Disclaimer: Just... you know... playing with Naruto... never owning it.

Warning: Er. The omake at the end is kind of graphic. Maybe.

Beta: Lavendor Queen

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

You. Me. Date?

Love,

Mia

I finished the last bit of the note, before I set it on top of my pillow. Tobi hadn't drop by since I was given the mission, so I hadn't had a chance to tell him I was leaving. Not that he actually needed to know, because I would be well taken care of, so he had no reason to worry.

PS: Off on a mission with Team 7, plus Mr. Wood. Don't worry. Kakashi's being a perfect gentleman and offered to carry me the majority of the way. I made some cookies last night, Jiraiya's staying, too, but help yourself to the cookies. If they're still there. Jiraiya seemed to really like them, so I'm not entirely sure. I'll make more if you didn't get the chance.

I grabbed my pack, swinging it on my shoulder and I slipped on my sandals. Leaving my room, I closed the door gently and headed off to wake Naruto. The young man was sleeping soundly in his bed, body-hugging his pillow. I gently shook him. "Wake up, sweetie. It's time to go."

Naruto blinked groggily, staring up at me moodily. "Wha' 'ime is i'?"

"Eight ten," I replied. "We have fifty minutes to get to the gate. Breakfast's already made, so come on out."

Naruto yawned, slowly sitting up in his bed and rubbing at his eyes. "Mmkay."

Feeling spontaneous, I kissed his cheek and ruffled his bed-head-hair. He shot me an irritated glare, grumpy from being woken up and tired from staying up too late last night. Moving away, I headed across the apartment and opened the door to Kakashi's place. I found him already awake, reading a book I didn't recognize as he rubbed a towel across his wet hair.

"Morning," I chirped. "Breakfast's ready."

Kakashi glanced at me, awarding me with his eye-smile. "Thanks. I'll be out in a minute."

"'Kay," I said, leaving the room. As I closed the door behind me, I had the strongest sense of Déjà vu.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(Flashback 1)

There was a knock on my bedroom door, and I yawned groggily. I looked over at Tobi, who was slowly opening his eyes. We both glanced at the door, before I quickly untangled myself from Tobi and the sheets, heading to the door. I opened it slowly, blinking in surprise to find Kakashi, looking sheepish.

He rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously. "Um..."

"... Yes, Kakashi?"

Tobi sat up in the bed, making no noise in the process, and frowned.

"I believe Anko stole these from you and placed them in my shower this morning," Kakashi said, holding up a pair of -

I blushed brightly, grabbing my underwear. "Sorry. Yeah..."

Kakashi then looked even more sheepish. "... I'm missing a pair of..."

"Oh, damn. Yeah, I'll let you know if I find them."

Kakashi sighed. "Thanks."

After he left, and I shut the door, I rolled my eyes. "I'm starting to have doubts about letting Anko stay with us. That girl is too determined."

Tobi snorted, glaring sulkily at the garment.

"I'm not even going to be able to wear these anymore," I whined. "And they were comfy, too."

"We could always repay her," Tobi suggested, suddenly brightening.

I smirked. "Then she'll just return the favor tenfold. She'll lose interest eventually when it becomes apparent that there's nothing going on between Kakashi and myself."

Tobi looked disappointed. "Are you sure we can't...?"

"Yes, Tobi. I'm sure. We can take our frustration out at the Akatsuki, though."

Tobi smirked. "Another prank war?"

I shrugged, using my cast-wrapped arm to gesture between the two of us. "We do make the best alliance."

Tobi snickered. "That's true."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Kakashi!" I hollered, crossing my arms over my chest and glaring up at the ceiling. There. Above my shower, nailed in, was a certain pair of boxers.

Kakashi knocked on the door.

"I'm decent," I muttered, still glaring at the boxers.

Kakashi stepped in, tilting his head as he stared up at his boxers. "... She nailed them in. I'm not going to be able to wear those any more."

I patted his shoulder consolingly. "There, there. We can go clothes shopping later, if you like."

Kakashi chuckled. "No, I'm good. Alright, thanks Mia."

"Sure, sure."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I let out a blissful sigh, relaxing in the bubble bath. I had both of my casts wrapped in plastic to keep them from getting wet.

There was a knock on the door.

"This better be damn important," I warned, glaring at the door.

"Kakashi refuses to peek on you!" Anko whined through the door.

"Good boy, Kakashi," I yelled.

"Welcome," Kakashi said back, but his voice was muffled, both from the distance and because of the door and walls between us.

"Mia! There's something wrong with him. Fine! But come on! You have to be a little bit offended."

"Offended that an asexual person refuses to show signs of perverseness?"

"She's right," Kakashi said, his voice still muffled. "Mia has no reason to be offended."

Anko gave a groan. "Why are you guys so stubborn? You'd be perfect together!"

"How would you know?" I asked curiously. "Besides, I already told you, Anko, I'm already—"

"I give up!" Anko shouted. "For the moment! I give up. You two are impossible and no fun."

I smirked triumphantly.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I took another sip of my virgin strawberry daiquiri, licking my lips and feeling quite pleased with the drink. Kurenai was talking to Asuma on my left, and Kakashi was seated on my right. The four of us were at one of their (Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai... and Gai) favorite bars. It was more or less a spur of the moment type thing, Kakashi and I were returning from grocery shopping and ran into Asuma, who offered to help carry the food back. We ran into Kurenai on our way home, and after dropping off the food, we decided to go out for a drink.

Well. They were the only ones consuming alcohol, hence the virgin in the name of my drink.

"... Ino ended up just shoving both boys off the tree," Asuma finished, sighing.

"She sounds almost as aggressive as Sakura," Kakashi interjected. "Naruto made a remark that puppets were just stupid dolls and the girl put laxatives in his food and then beating the poor boy unconscious."

"Why would you let my daughter beat my son?" I wondered out loud.

Kakashi shrugged. "It amused me."

"Hinata's nothing like that," Kurenai said, smiling in fond entertainment. "I was worried about her lack of confidence, but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be. She's growing up into quite the little lady, I'm very proud of her."

Asuma nodded his head. "She has quite the lady as a teacher, I'm not surprised."

Kurenai blushed prettily and looked away, while I giggled.

"Hi."

Eyes shifted over to a rather pretty young kunoichi who slid into the seat next to Kakashi. She was smiling welcomingly at Kakashi, leaning towards him.

"Hello," Kakashi said politely, giving her an eye-smile. I felt his foot lightly tap against my leg.

Taking his hint, I slung my arm around Kakashi's forward, leaned across him and offered my hand to the woman. "Can we help you?"

She blinked in surprise, as if just noticing me. "Oh..." Her eyes darted to my arm, still slung around Kakashi's shoulders lazily. "I'm sorry, I thought... No. I just wanted to say hello."

I smiled politely. "Hello."

She flushed and hurried away. I took my arm back, taking a sip of my drink. Kakashi relaxed.

"Thanks, Mia," Kakashi sighed.

"No problem, buddy," I dismissed. "You'd do the same for me."

"Sure."

"Cute," Kurenai said, smirking. "Maybe I should tell Anko."

I glared at her. "Do that, and you're dead to me."

She giggled. "I won't, I won't, although... that reminds me of something I've been wanting to ask you, Mia. Will you return to the academy to teach?"

I blinked in surprise. "I hadn't planned on it. The only reason the civilians tolerated me being at the school in the first place was because the Hokage gave the reasoning I was there to 'keep Naruto in check.' When Naruto and everyone graduate, I saw no reason to return."

"I think you should," Kurenai said.

I gave her an incredulous look. "I can't. Like I said, the only reason—"

"Well that's just bullshit," Kurenai muttered. "You were a good teacher. The students loved you and I heard Iruka talking to Yuna that since you were there, fights between the students were at an all time low—so was the drop-out rate!"

I scratched the back of my head. "Well... I mean... it's not like I can do anything about it now, is there?"

"Maybe not, but I still think you'd be a good teacher."

Kakashi nodded his head. "I agree. There's just something about you..."

"Maybe you could apply for your own Genin team," Asuma joked.

"And teach them, what? How to cook?"

"You know self-defense and the basics. You know how to teach it," Kurenai pointed out.

"But I can't do any of the stuff myself," I retorted. "I wouldn't even be able to take them out on missions because I can't even properly defend myself against a shinobi, let alone three children."

Kurenai sighed and I patted her shoulder. "Still think you should teach..."

"Yes, well, it's not happening."

(End of Flashback 1)

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I blinked away the memories before I slowly moved out of the room and headed to the table. The food was spread out and Naruto had slowly taken a seat down. He gave a massive yawn, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I took a seat across from him, smiling brightly.

"Good morning, sleepy head," I said.

"'Morning," Naruto yawned, rubbing his eyes. "How'd you slee'?"

"Still waking up?" I asked, noting how he was still mumbling. "I slept fine. You?"

Naruto mumbled, "I still wan' 'o sleep."

I snickered, taking a sip of my water.

Lowering the cup down, I found my eyes glued to the water, another sense of déjà vu...

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(Flashback 2)

I stretched out in the chair, letting out a content sigh. Summertime sunshine warmed me, and caused my muscles to feel relaxed and loose. It was tempting to just fall asleep, but I wasn't in the mood for a sunburn.

Shouts echoed around me, and I lazily opened one eye to make sure no one was bleeding or severely injured.

Sasuke sat next to Shikamaru, the two talking quietly with their legs dangling in the water. Naruto was chasing Kiba, a water gun in hand and laughing maniacally. Akamaru was barking excitedly, wagging his tail as he chased Kiba, too. Kiba was shouting (and laughing) at Naruto, before he dove into the pool. Chōji and Shino, who were also participating in the water-fight, were currently trying to hide from Naruto's view. Ino was beside Hinata and Sakura, the trio of girls spread out on a towel and giggling.

Kakashi was in the lounge chair beside me, his book resting over the lower half of his face, and his eyes closed. Kurenai was on the other side of me, flipping through a magazine and Asuma had left to grab lunch for us.

Satisfied no one was dying or needed help, I closed my eye again.

A handful of seconds past before cold water streamed on my chest. I spluttered, lurching into a sitting position and blinking in surprise. "Wha—?"

Naruto grinned foxily at me.

I stared down at the top of my bathing suit, and at the water that drenched my chest. I looked back up at him, cocking an eyebrow. "You really wanna do this?"

"Do what?" Naruto asked innocently, tucking the water gun behind his back.

"I don't think you want to do this, Mia," Sasuke called, smirking.

Kakashi lazily opened an eyebrow. "Now, now, are you guys picking on a civilian? I thought I taught you better than that."

The children continued to smirk.

Kakashi, Kurenai and I exchanged glances.

"Well, friends, it seems we have been issued a challenge," I said, sitting up slowly.

"Maa, maa. What a bother, but... I guess it can't be helped," Kakashi said, sitting up, as well.

"Who knows? It might actually prove entertaining," Kurenai mused, smiling slowly.

"Bring it on!" Ino shouted.

The three of us smirked.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Asuma returned to the scene, stared at it and shook his head.

I was sitting on top of the dog pile that consisted of Kiba, Chōji, Shikamaru, Shino and Sakura. Sasuke was sprawled on his back, staring in dumbfoundment at the sky, completely drenched. Hinata was fanning a catatonic Naruto, a worry frown on her face. Ino was passed out, floating in the pool, her eyes spinning. Shikamaru (who had wisely called a truce), was the only dry child, and he sat under a shaded tree.

Kurenai looked completely relaxed, flipping through a magazine, and Kakashi was lightly sleeping in his lunge.

"I don't think I want to know," Asuma said.

"I don't think you do," I agreed.

(End Flashback 2)

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"... Thanks for the meal," Naruto and Kakashi chorused, and I smiled in return.

"Happy to feed you guys," I said. "We should probably get going, though. Naruto, why don't you get ready while I get the dishes?"

"I'll help," Kakashi offered politely, gathering up half of the dishes. I murmured a quiet thank you, and Naruto headed off.

The two of us placed the dishes in the sink and I turned on the hot water. Kakashi grabbed a towel, and as I washed and rinsed, he dried and put them away.

And soon, everything was ready.

The three of them left the apartment and started to head down to the gate.

When they arrived, Yamato, Sasuke and Sakura were already there.

"Right on time," Yamato said, raising an eyebrow in surprise at Kakashi. "Maybe it's a good thing you live with Mia-chan now."

Kakashi gave him an eye-smile. "Maybe."

"Are we ready?" Sakura asked.

"I think so," I said and Kakashi swept me up. "Yep. We're ready."

"Then let's go!" Naruto exclaimed.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Alright, well, because this is just a filler chapter (and is actually pretty short) and a looooot people seemed to really like the Halloween omake, I decided to continue it.

You're welcome. ;)

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

And so Konoha's very first Halloween began!

"God, I look so sexy as Madara," Mia said, posing in front of the mirror as she winked at herself.

"Please. You think anyone dressed as Madara is sexy," Tobi dismissed. He was holding a glass of water—Mia had been thirsty and he had been a perfect gentleman in offering to hold her drink while she changed.

"He is the sex god."

Tobi muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry, dear, did you say something?"

"He's too old for you," Tobi sniffed. "What do you see in him?"

"His eyes, his face, his butt, his hair... his voice... just... damn."

The glass in Tobi's hand shattered as a dark cloud hung over him.

Mia blinked in surprise, having finally dragged her eyes away from the Madara look-alike in the mirror, only to find her water all over the floor. She then noticed the dark cloud that hung over him. She gave a nervous laugh. "You okay, buddy?"

"Peachy."

"Yes, well... where's your costume, anyway?"

"... In the bag," Tobi muttered moodily, gesturing to the black bag.

Mia smiled. "Then put it on, silly."

Tobi let out a sigh. "Yeah, sure... gimme a minute."

Sulkily, Tobi grabbed the bag and headed into the next room. Mia eyed him another moment before she giggled and went back to admiring (and daydreaming about) Madara in the mirror.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Stupid grandfather," Obito muttered as he started to change. "He's fucking over eighty and yet he's still got girls pining after him. He's got Mia pining after him. An old man! What's so great about him, anyway?"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Hooo? I'm almost glad we finished our mission so early," Kakashi said, giving Sakura an eye-smile.

Sakura smirked. "The more the merrier, right? You'll need to pick out a costume, though. I think the store's still open."

"You said there was a haunted house, right?" Sasuke asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You and your friend made it?"

"That's right. Scariest thing out there," Sakura bragged.

"I'd like to test that," Sasuke challenged. "I don't think you two have what it takes."

"Oh it is on, Duck-Ass."

Sasuke glowered at her.

"What do you mean you lost them?!" Ino shrieked.

"Well, we all went in the maze..." Shikamaru trailed off. "So troublesome. We all went into the maze, Chōji thought he smelled bacon, so he went off in one direction... Konohamaru and the others went off in another direction and now we can't find them."

Ino's eyes were bright red and flames shot out of her mouth as she yelled, "Those brats! That evil, manipulative brat! He knows that Sandaime-sama is expecting us to watch over him and if we lose him...! I'm going to kill him."

Shikamaru sighed and Chōji laughed nervously at Ino's last statement.

"There a problem, un?"

"Yes!" Ino said immediately. "The Sandaime's brat is missing."

Deidara frowned. "Seriously, un? Shit. We're going to have to find him. Leader-sama will kill me if I ended up losing the old Hokage's brat, un."

"Don't worry Deidara-sensei," Ino said quickly. "I won't let that happen. We'll find him!"

Deidara grinned cockily. "I'm sure my apprentice will. Then I'll leave it up to you three, un."

"We won't fail," Ino said confidently.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Where do you want to go to first?" Mia asked Tobi, deepening her voice to mimic that of Madara.

"Stop talking like that," Tobi grouched irritably. He adjusted his Reaper costume, pulling down on the hood to better cover his skeletal mask. "We should hit the maze first. That way we can stay for the rest of the night at the haunted house."

Mia pouted at her friend disliking her Madara voice. She gave a sigh, her voice normal when she spoke again, "Alright. Ooo, can we go trick or treating?"

"How old are you, again? I seem to have thought you were older than five, but I've been wrong before."

"You can totally trick or treat as an adult!"

Tobi seemed glared at her.

She huffed. "No fair. Fine. So where's the maze?"

"Right around..." Tobi trailed off as the two of them rounded the corner, only to find Ino preparing a flamethrower, with Shikamaru and Chōji trying to restrain her.

Ino thrashed. "Let me go! I'm going to burn this whole fucking thing down! I can sense the brat's chakra in there. Let's see him come out when the entire thing is on fire!"

"Don't—you—think—you're—taking—this—too—far?!" Shikamaru panted, straining his shadow-technique against his frantic teammate.

"Just calm down, Ino," Chōji tried to console.

"Deidara-sensei is counting on me! I mustn't fail!"

"I miss you—being just—Sasuke's—fangirl—because he—didn't recuperate—anything so you—encouraged—damn it, Ino!"

Mia sweat dropped. "Uh..."

"Mia-sensei! Help," Chōji said immediately.

"Ino, sweetie..." Mia said hesitantly, slowly inching towards her. "Sweetheart... I need you to relax, right now, okay? Everything is going to be alright. Just... just calm down."

Ino huffed, puffing out her cheeks in annoyance, but she slowly relaxed.

"Alright, now can someone tell me what happened?" Mia asked.

Quickly, Ino explained the situation.

Tobi gasped dramatically. "Oh no! Tobi's so sorry. If only there was something Tobi could do..."

"We could go into the maze and look for them," Mia suggested brightly. "I am hypersensitive to chakra, I should be able to locate him. Then you, Tobi-dear, can knock him out and restrain him."

Tobi sweatdropped. "Ah... Tobi isn't sure how he feels about knocking out a child... Isn't that child abuse?"

"His 'costume' is really a henge of Mia in sexy-jutsu form," Shikamaru said slyly, a gleam in his eyes.

Immediately, Tobi straightened. "That little brat, no one's allowed to see Mia like that excep—er—Tobi means.... naughty, naughty boy. Tobi will help!"

Mia (who obviously didn't hear Tobi's first remark because she was busy consoling Ino) threw her fist up in the air. "Alright! Let's go, buddy!"

"Right!"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"A haunted house?" Iruka echoed.

Naruto nodded his head excitedly. "Kaa-chan loves 'em."

"They're supposed to be r-r-r-romantic, too," Hinata managed. She and Naruto had dropped by the academy at Naruto's request—he wanted to make sure his favorite academy instructor knew about all the fun activities regarding the strange new holiday.

"Romantic? How so?" Iruka asked dubiously.

Naruto smirked. "'Cause the girl's supposed to be protected by the guy, right!"

"Or the other way around," Hinata giggled, recalling how Naruto had actually hid behind her when they stopped by the house earlier. Naruto rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, awarding Hinata with a knowing smile.

"It's a chance to get clingy without an overprotective family member cockblocking you," Naruto whispered to Iruka. Hinata had to smother her bemused smiled.

"R-R-Really?" Iruka stuttered, a flush crawling across his cheeks. "U-Uh, d-does Mia-chan have anyone going with her? I-I mean..."

"Huh? Well, I don't know," Naruto said, frowning in confusion. "Why?"

"Er, no reason, Naruto... I-I should get going! I need to get my costume."

"Have fun!" Naruto chirped.

"There you are!"

Naruto turned white as Neji started charging at him and Hinata, an evil glint in his eyes. Naruto grabbed Hinata and started sprinting away.

"Leave us alone!" Naruto howled.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"He's right down here," Mia said as she and Tobi ran through the maze. "Or, well, he's in that direction. I can't actually navigate through the maze, ehehe...."

Tobi swung Mia up in his arms before making both of them intangible and passing straight through the haystacks. Mia squealed, squeezing her eyes shut and clinging to the only solid thing.

After rows and rows of haystacks, the two finally found the trio.

Konohamaru not henged, gave a startled shout upon seeing them. "Wh-What?!"

"Oi, brat. Time to go with us," Mia said, as Tobi set her down.

"Uchiha Madara?!"

"If only," Mia muttered under her breath, spiking Tobi's annoyance.

"That little liar," Tobi grumbled, noticing how Konohamaru was so not henged.

"I can't let you take me back," Konohamaru shouted. "I'm on a dare to stay the entire night in the maze. I won't back down."

Tobi ignored him and started marching towards him.

Konohamaru paled and gulped. "I-I'm warning you...!"

Tobi continued moving towards him.

"You leave me no choice! Sexy-no-jutsu!"

Only certain parts were covered in smoke, and the Konohamaru-henged-into-Mia, winked at Tobi, giggling.

Mia gasped, covering her mouth to try and smother her laughter.

Tobi, however, was frozen, his expression completely unreadable through his mask. That lasted about ten seconds, before he fell over, twitching.

Mia, still giggling, looked over at her friend in confusion. "Tobi? You okay?"

When he didn't respond, Mia glared at Konohamaru. "Konohamaru, you have exactly three seconds to get back to the start of the maze, or I will make you regret it."

Konohamaru dispelled the henge and stuck out his tongue. "You can't make me."

Mia smirked and whispered, "Then I guess I'll just have to..."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Ino hopped from one foot to the other, anxious. "Do you think they'll catch him?"

"Probably," Shikamaru yawned.

"I just hope they don't get lost..." Chōji trailed off.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Keep her away from me. Keep her away!"

The trio blinked in surprise as Konohamaru sprinted out of the maze, a horrified look on his face as he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Ino smirked and grabbed him by the collar, the boy starting to hyperventilate. "There you are, you little shit. You're coming with me."

Then with an all too smug look, Ino carried the boy to the other side of the maze (where Deidara was, at the exit). Shikamaru and Chōji exchanged glances, looking back to find Mia supporting Tobi, and the two of them wobbling out of the maze.

"... You guys okay?"

"I think so," Mia said, while Tobi gurgled.

"... What's wrong with you?" Chōji asked incredulously, staring at Tobi.

Tobi twitched, then turned away, making sure the others couldn't see his face. He then pulled off his mask and the three of them sweatdropped as a pool of blood poured out.

H-How can someone bleed that much? Mia thought.

Tobi put his mask back on and turned around, ignoring the deadpanned looks. "... Tobi is fine now."

"I can't believe the mask held all that blood," Shikamaru muttered. "Troublesome. Well, what are you two going to do now?"

Mia perked up. "Haunted house!"

"Have fun," Chōji said, smiling.

Mia squealed excitedly, grabbing Tobi's hand and starting to sprint away. "Oooo, let's go, let's go!"

"D-Do you even know where you're going?!" Tobi howled.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Th-This is..."

Mia stared longingly at the house, squeezing Tobi's hand. Tobi immediately squeezed Mia's back and the two exchanged glances. Before they could take a step towards the rickety place, a familiar boy hurried out.

It was Sasuke. He wasn't quite running, but he definitely wasn't walking. The moment he caught sight of the two of them, he hurried over to them, before pulling Mia out in front of him and ducking behind her.

"... Hi, sweetie," Mia said, frowning.

"I'll refer to you as Madara for the rest of the night if you don't tell her where I am," Sasuke said.

"Deal."

"... Tobi wonders what Sasuke is supposed to be dressed as," Tobi said.

Sasuke snorted. "I'm a serial killer, obviously."

"Tobi thinks Sasuke has issues."

"WHERE ARE YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!?"

The two adults looked over to find Sakura, sprinting out of the haunted house, a mutinous look on her face.

"Hi, honey!" Mia greeted, waving her hand.

Sasori and Kakashi followed Sakura out of the house at a more sedate pace.

"Where is he?! That... that jerk! How dare he...!"

"What happened?" Tobi asked.

"Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked. "He wasn't scared a bit after all the hard work Sasori and I put into that place. And he didn't even blink! That's completely insensitive."

Mia smiled sympathetically. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sure your house is very scary."

"It's not," Sasuke muttered.

Sakura's head whipped around at the voice, and her eyes narrowed. "Mia..."

Mia laughed nervously. "Now just calm down... while Sasuke-chan may not have been scared of the house, it's obvious he's scared of you."

Sakura paused at that and Sasuke hit Mia's shoulder. "I am not!"

He still hid behind her.

"What's going on?"

All eyes turned to Iruka, who was dressed as a Western knight.

"Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked in surprise.

"Iruka-kun?" Mia echoed, tilting her head. "I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you?"

"F-Fine," Iruka said, blushing. "I came up for the haunted house... I wasn't expecting you here, Mia-chan."

Mia smiled politely. "Yes, well, I wanted to go through the haunted house, which reminds me, as much as I would love to see Sakura scaring the shit outta Sasuke, I'd really like to give the haunted house a whirl."

"The house is ready whenever you are, Mia," Sasori said.

"Try not to get too scared," Kakashi chuckled. "I think I'll head down to the maze now. Come on, Sasuke, I'll protect you from the big-bad Sakura."

"I do not need protection!" Sasuke snapped, even as he switched hiding positions to hide behind Kakashi instead of Mia. Sakura smirked, looking quite smug at that reaction.

Mia snickered quietly as Sasuke and Kakashi headed away. Sakura smiled brightly at her. "Okay. We'll get the house ready for you guys. Wait one minute!"

Quickly, Sakura sprinted back towards the house, taking Sasori's offered hand. The two soon disappeared inside.

"Yatta, this is going to be awesome," Mia chirped.

"R-Right," Iruka said, still flushed. "Mia-chan... actually... I was hoping if maybe... you and I could go in... together?"

Tobi's head snapped around, a red vein appearing on top of his head.

Mia looked uncomfortable. "Actually, I was going in with Tobi. All three of us could go in if you like, though."

Iruka looked disappointed, but smiled. "I'd just like to get the chance to go in with you, Mia-chan. I'm perfectly fine if Tobi-san wants to tag along."

"Tag alone?" Tobi repeated, disgusted. You're the one who's tagging along, you damn...!

Mia beamed, taking Tobi's hand and heading towards the house. Tobi shot Iruka a smug look, and suddenly Iruka felt like he actually had competition.

Iruka swallowed roughly. Maybe I should just politely back down...?

Tobi turned his head back around, checking to make sure the third-wheel was backing down. Deciding that he was, Tobi triumphantly wrapped an arm around Mia's shoulder and started guiding her into the house.

On second thought... Iruka thought, watching them. "Wait up, Mia-chan!"

You little shit, Tobi thought darkly.

Mia smiled as Iruka caught up to her other side, grabbed her hand and hurried her away from Tobi. Without a second glance, Iruka guided her into the house, leaving Tobi behind.

When this is over... Tobi trailed off, his eyes narrowed, before he hurried after them.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Roughly two minutes into the house, Mia was having to cling onto Tobi. Not because she was scared, so much as she was completely blind in the darkness. Thanks to Tobi's shinobi training (and his hax-Sharingan), he was able to navigate the two of them through the darkness.

Well. Three. Iruka needed assistance, as well.

"There's a table on Iruka's right," Tobi drawled.

Iruka cursed when a loud thud was heard.

"Oh. Tobi meant Iruka's left," Tobi said. "Watch out for the—" Thud! "—oops, spoke too late. There's a loose board on Iruka's right." Crack. "Tobi meant left. Sorry. Careful, Mia, here, maybe Tobi should just carry Mia..."

"Maybe I should, so you can focus on directions," Iruka bit out.

Mia repressed a sigh, not quite sure what exactly was making Tobi so irritable. "... I think I see something up ahead."

"Mia has such good eyes!" Tobi chirped. "Tobi sees something to."

Without warning there was a loud cracking sound and the trio looked up to the ceiling. Mia screamed in alarm as hundreds of spiders fell onto them. She screamed, jumping up and down and swatting at herself. "Get them off! Get them off! Oh my God get them off, please!"

"H-Hang on, Mia-chan" Iruka said, struggling to brush off the spiders that were crawling onto him.

"Hold still," Tobi said, ignoring the spiders on him (he immediately recognized them as Aburame spiders and knew he wasn't in danger... he also had to get adjusted to all sorts of bugs during his stay with Madara in the cave...), and starting to brush out the spiders off of Mia.

Mia shuddered. "They're crawling up me. They're crawling up me."

Tobi stepped back. "Hold your breath, Mia. Suiton: Bakudon!"

Water formed at where Tobi held his two fingers in front of his mouth, and immediately water rushed out of it. He kept it at a low-level, just enough to wash all the spiders off of her and drown the majority of them.

Mia spluttered, looking down at her ruined costume and shuddering. "That was... ooooooh I'm officially an arachnophobic now."

Tobi patted her shoulder consolingly and Iruka cleared his throat. "Are you okay, Mia-chan?"

"I-I'm fine. Nervous, is all."

"Would you like to hold my—"

Tobi 'tripped' into Iruka, hard enough to send the man sprawling to the floor. "Oopsie! Tobi's sorry."

Mia sweatdropped and shuddered, recalling the fear of the spiders all over her. "Nasty. Nasty. Nasty."

Tobi offered his hand to her. "Don't worry, Mia. Tobi won't let anything hurt you!"

Mia blushed and took his offered hand. "Thanks, 'Obi."

Iruka grumbled under his breath, staring sulkily at their hands.

"Let's continue on," Tobi said, starting to head back down the hallway.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Sakura patted a mourning Shino. The two of them had watched everything transpire through the eyes of one of the portraits in the wall. "There, there. We won't let your family's bugs deaths be in vain. We'll scare them so bad, they'll have regretted coming in here!"

Shino only nodded.

Hidan smirked a little ways from them. "Well, shit. This looks like things are about to get interesting."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The two turned down another hallway, Iruka trailing behind them and still glaring at their hands.

The first door on their right creaked open and the trio stopped, turning to look inside. Mia gave a whine, and hid behind Tobi. "Oh, hell no. The Ring already scarred me enough!"

It was a child's room.

Tobi patted her shoulder, completely unbothered because he had never seen the movie before and had absolutely no intentions of seeing it. Iruka, also not bothered by it, peered inside. "No one's inside..."

Tobi let go of Mia's hand long enough to enter the room and survey it. Iruka mimicked is action, and Mia stood alone in the hallway, still shuddering from the spider incident.

Her eyes widened and she screamed in surprise when two arms wrapped around her.

Both men whirled around, only to find Mia gone.

"Mia?!" Tobi asked, his eyes wide as he frantically looked around.

"We have to—"

Tobi had already sprinted off in the darkness, leaving Iruka.

"... save her," Iruka finished quietly.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When Mia was released, she was in a completely different part of the house.

She was breathing heavily, her eyes darting around. It was dark. Too dark. Dark enough she couldn't even see the hand in front of her face.

She groped around the room, biting her bottom lip and regretting very dearly she even stepped foot in that place.

Her foot caught onto something and she fell to the ground.

She let out a small curse, scrambling on to her backside and trying to peer at what she hit. Of course she couldn't see it, so she sat up slowly and rested her hands on the dirt floor. She moved them around until they caught hold of a the familiar object.

She frowned. It was warm, actually. Soft, too. Squishy, almost. Wet... and it smelled faintly of copper... Actually, it reminded her a lot of a...

Her heart stopped. She groped around the object, traveling up it... feeling the thigh, then the torso, and at its neck, she stopped.

Because there was no head.

Mia started panicking. Fear and adrenaline coursing through her.

It's not real. It's not real. This is all just an attempt to scare you. Don't panic. Don't panic.

And suddenly the lights flickered on and Mia had only a second to see the mangled corpse.

It was a corpse that looked exactly like herself.

She screamed.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Would you stop that already?" Iruka muttered, having finally caught up to Tobi.

Tobi had kept 'accidentally' tripping Iruka.

"Tobi doesn't know what—"

"You do, you're just being an ass!" Iruka argued. "I get it, okay? You like Mia, too."

"Tobi does not..."

Iruka gave Tobi a very dry look before he sighed. "I don't blame you or anything. She seems to like you, too..."

Tobi didn't respond, choosing to head down another corridor. When a little girl popped out of a wall, her mouth dripping with blood as she smiled and opened her mouth to speak, Tobi idly cut off her head with his scythe and carried on.

Sakura, meanwhile, was starting to really hate Tobi.

"I can't blame you for liking her, too," Iruka sighed, stepping around the fallen girl. "But..."

"Tobi doesn't like Mia," Tobi muttered stubbornly.

Iruka snorted. "Y—"

A blood-curdling scream split the air and both men stopped, recognizing the voice.

Tobi clenched his hands into fists. "That's it! Tobi said told everyone that when they were making the house they weren't allowed to even touch the participants and you go around and kidnap Mia. Tobi is putting an end to this charade!"

Tobi held up his hands in his favorite fire-style.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Three minutes later...

"All that hard work... all of it burnt to an ash..." Sakura moaned as she and the other members of the Haunted House watched their beloved piece burn down.

"In fairness, we probably shouldn't have kidnapped Mia-chan," Kisame muttered to Itachi. "We Akatsuki members know how Tobi gets."

"It certainly wasn't a wise move," Sasori agreed quietly. "However Sakura really wanted to add realism to it..."

"She certainly scared the shit outta Mia," Hidan observed, watching as Mia body-hugged Tobi and absolutely refused to let go of him and how Tobi absolutely refused to let go of Mia... or allow anyone near her at the moment. "Look at Tobi. He's all fucking paranoid now."

"It's going to take a while to calm him down," Itachi sighed, his voice coming out muffled from the mask he wore. "He won't calm down until Mia does, and even then... he's definitely not pleased with us."

Kisame laughed quietly at that. "You can say that again. I wonder if I should go hide all my valuables now, before he gets the chance to add a 'Tobi twist' to them."

Hidan winced, still recalling the last time he pissed off the masked-man. His poor hair... "... Yeah. Fuck this shit. I'm outta here. I need to go hide my things."

As Hidan turned to leave, the other Akatsuki members considered this.

"Damn. I do, too," Kisame muttered.

"What a bother," Sasori sighed.

Itachi only appeared mildly annoyed. He knew he could hide his things as Mia's place and his friend would keep them safe from Tobi's wrath, but it was a bother. "... How annoying."

"Come, brat," Sasori beckoned, dragging a mourning Sakura away. "Let's get you something to eat. I know you haven't had dinner, yet."

"All that work..." Sakura whined.

"Yes, yes, I know..."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Mia—still clinging onto Obito for dear life—gave a tired yawn.

Obito patted her back, adjusting her so he could open the apartment door. "Come on, Mia. Let's get you inside."

"It's been so long since I was able to have a Halloween," Mia mumbled, tugging off her wig. "Thank you, Obito."

"Mn," Obito murmured. "Where's Naruto?"

"Hell if I know," Mia yawned, slowly releasing her hold on Obito. She started tugging off her costume and heading towards the bathroom. On the way, she found a sticky note on the door. "Oh. He's staying over at Sasuke-chan's place tonight with the rest of the boys. They're having a movie-marathon."

"Just us tonight, then?" Obito asked.

Mia didn't respond for a while, until she was dressed in her t-shirt—actually it was Obito's, but he left it there, so that automatically made it forfeit—and sweats. Obito was already changed out into his t-shirt and sweats and was laying down in the bed, an arm slung over his face.

Mia sat on top of him and he lazily peered up at her.

"Seriously," Mia said, smiling warmly at him. "Thanks. I might have been scared witless, tonight, and I'm probably scarred for life, but... but it's still a piece of home to me. So... thanks."

Obito stared up at her before he lifted his hand and brushed back some hair from her face. His hand lingered a moment or two on her cheek. "Mn... We, uh... we should probably get some sleep, though."

Mia nodded her head. "Yeah... I'm body-hugging you tonight, though. I hope you realize that."

"I realize that and I am perfectly fine with that."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Yeah. I had way too much fun with jealous!Tobi for the omake.

Answer: Hinata is Neji's Cousin / Naruto is Hinata's weakness, I think. That was the first episode of Rock Lee and his Ninja Pals I watched, so I'm biased. I liked the Akatsuki ones, too.

Question: Two characters you absolutely despiiiiiiiise in Naruto?

Reviews are love!