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• I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered

• Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing? In case they get a hole in one.

• Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it's a soap opera.

• What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They're both Paris sites.

• Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems.

• What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

• What kind of shoes do you like to wear? Mine are banana peels, they make great slippers.

• What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

• I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know y.

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