(This is written as of July 5th, 2016. The story is only at 4 chapters as of writing this review.)

Alright lets delve right into this story and we didn't have to go very far. Incert? You mean Insert? Goddamnit, how do you spell the name of your genre wrong IN THE TITLE OF YOUR STORY! That is literally turns people off right away. In fact, that title is the only reason I chose to review this. I don't know what the Vocaloids are. I don't know who Hatsune Miku is and frankly I don't care. I would have never even opened this story were it not for the misspelling of insert. No, seriously, this makes me mad. It's your fucking title! How do you mess up a word in your title?! I can understand having a misspell here or there in your chapters. I do it all the time, and I don't have the will to hunt every single one of them down. But the title, the thing that represents your work, the words that introduce people to your writing, and you spell insert wrong? Tauntingly tickle my testicles, this makes me mad. It's not even a hard thing to change. Just go to "edit story" and change the title. One letter. One fucking letter is all you need to do. If you fixed this then you wouldn't have had me tearing your story apart now, would you? Lesson to those reading, SPELL YOUR TITLE CORRECTLY.

I could go on for more, but lets continue. My apologies for that. Being the first review, there are some things you need to know. For one, this won't be absolutely professional. I will speak how I want - sometimes dramatically or just for a chuckle - and I'll say what I want. I'll give every story exactly what it deserves, be it critique or praise. This will be split into three catagories: Character, Story, and Grammar. Each of those will be given a score out of ten, five being average.

Grammar

Okay, so, the grammar isn't all that bad, surprisingly. There are a decent amount of spelling mistakes (like incert) but most of it is alright. Even the sentence structure is fine, and the over all look is easy to follow. There is a funny mistake I saw in the second chapter that reads "I said looking at me." That made me laugh, honestly, as "I" wasn't looking in a mirror at the time. However, this is an introduction to a constant problem. Nearly every line of dialogue ends with "(person) said looking at (person). This becomes very noticeable and EXTREMELY annoying as you read. It doesn't vary. Every time someone speaks it ends like that, and it annoys the hell out of me. There are so many different ways to end a sentence. "I said, scratching my neck." "He said, his eyes drifting away from me once he's silent." Or just leave it blank. The constant he said/she said/ I said looking at whoever is what really brings the story down grammatically.

So overall, I'd give the grammar a 5/10. It's average. It's not great, there are problems, but there's nothing that severely hurts the story other than the annoying "looking at them" stuff.

Story

Alright, so I don't know what the Vocaloids are. I've never watched the anime, but I'll try to judge this all as it's own story. So if I'm wrong about something involving the show, I'm sorry. Anyway, lets go. The story of the four chapters is basically the reader becoming a bodyguard for the Vocaloids. That's... about it. Honestly, I think there should have been a chapter before the first one. You see, the story starts off with Hatsune Miku worried about being assaulted by fans. It's quite a surprising start, honestly. At the same time, the reader is getting their armed fixed up. To me, there should have been a chapter showing Miku being assaulted during her performance, then showing the reader doing his last fight. This would actually show us the problems, who the characters are, and what they do. It simply would have been better overall.

Later on it seems very slow. Chapter three seemed to take too long for absolutely no reason. in fact, some conflict that could have been interesting was completely missed. At one point the reader is being told that they should keep their relationship with the performers professional. That makes sense, and could be an interesting road bump in a relationship. But, of course, the reader just dismisses that and the manager just shrugs it off. That... was odd to me. It should have been clearly and firmly stated that they shouldn't get close to them. Anywho, the next chapter the reader is making out with Miku and is their boyfriend. AND THE MANAGER IS FINE WITH IT. That is something that could have taken a few chapters to... hold on, let me get to a different point first.

The relationship starts way too fast. From what I gathered from the story, Miku and the reader meet twice. One for introductions, and one in chapter four. Was there stuff inbetween? We don't know. Apparently, given what we were told in chapter four, they've known each other for a week, but we've only seen to interactions. So the reader beats up some guys who were sexually harassing Miku and, once this problem is done with and she performs her concert, she instantly asks to kiss him and becomes his girlfriend.

...

...

...

What? How? Why? We've had no development between these two characters, other than the reader saving her once. That's a decent foundation to a relationship, but this is just an instant love that isn't built up at all. Or maybe Miku is actually really easy. If that's the case than slap my cheek and take a peek. But, odds are she isn't. This romance is poorly written, and being that it's a story with it's core being a romance... well it hurts the overall score.

By the way, apparently the reader is a Battloid, which is like a Vocaloid but made for fighting. I don't know if that's in the show or not, but it's something to bring up.

Unfortunately there isn't much more to review when it comes to story. So, for what is has now, I can only give it a 2/10. It's poorly paced and not extremely interesting. No development between characters. No reason for relationships. No reason that Miku is so afraid of people anyway. So, that's my verdict.

Characters

Welp, like I said before, I don't know this anime, so I can't tell if these characters are represented properly or not. But, I'll give it my best shot. Okay, so we don't really get to know the Vocaloids that well, since they're really the only characters worth noting, besides the reader, of course. But they're pretty bland. None of them popped out to me or had any charm that made me want to watch this anime and learn more about the character. The only two people who are slightly fleshed out are the reader and Miku.

Miku is extremely scared of overly aggressive fans for... some reason. I can understand if celebrities don't like weird fans, but the fear she shows requires reasoning we're not given. We know she was attacked on stage, but that's it. You could say that's all she needs, but... I don't know. It just seems like there should be a deeper reason beyond that. Aside from that, Miku seems really flirty in this. I don't know if she actually is, but right after seeing some beat up guys being forced to apologize to her, she wants to make-out with the reader. Why? Because... fantasies? I already touched on this in story, but I thought I should mention it. She's not given anything else, besides what I just spoke of.

Then there's the reader, who's the typical rugged fighter who knows what he's doing and is more than meets the eye. Again, apart from being some sort of robot thing, there's nothing much too him. He just fights and that's it. Know what would have been interesting? A "Battloid" who doesn't want to fight anymore. That's going against his own programming, so he's taken up being a bodyguard since there's more simply crowd control than actually fighting. That would have made him interesting. Every time something comes up he has to fight his inner desire and programming to fight, but nope. He just beats people up, is a famous fighter, and kisses the girl. Whoopty-do.

So, I'm going to give this a 4/10. I can't truly judge characters I don't know about, but there was nothing charming or cool about anyone given here. They were just characters and nothing more.

Final Verdict

So now that you know all the scores, I'll give an overall one and my reasoning behind it. So, my final score for this story is a 3/10. There's nothing special here and it's not even done anyway. It's something you can put in your library or reading list until it has more to it. But with the combination of poor characters, uninteresting story, and length, I can't give this anymore than I have.

Do you agree? Disagree? Your own opinion? Have a story you want me to review? Tips on how to review these better? Leave a comment below. Thank you, and have a great day.