Disclaimer: Mia is my bitch. And Tobi's, but he doesn't know that... yet.

Warning: Usual shit.

Beta: featherstofly

Second Beta: Lavendor Queen

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(First Person POV – Tobi)

I didn't mean for it to happen.

You know... you know... life can really, really suck at times. It was hard—is hard, but was especially hard at the beginning. I was an outcast to my own family, not only because I couldn't activate my Sharingan—my baby cousin activated it before me—but because I seemed hopeless as a shinobi in general. That wasn't the case, of course. It wasn't my fault. It was theirs. Their training methods were outdated and their structure crippled me. They didn't know it; I didn't know it, either. So to all appearances, I was a hopeless dead-last.

For a long while, I thought I was hopeless, too.

That was when I met her.

Her, being Rin.

I remember it being a bright day. To all accounts it should have been a good day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming... to everyone else, it seemed like, it was a good day. For me, though? For me, it wasn't. I'll spare you the exact details of why. I've tried very hard to repress my childhood; it wasn't a very pleasant thing for me. My mother died young, she died shortly after my younger brother's birth. Father always blamed Shisui for it—well, not always. When it became apparent that Shisui was such a rising prodigy, he switched that blame onto me.

Father was...my father was a very strict name. Traditional. Physical.

To all accounts... to all accounts he wasn't a very good father. He wasn't a very good man.

I still had them. The scars. The marks. Now, of course, they just look like markings from my near-death experience. Just more to add on, I suppose.

I remember that day because it was my birthday. Shisui had given me some of his candy he had bought. He was such a sweet thing. I didn't want him to die, but the ends justified the means, I thought.

I was lonely. I was tired. I was sore.

I wasn't expecting anyone else to show me the time of day, the exception being Shisui. Even my teachers at the academy just turned a blind eye when it came to me. The Uchiha, after all, were such a prestigious family. It would be preposterous if one of their own needed help—if one of their own actually wanted contact with an outsider.

Idiots.

I'm sorry, I'm getting off track. It was just a small gesture, but I suppose that was all I needed at that time. She came up to me and asked me, 'Why aren't you smiling?'

'I don't want to,' I told her.

And she smiled at me and held out a neatly wrapped box. 'It's your birthday, isn't it? I remember because you told the class during your introduction.'

What was contained in the gift wasn't important—what I needed the most at that moment was some sort of acknowledgement. I needed someone—anyone—to have noticed me. I was tired of being pushed aside by the rest of my family, and when I was noticed, it was only to be used as a dummy. I wanted someone to have paid the slightest bit of attention to me and to have liked me.

This girl—a girl I didn't even know the name of—just gave me a present. She acknowledged me, paid attention to me, and even remembered something that had been said so long ago. I didn't know what to think of her.

That was about when I started noticing her.

Her smiles. Her laughs. Her gentle demeanor. The way she moved. The way she talked.

Everything about her was just so bright and sweet. It was so vastly different than what I was used to—I was confounded to how I had missed her in the first place. It didn't take long of watching her that I eventually started to care for her. And from that point, it manufactured its way into love.

I was in love with Rin.

On the day that she died, I felt shattered. The person that had noticed me—acknowledged me—was gone. Someone who did not deserve to be gone was taken away. The one good thing that had happened to me was stolen from me.

I was furious. I hated everything and everyone at that moment and I just wanted all of it to stop. I had considered for a while just following after her. It would have been so simple—I had nothing to live for anymore, but it was Madara who persuade me to stay. To listen. To watch.

I did, and in that time I discovered just how corrupt and horrible this world really was. I had thought to myself, No wonder someone so bright as Rin never survived. She didn't stand a chance in this world.

And Madara had pointed out, that so long as the world remained as such, people like Rin would continue to die every day and every night, and people like me would lose their smiles, every day and every night.

It didn't seem fair. It didn't seem right.

So I set to make it right. I wasn't just doing this for Rin, for the girl I fell so madly in love with. I was doing it for all the Rins, and all the Obitos. Because no one deserved that kind of pain. No one deserved to have their light stolen from them.

It was true that I had to steal a couple of lights, regardless of how I felt, along the way. But in the grand scheme of things, Madara had pointed out, what's a few lights to a hundred?

I didn't mean for it to happen.

For a long, long time, I had thought she was just a figment of my imagination, just something concocted in the back of my mind to help me deal with the trauma. Because, really, what were the odds of that not being the case? I thought, perhaps, if I humored her—if I befriended her—she would go away and my mind would be at rest.

That was not the case.

When she started telling me things—things I shouldn't have known about—I was confused. It gave me pause to think that maybe, just maybe, Mia was real. But that couldn't be right—it was too strange, too alien, to even think about, so I dismissed it as just coincidences. When I started to being able to feel her world, feel her hand in my own, feel her arms around me, feel her breath on my—

—That was another thing. Her physical affections. In my world, or at least in my clan, it was frowned upon for such displays of affections—it was even more frowned upon if they weren't married in some way. I remember how awkward I was with the contact at first, but she had seemed so at ease with it, I felt like it would be wrong to deny her. Besides, she was just a figment of my imagination, so what if she was touchy?

I digress. Even when I started to be able to feel her, I still dismissed her and her world as just a very vivid fantasy. I was too set in my belief that when she fell into my arms—not too long ago—I was...conflicted.

On one hand, I was very pleased to have found a true friend. After all, Mia and I had formed a very strong connection and I knew I could trust her with anything. On the other hand, I had just told an actual person everything there was to know about me. I had confessed to her things that I wouldn't have even told Rin. I had felt so very naked, standing in front of her, her green eyes staring up at me. Never before had I felt so vulnerable and insecure and tiny in her gaze. My worries and fears were cast aside, though, when she treated me in the same manner. That even though we both realized we were very real, and we both shared our scars, and she had seen every bit of me... she still accepted me.

She acknowledged me.

Much more, she still wanted to be with me—adored it, in fact. She went out of her way to make me more comfortable, and I couldn't recall anyone doing that before. Even Rin kept her distance to some extent, yet there Mia was; someone who knew all my dirty little secrets and still loved me for them.

I had thought she was truly my greatest friend.

Ah, but then time played its role.

And no longer was she just a figment of my imagination—she was there, she was real.

For years I had been able to remain ignorant of her, to be able to see her as only a very close friend. I never would have anticipated viewing her in a different light—the very notion at the beginning seemed so far-fetched it was laughable.

I couldn't tell you when I started noticing her—oh, wait. Yes, I could.

It was a long day at Amegakure, some time ago, and Mia was exhausted. She declared, quite clearly, that she just wanted to shower and then head to bed. She had to currently stay in my room, as the prank war was currently active at the time and her room was essentially demolished. It was a little after when I had joined the war, but the two of us declared a sort of truce for the time being. Anyway, she had to borrow some of my clothes, as well, as her clothes were rendered. (Let's just say that Deidara was quite spiteful at times.)

She had stepped out of my bathroom—wearing only her underwear and one of my too-large-for-her shirts, grinning and snickering as she was undoubtedly thinking up another prank, and that's when it struck me.

I kind of like her in my shirt.

I was so surprised by my line of thought, I was left speechless and she had to grab my attention by pulling on my arm and then I started to notice how long and smooth her legs were and how bright her eyes and how she smelled really nice and—

It went downhill from there.

I tried, I really did, to ignore the signs. I resisted every step of the way.

I didn't want to be attracted to my only friend. I didn't want to risk losing her like I did with Rin. I didn't want to be hurt all over again.

I didn't want her like that.

It got worse, of course. The photographs didn't help solve the matters, either and then there was that whole X fiasco and then Kakashi...

I really wasn't quite sure who I hated more: X or Kakashi.

On one hand, Kakashi stole Rin away from me and was spending an awfully lot of time with Mia. However, Mia seemed to have thoroughly friend-zoned Kakashi, despite Anko's persistence and I knew full well that she would never do something to hurt me like dating Kakashi. I was quite confident that when it came down to it, she would undoubtedly choose me over him, and it was for that reason alone, I hadn't killed him. Yet. That, and for the moment it seemed like Kakashi held a strictly platonic view of Mia.

Which was fine. I wouldn't begrudge her the chance of more friends—she was friends with the other Akatsuki members, the majority of them male and I didn't get jealous over them, so why should I get jealous over Kakashi?

Well, that wasn't entirely true. I suppose that I did sometimes get jealous when she would steal Itachi away or Itachi would kidnap her away, and the two would go off and discuss rather secretive things that I had yet to figure out what they were about. I had a feeling, though, that it was Sasuke and Naruto related. Itachi was just as much a mother-hen to Sasuke as Mia was to Naruto.

And X... Well, I just didn't like that guy. I had every intentions of killing him, as soon as I found him.

Bastard. How dare he not allow himself to be caught and killed by me already...

I digress again.

I wasn't an idiot, though. I could read the signs, no matter how much I tried to deny them, they were still there. I was attracted to her. I found her eyes and lips irresistible, and I loved the way she smiled and laughed, and I adored the way she walked and I was infatuated with her humor and quirks.

I was undeniably in love with her, both physically and mentally.

However... However...

While she was the most precious person to me alive, she was not my first. She was not there when I needed her, the way Rin was. She did not die in vain—nor would she ever, if I had a say about it—and she was still my closest friend.

I had faith, that in time, I would be able to love Mia the way I loved her before. I had faith that my love for Rin would persevere and that soon enough, things would settle down between Mia and myself. I had to have faith in that, because the alternative was unacceptable. Not only did Mia not return my affections, but the very thought of betraying Rin in such a manner—

No. Not even just betraying Rin, but betraying what I stood for in the first place, the new reason I lived, was just unthinkable.

I lived to make sure there would be no other deaths like Rin's, and no other heartbreaks like Obito's. If I, Uchiha Obito, loved someone else... If I, Uchiha Obito, loved that someone else more than Rin, then what purpose did I have? I wanted to prevent what had happened to me, but if I ended up happy, then what am I preventing?

If I stopped loving Rin, then what would I be fighting for?

I would have no purpose, no drive. All my goals and everything that I had to destroy to get so far—all of it would have been for nothing.

Shisui, Yahiko, the Uchiha Clan, Minato, Kushina—all of them, every last one of them, would have died in vain.

I would have murdered them in vain.

And that...that was unthinkable.

I didn't mean for it to happen.

I didn't mean to fall in love with my best friend.

But I did mean, and I do mean, to not pursue it. I would make sure my feelings rot away, not just for myself, but for them. It would be selfish of me to stop now, and even more selfish to pursue my own happiness after destroying those of so many others.

My feet touched the ground lightly and I glanced around the stadium. I felt a frown tug at my lips when I stared at the place Mia should have been.

Please tell me you didn't go all mother-hen on me, I thought, inwardly sighing in annoyance. You moron...

However, as I turned to leave, I noticed something.

My brows furrowed in confusion, and I stared at her comfort bag. It was the bag she and I had prepared for her to watch the matches—she wouldn't have left it behind, especially given the circumstances. She knew she needed to remain calm, not only for herself, but for the others.

The only reason it's here and she isn't...

I felt my body chill to the bone and a cold fury washed over me.

Fuck. No.

Red was all I saw, and instinctively my Sharingan activated. My hands were clenched so tightly into fists, they were shaking. I had to consciously grit my teeth and bite my tongue to make sure I made not a single sound. It took a full minute to calm myself down to the point where I could rationally think.

Mia was gone, and she did not leave willingly. It was just as possible for someone I didn't want her near to take her, as it would be for someone like Kakashi or Anko to take her someplace safe. Ah, but wait, Zetsu was monitoring all the safe-houses in case Orochimaru decided to make a grab for hosta—

I froze.

No, I thought. He didn't really...? While it's true she did openly declare herself as a member of the Akatsuki, he couldn't have just assumed she was a higher-ranking member from that one meeting, could he? No. That's too far-fetched, even for him. Which meant...which meant he had someone on the inside. A traitor amongst us? But who? Mia didn't mention anyone turning over to Orochimaru from the Akatsuki... Could the betrayal somehow be a domino affect from her presence? If that's the case, then how to discern the traitor...? It would be best if we took Orochimaru straight to Pein, but Konoha would want his body and we need to earn Konoha's trust if we want to proceed with the plans—we can't allow Konoha to take him alive, especially if he knows more about Mia's involvement with the Akatsuki that what is public knowledge. Damn.

I whirled around, throwing a kunai directly behind him. There was a blur of black before a shinobi stepped away from the shadows of the pillar, tilting his head.

"Calm down, Tobi," X laughed, a teasing tone in his voice. "It's just me."

I remained silent, eyeing the man before me.

X held up his hands in a peaceful gesture. "Believe it or not, I really do like that Mia girl, but money is money and I do love money. However, now that I already have my money, I have no obligations to keep her in his company."

"You kidnapped Mia," I said flatly, shifting stances.

X shrugged. "Gotta do, what you gotta do. No need to try and attack me now, though. After all, I can lead you straight to them."

"If you're lying, I will kill you."

"I'm sure you'll try," X assured him.

"You have not seen me when I really try," I said, smiling coldly behind my mask. "Trust me, boy, you do not want to upset me."

X only shrugged, turning away. "Do you want to come or not?"

I cocked my head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because she really does have the cutest little ass I've ever seen."

It took every ounce of self-control I had to not just snap his neck then and there.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

(First Person POV – Mia)

"What do you want?" I asked warily, fear pulsing inside of me as I scrambled away from Orochimaru.

"When it became apparent that I would not be leaving this place without having to fight the Akatsuki, I took the liberty of creating a plan to ensure my protection from them," Orochimaru said, stepping closer to me. It was then that I realized we were moving—some sort of enclosed cart, it seemed like.

"How'd you know to take me?" I demanded, glaring up at him, trying to muster up some sort of bravado. "I know damn sure that our current members wouldn't divulge just who I was to you. How'd you know to take me as a bargaining chip—I mean... that is what I am, right? A bargaining chip?"

Orochimaru nodded, pleased with my assessment. "You are indeed, little hostage. You are correct on both accounts—none of your current members would betray your little leader, and you are my ticket out of here."

"Current...then it was an older member, one of Kakuzu's partners, then," I muttered, frowning. "Possible. I didn't know them like I know the current members... Wait. If all you're trying to do is escape, why still have the Invasion?"

Orochimaru chuckled. "I'm never one to entirely abandon a plan, child. While I cannot take the life I currently want in this attempt, that doesn't mean that I can't at least destroy this wretched place as much as I can."

I glared at him, feeling myself relax minutely. I was a bargaining chip; my safety was guaranteed for the moment. "You're going to die either way."

"I very much doubt that."

I snorted, looking away.

"But while I have you all to myself, there are some things I would like to question you about," Orochimaru purred, moving towards me. I immediately scooted back.

"You'd just end up pissing them off if you hurt me," I warned him.

"I'm sure they won't care too much for the condition you're in, so long as you're alive and well, and frankly they already hate me and they're probably already mad at me—what do I care if I annoy them more?" Orochimaru reasoned, grabbing my arm and squeezing tightly. I winced, struggling to pull free.

I shifted stances, just like Tobi taught me, but didn't attack. I wasn't even going to kid myself into thinking that I could take on Orochimaru in a taijutsu bout.

"What do you want?" I asked instead, glowering at him in an attempt to hide my growing panic.

Orochimaru gave a small chuckle. "It isn't much. What are the current plans for the Akatsuki?"

"World domination," I deadpanned.

He tilted his head, smiling as his hand trailed down my arm to my hand. My heart pounded in my chest and I watched, frozen in shock, as he twisted my wrist around. There was a sickening cracking sound and sharp, burning pain raced up all the way up and down my arm. A gasp escaped my lips and I fell to my knees, cradling my broken wrist. Immediately, fury and adrenaline coursed through me and my leg snapped out, aiming for his knees. Orochimaru didn't bat an eyelash as he leapt above my kick before coming down hard on my foot. I bit down on my tongue, hard, to keep from crying out as I heard another crack and more pain surged through me.

I looked up at him, glaring with absolute loathing, trying to squash down the growing sense of dread that curled in the pit of my stomach.

"Let's try this again: What are the current plans for the Akatsuki?"

I swallowed roughly, feeling a sick hatred burn in the pit of my stomach. Fear was crawling over me, and I wanted nothing more than to do and say whatever it took to keep this man as far away from me as humanly possible. But the very idea of doing that—the very idea of betraying Tobi in such a manner, caused me more ache than any physical pain could provide. So I swallowed roughly again, looked up and glared at him. "Fuck you."

Orochimaru gave a small humming sound, before grabbing onto my hair and pulling me up. Instinctive tears pricked at my eyes and I bit down hard on my bottom lip. "We are moving, child; never in one location, and always staying away from the sightings of your beloved Akatsuki members. It will be a long time until we are found, so I'll ask once: are you really going to be so uncooperative?"

"Fuck you," I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut so I couldn't see what he would do next. I didn't need to. I felt Orochimaru's hand wrap around my left elbow and I felt and heard that familiar, sickening sound. I cried out, falling to my knees again and shaking. I was ashamed to allow the instinctive tears to fall, but my self-control wasn't so perfect that I could hold them back. When I opened my eyes, my stomach heaved to find my arm bent out at such a wrong angle.

Orochimaru watched me, his eyes unreadable. "Such a fragile thing, aren't you? What use could you possibly have to garner such a high position? It couldn't be strictly emotional, the old leader would sooner place his little angel in such a position if that were the case."

"F-Fuck y-you," I whispered again, hating that my bottom lip was trembling.

Orochimaru chuckled. "Oh well. We still have plenty of time, child. I'll find the answers to my questions sooner or later..."

I was about to respond with another oh-so-witty fuck you, when the roof to the cart blew off. Orochimaru's head snapped up, his eyes narrowed and that was about when I saw Tobi come flying in, delivering a solid kick to Orochimaru's stomach. The Sannin was hurtled through the cart floor and straight into the ground, kicking up a large plume of dust and dirt in the processes. Tobi stared down at the hole, not even glancing at me before jumping down in it. My eyes widened and I shakily stood up, limping towards the hole, careful to not put any pressure on my ohmygodIdidn'tknowitcouldbendthatway ankle. Several heartbeats passed before Tobi leapt up and out of the hole.

"See? Told you I could take you to her," X said, and I shot him an annoyed look. "Whoa, that looks painful."

I gave him a sneer and Tobi whirled on him, his fist snapping out and digging into X's mask. X was knocked to the ground, his hands flying up to his face.

"Due to the fact that Orochimaru would have undoubtedly taken Mia without your help, and that it was because of you that I was able to find her so quickly, I've decided not to kill you," Tobi said, his voice quiet, but cold. "You have exactly ten seconds before I change my mind. Ten..."

X snorted, but disappeared in a plume of black smoke.

It was then that Tobi turned to me and stopped before me, his only visible eye—a bright red, signifying the use of his Sharingan—resting on my arm, the arm I was adamantly refusing to look at.

"I'm going to have to reset it," Tobi said softly, his hands moving towards it. My face screwed up and a whimper escaped my lips. Tobi hesitated, stepping closer. "I know it's going to hurt, but I promise it'll be all over soon."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. I closed my eyes and I felt Tobi's gentle hands wrap around my arm. There was another snap and crack and even though I was expecting the pain, it still had me weak in the knees. Tobi's arms quickly wrapped around me and he pulled me closer, hugging me tightly. "You're okay, Mia. You're alright. I promise, I won't let this happen again."

My good arm wrapped around Tobi and I buried my face in his chest, a choked sob escaping me.

"Shhh, it's okay. It's okay," Tobi whispered, and I was starting to realize that I wasn't the only one shaking either, and that Tobi wasn't really talking to me. "It's not going to happen again. Ever. I promise."

But that was okay.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Can I s-sleep with you t-tonight?" I asked as Tobi carried me away, my head resting on his shoulder as I curled up in his arms.

"Yes," Tobi said. "Don't worry, Mia, I'll get you to the hospital."

"I know," I whispered, closing my eyes. "I t-trust you."

"I won't let you down," Tobi promised. "Try and relax, Mia. The sedative should be kicking in about now. When you wake up, everything will be alright again. I promise."

I nodded my head, everything seeming sluggish. "Okay..."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When I opened my eyes, I was in a hospital room. I looked over at my left arm, finding the majority of it in a cast. I gave a large yawn, sitting up in the bed and looking out my window. It was dark outside—the moon was high up in the air. I must have just been asleep for several hours, then.

"Awake?"

I looked back and found Deidara staring at me. He was seated in a chair at my bed, doodling away on a sketch pad.

"For the moment," I said, frowning. "What happened?"

"Well," Deidara began, "when we couldn't find Orochimaru, we ended up just fighting off the invasion for Konoha, un. Kakuzu-senpai said that would work just as well—our goal here was to just prove to Konoha that we were their allies. Turns out Orochimaru had kidnapped you though, and Tobi went to rescue you, un."

"I remember that much. He, uh... He confronted Orochimaru and got me to the hospital," I said.

"Mm-hmm. Knocked him out or something, because he was able to hold him long enough to take him to Otogakure. Hidan and Kisame were having a field day there, un. With the mass majority of their shinobi here, it was easy pickings for the most part—well, there were several difficult ones, from what they say, un," Deidara said thoughtfully. "They collected the bounties Kakuzu had assigned and when Tobi brought Orochimaru, between the four of them, they were able to deprive the information and keep him busy until Sasori-no-Danna and I arrived to finish the job, un."

"He's dead?" I demanded.

"We cut off his head, his hands, his feet, ripped out his spine and burnt the majority of his body to ashes—we had to make sure he was recognizable for Konoha, though. After that, we took him back to Konoha and gave them him as a present, un," Deidara finished, smiling pleasantly.

I tried not to feel too pleased with that outcome for him. "What about Otogakure?"

"Pillaged and burned it," Deidara said with a shrug. "Kakuzu-senpai said the land could be used for farmers, un."

Nodding my head, I gave a thoughtful humph. "I could see that, gives us more money, too. Alright, so I take it we're on good terms with Konoha now, right?" At Deidara's nod, I continued, "Orochimaru's dead, Otogakure has been taken care of, I'm guessing all the bounties have been collected, so our plan was an overall success. Excellent work, Dei-chan."

Deidara shrugged. "Whatever, un. It was your idea."

Smiling sheepishly, I rubbed the back of my head with my good hand. "So then what are you doing here?"

"Watching for Tobi. He wanted someone to be here when you woke up, I took over Itachi's shift a little while ago. Tobi's been in a meeting with Leader-sama for a couple hours now, un," Deidara explained.

"Ah. Well, you're welcome to go back home and get some sleep, Dei-chan. I'll be fine, and besides, you deserve a good rest."

Deidara grinned at me. "Now that sounds like a good plan. Alright, night, Mia-chan, un."

"Sweet dreams, buddy."

Even after Deidara left, I couldn't manage to go back asleep. I kept looking at my left arm and seeing it twisted weirdly and I kept hearing the cracking sound. I told myself it was just my imagination, but the sheer persistence in my hallucinations kept me too on edge. An hour or so must have passed before Tobi finally came.

He stood before my bed and I looked up at him. Without a word, I moved over on my bed and he lay down beside me. I curled up next to him and buried myself as far as I could into him, focusing slowly on listening to his heartbeat and feeling his chest rise and fall. His arm curled around me and he rested his head on mine. "Go to sleep, Mia."

I closed my eyes. "Okay, 'Obi."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

"Aww, you don't have to feed me, Anko-chan," I cooed at her, smiling brightly. Anko gave me a glare and Kakashi shifted his weight, adjusting me on his back. Don't ask why I was piggy-back riding Kakashi back to my apartment, I just was. It was probably because he felt guilty (again, don't ask me why, he was just being silly like that) that he didn't rescue me. That was why Anko felt the need to feed me.

"I should have made sure you were okay," Anko muttered, glaring down at the ground.

"But I'm alive," I pointed out. "And you had your job to do as a kunoichi. Besides, it's all good. My bestest buddy totally saved my ass."

"At least there's there," Anko grumbled.

"Seriously, don't feel guilty. Same to you, Kakashi," I said, patting his head.

Kakashi turned his head back and gave me an eye-smile. "What makes you think I feel bad?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you really trying to deny the fact?"

Kakashi remained silent, choosing instead to look away. I snorted. "That's what I thought... so my babies are at the apartment?"

Anko nodded, smiling. "Jiraiya-sama said Naruto wasn't allowed to visit you in the hospital, because he was too obnoxious, but seeing how you only had to stay overnight in the first place... well, they're kind of all gathered and anxiously awaiting your return."

"I feel loved."

Anko's eyebrows wiggled. "Something I'm sure Kakashi would be delighted to do to you—"

Kakashi and I sighed.

"Anko, sweetie," I said gently, "it's just not going to happen."

"That's what you think now," Anko sung, skipping up the steps to the apartment. "But look at how cute you two look. He's carrying you all the way home."

I rolled my eyes. "You're ruining the joy of being given a lift home, Anko-chan. Put me down, please, Kakashi."

As Kakashi set me down, Anko pouted and I brushed past her, opening the door to my apartment. I had only a second to blink before a blur of blond and orange barreled into me, knocking me to the ground.

"Oh thank the Ramen King you're okay, Kaa-chan! I was so worried, but I couldn't visit you in the hospital because Tou-san was being an ass and Teme said something about you just staying the night, so I thought it would be fine, but it wasn't because I was totally worried and I thought you had died and left me and that if that happened I would seriously miss you and be sad, so you have to promise me that you aren't going to die any time soon, because that would just depress me and you know I love you, and Teme was worried too, so was Sakura-chan, and Hinata-chan and Kiba-teme and everyone came over last night to give me get-well gifts to give to you and I put them on your bed, I hope thats okay and oh, I'm just so glad to see you—"

"Breathe, child. Breathe," I said, hugging Naruto as close to me as I could.

Naruto sniffled, his face buried into my chest. "Sorry, Kaa-chan. I'm sorry I got embarrassed from you at the tournament, I'm sorry I made you worry, I'm sorry I made you come to the tournament in the first place, because if I hadn't then maybe—"

I kissed his forehead and cheek, cupping his cheek. "Hush, Naruto-chan. It wouldn't have made a difference where I was, and don't feel bad for being embarrassed, I thought it was adorable. And I'll always be worried, so don't feel bad about that, either, and you never made me do anything: I chose to go because I knew how important it was to you. That's what mothers are for."

Naruto sniffled, his bottom lip trembling. "I'm sorry, Kaa-chan."

"Don't cry, sweetie," I said quickly, my brow furrowed. "If you cry, then I'll cry, and we'll just be a crying mess and no wants that."

Naruto nodded, choosing instead to just rest his head on me. I struggled to sit up, finally managing the feat to find Sasuke and Sakura staring at me with mixed expressions. Sakura was both pleased and relieved, while Sasuke was torn between trying to hold an indifferent face, and a relieved one.

Jiraiya was off to the side, smirking and holding up a camera.

"I swear to God, if you took a picture of me with my hair as horrible as it is now..."

Flash.

"You're dead to me," I told him.

"I am not," Jiraiya retorted. "You love me far too much for something like that. Now how about food?"

"Fine," I muttered. "But I'll need help in the kitchen."

"I was thinking of going out to eat, but that works," Jiraiya chuckled.

"I'll help," Kakashi offered, helping me on my feet and gently prying Naruto off of me.

I nodded. "Thanks, buddy. Everybody cool for staying the night and watching something funny? I need a good laugh."

"You and me both," Kakashi muttered, walking away and heading towards the kitchen.

I smirked. "Just let me grab my green apron, then." *

Kakashi twitched at that.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Answer:

"I'm bored. Think I'll go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on."

"Ever looked at your best friend and wonder: 'Why the hell aren't we comedians?'"

"Just remember if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English."

"Dearest Teachers,

If I sit next to my best friend, I'll whisper to them. If you move me away, I'll shout to them. It's your choice."

"Trust me, you can dance

-Vodka"

"The dog is OK. Beware of owner. Also, the cat is shady as fuck."

-Tumblr

Question: The best thing you have ever eaten? Ever.

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