Disclaimer: Kukuku. I don't own Naruto.

Warning: Language. Innuendos. Gore. Hints of torture. Death. Kissy-kiss. Romance. Etc.

Beta: Lavendor Queen

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Naruto's POV

Naruto was breathing heavily, his hands clenched into fists as he stood outside the mountain. Sakura was on his left, and Sasuke on his right. Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu and Jiraiya stood behind the trio.

This was it.

This was where that kidnapper was.

Naruto could feel his anger spike and his fingernails dug so deep into his palms, they pierced the skin.

"We'll split up," Kakuzu said, his voice coming out in a low rumble. "Hidan, with me. We'll go around the right side of the cliff. Deidara, Sasori, Sakura, you go up and over. Kisame, and Jiraiya, take the left. Naruto, Sasuke... you'll go down the road, straight to the base. Let's get this over with."

"Hang on, Kaa-chan," Naruto said quietly. "I'm coming for you."

Jiraiya moved past Naruto, placing a hand on his shoulder before exchanging glances with Kisame. "Let's go, Big Blue."

Kisame laughed, jumping down from the tree to the ground and running out of the forest. Jiraiya jumped down, following behind him. The two turned left at the massive cliff, the peak of the cliff looming above them.

"Sakura," Sasori said, cocking his head. "Come."

"Hai!" Sakura exclaimed, clenching her hands into fists and following after her sensei. Deidara summoned up a clay bird and the puppeteers both jumped up onto it.

Naruto didn't say anything more, just sprinting straight down the middle. Sasuke followed right behind him.

Hidan snorted. "Man. What an annoyance. I can kill anyone, right, Kakuzu?"

"As painfully as you'd like."

Hidan grinned.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 6, Night, Obito's POV

Keep calm, Obito, Obito thought to himself, finally setting down X's letter. Anger will only cloud your judgement. You need to think clearly to find X. Just... Just lay down, close your eyes, and count backwards from one-hundred until you're calm.

Obito laid back on his bed, turning his head to look at his nightstand. The picture of Mia stared back at him, green eyes sparkling. Another spike of anger churned in his gut and he forced himself to close his eyes and look away.

One-hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. Ninety-seven...

Slowly, Obito began to count backwards. As he did, the hot anger he felt slowly cooled, turning into more of a frozen rage. But, in the process, he started to feel drowsy. He technically hadn't slept in about a week, and while he could get by a couple more days without sleep, it was getting more difficult to stay awake.

She would scold me if she knew I hadn't slept, Obito thought softly. He could practically hear her voice.

"Honestly, Tobi, what are you thinking? No sleep for a week? You grouched to me when I didn't sleep the days before my finals, so don't you be a hypocrite and give me that bullshit! March your booty to our room, strip off those pants and shirt and get your ass in bed."

Then Obito would say: "... Why do I have to strip?"

Mia would then roll her eyes, huffing, as if the answer were the most obvious thing in the world. "Because I deserve a little payment for having to put up with your insanity! Now show me that sexiness."

Obito would, of course, become flustered and stammer out some defense against his strippings. He would strip in the end, naturally. It's not like he hadn't slept in just his boxers before, and he knew Mia wouldn't do anything (or force anything... or imply anything, really) he was actually uncomfortable with. Besides, it was always nice to feel desired.

She would push him into the bed, strip down to her cammie and undies then crawl in after him. He would say, "Don't be so indecent."

Mia would stick her tongue out at him and curl up next to him, but neither would argue about their positions or circumstances. Although Obito would never admit it, he loved feeling Mia against him. It was like a constant reminder that he wasn't alone. With her beside him, the nightmares never came.

Her heartbeat was his perfect lullaby most of the time.

Not that he would ever tell her that.

Obito would usually wait about five minutes before Mia had fallen asleep. He would stay up a bit longer, staring up at the ceiling (which was the real reason why he had a skylight installed in Mia's room - he preferred the stars over the ceiling any day). He wouldn't really think, or dream, per say, so much as just... be.

There was no plans, motives, lies, hurt or love in those times. There just... was. There was just Obito. There was just Mia. And there were just the stars.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

When his eyes would grow heavy, and he was ready to sleep, he would always pull her closer to him. Not because he wanted her closer, so much as because he just needed reassurance that she was still there; that she wasn't just some figment in his imagination.

Just thinking about the scenario caused Obito to let out a large yawn.

Obito let out a soft sigh, his body finally sagging from the weight of stress he had been facing for the past week.

Maybe when I open my eyes, it'll just have been a bad dream.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 6, Evening, Kakashi's POV

Kakashi faltered in his sprinting, looking up and finding Zetsu appearing from a tree.

"Hello, Kakashi," Zetsu greeted. "Just checking up on everyone. Where are you headed?"

Kakashi hesitated a moment before shrugging. "I want to see if I can track down X. My latest information on him said he was going to Sōgen no Mura."

Zetsu's eyes widened. "That's... interesting. Thank you, Kakashi."

"How is everyone?"

"Fine," Zetsu said. "The Akatsuki, as well as Naruto, Jiraiya and Sasuke have eliminated Hiruko. I would imagine Tobi is going to Sōgen no Mura, too."

"Then maybe I'll see him there," Kakashi said softly.

"Maybe," Zetsu muttered, disappearing into the tree.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Jiraiya & Kisame

Jiraiya and Kisame both stopped short about halfway around the cliff. The ground beneath them erupted and they were forced to jump back. A man, spinning like a drill, flew up into the air before coming back down.

Jiraiya took one look at him and whistled. "I'm going to take a wild guess and say you're into bondage, what with what you're wearing."

The man scoffed. "I can't let you pass, you know. The master isn't ready."

"Master?" Kisame echoed. "A little S&M action going on, too?"

His eyes narrowed dangerously and he bit his thumb, slamming the palm of his hand into the ground. "Kuchiyose, Soutouja!"

Navy blue dual-headed snakes erupted from the smoke, hissing and spitting furiously as they dove towards the duo. The man grinned. "Dakoumou!"

Then both of the snakes spat out a tongue, which was actually another pair of dual-headed snakes, and those snakes spat out dual-headed snakes...

"That's just nasty," Jiraiya whined.

"I got it," Kisame said, sucking in a big gulp of air before bellowing several shark bombs. Each attack hit one of the masses and when the smoke cleared from the attack, the snakes were gone. "I thought Sasuke was the only living person with the snake contract."

"Well, Orochimaru is pretty old. Maybe he's not completely asexual and had a bastard son," Jiraiya suggested.

Kisame looked disgusted by that. "That's gross."

"Hmph," the man said. "You two aren't as bad at combat as you look."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kisame demanded. "Mia says I'm the sexiest blue person she's ever met, I'll have you know."

"I think you're the only blue person she's met," Jiraiya reasoned. "Which also means you're the ugliest blue person she's met."

"Don't take that compliment away from me, Big White."

Jiraiya grinned. "Sorry, Big Blue. What do you say we finish this just like we finished that drinking game last time?"

"Stripping drunk on a table?" Kisame asked, confused.

"No. In style."

Kisame laughed, pulling out his Samehada. "That's a good idea, Big White."

Jiraiya grinned. "After you, then, Big Blue."

Kisame laughed again, swinging his Samehada and sprinting towards the snake-man. He swung his massive sword at the man and the man's arm transformed into a hardened, navy blue snake. Samehada's sharp scales struck out against the bandages, digging into the snake.

The man's eyes widened and he jumped back. "Wh... What did you do? My chakra...?"

"I'll let you figure that one out for yourself," Kisame said, grinning maniacally. "In the meantime, Big White and I will be slicing you up into itty-bitty pieces, keheheh."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

?, ?, ?

There was whiteness. Just whiteness. Even the sound wrapping around him was... whiteness. He was on his knees, staring at nothing, but the whiteness. He was alone. No one was around for kilometers upon kilometers.

He swallowed roughly, blinking slowly.

And then Rin and young Obito stood in front of him.

The older Obito stared at the two, his mind going blank and white like the landscape that surrounded them.

"What are you doing, being such an idiot?" young Obito demanded, his cheeks puffing out. "You have a total babe all over you and you're just wasting it! Man, I thought I was going to be cool when I grew up!"

Rin giggled.

The older Obito missed that giggle. He found his eyes resting on her. He wanted to tell her something. He wanted to ask her something. Yet his tongue wouldn't move, all he could do was stare at her.

"Obito-kun, don't be so silly," Rin said gently, her eyes dancing with warmth. "But he has a point, Obito-san. What are you doing?"

"Fixing the world," Obito-san said.

He frowned after the words escaped his lips. It seemed wrong. That answer, somehow, seemed wrong.

Rin shook her head, her brow furrowed as she looked saddened. "Obito-san, you're not fixing anything like this."

Obito-kun grinned brightly. "Come on! You're supposed to be the next Hokage! Dump the Akatsuki, already. Come back to Konoha and be with Mia-chan."

Obito-san stared blankly at Obito-kun. "I thought you loved Rin."

Obito-kun rolled his eyes. "Well, duh. I'll always love Rin, but that doesn't mean I'll always be in love with her."

Rin giggled. "For such a dummy, that's an insightful statement."

Obito-kun preened before he realized what Rin had said. He blushed brightly. "R-Rin-chan!"

Rin smiled warmly at both Obitos. "Obito-san, I know you'll always love me. I know what you've done, and while I don't... I don't really agree with everything you've done, I know you did it because you thought it was right. You'll always have my support, Obito-san, because I just want you to be happy, too. You deserve to be happy, Obito-san."

"I let you die," Obito-san whispered.

"I was meant to die, and I chose to die," Rin said gently. "You can't pay for my mistakes anymore, Obito-san. Besides..."

Rin trailed off, glancing at Obito-kun and smiling fondly. "Obito-kun is right, you know? I know you'll always love me, and I'll always love you. But I will never be in love with you Obito-san, just like you aren't in love with me now."

Obito-san's eyes widened. "No. That's not true. That's not true at all, Rin-chan, I - "

She raised her hand, cupping his cheek and smiling softly. "Obito-san, would I lie to you?"

"No, but I - "

"Then why are you denying this?" Rin asked quietly.

"'Cause he's an idiot," Obito-kun declared. Rin giggled again, using her other hand to cover her mouth.

"There's nothing to deny," Obito-san said firmly. "I'm only in love with you, Rin-chan. I only... I only like Mia."

"Is that your final choice?" Rin asked.

"Yes."

"Obito-san, you're a horrible liar," Rin said, lifting her hand away from his cheek and placing it on his head, "but that's okay. You regret my death, I know. But whose death would you regret the most now, I wonder?"

Obito-san's brow furrowed. "What...?"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Sakura, Deidara & Sasori

"Ah, so it's you guys who chose to come this way," a young woman purred. "I was hoping it'd be you. My babies have been itching to play with such strapping young men."

Sakura's eyes narrowed dangerously and she positioned herself in front of Sasori. "Oh. Hell. No. Bitch, you're mine. Dibs on this one. I want her body as my latest puppet."

"It's all yours, Sakura," Sasori said smoothly, hopping off of Deidara's bird. Deidara grinned and did the same.

"Here, Sakura, use my bird, un," Deidara offered.

Sakura smiled brightly at both them before hopping on top of the bird. She pulled out a red scroll and unraveled it. In a puff of smoke, three puppets appeared. A puppet of a deformed bird, a scorpion and a snake.

The scorpion was the bulkiest, comprised hardened, black, chakra metal. It clattered when it moved, its red eyes glowing and the tip of its tail dripping with some sort of red liquid. The snake was the longest, entirely wooden, dyed to a dark purple. It wasn't the strongest, but it was the most flexible. Small – toothpick small – spikes covered every centimeter of its form, the exception being the underside. The toothpicks were pricked with acidic poisons – acidic only when it came into contact with flesh. The bird was smallest, roughly the same size as Sakura herself. It was wooden underneath, but red feathers covered every inch of its form. It was the fastest.

"One touch of my poison and your precious pets are history," Sakura cooed, hopping up onto Deidara's bird.

The woman sneered. "That's if you can catch them."

Sakura's fingers twitched and the snake darted forward, opening its mouth and letting out a spray of acid at the summoned beasts. The beasts leapt up into the air, and the bird dove for them.

Unable to dodge in mid-air, the bird's claws scraped across both their faces, more specifically, their eyes. The beasts howled in pain, falling down the ground where the snake sprayed even more acid on them.

"My servants... How dare you?!" the woman snarled. "Come my servants!" The woman slammed her palms together and in a puff of smoke another beast appeared beneath her. Before Sakura could even process what kind of creature it was, the woman called out, "Chimera no Jutsu!"

Sakura blinked in surprise when she found that the woman had merged with her newly summoned beast, the upper half of her body sticking out from the top of the turtle's head. She held out a whip, a bloodthirsty gleam in her eyes. "Now comes the fun part."

"Oh, please," Sakura said, rolling her eyes. She guided Deidara's bird to circle around the woman.

Sakura's bird puppet dove down to the woman and the woman laughed. "Give me a break!"

She swung her whip, but stopped short and glanced back to find that the scorpion had wrapped its tail around it, stopping it. She sneered and was forced to release her whip, so she could dodge the bird's attack.

"It's over for you," Sakura said, smiling pleasantly. Her snake puppet darted around the turtle, wrapping around and digging its poisoned spikes into it. "With that body, you're too slow to keep up with me."

The woman glared up at Sakura. "Hmph! I don't need to be fast to – "

Her eyes widened, her mouth opening into a small little o. The scorpion had dug its tail through her chest from her back.

"Bye-bye," Sakura sung, jumping off from the bird and swinging down a leg. She connected her leg as hard as she could against the woman's head, effectively decapitating her.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

?, ?, ?

He only needed the Kyuubi.

The one inside of Naruto.

Mia didn't like it. Naruto was her son. But she couldn't hurt him. She wouldn't hurt him. She loved him fiercely, and she loved Naruto just as fiercely. She wouldn't voice the attack or the betrayal, so wrapped up in her own guilt.

She was supposed to be on the sidelines, far, far away from the battlegrounds.

He was almost complete in his endeavour. Naruto was on his knees, his clothes torn and bloody. He was out of breath and at the brink of exhaustion. Their army had fallen, unsurprisingly.

He was running. Sprinting, even, towards the Kyuubi. He just needed it, he just needed a tiny bit of it and then it would be all over. The genjutsu would come to life and the world would become safe. He could finally be happy.

He really wanted to be happy.

His hand jabbed out towards Naruto, his fingers pointed.

But there was something in his way.

It was soft. Easily breakable. It shattered underneath his force and he sliced through it with ease.

Too much ease.

He saw.

He saw what he stabbed through.

It was... it was... Rin?

He was Kakashi now. The Chidori flaring to life from his right hand. The rain pelted hard against him. Rin was staring at him with those wide, dimming eyes. She croaked out Kakashi's name and then the scene shifted and he was Tobi again.

It wasn't Rin.

There was no Chidori crackling to life.

There was no shock, wide eyes.

There were soft eyes.

Eyes that loved and hurt.

And there was blood.

Lots of blood.

His breathing was becoming harder, more labored. He realized what had happened. He yanked his redredred hand out of her chest and he caught her as she fell. She was choking on her own blood, her eyes growing more and more lifeless.

"No," he whispered. "No, no. No, no!"

He was rocking back and forth, cradling her. Not again. No. No. Not her. Not her. Anyone... anyone, but her. Not... Not...

"No!" he screamed, his sight blurring. "Not you. Oh, God, Mia, please. Not you. Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me."

"Kaa-chan?" Naruto whispered, his voice cracked. "Kaa-chan, please...?"

"Please don't leave me," he moaned, pressing his forehead against hers. "Mia, please..."

"Kaa-chan... Kaa-chan, no... you... she trusted you!"

He shook his head, grief tearing into him. It wasn't fair. Not her. Anyone, but her.

He - he - he just -

"Please, Mia," Obito whispered. "Not you. I need you."

With a gasp, Obito shot up from his bed, his eyes wide and breath coming into a heaving pant. Sweat dotted his brow and he had to blink several times from the disorientation.

"Tobi? We have news for you."

Obito swallowed roughly. "Yes?"

"We know where X is."

But whose death would you regret the most now, I wonder?

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Naruto & Sasuke

Naruto stared down at Hiruko's body.

Hiruko was planning to steal all the kekkai genkai's for himself. His plan wasn't supposed to come into motion for several more months. He wasn't ready. He was weak.

Sasuke stood next to Naruto, staring down at the body, as well.

Naruto swallowed roughly. "He didn't... he didn't even know about Kaa-chan."

Sasuke did not respond.

"She... She's not here, is she?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. He kept them closed, even as Naruto's bowed his head and his body trembled.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 6, Night, Obito's POV

He appeared, his feet touching on the grass as his eyes scanned over the village. But something in his peripheral vision caught his eye, and he turned his head and... there she was.

Mia.

Just standing there, overlooking the village.

He staggered.

She's safe, Obito thought. She's... she's not hurt. She's alive and she's...

I almost lost her.

I almost lost any chance I had with her...

We could have been happy. I could have been happy.

And then she noticed him and he saw her eyes and his mind went blank.

I almost forgot how green they are.

Obito started moving to her, slowly at first, but then began to pick up speed.

She could have been dead.

He was starting to take off his mask.

She could have been broken beyond repair.

He threw it off the side.

And she never would have known - she - she would have been like Rin.

He tackled Mia to the ground.

She could have died without knowing anything about how I -

... about how much I'm stubbornly, idiotically, stupidly in love with her.

Damn it, Mia. What did you do to me?

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 6, Night, Mia's First Person POV

"I'm going to go ahead and grab some dinner," X said, staring out at the village from a hilltop. "Want anything?"

I glanced over at the rising moon, and frowned thoughtfully. "Sure. Bring it back up here. It's too nice to not eat here. I'll have whatever you're having."

"Sure thing, sweetie," X said easily, flickering down the hill and entering the village. I watched him leave until he was out of sight before I gave a wide smile and stretched my arms above my shoulder. The next mission wouldn't take place for a while longer (as our target, who was supposed to be resting in this village on their trip hadn't arrived yet), and we had time to kill.

I idly adjusted my kimono and took off my shoes, standing in the soft grass bare-footed.

And that's when I noticed him.

One moment he wasn't there, and the next he was.

He stood there, staring at me and my eyes widened.

"Tobi?" I asked hesitantly, frowning slightly.

He took a step towards me, moving almost robotically. And then he was sprinting towards me, running across the hill and throwing his mask off. And before I could even react to the fact that he took his mask off in public, his lips were on mine and he had tackled me into the ground.

My mind went blank as my heart thudded and my stomach flip-flopped. Every inch of my body was singing praises and I felt kind of tingly. All I could think of at that moment was that Tobi was kissing me.

Fiercely, too, might I add. His lips pressed down on me and one hand ran through my hair while the other trailed further down. It took me several moments to finally finish processing what the hell was happening before I all too happily closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck.

Far too quickly for my liking, he pulled back, his cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling. He straddled me and bent down for another kiss, this one more gentle and quick. He rested his forehead against mine, his nose brushing against mine. Softly, he said, "I found you."

"I am very glad you did," I said, dazed.

He smiled at me and kissed me again. His left hand cupped my cheek, his thumb brushing gently under my eye. "Do you..." he kissed me again. "... have any..." again, he kissed me, "idea how much trouble this has been?"

"I take it the good kind of trouble?" I asked, still bewildered.

Tobi shook his head, looking almost bemused.

"So, uh... can I ask what brought this on?" I asked hopefully. "I have to say I really like this treatment and want a repeat. Multiple repeats. Many multiple repeats."

He gave a strained chuckle. "I just... I really thought I lost you there, Mia. And I started thinking... Mia... there's so much I still don't know about you. And there's so much I want to experience with you. Just you. And... And I don't know."

"So... so does this mean we're...?" I looked up with hope.

Tobi closed his eyes, moving down to kiss the bottom of my jaw. "What do you think?"

I bit my lip, my heart fluttering. "Don't mess with me like this, Obito. I swear if you're going to back down..."

"No. I'm not running away from you anymore. I don't want to risk losing you like I almost did, and I don't want to chance not giving us a try."

My heart was pounding loudly in my head as Tobi looked up at me, catching my eyes with his. "Mia, will you join me tonight on a date?"

Unable to properly form coherent words, I only nodded my head, brought my arms around Tobi and pulled him in for another kiss.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Hidan & Kakuzu

"Fuck!" was the only word Hidan could say before he blew up.

Kakuzu, who had hardened his skin in time and thus became invulnerable, stared blankly at his partner. He calmly watched as Hidan started to howl every single curse he knew, before he finally decided to look up. A man on some sort of bat summon was grinning down at them.

"I guess my aim wasn't good enough," the man said.

Kakuzu stared blankly at him, before he glanced down at Hidan who had lost his head, his right arm, and both his legs. "... No. It was. Hidan is just... very difficult to kill. Trust me. I know. I've tried."

His threads slowly came out of his arm, and Kakuzu guided his threads to Hidan's severed body parts. He began to stitch his partner back together while the flying man frowned at them.

"Immortal? That's going to be annoying."

"You have no idea how annoying this immortal is," Kakuzu muttered darkly.

Hidan, now back together, glared furiously up at the flying man. "What the hell, you fucking shit-face?! What the hell are you wearing? Oh, Jashin, are you one of those weird bondage people?"

"Says the S&M freak," Kakuzu muttered.

Hidan sneered at him. "You're only defending him because you're into that weird shit, too!"

Kakuzu slammed his fist against Hidan's cheek, knocking off the immortal's head. "I think I'll do this fight on my own. Now shut up."

"Oi! Kakuzu! The hell man?! Put me back together. Hey. Hey!"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 6, Night, Mia's First Person POV

"What the hell? Get your own fake-time-travelling wife," X said with an accusing tone. Tobi's face was currently buried in my neck, and he didn't respond when X moved to stand above us. I looked up at X, retracting my right arm from around Tobi to wiggle my fingers in hello.

"I want a divorce," I told X seriously.

X gave a small whine. "But I'm such a catch."

"I know. But my heart belongs to another. It's been fun."

"X," Tobi mumbled into my neck, tickling me in the process, "I'm in a good mood at the moment. And it was because of your interveinal that Mia never had to deal with Kabuto."

"Kabuto? I thought you killed him," I said, my eyes narrowing.

Somehow sensing danger, Tobi kissed my neck, "Later, Mia."

"Don't think I'll let this slide, Tobi," I threatened darkly, but I don't think he was all that intimidated when he tickled me again and I giggled.

"So I'll let you get a nice head start. Because tomorrow morning, when I'm done here, I will hunt you down and break both your legs."

X snorted. "Whatever. I can take the hint. Until next time, Mia."

"Later, X. Thanks for kidnapping me and please do it again!"

"Don't do it again," Tobi muttered.

"I'll do it again," X promised before he flickered away.

Tobi pulled away from me, still sitting on me and smiling mischievously. "Shall we take this some place else?"

"Where?" I asked, as Tobi rolled off me. "Oh. You mean back to Konoha. Yeah, you're probably right. We should head back - if the others are anywhere near as worried as you were, it would be for the best."

Tobi shook his head standing up and picking me up. "Mm... Nah. Let them worry. Tonight, I want you all to myself."

"What? Then where are we going?"

"You'll see."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Jiraiya & Kisame

Kisame and Jiraiya stared at the pile of mush.

Because that's all that was left of their opponent.

Mush.

Gooey, gooey, burning, mush.

"We're just too much to handle, I guess," Jiraiya sighed.

"First we blow up the bar, and now we blow this guy up," Kisame said, shaking his head. "Oh, well. It was fun."

"Yeah," Jiraiya agreed. "Surprisingly... it was. Always a pleasure, Big Blue."

"Same to you, Big White. Let's go catch up with the others now and rescue Mia."

"Sounds good."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Day 5, Evening, Kakuzu & Hidan

Kakuzu squashed the heart in his hands. "... Tt. Not even worth replacing. Let's go, Hidan."

"Fucking put me back together, then!"

"What? I can't hear you. I guess I'll just see you there," Kakuzu said, walking away.

"Hey! Hey! Come back here. JASHIN DAMN IT KAKUZU! FUCKING PUT ME BACK TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

I drew a scene from this chapter - in my deviantART gallery, as per usual. HMM... You know.. this kind of signifies that the story is coming closer to an end.

Answer: First, Harry Potter, then Naruto, then Pokemon. Because after Naruto, I will NEED that extra fluff.

Question: Oh no! Your top ten favorite characters OF ALL TIME have turned into kittens and invaded your home. Only you can turn them back to their original self with a hug and hot water. Who are they?

Reviews are love!

BONUS OMAKE BECAUSE I'M NOT UPDATING 'TIL AFTER FINALS / MAYBE UNTIL AFTER NEW YEARS. SO HERE YOU GO. ENJOY THE CRACKY FLUFF.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Come on, Tsunade-sama snap out of it," Shizune pleaded.

"Is something wrong?" Gai asked, entering the Hokage office. He blinked in surprise when he found none other than Tsunade curled up under a blanket, her head resting on the table as a blue gloom loomed above her. Shizune stood in front of her, fretting over her.

"Just look," Shizune said, gesturing to her.

Gai gasped. "What's the matter, Tsunade-sama?!"

"It's so cold..."

"Well, a cold front's coming through," Shizune murmured.

Tsunade sighed. "I've been cooped up in here thinking about how cold my wallet will feel until payday, and how I've wasted my life amassing debt upon debt, and it's left my heart cold and depressed. I don't even wanna move until it warms up."

Sasori and Deidara stood just outside the door, exchanging the glances. As the Akatsuki ambassadors for Konoha, they had to visit the Hokage regularly for reports and meetings, and they had tagged along with Gai for their visit today.

"Oi, oi," Deidara said, frowning as he entered the room, "a Hokage isn't supposed to be so down, un."

Sasori scoffed. "It's bad moral for the village."

Gai nodded in agreement. "That's right! We'll just have to come up with a way to unthaw your heart, Tsunade-sama."

Tsunade sighed. "You can try."

"Maybe an art show, un," Deidara suggested.

Sasori sneered, "As if your art is good enough – "

"That's it!" Gai shouted. "I know just what to do!"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Mia fretted over Naruto, pulling his scarf tighter around his neck. "Are you sure you don't need mittens? I have an extra set."

"Kaa-chan," Naruto whined. "You're embarrassing me."

Sasuke smirked. "Please. You embarrass yourself all the time."

"Mia-chan, leave the poor boy alone," Tobi sighed. Naruto looked triumphant as Tobi slowly pulled Mia away from Naruto and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Sakura giggled at the display. "Besides, Naruto's head so filled with hot air, he'll have no trouble staying warm."

Naruto shot her a nasty glare and Sasuke smirked at her.

"There you are."

The five glanced up to see Sasori heading towards them. Sakura's eyes lit up and she hurried forward. "Sasori-sensei!"

Sasori frowned at her. "Sakura-chan, why aren't you wearing any gloves? And where's your scarf? You'll catch a cold."

Sakura flushed. "Sorry."

"Here, sweetie, I have an extra set," Mia offered, producing a pair of pink mittens.

Naruto looked horrified. "You were going to make me wear those?"

"Hinata-chan made them for me," Mia said brightly.

"Oh, well, if Hina-chan made them..." Naruto trailed off, smiling.

"Down boy, down," Sasuke snorted, hitting him over the head.

Sakura slipped on the mittens. "What's up, Sasori-sensei?"

"We're all going down to training grounds six," Sasori said patiently. "And yes, you have to go."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"... And that's why we're holding a snow sculpting contest!" Gai exclaimed.

"Well, it certainly seems like fun," Iruka said brightly.

"Hmph. Ice-sculpting isn't real art, but it'll have to do, un," Deidara said, sharing a glance with Ino. Ino smirked.

"Exactly. But if it's for Tsunade-sama..."

"And it beats grading papers," Iruka said.

Shikamaru sighed. "I don't know, this whole thing seems troublesome."

Sasuke snorted. "Everything is too troublesome for you."

Sasori and Sakura chuckled at that.

Naruto smiled at Hinata and she blushed brightly. "What do you think, Hinata-chan?"

"I-I think it sounds like fun."

"Yosh! Make a splendid sculpture that will warm Tsunade-sama's heart," Gai continued.

"It's too cold for all this hopped-up hype," Tsunade muttered, looking away coldly. "Just get on with it."

A cold wind blew through everyone.

"Tsunade-sama's eyes show that she's not expecting anything good. What a cold gaze," Lee said, frowning.

"It's so cold, it physically froze us," Tenten added.

"I'm starting to regret not wearing those mittens," Naruto muttered.

Mia huddled closer to Tobi, her brow furrowed. "I think I should have brought an extra scarf."

"Mia-cha can share this one with Tobi," Tobi said slyly.

Naruto glared at both of them before pointedly stepping in and hugging Mia. He stuck his tongue out at Tobi.

"Hinata-chan," Tobi whined.

Hinata gave Naruto a shy smile. "N-Naruto-kun, d-do you want t-to share your scarf with me?"

Naruto beamed and rushed over to her, only for Neji to incapacitate him with his 64-Palm Rotation. Neji glared at him. "Denied!

"Maybe this snow-sculpting thing wasn't such a good idea," Tenten murmured.

"Looks like you all aren't motivated enough," Gai observed. "Then I'll have to come up with a prize that'll light fires under all your rear-ends!"

Naruto snorted, picking himself back up. "Meh, it's just gonna be some lame coupon or a day off."

"No, no, no, it's much more romantic than that," Gai said, a gleam in his eyes. "... A kiss."

"... Huh?" Mia deadpanned.

"The winner of this contest will earn the right to kiss whomever they want!" Gai exclaimed.

Silence fell throughout the clearing, until –

"That's ridiculous," Tenten shrieked.

"Wait! Do you mean a protected kiss?" Naruto demanded desperately. "As in, no insanely overprotective family member can cockblock you?!"

Neji gasped as Gai nodded his head. Naruto and Hinata exchanged excited glances. Neji looked despairingly at Hinata.

"A-And it can be with anyone?" Iruka asked, looking shyly over at Mia. Mia, who didn't notice this, was too busy giggling at the entire situation, while Tobi, who did, glared darkly at Iruka.

"Anyone," Gai said.

"Even if it costs me my life, I'll win this contest and kiss Sakura!" Lee exclaimed.

"What," Sasori deadpanned and Sakura cringed. "No one is kissing my student!"

Sakura's eyes widened and she stole a glance at Sasori. "... Anyone, huh?"

Sasori, who definitely didn't notice this, started to pull out several poisoned needles. Deidara rubbed the back of his head and Ino's eyes took a fire to them. Ino declared, "I'm all for this!"

Meanwhile, an entire group of fangirls were squealing over being able to kiss Sasuke. Sasuke shuddered. "Oh, ****."

"This is going to be fun," Mia chirped, looking slyly over at Tobi. Tobi gave her a sheepish look, before continuing to glare darkly at Iruka.

Gai stood up on the stage, shouting into a megaphone. "Who wants to go all the way to the top?!"

"Me!" shouted Naruto, Hinata, Lee, Ino, Sakura, Mia, and Iruka.

"No!" exclaimed Sasori, Tobi, Neji, and Sasuke.

"Who wants a kiss?!"

"Me!"

"No!"

"Then start!"

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"With their minds a torrent of emotion," narrated Shizune as she, Tsunade and Tenten sat at the judging table, "the contestants begin working!"

"Let your youthful passions guide you!" Gai exclaimed.

"No way in hell," Sasori snarled.

Tobi muttered darkly under his breath. "That cheeky Iruka... shoulda' killed him when I had the chance."

"Hehe, this is so much fun," Mia giggled, as Kakashi assisted her in building her sculpture. He wasn't actually in the contest, but seeing how Mia had the disadvantage of not being able to sculpt as quickly as the others (as they could sculpt with their chakra), he decided to help out.

Kakashi gave her an eye-smile. "Mn. I used to build snowmen with my Tou-san, you know."

Mia gave a surprised look. "I didn't know that. I did, too!"

"Hehehe," Naruto giggled, "Hina-chan, prepare yourself!"

"I'm so going to win this," Ino said smugly, "Deidara-sensei's taught me all about sculpting."

Sakura snorted. "Please. Sasori-sensei is the superior artist, so I'm bound to win this thing."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Done!" Sakura called out, just as Ino did.

Sakura's sculpture was that of Sasori, and Ino's sculpture was that of Deidara. Ony Sakura's sculpture had Sasori standing over a beaten-up Deidara, and Ino's sculpture had Deidara standing over a blown-up Sasori.

The two girls were glaring furiously at each other.

Sakura huffed. "As if Sasori-sensei would lose to your girly sensei!"

"As if Deidara-sensei would lose to your doll sensei!"

"Sakura and Ino's piece sends shivers up from my spine," Tenten observed, sweatdropping. "You can almost taste how much they both want their sensei's to be the superior."

"What's your take, Tsunade-sama?"

Tsunade stared at the sculptures for a moment before looking away. "That's just what they want to happen."

"Your passion just wasn't enough – this piece didn't resonate with Tsunade-sama," Gai declared. "You fail!"

"Done!" Neji shouted.

Neji's sculpture was that of him in a swimsuit, wearing a summer hat and eating a popsicle. "Nothing's hotter than summer! Here's a summer scene with the sun bearing down and the sweat pouring out!"

"Another straightforward sentiment," Tenten sighed.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked.

Tsunade looked away again. "He's just begging for attention."

Neji flinched, as if struck. Gai added, "Making the scene out of snow just amplified the cold. You fail!"

"Ah, it looks like Hinata's just finished. What could it be?" Shizune narrated.

Hinata stood in front of a covered snow sculpture, looking politely away. She murmured, "Think about it. If you don't truly understand the other person, you can never hope to warm up their heart."

"Good point," Tsunade allowed.

Tenten winked. "Of course, we all know who this'll be a sculpture of."

Hinata unveiled the sculpture, and it was of a giant bouquet of origami flowers. Hinata beamed up at it, and the Akatsuki members exchanged knowing glances. It was a nod off to Hinata's sensei, Konan, who loved making bouquets of origami flowers.

"Ah, flowers, but origami flowers?" Tenten said, frowning in confusion.

"Mmn," Hinata said, giving a secret smile. "They hold a precious meaning to me, and warm my heart when I think of them."

"But it's incomprehensible to the rest of us," Tsunade muttered.

"You fail, too!" Gai declared.

"Then I guess it's my turn," Iruka said, standing next to a veiled sculpture.

"Oh, no," Tobi deadpanned, moving closer to the sculpture, "I think I'm going to sneeze."

Tobi "sneezed" a Great Fireball at Iruka's sculpture, melting it almost instantly.

"Whoopsie. Tobi's bad," Tobi sung, turning away. "Tobi's turn, now!"

Iruka glared at him, his hands moving into hand seals before he released a small fireball at Tobi's sculpture. Tobi whirled around on, his Sharingan whirling to life. "You cheeky, little..."

"Uh, Mia, un..." Deidara trailed off.

Mia sighed, grabbing Tobi's hand and towing him away. "Come on, you, you know you're not allowed to murder any Konoha shinobi."

Tobi grumbled under his breath, "Then I just won't get caught."

"My turn!" Lee exclaimed, gesturing to his sculpture of Gai.

"No," Tsunade said flatly.

Sasori hummed. "Then perhaps it's my turn."

Sasori gestured to an intricate design of ice, looping around each other in an abstract way. He had positioned it so that way when the sun caught it, the edges gleamed rainbow.

"Wow, how pretty," Tenten cooed.

"Tsunade-sama...?"

Tsunade gave a short nod. "... It's alright."

Sasori glared at her. "Alright? It's not a real work of art – it's not eternal – but it's more than alright."

"I think it looks wonderful, Sasori-sensei," Sakura said loyally. Sasori sniffed.

"At least someone other than myself has true tastes in art," Sasori said pointedly.

Ino glared at him, before she grabbed a paper bomb and threw it at his sculpture. Deidara laughed with her when it blew up. Sasori and Sakura turned on them, both pulling out puppets.

Mia and Tobi had returned, Tobi looking much more calm, with his scarf wrapped around both himself and Mia. Mia waved at Kakashi and he moved to stand beside her.

"This outta be good," Tobi commented.

Kakashi sighed and Mia giggled.

"Bring it on, pig," Sakura snarled.

"Any time, amateur,"

"NOT IN MY VILLAGE," Tsunade roared, deftly punching them all out of Konoha. Glaring furiously at everyone, she bit out, "Next."

"That would be me," Naruto said, gesturing to his. "Or, well, us. Sasuke and I teamed up for this."

It was a sculpture of Tsunade playing poker with Jiraiya, Anko and Mia. Tsunade and Mia were losing badly (as per usual), with Tobi trying to comfort Mia, Jiraiya making lewd faces at Tsunade, and Kakashi standing in the back, just sighing and reading his porn. Sasuke was hiding behind Naruto from Anko, who was trying to persuade him that Itachi was really a girl, and Naruto was hiding behind Kakashi.

Tsunade stared at the sculpture.

"Well, things may seem kind of cold now," Naruto said, shrugging, "but they haven't always been cold, right? And they won't always be cold. I just thought we could sculpt a happy moment. I mean, I know I had a lot of fun at game night."

Tsunade stared at the sculpture another moment before she smiled softly. "Hm. I guess we have our winners."

"Alright!" Gai crowd.

"No!" Neji cried out in despair.

Naruto clapped his hands with glee and rushed over to Hinata, quickly giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Naruto, I'm going to kill you!" Neji snarled, and Naruto laughed, already sprinting away.

"Ha! You'll never catch me," Naruto howled with laughter.

The fangirls squealed at Sasuke and he just rolled his eyes and moved to Mia. He kissed her cheek. "There. Thanks for whatever, Kaa-chan."

Mia cooed and kissed the top of his head. "Aww. I love you, too, Sasuke-chan."

"N-Neji-nii-san, please don't kill Naruto-kun," Hinata called after her overprotective cousin, chasing after the two.

"Well, it looks like a happy ending for most people today," Kakahi laminated. "Although, I wonder when the artist quartet will be back. Team 7 was supposed to go out on a mission this evening and we can't exactly do that if Sakura's not here."

"They'll be back eventually," Tobi reasoned, "but I wouldn't plan on leaving for the mission on time."

"Probably not," Kakashi sighed.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you all for your support. I wouldn't have come this far without you guys. Thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and I hope you have an awesome year. :)