It was around midnight when the last customer finally left the café. Ada was busy doing something behind the counter. I guess she was checking the inventory as it was already the end of the day. She was so engrossed with what she was doing. Hindi man lang napansin na lumabas na ang huling customer.

Napatingin ako sa mesang binakante noon. The cup and the small plate that the customer used were still there. Muli akong napatingin kay Ada. I don't think she'll be done soon.

So, I stood up and approached the table. I started cleaning it but I guess my movements caught Ada's attention. Kakahawak ko lang ng baso nang magsalita s'ya.

"Huy, ano ba? Ako na d'yan," she said. Mabilis s'yang lumabas mula sa counter.

"It's okay. Just continue what you're doing."

Napasimangot s'ya at inagaw sa 'kin ang cup na hawak ko na.

"Ano ka ba? Hindi mo trabaho 'yan. Umupo ka na nga lang du'n."

"I can help."

Pinameywangan n'ya 'ko.

"Umupo ka na lang ulit do'n, Lucius."

Ibinaba n'ya pa ang cup para ilagay ang dalawang kamay sa likod ko at bahagya akong itinulak pabalik sa pwesto ko kanina. I chuckled and leaned my weight on her so she had a hard time pushing me. I heard her groan.

"Lucius!" saway n'ya nang mahalata ang ginagawa ko pero rinig ko naman ang tawa sa boses n'ya.

Her face was frowning when I finally got back to my seat. But I could see that she was trying not to smile. She was pretending that she was mad at what I did while I was smiling up at her as she was standing in front of me. Ang mga kamay n'ya ay nakalagay sa mga bewang n'ya.

"D'yan ka lang. Huwag kang gagalaw."

"Pwedeng huminga?" biro ko.

She glared at me.

"Ewan ko. Pwede ba?" inis na tanong n'ya na tinawanan ko lang. She looked so cute trying to get mad at me but failing. "Mabilis lang ako."

I watched her turn around and started cleaning the mess on that table. Mabilis ang naging kilos n'ya. Halatang sanay na sanay. In no time, she managed to clean the table for half a minute. While I think it would take me at least three minutes. Well, I guess that's the reason why she just wanted me to take my seat. Mas tatagal lang ang trabaho n'ya.

She went back to the counter and continued doing the inventory. I had nothing to do but watch her move. I noticed she was frowning a bit, forming a small knot on her forehead whenever she was concentrating, whenever she was serious about what she was doing. And her lips were even pouting a bit as she did so.

I tore my gaze off her and checked my phone instead. Hindi na ulit ako tinawagan ni Dad pagkatapos noon. I didn't have any idea what was happening at the party, or if my friends were there. The group chat was noisy because of Creed, as usual, pero wala silang nababanggit tungkol sa party.

I was about to put my phone back in my pants when Creed mentioned me.

Archer: Hoy, King @ Aius! Pasilip-silip na lang tayo ah?

I rolled my eyes and groaned. Napansin kong bahagyang napasulyap sa 'kin si Ada.

I ignored Creed. But the fucker was at it again.

Archer: Kumusta na?

Archer: Baka naman pwedeng makibalita jan?

Archer: Ang tahimik natin nitong mga nakaraan ah?

Archer: Nalulungkot na ko.

Archer: May kanya-kanya na tayong buhay.

Archer: Pero sana naman walang kalimutan.

Archer: Kayo na lang kaibigan ko.

Tracer: Kami lang kasi ang kayang magtyaga sayo.

Archer: Ouch, man! Parang hindi kaibigan ah?

I chuckled. Wala nang nag-reply sa kanya pagkatapos noon.

Archer: O seen na naman ako.

Archer: Okay lang sana kung hindi ko nakikitang nababasa nyo chats ko eh.

Archer:  Pero seen talaga?

Archer: @ everyone baka naman meet up tayo soon.

Plutus: For fucks sake Creed, someone is trying to sleep!

Archer: Sino?

Plutus: Tangina

Plutus: Alam mo ba kung anong oras na?

Archer: Oo. 12:54 am

Plutus: Magpagtulog ka!

Archer: Mamaya na. Ngayon pang may kausap na ko.

Archer: Kumusta na sa pinakapaborito kong best friend na kahit na minumura ko mahal na mahal ko pa rin?

Plutus: Putangina mo!

Plutus: Tarantado!

Plutus: Bangungutin ka sanang tangina ka!

Archer: Lutong non ah?

Hindi ko na napigilan ang matawa. I shook my head as I finally put the phone back in my pants. Alam ko kasing magsisimula nang mag-asaran ang dalawa. And when I looked at the group chat again later in the morning, I knew it would be full of Kylo's curses.

"Ang saya mo, ah?"

I looked at Ada. She was holding two cups and I could still see steam coming out from them. Tatayo na sana ako para tulungan s'ya. I was afraid she'd get hurt. But Ada shook her head and carefully placed the cups in front of my table before she sat on the chair across from mine.

"Is this the tea exclusive for your coffee buddy?" tanong kong ikinatawa n'ya.

"Oo 'yan nga. Iyan naman ang ipinunta mo rito, 'di ba?"

I didn't say anything. Hindi ko na s'ya itinama. I decided not to tell her that I actually went here not for the tea but to see her instead. As I didn't know where to go right now. Dahil ayaw ko rin namang pumunta sa birthday party ni Ishtar.

I took the cup and placed both of my hands around it, feeling the warmth. I could feel it seep through my veins and I immediately felt relaxed.

It was really the right decision that I came here.

"Kumusta ka na?" she asked.

Nagkibit-balikat ako.

"I still have nightmares... Hirap pa rin akong tanggapin ang nangyari."

Ada nodded. As if she could really understand me.

"Okay lang 'yan. Alam kong hindi madali. Hindi rin naman agad-agad na magagawa mo 'yon," she said. "Pero alam kong sinusubukan mo. At iyon ang mahalaga."

I frowned at her.

"How do you know I am trying?"

She smiled at me, making her look so pretty.

"Kasi nandito ka ulit."

Natahimik ako. I looked down at my tea. Hindi ko na napigilan ang bahagyang mapangiti dahil sa sinabi n'ya.

"Ngiting-ngiti ka kanina, ah?" she said after a while. Napatingin ako sa kanya at nakita kong humihigop s'ya sa tsaa n'ya. "Narinig ko pa ngang tumawa ka."

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow at her, sipping on my tea before putting it down. "Oh... It was my friend. Nangugulo na naman kasi sa gc namin. Though, it isn't something new."

"Madalas n'yang ginagawa n'yon?"

I chuckled.

"Oo. Kami na lang ang nasanay sa kanya."

Well... After being friends with Creed for such a long time, kailangan ko talagang masanay. He wasn't like that at first. He didn't even show any emotions before. Kaya naman nagulat kami nang isang araw ay ngumingiti na s'ya.

But then, it was a relief that he changed. Mas gusto na naming ganito s'ya kaysa sa bumalik s'ya sa dati. As if he was just a killing-machine.

I noticed Ada smiling at me. I cleared my throat before I frowned at her.

"Why?" I asked.

"Wala naman," sabi n'yang umiling. But there was still that soft smile on her lips, making her look even more beautiful. "Natutuwa lang akong makita 'yung totoo mong ngiti."

"My smile looked fake before?"

She chuckled and I couldn't take my eyes off her as she did so.

"Hindi... Dati kasi, grabe 'yung lungkot sa mga mata mo kahit na nakangiti ka. Kahit sino'ng makakita no'n, malalaman na hindi ka talaga masaya."

I stared at her, amazed at how she noticed that so easily when we only had a few interactions before. Pang-ilan na ba 'tong pagkikita namin? Fourth? Fifth time? And I rarely smile on those occasions.

Yet Ada noticed it. She noticed that my smile wasn't genuine. That even though I was smiling as the situation calls for it, there was still that hollow and empty space in my chest that prevented me from feeling genuine happiness.

Hindi ko alam kung ganoon ba kahalata ang lungkot sa mga mata ko dahil madali n'yang nakita 'yon. I tried to act like I was fine for more than a decade now, and I even thought I mastered it. Pero nakita agad ni Ada ang pagkukunwari ko.

"Hindi magiging mabilis, Lucius... Pero alam ko, magiging okay ka," she said with a smile that made her face glow.

I hid my smile over the cup of tea, taking a sip of the drink. Nakita kong humigop din si Ada sa tsaa n'ya pero hindi katulad ko, kitang-kita ko ang ngiti sa mga labi n'ya.

I looked at the clock on the wall behind her. It was past one in the morning. Tahimik na ang paligid but the silence was comfortable. It had been so long since I felt this comfortable with silence. With a woman that I knew nothing about.

I looked at Ada. She looked tired but I could tell that she seemed relaxed as well. It made me feel good. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me. I didn't want to be a bother to her.

"So, you don't have any customers around this time?" I asked when I put down the cup.

She turned her body slightly, glancing at the wall clock behind her before she looked at me.

"Actually, maaga pa nga 'to," she said. "Mga two talaga nawawalan ng customer. Kaya gano'n oras kita pinapunta noon kung sakaling gusto mo ng kausap."

I looked outside. It was dark and quiet. Walang masyadong dumadaang sasakyang sa kalyeng iyon ng mga ganitong oras. I already noticed that the first time I came here.

"Hindi ka natatakot?" I asked.

She stifled a laugh. It was a good thing she wasn't drinking the tea.

"Hindi ako takot sa multo, ano ka ba?"

I stared at her for a while. Then I frowned.

"I mean..." I scratched my left brow. "What if this place gets robbed?"

Ilang sandaling nakatitig lang sa 'kin si Ada. Nakakunot pa ang noo n'ya na para bang sinusubukang intindihin ang sinabi ko. Then, her eyes widened. She even clutched her hand on her chest, just where her heart was, and gasped loudly.

"OMG, oo nga, 'no?"

I stared at her.

"You mean... Hindi mo man lang naisip 'yon?"

She shook her head.

"Hindi! Ang tagal ko na rin kasing nagtatrabaho rito. Pero wala namang nangyayari."

"Still... That might happen," I said as I shook my head. "And here I thought you like watching movies."

She scrunched her nose.

"Hindi ko naman kasi talaga naisip na mangyayari 'yan."

"Pero naisip mong baka binayaran ni Ishtar 'yung driver ng cab na sasakyan mo sana noon?"

"Posible naman talaga! Alam kong mayaman din 'yung Ishtar na 'yon."

"Yet you didn't even think this place might get robbed."

"Safe nga kasi rito."

Hindi makapaniwalang napailing ako sa kanya.

"Paano kung mangyari 'yon? How can you even defend yourself?"

She paused. Nakita ko ang pag-aalangan at takot sa mga mata n'ya. But then she shook her head.

"Hindi mangyayari 'yon."

"You should change your shift. Or at least tell the owner to hire a guard."

She considered it for a while.

"Tinatakot mo 'ko, Lucius..." She tried to laugh but her voice broke.

I took a deep breath. I watched her sip on the tea, trying to calm her nerves.

"It wasn't my intention to scare you. I'm just worried. Mag-isa ka lang dito."

Natigilan si Ada. She stared at me. For a while, she looked like she was about to run as far as she could from me. Hindi ko naman alam kung bakit. Then she chuckled.

"'Wag ka ngang ganyan. Mabilis akong ma-fall."

I looked at her, dumbfounded.

"What?" I said with a laugh.

"Hayaan mo na 'ko rito. Nakakainis naman. Coffee buddies lang dapat tayo!"

"And I can't worry about my coffee buddy?"

She let out a nervous chuckle. Uminom s'ya sa tsaa n'ya.

"Mabilis akong kiligin lalo na kapag may sobrang gwapo na nag-aalala sa 'kin!"

I blinked.

"You find me handsome?"

"Lucius!" Nagpapadyak pa s'ya ng mga paa na parang nawalan na ng pasensya sa 'kin.

Because I couldn't help it, I laughed. She looked cute when she was frustrated.

"Bakit ka ba kasi nandito?" she asked and I knew she was trying to change the subject. "Kailangan mo ulit ng kausap?"

I decided to drop the topic we had earlier. As I've said, I didn't want to make her uncomfortable, especially around me.

"Birthday ni Ishtar," I said. "She has a party. Ayokong pumunta."

"Ah!" She snapped her fingers. "Oo nga. Naaalala ko na. Ini-invite ka n'ya noon. Ngayon pala 'yon..."

"Yeah... Wala 'kong mapuntahan. I thought my friends were there too. So, I decided to go here and annoy you instead."

Natawa s'ya sa sinabi ko.

"Pero wala ang mga kaibigan mo ro'n?"

I shook my head. Their chats earlier told me that they weren't at the party. Though I'm sure as hell that Ishtar invited them.

"Wala. Kanina ko lang nalaman. Nu'ng nag-chat sila sa gc."

"Kaya ba nakangiti ka?"

Muli akong umiling.

"One of my friends was being an asshole again. That was why..."

"Kung napapangiti ka ng mga kaibigan mo, they're good friends then."

Napangiti ako bago tumango.

"They are. Pamilya na ang turing ko sa kanila."

Ada smiled at me.

"That's good to hear."

We fell into a comfortable silence again, drinking our tea. I was glad to feel something like this again, Where I can feel relaxed. Where I can be with someone as comfortable as her. Where I could easily talk about anything I wanted. Hindi ko gustong hanap-hanapin ang ganitong pakiramdam. But then... I don't think I could stay away from this anymore.

"Do you think it's okay if I don't forgive Ishtar?"

Mukhang hindi inaasahan ni Ada ang tanong ko. But she recovered fast.

"Kung ako lang... okay lang naman," she said. "Nahihirapan ka na ngang patawarin ang sarili mo sa nangyari kahit hindi mo naman kasalanan, paano pa kaya 'yung taong may kasalanan na talaga?"

I frowned at her, amused at what she said.

"Why didn't you give the usual advice?" I asked. "That I should learn how to forgive others."

Because that was the usual, right? Iyon din ang madalas na sasabihin ng iba. That I should forgive Ishtar.

Ada gave me a gentle smile.

"Kasi ang dapat mong patawarin talaga ay ang sarili mo, Lucius... Hindi ang ibang tao. Dahil wala ka namang kasalanan talaga."

"Do you think it's better if I continue avoiding her?"

She shrugged her shoulders.

"Kung iyon ang magbibigay sa 'yo ng peace of mind. Alam mo kasi, Lucius, hindi naman pinipilit ang pagpapatawad. If you can't forgive her, then you don't have to. Hindi mo kailangang pilitin ang sarili mo kung mahirap para sa 'yo. Lalo na kung sobra kang nasaktan sa ginawa n'ya."

"I don't know what to do anymore..." I admitted.

"Hmm..." Ada hummed. She gave it careful thought. "Siguro mag-focus ka muna sa pagpapatawad sa sarili mo. Then maybe after that, alam mo na kung ano'ng gagawin mo. Ayoko rin naming bigyan ka ng advice kung ano'ng dapat mong gawin kay Ishtar. Kasi alam kong masyado kang nasaktan at nasasaktan ka pa rin hanggang ngayon. At alam ko rin na hindi mo s'ya kayang patawarin."

She smiled at me. Hindi ko inalis ang titig ko sa kanya kaya kitang-kita ko ang bawat expression n'ya.

"Kaya hindi ako magbibigay ng advice sa 'yo na patawarin mo s'ya kung alam kong mapipilitan ka lang," she continued. "Afterall, the most important person you need to forgive right now is yourself. So, you can finally let go of your pain and guilt."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita pagkatapos. Nanatili lang akong nakatitig sa kanya. I couldn't take my eyes off her as I wondered how she could say all those things I wanted to hear. All the things I needed to hear.

Why the hell did I avoid her in the first place? Nanghinayang ako sa isang taon na iniwasan ko s'ya at hindi ko sinagot ang tawag n'ya. I should've talked to her back then. Siguro ngayon, ayos na ako. Maybe not completely but still, better than I was right now.

I smiled at her. Nakita kong natulala si Ada sa ngiting ibinigay ko sa kanya.

"You're wonderful," I said, staring straight into her eyes.

She blinked. Then she blushed. Itinago n'ya iyon sa paghigop sa tsaa n'ya.

"Sabi ko sa 'yo mabilis akong ma-fall, eh," she whined like a little kid.

And because I couldn't help it, I laughed.