. "... I see. No matter, our plan was for one of us to learn Edo-Tensei. The perfected version. When we find Kabuto, I will place him in a Genjutsu and have him tell us the information regarding it. We will use Edo-Tensei in the war, so it won't seem so out of place. Then - "

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"You're going to have to tell Sasuke-chan the truth now," I told Itachi, after we had finished informing Obito the details of the plan.

"... I am aware of the fact."

"We'll have to do it before the war," I continued.

"... Yes."

"... Is he pouting, Obito?"

"A little," Obito admitted. Itachi must have been glaring at Obito, because he snickered and said, "A lot now, actually."

Itachi gave a quiet hn. "... Not yet, though."

I scolded him, "Don't procrastinate, Itachi-chan. I swear I won't let the war start 'til you and Sasuke-chan sit down and talk it out."

Obito put in mildly, "I doubt there would be a lot of talking between the two."

I huffed. "Fine. Beat it out of each other. Go all Therapy-Jutsu for each other, just stop this pointless feud."

"... I will try."

Nodding my head firmly, I took Obito's hand in mine again and said, "If that's all, then I think we're good to go. All that's left is to... take care of Zetsu... Kabuto... and set up the fake organization. Although, that shouldn't take too long, especially if we have the leader of said fake organization 'kidnap' Bee."

"Then we'll start the war, tie up the loose ends and be done with this whole mess," Obito finished.

"Sounds good," Itachi murmured.

"Although," Obito said, "I would rather not kill Zetsu. He is... well, he's not that bad. I know, Mia, you showed me what he did, but... I would like to take a different approach."

"What do you want to do?"

"Izanami. I have plenty of spare eyes to use and if I make the escape route for him to accept that Madara's plan was not the right path and our plan would be better..."

"Go for it," I said, beaming. "You have my full support."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Damn it," I cursed again, running my fingers through my hair.

There was the rustling of the cloth and I felt my bed dip down a bit as someone sat next to me. Gentle hands took the hair from my fingers and started combing through it. "Here."

Relaxing, I said, "Thanks. It's surprisingly harder than I thought it would be to comb my hair without being able to see it. Not impossible, just... kind of irritating."

Obito gave an amused rumble, "And your hair is just easily tangled, too."

We lapsed into a comfortable silence, Obito running his fingers through my hair and untangling it in the process. He was surprisingly gentle about it, and I found myself enjoying the experience. Some time passed before I realized what he was doing. My lips twitched. "Are you braiding my hair?"

Although I could not see him, I had a feeling Obito shrugged at that. "It'll be easier to take care of that way."

"Did you braid your hair when you had long hair?" I asked curiously.

Obito snorted. "My hair is nowhere near as cooperative as yours. No. I did not. I rarely even brushed it, to be honest."

Humming at this, I murmured, "What a waste. You have such nice hair... Come to think of it, why does every Uchiha I know have soft hair?"

"Genetics?" Obito guessed. "I don't know. I don't really care about that sort of thing, anyway, so..."

Obito finished braiding my hair and I felt him reach around me to our nightstand and grab one of the ponytail holders I kept there. Once he tied my braid, I turned around to face him. "Thank you."

There was a knock on the door, and then the door opened (I could hear it squeaking). "Oi, is it safe to open my eyes...?"

"Tobi thinks that if Kisame is going to just open the door and peek in, it's kind of silly to ask that," Obito said, standing up from the bed. "Besides, what does Kisame think Tobi and Mia are doing...?"

"You can't ever be too sure," Kisame defended. "Anyway, Mia's needed, so..."

"Did something happen...?"

"Er, sort of... Sakura and Ino are about to blow up half of Amegakure and Sasori and Deidara aren't really discouraging their fight and if Leader gets involved, they'll probably end up in the hospital, so we figured..."

"... Yeah. Okay, I'll see what I can do."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Girls," I said sharply, "take the fight outside the village."

Obito placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me in another direction. "They're that way, Mia-chan."

"Thank you, sweetie. Girls. Outside. Now."

"No time, Mia," Ino said, and I could practically feel her glower. "This wanna-be tool needs to be shown the real definition of art, stat."

Sakura gave a gasp. "Oh. No. You did not just call me a tool, you ameteur poser! I'm going to kick your ass so hard - "

"Outside," I snapped.

"Why?" Sasori inquired. "We are at a training ground, are we not?"

I turned my head to look back at Obito and he leaned in and whispered, "We are technically at a training ground. Training ground 3, I believe."

I pursed my lips and turned back to the girls. Obito had to reposition my head, again, though. "This training ground is way too small for your guys' battle. Therefore: get out of the village."

"No!"

"Tobi, please bring me to them so that they are within hitting distance."

Obito guided me across the muddy field and I could hear the girls huffing, but they moved to meet us halfway, too, knowing it would just annoy me if they didn't. I reached out and grasped both of their shoulders when I could, getting a good feel for where they were. I then stooped down, grabbed some mud, and planted it in each of their faces.

They shrieked. "What the hell?!"

I stopped down, grabbed some more mud and did the exact same thing.

"Stop that, Mia!" Sakura squealed. "The hell is wrong with you?!"

"If you are insistent on fighting this out here and now, I'll be insistent on throwing mud at you," I said.

There was a pause of silence before I felt the cold wetness of mud all over my face.

Ino giggled. "You call that a face-plant, Sakura? This is a face-plant."

I felt Ino slam more mud into my face and I spluttered. "Is that how it's going to be girls? Attack a poor, blind lady? Well."

I bent down and just tossed a giant pile of mud in the air. The girls laughed and Obito gave an annoyed huff. "Mia-chan got mud all over Tobi now!"

Sakura giggled and I could hear a small splat from the distance.

"Oi! You little brat, un," Deidara said.

Ino gasped. "Oh hell no!"

There was another splat and another curse and I laughed, stepping back into Obito as I heard more splats around. Obito bent down to whisper in my ear, "You just started a mud fight between the artist quartet."

I whispered back, "Better than an all out brawl."

"So what the fuck is going on over here - WHAT THE FUCKING HELL!?" Hidan shrieked when I heard another splat. "Oh you did not just do that. You dickless cocksuckers, I'll fucking show you...! Kakuzu, hold my scythe."

"Please tell me you have a video camera nearby," I said, turning to Obito.

"I'll get one," Obito promised. "... And I'll see if I can accidentally hit Kisame and Itachi with a mud ball and bring them in on this."

"Please. Please do."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

A week had passed by, a relatively uneventful and pleasant week. I still had to stay in Amegakure (as did all Akatsuki members now, exception being Zetsu who was looking for Kabuto).

"Let's play a game," I said one time during lunch. Itachi had to assist me in the kitchen, but thankfully I was fairly familiar with it, so I didn't need too much help.

"No," Kakuzu said flatly.

"Don't be such a spoilsport," Ino scolded the miser. "What do you want to play, Mia?"

"Hide and seek," I declared. "It's not like any of us have anything better to do, anyway. Besides, this is, like, the one game I can play with you guys without getting my ass royally handed to me."

There was a collection of chuckles and laughs at the table. Hidan sneered, "Yeah, looks like not having chakra finally pays off for something. Alright bitch, I'll humor you."

"Tobi thinks Hidan needs to stop calling his girlfriend a bitch," Obito hummed.

"You wanna make me?"

"Guys," Sakura cut in, "save the pissing contest for the game. Who wants to be it?"

"How about this," I added, "the winner wins back the rights for all the blackmail I've collected over the years over them. All the pictures, the video tapes... all of it."

Silence fell across the table.

Kakuzu cleared his throat. "... If that's the case, then..."

"... And they also can take half of the blackmail material I have on one other person," I finished, smiling smugly.

"I'm in, un," Deidara said immediately. "Sasori-no-Danna, no hard feelings when I exploit your weaknesses, right?"

"Sakura," Sasori said, "let's make sure this is interesting, mn?"

I grinned widely. "Alright! The person it can win by finding everyone before night - and I mean night as in, actual night. Not that sunset or dusk. Night. With the stars and moon out and everything."

"How about you can't moving keep moving?," Kisame suggested. "If the person who's it finds you, though, you can escape him and hide again, but that's the only time."

"And you have to stay in the tower, too?" Ino said.

Itachi cleared his throat delicately. "Alright. Then who shall volunteer to be it?"

"I will," Kakuzu said lowly. "You all have ten minutes to hide."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Obito carried me to the hiding spot I had asked him to carry me to - which was in the living room. We had waited for everyone else to leave. I then curled up into a ball and Obito draped a blanket over me.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Obito whispered to me.

"The thing with you damn shinobi is that you tend to overthink everything, Kakuzu especially. No one would think I'd be dumb enough to hide in plain sight. Besides, with the blanket over me and I'm curled up like this, it just looks like I'm a bunch of pillows."

Obito chuckled. "Alright. Kakuzu doesn't have enhanced hearing, so as long as you keep your heartbeat steady and hold your breath when he enters the room, you'll be fine."

"Have fun," I whispered. "Try not to get caught too soon."

"You, too."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Kakuzu entered the living room, what felt like, an hour later. I could hear his soft footsteps as he moved uncaringly and indifferently.

"Stupid, un," Deidara muttered petulantly.

"I can't believe I was the first one found," Hidan complained.

"Shut up," Kakuzu said. "Or I will knock you both unconscious again."

There was some mutterings, and then Kakuzu spoke again. "No one's here. Let's go."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The second time Kakuzu entered the living room, Ino whined, "I'm sorry I failed you, Deidara-sensei."

"Don't worry about it, Ino-chan, un," Deidara consoled. "You did better than Sakura."

"Oi!" Sakura snapped.

Kisame laughed. "Although we still need to find Sasori, Itachi, Tobi and Mia."

Hidan huffed. "We haven't checked the basement, yet, money-fucker."

"Shut up, immortal idiot."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The third time through, they were still muttering.

"Tobi thinks Itachi and Mia-chan are very good hiders," Obito said.

"Damn, it's almost dark, too," Sakura said.

Kakuzu grunted. "It just means they were overlooked."

Silence fell across the room and I willed myself to stay as still as possible.

Then, as if by some hide-and-seek miracle, they left.

I resisted the urge to yawn.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Is she really here, Tobi?"

"Where the hell is she?"

"Damn, never thought she'd last this long, to be honest, un," Deidara confessed.

"That's Tobi's girlfriend," Obito exclaimed.

"Hn. It doesn't matter now. It's night," Itachi.

Kakuzu muttered, "Now it's just a point of pride. I will find her."

Is it really night...? I thought. I fell asleep a while back... Or at least, I dozed.

"Mia-chan can come out now," Obito cooed, "it's night time!... And Tobi made sure to bring a video camera to record everyone's reactions!"

I threw off the blanket, holding my hands up in the air. "Ta-da!"

"Holy shit," Hidan laughed.

I could hear the smacks of several face-palms and I grinned triumphantly. "Looks like I'm keeping my blackmail, ne?"

"Damn," Ino sighed.

Kakuzu grumbled, "This was a huge waste of my time."

"It had potential, though," Kisame chuckled. "Nice hiding spot, Mia."

I beamed. "... Ah... but now I have to go to the bathroom really bad and I'm really hungry."

"Tobi will get started on dinner!" Obito declared.

"Ew, no, un," Deidara said. "I'll cook tonight."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

After dinner and everyone went their separate ways, Zetsu came to Obito and myself. The two of us were preparing for bed when Zetsu entered the room and said, "We found Kabuto."

"Mia, please go get Itachi," Obito said softly. "... Zetsu and I need to have a private conversation."

Realizing where this was going, I backed out of the room, placing my hand on the wall to guide me through the hallways.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When Itachi and I entered the room again, Obito said, "Zetsu told me the location. Itachi, you and Kisame will take care of him. Be sure to get all information in regards to Edo-Tensei. Kakuzu and Hidan will back you up."

"... Where is Zetsu now?" I asked hesitantly.

"His body is in the chakra-bounding prison cell at one of the older bases," Obito said. "Mentally, though, he's in Izanami. Which reminds me, I'll have to transplant new eyes sometime tomorrow..."

Itachi gave a soft response, "Do you need assistance?"

"No. I'll use a clone. I've done it plenty of times before. Just go ahead and inform Kisame and the others of the mission. I've already talked to Pein."

"Got it."

When Itachi left and we finished getting ready for bed, we laid in the darkness for a while, talking.

"... So I'll send the letters out in a few days to invite Naruto and Sasuke to Amegakure to officially meet their PenPals, right?"

"Right," Obito said. "I'll go ahead and start gathering the incriminating evidence to plant on Danzo in the meanwhile. The rumors have already begun spreading through Sasori's spy network - that the work of the missing bijuu are by a masked man."

"Excellent. Everything is going according to plan so far. I'm kinda worried something is going to screw up soon, though."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Besides, you and Itachi have had years to plan for this. You have nearly every possible scenario covered. We'll watch - well, I'll watch and you'll listen - the rest of the war arc tomorrow. Or at least try to. It's really quite long, isn't it?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah. But you're learning quite a bit, aren't you? Itachi's seen some of it, and now that he knows your identity, he'll be able to finish it, too."

I yawned. Obito turned to me. "Go to sleep, Mia. We'll talk more later."

"Mn. Okay."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"What?!" Sakura demanded. "Why can't we be the ones to take that Kabuto loser out?!"

"Because Deidara is still too injured," Sasori put in mildly.

Deidara huffed. "I'm still more than a match for that freak."

"Doesn't matter," Sasori said. "It'd just be best if they went."

The girls still grumbled, and Deidara still huffed, but there weren't any more objections to the decision.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Sakura wondered.

"Train. Let's go, Sakura-chan," Sasori said, and I heard the rustling of cloth and the squeaking of chairs as the two stood up.

"Come on, Ino-chan. We'll show those to how training is supposed to be done, un," Deidara said.

"Hai!"

"Guess that means we'll be watching more episodes," I said, leaning into Obito.

"Guess so. I'll go pop the popcorn. Want anything else while I'm in the kitchen?"

"Tea would be nice, please and thank you."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

A little over a week passed by before the quartet returned, and one day after that passed before Sasuke, Naruto and Kakashi arrived in Amegakure.

It was time to move on to the next phase of the plan.

It was time they learned the truth.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When the trio had arrived in Amegakure, it was a little after lunch. I had asked them wait in the living room, so I could inform their PenPals that they had arrived. I told the directions to Itachi's room to Sasuke and asked him to wait a couple minutes before following behind me, and I told Naruto I would come back to escort him to his PenPal directly.

"Itachi, it's going to have to come out eventually," I coaxed, gripping Itachi's shoulders. "You can do it. You've been talking to him for years now."

Itachi did not outwardly display his anxiety, but I knew he was. "It's okay. I'm here. The Akatsuki is right outside the door and Sasuke still loves you. It's okay."

Itachi still did not reply, and he would not make even an iota of motion until Sasuke walked right in the door. Itachi stood up, and Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening. "Itachi..."

I quickly stepped between the two, positioning myself based on their voices. "Okay, before anything really bad happens, Sasuke-chan, take a deep breath. You know I love you like a son and want you to be happy, don't you? Well, I love Itachi like a son, too."

"The massacre did not happen the way I made you believe," Itachi said softly. "Come here, Sasuke. Listen to this tale."

"You're just a liar," Sasuke spat.

"I am," Itachi agreed, "but I will not lie to you about this. I am Shi, Sasuke. And... I love you."

I could practically feel Sasuke's eyes narrow into furious slits from his scathing glower.

"If I did not," Itachi said quietly, "then why would I keep in contact with you? Why would I help you? Why would I be here... waiting for you?"

"Why did you kill our parents?!" Sasuke shouted.

"That is what I am here to tell you," Itachi said. "Now will you listen?"

I hesitantly placed a hand on Sasuke's stiff shoulder. "Sasuke-chan... please. At least listen. For me."

Sasuke shook off my hand and glared hatefully at his brother. "I will listen. And if I don't like your story, I'll kill you."

"... I think now's a good time to check in on Nagato and Naruto," I said, backing out of the room. "Don't kill each other while I'm gone, please and thank you, dears."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I grabbed Naruto's hand and the two of us maneuvered our way through the halls. "I can't believe I'm finally going to meet him!"

"He's anxious to meet you, too, dear," I said. Naruto tugged on my hand and pulled me into a room. "... What's up, Nagato-sama? I'd like you to meet your PenPal, my son, Naruto. Naruto, meet Nagato. Your PenPal."

There was a suck in take of breath (two, actually, and I realized that Konan was in the room), while Naruto gave a gleeful shout. "Oh this is so awesome! Hey, why do you have those rods sticking out your back?"

"Uzumaki Naruto... you are..."

Naruto was laughing. "This is just so... aw, jeeze, I'm really glad I can finally meet you, Nagato-nii-chan."

"A-Aa. Likewise..."

"Naruto-chan, do you mind getting a glass of water for me, please?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, sure, Kaa-chan. Be right back!"

When he had left, I could feel two pinning gazes on me. Nagato demanded, "What's your plan?! You know... You know..."

"He's an awful lot like Yahiko, isn't he?" I asked, turning my head in the direction Naruto had left. "It'd be a shame if his dreams were crushed by someone he thinks so highly of."

"What is your plan?!" Nagato growled. "You know... You know because of Akatsuki..."

"It doesn't have to be that way," I said quietly. "Peace achieved through illusion isn't true peace. And your concept on delivering all that unnecessary pain... do you still want others to suffer like you did? Or are you willing to put your faith in someone else?"

Nagato did not respond, and Konan did not, either. Silence followed my question, all the way up to when Naruto returned. He was grinning at all of us (I could feel his warm gaze). "Here, Kaa-chan."

"Thank you, dear. I think I'll go check on the other Akatsuki members. Enjoy your time here," I said, reaching out a hand and touching the wall.

"Do you need help, Kaa-chan?"

"No, I'll be fine. Have fun with your precious person, Naruto-chan... Nagato-sama, same to you. Look after your two precious people."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

After a while of stumbling around, I finally made it back to Sasuke and Itachi, stepping over the rubble and broken glass in the room. Itachi assisted me in finding a suitable place, while I listened in on his and Sasuke's conversation.

"I'll kill him."

"Of course, dear," I agreed readily. "But not yet. Tobi will implant incriminating evidence all over his ass as soon as he finishes figuring out who's ROOT and who's not. We can't very well have him become a martyr, can we?"

Sasuke nodded, accepting this. "So long as I can kill him."

Itachi and I exchanged glances. "Are you okay with that, Itachi-chan?"

"I am," Itachi said. "Are you?"

"Okay with what?"

"... Your other son killing someone."

I snorted. "My children have never killed anyone. They're completely innocent. Don't be absurd."

I just knew Sasuke was rolling his eyes and Itachi was shaking his head.