Go away.

Words: 699

Levi P.o.v:

TRIGGER WARNING.

I took a deep breath as I came up to the double doors of the psychiatry unit, forcing my feet to move one after the other until I was standing at the main desk.

"Hey Levi. Uh you're two hours early for your appointment... is something wrong?" Petra asked with a concerned smile.

I didn't answer her straight away, wondering if she was safe enough to tell my story to.

After a few minutes of debating with myself and a few worried glances from Petra I nodded slowly. She smiled and came out from behind the counter.

"Come sit down with me for a second yeah? We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Connie can you take over at the front desk for me please?"

I followed her to the quieter part of the waiting room and sat down on the chair next to hers.

"W-we got into a f-fight." I said as soon as she opened her mouth to speak.

"You and Hanji did?" Petra asked with a reassuring smile.

I shook my head no and took a deep breath.

"Me and Erwin did... I h-hurt h-him and m-mom was crying a lot." I felt my heart ache at the memory, making my lip quiver again.

"Oh Levi... I'm gonna go and call Eren okay? You stay here and I'll be back in a second."

I nodded and watched her walk to the reception area where she picked up the phone.

I tried to look as calm as possible, nobody else needed to know I was hurting.

"That's it Levi, you're strong. Don't let them know that you nearly knocked Erwin unconscious."

He's back again... The voice... what does he want?

"You know what I want boy, you've become arrogant since I've been gone."

"Please go away" I whispered, covering my ears to block out the harsh, raspy voice.

"Nothing you do can get rid of me Levi... you should know that by now."

I covered my ears more but his words still echoed around my thoughts. My sight wove in and out of focus and my breathing picked up quickly.

I felt a light touch on my shoulder and flinched away, so hard that I fell off the chair I was sitting on. I used my legs to shuffle myself backwards against the wall as I clamped my eyes shut.

"Go away, go away, go away, go away, go away, go away." I whispered it over and over. I probably looked like an idiot, but I didn't care.

"What happened to staying calm idiot? Can you do anything right?"

I stopped suddenly and moved my hands from my ears to the floor beside me. He's right...

I always have to mess up somewhere along the line. I cause hurt everywhere I go. If I could take that hurt away from the people I love and put it on me then I would, a thousand times over if it meant they were happy...

I slowly moved my arm so that my wrist was against the wall and ever so slowly began to rub.

It didn't hurt at first, but then the skin started to rub away and pain shot through my arm.

"You're taking the pain away... finally." I heard Hanji's voice echo through my head... she sounds tired.

I rubbed more and more until my wrist became sticky and wet with blood.

And then it stopped and I couldn't move. I opened my eyes slowly to see someone pinning my arms and legs down with theirs.

"Levi... its Jean okay? I'm not going to hurt you but you need to stop okay? Can you do that for me?"

I nodded slowly, finally taking everything in.

"Petra, you need to get Eren here now. Tell him it's an emergency with Levi and Jean said to come."

I looked over to my left to see a crying Petra, who nodded and ran off somewhere. There's another person I've hurt.

"It's going to be okay Levi, I promise."

Don't make promises you can't keep...

••••

*throws this at you and runs*

I'M SORRY.

~Approach_with_care
  Xx

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