5

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Chapter Six: Everything in Life is Complicated.
1x06:Conventions (2)

*Trigger warning*

Becklean was half awake as she stood on the escalator going down, she was at the airport, Erin was waiting outside to pick her up, she had just come back from a trip to New York for a case for Voight, the airport was packed and she looked a complete and utter mess. Her hair in  a messy bun, her natural curls flopped in different directions, she was wearing a ratty academy tee shirt, ugg boots and some sweat pants with a oversized bomber jacket, that was pretty sure was Kelly's. Kelly and her were weird, since they kissed they had been talking on and off. She was wondering if it was because of the kiss or because she was literally  non stop busy these past few days, he did kiss her back but maybe he was doing it to not hurt her feelings. Her head was swirling around with too many thoughts and endless possibilities and when she stepped down from the escalator a woman rushed by knocking her suitcase open.

"Really?"  she scoffs, kneeling down to pick up her things.

"Becklean?" The blonde looks up, seeing some blonde woman in a red coat. She squints her eyes recognizing the woman from high school.

"Hey, Stephanie"

"It's Lancaster now." she wiggles her ring finger as Becklesn refrains from rolling her eyes.

"Congratulations."

"You need some help?" she asks as Becklean just hurriedly tries to pick her clothes and such off the floor,

" No. Thanks, I've been meaning to upgrade my luggage.".

"You know, we were all just talking about you." the two blondes stand up.

" Yeah?"

" We didn't see your name on the reunion page on Facebook."

" Uh, yeah, you know, I saw that, but I have a thing that I have to get to, so..." Becklean simply says

" So are you working? What... what are you up to?" Stephanie replies with the biggest fake smile on her face.

"Uh, I'm a cop."

" Seriously?" she asks as Becklean folds her arms over her chest.

" Seriously, I'm a cop."

Stephanie laughs "I would've thought you'd be running from them." she snarks as Becklean stands up, she didn't want to go to that reunion.

" Well, come to the reunion. And don't worry... there are plenty of girls who are still single who RSVP'd. I think a big group of them are renting a stretch hummer or something. Oh, and, plus, you might meet someone. But, hey, if not, I understand. It's good seeing you." Stephanie smiles walking off. Becklean can feel the tears forming in her eyes but pulls back not wanting to cry, she walks off.

//
Becklean was tired which wasn't uncommon she had gotten home in enough time to shower and change, before heading out the door again, she had found Gloria a few days ago and Malia was staying with her mom for a bit, she told Malia to call her or come by if she needed too and gave her a spare key.

She walked into the precinct perchy alongside her sister and Jay halstead,

"What's up?" Jay fistbumps as few people as they walk towards the stairs.

"Morning, Sarge."

"Erin, Becklean, good morning." Sarge smiles at the two women who give her a smile and a wave. As they head up the stairs.

" Have you noticed that Platt, like, loves you two for some reason?" Jay whispers as Erin laughs.

"Everyone loves me." she jokes as Jay just rolls his eyes.

"Hey pretty boy you own a suit?" Becklean asks as she scans her hand onto the reader.

"Yeah why?"

"Good You're going with me to my high-school reunion. Also, we're engaged." The door buzzes and opens as Erin laughs walking behind her

" W.. wait." Jay mutters as they walk up the stairs Erin departs from them as Jay pulls Becklean by her arm over to a nearby corner.

"Okay what the hell is happening?"

"I need you to pose as my fiance for my highschool reunion, and before you ask, Kelly and I aren't really speaking to each other right now and I don't want to go alone."

"Why aren't you and Severide speaking?" Jay folds his arms over his chest,

"It's not important, There's this evil woman who tormented me in highschool and I can't go single, I can't sit there and let her treat me badly again I wont." Becklean was practically shaking as Jay put a hand on her shoulder soothing her, easing her nerves, things just seemed to fit with Jay they were easier.

"What is going on you seem shaken up?"

"She, uh, did some really fucked up things to me Jay and I just really need you to help me I promise I will owe you one." she explains as Jay nods automatically.

"Of course, whatever you need."

"Thanks."

They depart to their desk, as Erin is talking with Becklean at hers, the two were laughing at joke or something, Erin and Becklean were never going to not be close, she assumed that Erin liked Jay so she did what any sister would and went to talk to her about it among other things.

Becklean knocks on Erin's door; she opens it, her smile fading once she sees the tears in her eyes, she of course immediately lets her into the apartment closing the door.

"I did a bad thing."

"Okay calm down whatever you did I am sure it is all gonna be okay."

Becklean hadn't taken note of the state of her sister's apartment, the dimly lit candles and soft music flowing throughout the house, if one didn't know any better they would think she was on a date.

"I kissed Kelly, and he kissed me back and I liked it at first but then I felt this pit in my stomach like I was doing something wrong, like this wasn't good for me. We spent the whole night together it was amazing and then he left and we havent talked much, did I ruin the best friendship I ever had because of some stupid jealously?" she was pacing which was something she did when she was sad, pacing or rocking, it helped keep her grounded,

"Oh Honey," Erin pulls her into a tight hug as she sobs.

"I saw you and Jay how he calmed you so easily, you like him dont you?"

"What? Halstead eww no." she gags a few times as Becklean looks at her.

"You dont like Jay?"

"Bexs oh Honey," she sighs gripping her sister's hand."I am gay." Erin sighs a bit as the two look at each other in the face.

"You are gay as in.."

"I like women," Erin nods as Becklean sniffles hugging her tightly, Erin just chuckles she knew her sister wouldn't care as long as she was happy.

"But you got defensive with Voight when he mentioned Jay.?"

"That was a cover I am not ready to tell Voight just yet." she explains as Becklean nods and squeals

"Ooh, you like girls I can't wait to see you type," Erin laughs as Becklean sniffles looking around. "Oh my god, were we on a date? Did I interrupt your date?"

"No she hasn't arrived yet,"

"Yet?" Becklean squeals again as Erin laughs, the two sisters hugging it out; they talk for a bit before Becklean leaves, deciding to call it a night. Vowing to keep Erin's secret safe with her.

Jin passed out the case file as Becklean sits down at her desk opening them her blood boiling , skin hot this was taking her back to those days.

"Oh, my God. These poor girls." she says as Jay watches her closely from his desk. He was worried about her. He grabs his own file putting his book away.

"Media's calling him "The Riverwalk killer."  Mayor's flipping out on the Superintendent, who's flipping out on the Chief. None of that matters to me. Two young women are dead and were put through something so horrific... It ain't gonna happen again." Voight explains the debriefing had just begun.

" There's no witnesses. Area central searched every crime scene and came up blank on physical evidence."

" Pods?" Ruzek asks.

" Zero."

" Detectives from the Special victim Unit in New York are en route right now to help out." Voight explains as Becklean sighs.

" They also had two victims killed in their city two days apart, "and traffic cameras picked up a male, white, 5'10" wearing a hoodie following both victims, but they couldn't get a clear visual on his face." she explains.

" What about registered sex offenders?" Jay asks

"Nothing pops. Plus, no DNA yet off any of the victims."

" Hey, we're not waiting around for that. We get proactive. Boots on the ground. I want everyone working the river looking for suspicious behavior. Dress the part." Voight orders as everyone walks off.

//

"Oh, my God, whoever is panting in the mic, you're killing me right now." Ruzek's voice comes over the mics.

" Bite me, Ruzek. I've been running for an hour." Erin snaps as Becklean just shakes her head, she was sitting on a bench pretending to be reading, everyone had different disguises on, Ruzek was pretending to be a sight seer, Antonio was a construction worker, Erin was a jogger, O was looking up from the bridge, Jay was riding a bike, and Becklean was pretending to read,

"All right, everyone check the ramp. Eyes on a male... white, brown hoodie."

" In pursuit."

" Hey! Police! Let her go!" Becklean yells as they run after the guy.

"Hold on! Ma'am, you okay?" Erin checks on a woman that he hit on his way by.

Jay launches himself in the air  to tackle the guy. " Don't move! I'm gonna crack you! You hear me? Give me your hand."

"Offender in custody."Becklean catches up with Jay and she pants out of breath as Jay scoops the guy up. They go to the street waiting for Voight and Antonio. They appear as Jay is holding up evidence from the perps pocket.

"Theo Mitchell, and I don't think he's our guy."

"Based on?" Voight growls as Becklean rolls her eyes.

" Found four wallets and three watches on him. He's a pickpocket, a purse-snatcher."

" Four arrests in the last ten years along those lines. Nothing violent... no rape, no murder, not even a sexual assault." Erin explains as well.

" What do you think?" Voight turns to Antonio

" Let's bring him in."

//

The detectives from NYPD showed up and they all introduced themselves to each other.
Detective Rollins, and Detective Tutuola.

" Start off looking for patterns, obviously. Why New York and now Chicago? Is this guy a salesman, and this just happens to be his route? Maybe an interstate trucker?"

" Yeah. The only commonality that we could find that might be worth pursuing, is there was a manufacturing trade show convention in New York at the time of our Rape murder. Now, that convention is now here in town at the Rittenton Center?"

" Rittenhouse, yeah. Yeah. Jin." Voight takes the File from Rollins, handing it to Jun.

"Yeah, on it."

" So who is this guy? I mean, what are we looking for?" Becklean asks through gritted teeth, she was pissed off since this entire case happened, she hated it, this type of thing always happened when she was working the streets. It scared her truthfully.

" This perp has been elevated to kill status. I mean, in terms of the rape and murder, there are five different profile psyches. I think we're looking at an anger retaliatory rapist."

" Why the ear? I mean, I get that he's a sadistic son of a bitch and everything, but is he trying to establish some sort of cred or... ?" Ruzek asks.

" Usually as a souvenir or a trophy. Sometimes they even make shrines."

"Yuck." Someone says as everyone in the room grimaces.

" How long we have you guys for?"

" As long as you need." Rollins nods

//

"FYI, you're not just my fiancé. You're my fiancé that got in early at Facebook, like, way early. You're worth at least $10 million." Becklean was pacing, it was just her and Jay Erin was back at the precinct while Jay and Becklean checked out a conference, where a perp might be.

"Well, how about I get a perm and I wear a hoodie, and you can just tell everybody I'm Mark Zuckerberg?" Jay says as Becklean laughs.

"The reason I don't wear a ring..."

" Why can't I be a cop?" Jay shrugs.

" What does your suit look like?"

" Like a suit." Jay replies nonchalantly as Becklean pinches the bridge of her nose.

" It has to look high end."

" I have nice suits."  He says as she just shrugs and laughs. The doors for the conference room open. And they watch as people file out.

"There." Becklean nods at the man as Jay gets up from the bench.  They approach the man.

" Jeffrey Baker?"

" Yes?"

" Detectives West and Halstead, Chicago P.D." Becklean moves her jacket out of the way to reveal her badge,

"Apparently, there's been some damage to your hotel room. Housekeeping made a complaint. Would you mind coming with us to talk about it?" Jay explains as Jefferey's eyes linger on Becklean.

" I didn't do any damage to my hotel room." he says looking at Both detectives now.

"Great. You can clear all that up, down at the district." Jay steps over a bit letting his arm out. " After you."

//

"So how long have you been in town?" Becklean asks as she picks up a water bottle.

" Five days."

" Mm. From St. Louis?" she smiles at him, it was that smile that attracted all the men in the area. Made their knees weak.

" That's right."

" You been to the Riverwalk at all, Jeffrey?"

" What does that have to do with my hotel room?" he asks as Jay just continues to glare at him.

" I'll ask you, again. You been to the Riverwalk?"

" I have."

" When?" Jay asks as Becklean smiles as she sips some water from her cup. 

'"Forgive me, but I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm not here about a hotel room."

" Well, why else would we bring you in?" Becklean asks with a shrug.

" I haven't the foggiest."

" Mm." she smiles at him tilting her cup towards the man. "Oh, would you like some water?" She pulls out another plastic cup from the stack and folds her arms over her chest. Jeffery is now staring at her full on as she smiles her eyes twinkly and shimmer under fluttery lashes. That man was practically butter and he was trying his best not to show it.

" No, thank you." he says simply as Becklean just shrugs.

" What days and times were you at the Riverwalk?" Jay asks as Jeffery finally peels his eyes off of Becklean.

" Do you get the Internet here? 'Cause there's this great video on YouTube by this law-school professor, and he's very articulate, and he makes a very compelling and convincing argument. It's called "don't talk to cops." No offense." Jeffery smiles as Jay's glare doesn't let up. Jay hops up out of the chair. Walking over to the side of the table where Jeffery was sitting.

He lets out a sadistic chuckle. " You're not in St. Louis, Jeffrey. We've had two murder here in the last few days where the women were mutilated. Now, you're gonna answer some questions about that. Wipe that stupid smile off your face."

" I will remove the smile, as requested, and tell you very seriously that you have the wrong guy."

" We want the dates and times you were at the Riverwalk." Becklean slides a notebook in front of Jeffery as Antonio opens the door. He nods as Becklean gets up.

" Get writing," Jay says as the two partners go outside.

" There's been another rape down at the Riverwalk. The victim survived. She's at Chicago Med." Antonio explains as Becklean sighs and nods, she was gonna have to go with him and interrogate, not that Erin wasn't qualified, just that she had more experience with dealing with women in distress.

//
" Hi, Vanessa" she turns to Vannessa's mom. " Ma'am. I'm Detective West  and this is Detective Dawson, and we're here to try to..."

" I'll do whatever I can to help you catch him." she says as Becklean looks back at Antonio before nodding.

" All right. Thank you." Becklean nods.

" Can you take us through what happened?"

" I'm on the soccer team at school, so I like to get a run in after practice, and I cut through Riverwalk the way I do every day, and out of nowhere, this guy appears in a brown hoodie with a mask on."

" Did he say anything?" Antonio asks.

" Just to shut up and not scream.He put a hand over my mouth, and he dragged me to, like, this dark area underneath the stairs. And then he yanked my sweats and underwear down, and that's when... that... that's when he did it."

" Okay. Is there anything that you could see on him... scars, a birthmark?" Becklean asks.

" No."

" What about height and weight?" Antonio suggested.

" He was about your height, maybe a little heavier than you. He had brown eyes, and I saw some of his hair. It was dirty blonde."

" Well, that's great. That's a lot more than we had." he smiles at her.

" Is there anything else that you saw that could help us identify him?"

"When he took his knife out... something kicked in. We just had this self-defense class at school, and the instructor lady said that if you don't remember anything else, you should slap, grab, twist, and pull. And that's what I did."

Becklean comes over to her bed and grabs her hand taking a seat. " Good. I'm glad you did. Now, when that happened, were you able to scratch his face or... ?"

" It got my thumbnail inside his eye, his right eye... deep. He screamed, and he fell off of me, and... and that's when I ran."

" You have been amazing." She smiles.

" He didn't break me. I want him to know that."

" He will." Antonio says the two thank her for their time and meet up with Voight outside.

"The guy we brought in, Jeffrey Baker... What eye color does he have?"

" Blue. Plus, he was in our custody when this rape happened." Becklean explains arms folded over her chest.

" All right, kick him. Get the word out... blonde hair, brown eyes, possible damage to the eye. Check all clinics, hospitals, see if anybody came in for an eye injury."

"I'll get it out to all vehicles and foot patrol." Antonio leaves the two as Becklean and Vought are now walking down the hall.

She lets out a heavy Sigh.

" You all right?" He wraps an arm around her shoulder.

"She's only 16. Let's get him."  she says as Voight nods approvingly.

//

"Okay, so, if the perp was rational, I mean, he'd leave town knowing that the heat is on, but there's a good chance he's not, so most likely he's angrier. He's more fixated because his needs went unmet." Rollins explains sitting on the edge of Jay's desk, she had been making googly eyes with Ruzek and Erin since she arrived. Not that it bothered Erin one bit, a pretty, badass blonde detective was eyeing her up.

" He probably has a good idea that he left DNA under the vIctim's fingernails, and it's only a matter of time before he gets I.D.'d, so he's gonna need to strike soon while he has a chance."

" All right, hospitals and clinics, check with foot patrol down at Riverwalk. beat the bushes on this guy." Voight says as everyone scatters, Becklean needed to go get coffee or she was gonna lose her mind, she stood there in a comfortable silence stirring her coffee.  Her mind trailing away.

"It would be so funny" Stephanie laughs along with a few players from the football team. She husshes them when Becklean comes by her locker, her long blonde hair flowing effortlessly down her back, Becklean wasn't by any means unattractive, she just didn't believe in popularity or status, she wore whatever she wanted and didn't care about the looks or lingering eyes, sometimes her outfits were over the top a bit revealing, other times they were simple tamed, sweatpants and a t shirt.

She was walking over to Kelly who was of course popular and handsome, he had tried to make her popular too but it just didn't work out, and at one point he eventually just gave up, he was sweet to her only when his friends weren't watching or when they weren't around, the thing about Becklean was, she was crazy smart, she knew things that she shouldn't and always maintained good grades.
"Kells, did you still need me to help you after school with that Math project?" he closes his lockers with a loud thud as she jumps back at the sound a bit.

"Yeah." is all he could muster up to say, she turns her gaze seeing Stephanie and a few Jocks watching as she nods, turning back to Kelly.

"Okay well I will see you later." She smiles at him as he just scowls shovings her shoulder as  he walks past. This behavior use to get to her, it use to make her extremely upset, but now she had thick skin, nothing bothers her, not the drunken slurred abuse from her mom or the bottle cans she would throw, not the men who would use her and discard her away like trash, not anyone, nothing.

She just shakes it off going back to her own locker and getting her books out, the school day had dragged on way too long, and it was finally at the end, Becklean had to do a few things at the school before she would head over to Kelly's, she helped out the janitor with a few task before she would leave, she was currently checking the lights in the gym, there was a spring concert happening that weekend. She wanted to make sure that everything was perfect. She checked each light jotting down a few notes on the clipboard when the doors to the gym opened.

She peers her head in either direction not seeing anyone.

"Hello?" she called out, stepping down from the ladder.  She makes it to the bottom looking around more. "Hello? Anyone there?" she asks. her steps were light, as she looked around, she shrugs not seeing anyone before turning and smacking into a body, she rubs the sore spot on her head looking up. Riley Whittmore was standing in front of her, his eyes twinkling at her, he moved his arm out for her to take, helping her up.  He purposely pushes her body up against his, the two swaying back and forth.

"Uh, Riley what are you doing?"

"I just came to see you. I have always thought you were pretty." he tucks a few hairs behind her ear. 

"Okay you are probably high as a kite so..." she goes to remove his hands off her waist but his hold tightens. He backs her into a wall kissing her face as she shoves him off.

"Come on, you know you want to."  He says as he goes back to kissing her she squirms under his touch, the only guy she truly had eyes for was Kelly, he was sweet, and kind, and loving. She slaps him in the face pushing him off of her and walking away only for more guys from the football team to appear, they make her take off her clothes as she stands there scratch naked covering her extremities with her hands, 

of course they were tennagers, of course they were teenage men, three boys gang raped her while the other recorded, Stephanie comes out of no where smiling and laughing she throws eggs as Becklean, who takes off running, she had managed to find some clothes in her locker and changed into them meeting up with Kelly,

she never spoke of that moment, she continued her highschool year out and when summer came along and she came back with a fresh new look and new clothes no one thought twice,  everyone was immediately nice to her and took her into their friendship groups acting as if nothing happened as if they didnt tramutize her for the rest of her existence.  She never mentioned that story to anyone, not Voight, or Erin or Kelly, not even her therapist. A year later she met Oliver and the two were inseparable.

Becklean hadn't noticed Detective Rollins next to her. Until she hummed and groaned a bit.

"Oh, yeah, that confirms it. Chicago cops cannot make a good cup of coffee either." she snaps out of her thoughts, the two chuckling a bit.

"Here." She hands her the sugar as they both lean back against the ncounter." Thanks for helping us work this case."

" Of course. They're tough... especially when the victims are kids, but, you know, at least Vanessa's alive." Rollins says as Becklean nods.

" It just doesn't make any sense."

" So you want the good guys to win." Rollins speaks up as Becklean shakes her head.

" I want the bad guys to get what's coming to them." Becklean snarls as Rollins nods.

" Well, sometimes they do. Do you believe in karma?"

" I believe in payback." She grits while sipping her coffee.

"Just a little unsolicited advice, just because I've been there... be careful 'cause payback is the biggest bitch when it consumes you." she says as Becklean nods.

//

Becklean was sitting in the driver's seat of the car, Jay was in the passenger seat and Erin was in the back. He stopped complaining about the two women driving, just accepting it and moving on. Erin said she wanted to rest her eyes so she sat in the backseat.

"Halstead, West, and Lindsay." Antonio's voice statics through the radio.

" Parked, we got eyes in the back." Jay replies.

" O and Ruzek?"

" Lobby. Vance is not in his room."

"Stay put." Voight speaks up as the car grows silent a bit.

" Mackinac Island." Becklean speaks up, breaking the silence.

" What?"

" That's where we met. I was at a leadership conference, and you were picking out property for a summer retreat."

" Of course I was." Jay smiles as Becklean rolls her eyes.

" It all went down at the Grand Hotel... fireworks, candlelight."  she explains as Jay smirks.

"This is good. This tells me a lot about you." he says as Erin snorts from the backseat.

" I am adding color to our story. It's just like undercover. The details sell it."

" Yeah, just like going undercover." Jay says with a high pitched voice.

" What?"

" It's ridiculous." Jay laughs as Becklean scoffs, laughing a bit.

"You have no idea what kind of bitches these girls can be."

"Yeah but I am sure you had Kelly Severide there to protect you." Jay mutters bitterly.

"If only you knew." she sighs as Jay looks over at her, she was hiding something, something so big and ugly that it was going to burn her tongue if she spoke about it.

"Jeffrey Baker just walked into the lobby." Becklean and Jay simply look at each other.

"Take him." Voight's voice is heard

" Suspect's exiting through the front door."  O's voice is heard as Becklean and Jay just stay put they werent gonna move unless Voight told them too.

//

"Baker's from St. Louis. Vance is from Shreveport. Not sure how they would've met." Antonio says as They all gather around the white board.

" Some deviant chat room most likely." Detective T says,

" Baker travels for his conventions. Maybe Vance meets him there. Baker's the lookout while Vance does the crime." Jay explains as everyone nods.

" It's a dyad. Both partners plan and commit the crime together, but there is usually a dominant-submissive relationship." Becklean speaks up as everyone gives her a look minus the New York Detectives.

"Like the Columbine kill, the D.C. si*pers, the Menendez brothers, those two yahoos who blew up the Boston marathon."

" Yeah, the dominant force is psychopathic and/or sadistic. The submissive partner is depressed. He's dependent. The leader is gonna be charismatic, you know, enthusiastic. He's looking for a follower to manipulate, while the subordinate... he's vulnerable. He feels lost. He needs someone to lead him." Rollins explains as Becklean nods.

"Baker's the dominant, guaranteed." Becklean says.

" Where's Baker right now?"

" He's in the interview room. He's all lawyered up." O informs Voight who nods.

" Not for long. Put him in the cage."

" Yes, Sergeant." Antonio replies.

//

The intelligence unit found themselves as the Navy Pier

"Spread out." Voight says as everyone goes off on their own.

Becklean was walking down the sidewalk her hands shoved into her pockets, she was trying her best not too let her pissed off face show, but it was hard, everything is happening quickly Ruzek said he saw Vance, everyone was looking for Ruzek, they find him Olinsky shoots Vance down from a bus nearby.

Becklean goes to Visit Vanessa. She tells her how they got the man and holds her while she cries, she knew what that was like, that gut feeling that they could be out there watching you over your shoulder. 

//

She had gotten dressed up in her nicest dress, her cleavage was pushed up way to high curls brimming; she pinned a few of them back, leaving a few loose strands to fall into her face. The air was thick, chilled and she tried her best not to shiver, Jay looked nice, extremely hot one might add, and if they were truthfully dating she would kiss him right now.

"And, of course, now it's raining." She grumbles

" Hold on. The ring... you never talked about the ring. Why don't you wear it?"

" I'll wing it." she says flatly as They round the corner. Seeing a bunch of women screaming excitedly as they exit out of a limousine, she just watched taking it all in, did she really care about what those people thought.

"What am I doing here?" she simply shakes her head as Jay stares at her. "Lets get some drinks?" she says as they walk into a really fancy bar. They are seated at a small table with a beautiful view.

" So, like you saw in the file, I had been Voight's C.I., so he knew me, and when I was 16, 17, he and his wife took me in. They saved me. When I went back to school after that next Summer, everyone could tell I had changed. I just made up who I was... Voight's goddaughter staying with him while my parents were traveling."

"So you've always been good at undercover?" Jay says as Becklean laughs.

" If you mean lying, yeah. I was a street kid"

"So Steph and her crew pulled me into their clique, and pretty soon we were doing everything together... shopping, parties, and... all of it."  She shivers as the mention of Steph and Jay grabs her hand running a thumb over her knuckles.

"What is it about this Stephanie chick?" he asks as she grits her teeth from the taste of her bourbon.

"You don't want to know," she shakes her head as he scoots closer.

"But I do."

"Okay, I was working late, it was a year before Voight took me in, I was helping out with some lighting in the gym. Out of nowhere this jock Rylie he...uh." she looks at Jay with a hint of sadness in her twinkly eyes, "You sure you wanna know this story?" he nods as she sucks in a breath downing the rest of her bourbon. "Alright I warned you," she places the glass down on the table. "I was in a rush trying to hurry up, had to meet Kelly for a tutoring session to help him with a math project, Riley started kissing me, I didn't like it, I shoved him off and continued on with my stuff until..."

"Until?"

"A few of the other jocks show up, they make me strip out of my clothes and three of them, mm, three of them went down on me all at the same time, Stephanie appeared she threw eggs at me, called me a whore, it was like they knew who I was what I did. How I sold my body to get my sister and I food and make sure the lights did not get turned off. It was like they could see me. I ran like hell to Kelly's house, acted like nothing happened, finished out the school year and then I met Voight."

"Whose ass did Voight kick first?"

"No one's I never told him." She says as Jay's eyes go wide.

"You didn't tell him what about Erin?"

"Nope, Jay as of tonight you are the only one that knows." she shrugs as Jay shakes his head at her pulling her in for a hug. "I just stayed quiet,  I ate it. And it still bothers me. I don't know why. Even after days like today, when you would think everything would be put in perspective... I don't know." she says with a sigh as Jay takes her hand looking at her longingly.

"We can't." she replies as Jay lets go of her hand the two were smiling at each other.

" Come on, let's get you home." he says as she stands up stumbling a bit she laughs as Jay holds onto her the stand there staring into each other's  eyes he scoops his hand to the back of her head as they sigh happily.

" Maybe one day."

" Oh, definitely." Jay replies as they walk off.

She stumbles into her apartment with a sigh, Jay had dropped her off a while ago, she looks around seeing her empty house and sighs kicking off her heels, only one thing could cure her sadness, she pads over to the kitchen, going to the cabinet and grabbing a container out before walking over to the draw she pulls out a spoon pulling the foil covering off the container and dipping into the white frosting, she pulls into her mouth with a satisfied sigh.

She was content, with how everything was, just her and that container of frosting, things were going good until a vigorous pounding at her door happened, she wanted expecting anyone so she was a bit confused, her senses were on high alert she sticks her hand in the jar of decorative marbles on the small shelf next to the door, as she looks through the peephole seeing a very nicely dressed Kelly Severide, his hands pinned to his hips,

She of course opens it seeing an angry look on his face,  she opens her mouth to speak and she just walks past her coming into the apartment.

"Hey What's wrong?" she asks. He had clearly been going somewhere important the way he was dressed.

"Why didn't you?...How come you just...." He seemed to be having an argument with himself as Becklean gave him an incredulous look. He just paces a bit before Becklean walks up to him.  She watches him seeing his knuckles bruised and bloody.

"Is everything alright?"

"I went to the reunion tonight, saw all the guys there, Riley asked about you, I told him you were good, he..." Kelly's voice cracks and Becklean can tell he was about to cry." He starts telling me about this Prank a few of the guys and Stephanie pulled, then he shows me the photos, there were photos. I lost it, I just started punching him over and over and over, I hadn't realized what I had done until a few people were pulling me off of him. I made him delete them.'' He was full blown crying now and Becklean was too, small tears sliding down her face.

"I met up with you that night and everything was fine, you were fine.... Why didn't you say something?"

"It wasn't like we were the best of friends, you wouldn't have believed me. No one would have so I just kept it to myself." She explains as Kelly just shakes his head at her, he pulls her into a hug as she sniffles a bit. "Does this mean you aren't mad at me? For kissing you the other night."

"Mad, Bexs I was never mad at you, I'm just scared, Bexs I am so in love with you, I can't lose this friendship that we have. I was scared that if we dated and we broke up we would hate each other."

"I could never hate you, not even in my dreams," she says as the two laugh. "Here let's make a pact right now, that if we start dating even after we break up we will be friends. Deal?" he holds out her pinky as Kelly just looks at her.

"Deal," he replies scoping her pinky with his, the two didnt realize how close they were until  he could feel the rise and fall of her breast, he scoops his hand behind her head, just like Jay, only he doesn't hesitate he goes after what he wants and in that moment all he wanted was her, bent over that counter and moaning and that's exactly what he got.





Word count: 6300


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