"Ok, look, I know that you guys are trying not to stare, because you think I'll be offended, but cut it out. I lost my arm, and I have a robot arm as a replacement for my real one. It's weird, and it's new. I'm not going to get offended by you staring. Stare, ask questions, for god sakes do whatever you must do, but stop pretending that I'm the same." Jude said, louder than necessary, and sort of distraught, but not angrily. 

The entire time Jude was talking, I was looking him in the eye, but still facing away from him. I turned my body so that I was facing Jude, and placed my hand on his knee while Mandie sat on the floor in front of him. I could feel Chic kind of glaring at me, and glaring at my hand that was on Jude's knee, but I ignored him.

"How does it feel?" I asked Jude. He looked at me as if I had just saved him from the pits of hell. Broken, but relieved. 

"It doesn't, I guess. I don't really know how to explain it, because it's weird. I can move my fingers, and bend my elbow and stuff," Jude began to explain. As if to prove to me that he was in full control of his arm, Jude wiggled his fingers. "And, I can sort of feel that I'm moving it, but I can't actually feel  anything. I guess, the best way to really describe it, is that it's like when your hand falls asleep of something."

"How can you control it?" Mandie asked. Jude looked at Mandie this time while he talked, explaining things to her. We all listened intently. Even Chic, who seemed to actually be interested in what Jude had to say.

"I'm one of the first people to have an arm like this. Their experimenting with robot arms in the hope of making life easier for amputees, like me. I agreed to let them use me as a test subject, and I knew all the risks. They had to put me under to attach the arm, because they had to cut what was left of my arm open, and run wires through me. The wires connect to already existing nerves and stuff. So, I move it just like I move my other arm. It's like the world's most complicated coding. The arm can read brain waves and decide what to do. The same as my other arm." Jude explained.

"Ok, so, what are the risks?" I asked, the one question that was on all of our minds.

"Well, my arm could malfunction, which would result in my death. Or, it could go dead or something, and the corrective surgeries for that are very risky. And...we don't know if this will cause any problems." Jude pulled the sleeve of his t-shirt down over his shoulder to show Chic, Mandie, and I some weird purple marks on his shoulder.

It looked like electrical burns combined with lightning bolts. They seemed to start where Jude's robot arm meat his skin, and looked like they were spreading upwards. The longest burn, was starting to climb up Jude's neck. I gently traced my fingers over some of the high tech burns, making Jude flinch and avoid looking at me, and Chic to glare at me. 

"Does - does that hurt?" Mandie stuttered out, her voice laced with concern. Jude simply shook his head. I pulled my hand away, and Jude fixed his shirt. We all sat in seemingly tense silence.

"Well, this party is lame and dreary. Lets do something." Mandie said, jumping up and trying hard to lighten the mood. 

"Actually, I think Brian and I are going to go to bed. It's getting kind of late and I don't want to do anything." Chic said, standing up and beginning to put the snacks and drinks away for later.  

"Are you ok with that Sugar?" Jude asked me. He knew that Chic was speaking for me, and that I really didn't want to go to bed. 

This would have been my chance to speak out, and say that I don't like the way that I've been treated lately. I opened my mouth to speak my mind, and looked at Chic. He knew that I was about to argue with him, and he glared at me. He gave me that look again that said 'you deserve this', and I did. I remembered how much I had hurt Chic, and how well he had treated me before that, and I closed my mouth. I didn't deserve to go have fun with my friends, and I didn't deserve to be happy. I was incredibly lucky just because Chic decided to stay in a relationship with me, because I didn't deserve that either. 

"Yeah. I'm ok with that." I told Jude with a soft sigh. Jude looked at me in concern, knowing that I was lying, and knowing that it was because of Chic glaring at me.

"Well I want to go out. Walk us out Sugar? Jude asked, standing up and holding his hand out to me. I grabbed it, and felt his metallic fingers wrap around mine as he helped me up. 

"Of course." I mumbled, escorting Jude and Mandie to the front door, with one last glance at a glaring Chic. Once outside the front door, Jude told Mandie to wait in the car while he talked to me for a little bit. Mandie just nodded in understanding, and did as she was told. Then Jude turned to me.

"What on earth is going on between you and Chic?" Jude asked me seriously.

"Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"Hun, you know that you can't lie to me. Why did you let him decide what you want to do for you, and what was with all of the glaring?" I bit my lip, not wanting to tell Jude everything. I didn't want him to worry, or be upset, but I knew that he would never let it go.

"Well, he doesn't want me going out with you, or being alone with you or anything. It's completely understandable really. I hurt him, and he didn't deserve that. I deserve him to be angry with me."

"That's the craziest thing I've ever heard. Hun, you've been trying to fix it, and he's not doing anything in return. How is that fair to you?"

"It's not about what's fair to me. I have been trying really hard, and yeah, this relationship does feel pretty one-sided, but that doesn't matter. I deserve for him to be mad at me, I deserve for him to hate me, and I am so lucky that he doesn't. I don't deserve to have fun with you guys. It's not about my happiness. Chic needs to know that he can trust me. I'm trying to show him that he can trust me."

"Hun, you've told me about all of the different ways that you've been trying to show Chic that he can trust you. What has he done to prove that you can trust him?" Jude asked. I began to say something, a retort, a comeback, something, but I froze. I had no argument to Jude's comment. I closed my mouth and looked down at my feet. 

"My point exactly. I'll see you when I get back Sugar." Jude said calmly, and he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. Then he left.