Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Plot and Mia are mine, though.

Warning: T?

First Beta: featherstofly

Second Beta: Lavendor Queen

Editor: Sansho

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

After spending a very fun day shopping for seeds and planning out the greenhouse with Naruto (construction had started right away, damn I loved efficient ANBU), and stopping by Ichiraku's for lunch, the two of us swung back to my new refurbished apartment. We watched a couple of movies before the little ball of sunshine was too tired and I tucked him into bed.

Then I too went to bed.

Now, my night was a little odd. For the past few nights I've been in this world I've always had someone in the room with me when I fell asleep; Obito, to be exact. Even when I was little I didn't sleep on my own unless I was at home and in a comfortable place. This was not my home. Not really. And while the bed was nice, the way I liked it, it wasn't comfortable.

It took me quite some time, tossing and turning, before I finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

Bright and early the next morning my internal clock woke me up as the first rays of bright pale light peeked through my windows.

I stumbled out of bed, not bothering to put pants on, and tugged down at my cammie. With a yawn, I moved out into the living room, frowning when I caught the scent of bacon.

I stared at Obito, who had laid out a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs with a glass of coffee next to him. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the couch and sipping his own glass of coffee while staring in exasperation at some papers.

When he spotted me, he scowled.

"You. Are. Expensive," Obito accused.

"I know," I said, not the least bit bothered. "This is payback for burning down my kitchen, living room, and bathroom."

"I said I was sorry!"

"'Sorry' doesn't cut it," I sniffed, adding quotation marks with my fingers. "It was a very terrifying and traumatic event. I needed therapy. Do you know how hard it was to share a single bathroom with my parents, rich boy?"

Obito gave a groan of exasperation. "So it's payback?"

"Yes."

Obito scowled at me.

I smiled at him, sitting next to him and taking a piece of bacon. "Naruto is adorable. When I have a son, I want him to be like him."

Obito muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I hope that bacon is burnt."

"It's cooked lovely, thank you, dear."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

Obito sighed. "What's the plan for the day?"

"I don't know. If Pervy-Sage shows up, I'm off to train with him. If not, I'm setting up the greenhouse with Naruto. We should have it done by tonight if we really work on it."

Obito stared at me incredulously. "You're serious about including him in your life?"

"Of course."

"Despite the many dangers everyone he loves will constantly be facing?"

"I'll be fine."

"That's what you think. Danzō informs me you weren't even intimidated by the Hokage."

"Why should I be? I'm not a threat."

"At least not that he knows of."

"Danzō won't tell and neither will you."

"That's not the point."

"What's the point, then?"

Obito shrugged, grabbing some bacon for himself and nibbling on it. "I'm concerned about the Domino Effect you being here will have."

We fell into silence. Neither of us knew how to address that concern.

I cleared my throat. "So, um, I need you to get some parts for me."

"What do you mean?"

"My laptop," I explained with a dreary sigh. "It, well, let's say chakra is so not mixing well with it, or something. It didn't get wet, or was physically damaged. The whole thing is going haywire and I have to rebuild the majority of it with materials from this world that are more used to chakra than the materials from my world. I already have a list of parts for you. Some of them are probably going to have to be customized."

Obito winced. He knew firsthand how much I loved my laptop, and how addicted I was to it. "I'll get right on it. Any idea how long it'll take?"

"Very," I muttered unhappily. "I have a general idea on what to do, as I've had to rebuild my laptop numerous times - thanks to you - but I've never really worked with the materials or technology in this world. It's going to be pretty much trial and error. Urk. And the programming is going to be a hell to rewrite, I know it."

"At least you know what you're doing," Obito offered.

I shot him a mutinous glare before sighing and nodding. "I suppose your horrendous habit of destroying my things paid off in this regard. Still urk. I'm going to be going through internet withdrawals. And videogames withdrawals. Major technology withdrawals. I don't even have my phone or iPod, though that's probably a good thing as they would be busted too, maybe."

Obito patted my head. "Well, like I said, at least you know what to do."

"Only because you fucking destroyed my laptop before."

"You're still touchy about that?"

"Papa and Grandpoppy made me rebuild it from scratch because of you! And they took away all of my technology for the rest of summer vacation! Then when I finally had it rebuilt, they destroyed it on purpose and made me rebuild it again!"

"They wanted to make sure you knew how valuable the laptop was and to know how to fix it," Obito said patiently.

"I did know how valuable it was! I didn't know you were such a techno-idiot, though!"

"I'm getting the feeling that you're angry at me," Obito commented.

I snarled. "You put my laptop in the friggin' washer."

"You told me the washer was meant for, and I quote, 'cleaning things'. You then told me your laptop was dirty and waterproof—"

"—Waterproof, as in it could take a little sprinkle and not fritz out on me!"

"—so I did the friendly thing and tried to wash it for you."

I gave him a venomous look.

Obito sighed before he pulled out a chocolate bar and held it out to me. Caught off guard, I blinked at it. "What?"

"I've decided to always keep chocolate on me for emergencies," Obito clarified.

"You can't bribe me with chocolate—!"

"It's the equivalent of a Crunch bar in this world."

I took the chocolate bar, nodded to Obito in a firm manner and promptly started unwrapping the wrapper. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you."

"Whatever," Obito muttered. "Which reminds me, I will be teaching you self-defense. Every time I stop by, I'll kidnap you for two hours to train you."

My nose crinkled at that. "Do I have to?"

"Either I train you, or Danzō does."

I winced. "You're awesome?"

"I know."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

After Obito had left, I went back over to Naruto's apartment and the sunshine welcomed me in with a bright and warm smile. He gave me a quick hello and I fixed him some breakfast, but as I cooked, I noted how horrendously messy the kitchen was and the severe lack of food—proper food—he had.

"We're cleaning and shopping today," I told Naruto.

Naruto looked up at me, curious. "What do you mean?"

I gestured all around us and Naruto ducked his head in sheepish embarrassment. I frowned at that. "Don't be embarrassed sweetie, you're a lot neater than I was at your age. We can spend the day cleaning and afterwards we can go shopping for some food. You can choose what we're having for dinner, even."

Naruto looked back up at me, smiling. "We?"

"Do you have a problem with that?"

"No," Naruto said quietly, still smiling. "I like it."

"Good. I like it too."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Naruto hurried along beside me, gripping the numerous bags of groceries with him. I kept a steady pace, tightening my grip around my own numerous grocery bags as the two of us headed home. Shopping proved a smidgeon difficult in that Naruto didn't feel comfortable enough to go into the store with me. He said it was something about not liking the store, but I had a feeling he didn't want the same stares he got to transition over to me and thus, in his eyes, make me go away.

He was silly. As if I'd ever be bothered by something like that.

We climbed up the stairs and Naruto opened his apartment and we headed inside. After shutting the door, I breathed in the nice-smelling apartment.

It was already pretty late at night. We had spent a good chunk of the day cleaning his small apartment. But it was still a rough scrub through, kind of like shampooing. We still had to use conditioner, which for us would mean fixing a few of the cracks and painting over them, but we could do that tomorrow.

"So what do you want for dinner, Naruto-kun?" I asked as he assisted me in putting the groceries away.

"Umm... I dunno. No ramen, right?"

"Not tonight," I said, smiling in bemusement.

"I dunno."

"Well, seeing how we both worked pretty hard tonight, why don't I fix us up something special?"

Naruto grinned. "Like what?"

"Well, I could make us some homemade pizza."

"What's pizza?"

"Something you will love. It's pretty popular in my home land."

"Okay," Naruto hummed.

I ruffled his hair. "Aa, why don't you go pull out your homework from the academy you were telling me about? I can certainly try helping you while I'm cooking."

Naruto's grin morphed into a shy smile. "Really?"

"'Course," I proclaimed. "My momma used to help me with my homework a lot when I was little, so I don't see why I wouldn't help you with yours."

Naruto's smile faded momentarily, his face a perfect mask of shock. He stared up at me with wide eyes, water glistening at the ends of it.

Immediately I stopped what I was doing and stared at him with equally wide, panicked eyes. Oh shit, what did I do?

I dropped down on my knees and scooped the boy into a hug. Feeling sort of panicky and unsure of what to do, I remembered what my cousin did for her little brother when he was about to bawl. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Please don't cry! I'm not good with crying. Seriously, it makes me cry and I definitely don't want to start crying now, so for the love of Addicting-Video-Games please don't cry!"

Naruto sniffled as he wrapped his arms around me. "N-No. You didn't hurt me. I-I got something in my eyes, is all."

"I see," I said, unsure of what else to say. Was he really okay or was he trying to be polite?

"Really, really, I'm not hurt. Okay?"

I patted his head, releasing him and gnawing on my bottom lip. "If you're sure."

"I am," Naruto said as he rubbed his eyes.

I smiled, relaxing. "Okay. So go get your homework while I get dinner started."

"'Kay."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

With Naruto tucked into bed, his homework done and dinner eaten (he loved pizza now, my work there was done), I finally crept back over to my own bedroom, yawning tiredly.

I crawled into my bed, taking two sleeping pills (that I had requested and received from the wonderfully helpful ANBU) to help me fall asleep in this still strange room, before my head hit the pillow and oblivion welcomed me.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Bright and early in the morning, I yawned and smiled as I headed out into my living room. Obito looked up from his spot in front of the couch, flipping through channels on the television.

I stopped right before him, my eyes widening.

"Oh my God," I breathed, gaping at hm.

Obito looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. "Yes?"

I dropped down onto my knees and crawled over to him, gripping him by the shoulders. "Take off the shirt."

"I'm not stripping, you pervert," Obito drawled, giving me an amused look.

I smacked him on the shoulder lightly. "I don't care about seeing your flat chest. Give. Me. Your. Shirt."

Obito snickered. "Oh? This old thing?"

"That's an Akatsuki shirt!" I cried out, staring at its amazing-ness. "A legit Akatsuki shirt, with the black background and red clouds and everything! Gimme!"

"What do you say?"

"I'll love you for life if you give me that shirt, please."

"You already promised to love me for life when I helped you beat the Harry Potter Legos," Obito said dismissively.

"I'll love you for eternity then," I declared. "Please? Please, please?"

"I don't know," Obito said with great exaggeration. "I quite like this shirt."

"You can get another one," I cried out.

"You're right. I definitely can, but I quite like this shirt."

"You're being an ass."

"I know."

"Please?"

Obito sighed. "This one? You don't want one of your own?"

"Nope. This one was worn by an actual Akatsuki member, even if it was you."

"I feel the love. Fine. You're lucky I'm in such a gracious mood."

"Uh-huh."

"So gracious... I'll give you the shirt if you tell me your plans."

I gave a groan. "That's worse than cock-blocking."

Obito gave a grin. His tone changed to that of one of teasing. "You know you want the shirt."

"I do, but..."

"I thought you wanted the shirt, Mia-chan."

"I do! But..."

"If you really wanted the shirt you'd do anything to get it."

"I would! But..."

"Miiiiaaa-chaaan. You know you waaaant the shirt."

"I do. I do want the shirt!"

"So tell me what you're planning."

I groaned. "I'll explain the parts that benefit both of us, okay? I can't explain the other parts 'cause I don't quite know them myself yet."

"Deal," Obito said, smirking.

"You're the devil," I accused.

"You love me anyway."

"I must be a masochist," I muttered.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Jiraiya still hadn't shown up for the rest of the week.

But between Naruto and Obito, I wasn't bored enough to really care. Naruto was such a sweetheart and proved to be extraordinarily entertaining when the mood hit him. When I wasn't helping him with school work, we either worked more on our budding garden or goofed off in the park. And when night fell, after Naruto was tucked in, Obito would occasionally visit me to further explain this world to me (and when he couldn't visit at night, he came in the mornings).

All in all, it was a pleasant, relaxing week.

But the pleasantries were soon to be over. Not 'cause Jiraiya had shown up.

Naruto was going back to school.

Naruto scuffed the ground as we waited outside his apartment door while I fumbled for the key.

"It can't be that bad," I consoled.

"It is," Naruto insisted. "I'd rather stay with you."

"No, you wouldn't," I admonished. "You want to become the Hokage, right?"

"Right!"

"So going to school is important. You're going to have to go. Besides, I already have your lunches planned out for the week."

"Lunches?" Naruto asked, his voice rising at the end to show his curiosity.

Naruto had taken a fast liking to my world's food and my cooking. And yes, I was pleased as he had a banana.

"Mm-hmm. Unless you want to make your own lunches."

"No, no," Naruto insisted quickly. "I like Ka—your cooking."

I smiled. "Good."

Finally finding the right key, I unlocked the door and headed inside, Naruto trailing behind me.

"Seeing how you have school tomorrow, why don't you go ahead and get your stuff laid out tonight so you aren't rushed in the morning, alright?" I asked, heading into the kitchen to prepare Naruto's school lunch for the next day.

"'Kay, Kaa—Mia."

I hummed in acknowledgement, pulling out the ingredients from various cabinets. Comfortable silence fell between us as the two of us worked on our aforementioned tasks. Naruto finished before me, of course, and chose to sit on the counter, watching me work.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow after school and we can have Ichiraku's for dinner as a treat," I said.

"Really? Yatta! Thanks, Kaa-ch—Mia."

"Why don't you go ahead and pick out the movie to watch tonight?" I suggested. "Nothing too long because I want you in bed before eight-thirty, young man."

"Hai, hai," Naruto replied, hopping off the counter and going through a door installed between our apartments a few days ago. It made it easier to communicate and take care of each other.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

When the movie was over, Naruto was already falling asleep. His head rested on my arm, and as I turned the T.V. off, he gave a huge yawn. I ruffled his hair slightly to which he groaned and halfheartedly swatted my hand away. Only smiling in amusement, I stood up and picked the little boy up with me, holding him in my arms while his head sort of sagged onto my shoulders.

His tiny arms wrapped around in a small neck-hug and I patted his back. "Bedtime, little one."

Naruto yawned again, mumbling in agreement while I moved out of my apartment back towards his. Stepping through the kitchen I went to his bed and laid him in. He snuggled into his pillow while I tucked the blankets around him.

"Night-night, Kaa-chan," Naruto mumbled groggily.

I froze.

Naruto was stock-still, his eyes flying open and his mouth gaping in disbelief.

"You think I'm your Kaa-chan?" I asked, eyes still wide.

Naruto didn't say anything, gaping at me in horror.

I blinked a couple of times as the shock wore off before giving him a pleased smile. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Awesome. Always wanted to be a mom. Goodnight, Naruto-chan. Sweet dreams."

Naruto blinked up at me. "You don't mind being my Kaa-chan?"

"Why would I be?" I retorted rhetorically. "Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up in the morning when it's time to go to school."

Naruto smiled back at me. "Hai... Kaa-chan."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Extra - Destruction of the House (II)

I had to have been fourteen the second time Obito completely destroyed my house.

Well, not completely, but enough.

It was getting rather late, you see, and it was a couple of weeks after New Years. Momma and Papa had given me permission to dispose of leftover fireworks and whatnot, so long as they were around. Yes, well, Obito had seen fireworks first hand (as he has been with me on New Years, as well as a few other holidays. He had never launched them himself though), and they did have them in his world (they weren't brought out very often, especially in a ninja village), but Obito had never seen the 'smaller fireworks' like the smoke bombs, sparklers, and the like.

We had plenty of those leftover and one night, one simple little night, I made the horrendous mistake of allowing Obito free reign of the fireworks. I was feeling a little under the weather and had taken my nightly medication, so I was of course out of it.

Obito mentioned wanting to see more fireworks and I vaguely motioned towards the garage, giving my permission to have at it.

The thing was Obito didn't know how to tell the box of sparklers apart from the box of fireworks.

In all fairness, we didn't have them in labeled boxes. We moved them into fireproof and waterproof boxes, specially made for keeping hold of 'explosives'. We knew which box was which. Obito did not.

And me, genius me, did not think for a moment to remind Obito which box contained the rather lethal explosives, and which box held the rather harmless ones.

So Obito, of course, grabbed the massive power-house fireworks.

I thought he had grabbed the sparklers and informed him that he could light them in the bathroom - as it was the least flammable room in the house and it was rather too chilly to go outside and do it.

I think what happened next was pretty obvious.

I was about to take a sip of my double-chocolate chocolate-marshmallow covered hot chocolate when all of a sudden I hear this heart-stopping explosion coming from my bathroom.

Screaming in surprise, I hurried upstairs to find my bathroom completely gone, as well as the room next to my bathroom mostly gone (some of it was still sizzling on fire) and a blue man standing completely unharmed.

Obito turned to me. "Those sparklers certainly pack a punch."

I turned to him. "You destroyed my bathroom."

"You know I have the oddest feeling that what I lit wasn't the sparklers."

"You friggin' destroyed my bathroom."

"It's a feeling, though. I'm not sure. What do you think?"

"Yet you are unharmed. No physical punishment whatsoever. While my bathroom is off in bathroom heaven. You murdered my bathroom. You bathroom murderer."

Obito eyed me thoughtfully. "I'm getting the weirdest notion that you might be the tiniest bit upset with me. Maybe. Call me crazy."

"You murderer."

"Now, now, it's not nice to call people names."

"My parents are going to kill me. Painfully. Slowly. How in the hell am I going to explain this to them?"

"I'm sure you'll come up with something."

"Fuck. You."

"Ouch. I'm starting to think that you may not want me around at the moment."

I opened my mouth, but closed my eyes, fighting the waves of dizziness. "Fucking medication. I think I'm going to lay down now."

"You want me to lay down with you, is that what you're implying?"

"I want you to make sure there isn't a single trace that a firework was launched in here, then make it seem like it was a gas explosion instead of a firework. I refuse to get in trouble over something that I didn't even do."

"I can do that, I think. How do I make it look like a gas explosion?"

"I don't know. Go watch an episode of NCIS, or Numbers, or something, it's bound to explain something on there. My parents won't be home until morning so you have until then to figure it out."

"I have another hour and a half before I leave," Obito hummed. "I suppose I can figure something out."

"You damn straight better."

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Answer: Uchiha

Question: Have you ever made something explode?

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Picture from CrenatedPineapple on deviantART.