Ada noticed that I don't feel well after a moment I've calmed down. Hindi ko na siguro nagawa pang itago iyon sa mukha ko dahil na rin sa pagod sa mga nangyari ngayong araw. I just felt her hand gently touching my forehead, probably to check my temperature and I almost jumped at how cold her hand was. I know she was in normal temperature and I was just burning in fever kaya ganoon ang naramdaman ko.

"May lagnat ka!" she exclaimed. I saw how regret and guilt flooded her face. "Sana talaga hindi na lang kita tinawagan."

I took a deep breath before I shook my head. Saglit kong ipinikit ang mga mata nang makaramdam ng pagkahilo dahil sa pag-iling.

"It's alright... You said you panicked."

She nodded. Pero nandoon pa rin ang pagsisisi sa mga mata n'ya.

"Medyo... S'ya lang din kasi 'yung customer. Kaming dalawa lang kanina kaya..." Napangiwi s'ya. "Kung ano-ano naiisip ko."

Despite what I felt, despite my fever, despite the throbbing of my head, I managed to put on a small smile.

"You really need to stop watching those kind of movies."

She frowned, scrunching her nose a little. Maya-maya ay ngumiti rin.

"Maupo ka kaya muna? Mataas ang lagnat mo," sabi n'ya at muling pinakiramdam ang noo ko gamit ang likod ng palad n'ya. "Dalhin kaya kita sa ospital?"

I shook my head. Magsasalita na sana pero naunahan n'ya ako.

"Pero ikaw magbabayad, ha? Hindi pa ako sumasahod."

Natawa ako. Pero napakunot ang noo nang muling sumakit ang ulo ko.

Damn... She's really a pain in the head.

"There's no need for me to go to the hospital. I just need to rest."

"Mabuti pa nga. Upo ka muna do'n."

She pointed at the corner where there was a couch. Naglakad ako papunta roon. Ramdam kong nakasunod kaagad sa 'kin si Ada, para pa ngang gustong alalayan ako. Iniisip yatang matutumba ako anumang oras dahil sa taas ng lagnat ko.

I just shook my head. My fever was high and my head was throbbing in pain as fuck but I could manage myself.

But it wasn't what Ada was thinking. Nakahingi pa nga nang maluwag nang makaupo na rin ako sa wakas. I chuckled lightly as I rested my head on the headrest, almost slouching on the couch. Napapikit ako nang mariin nang muling maramdaman ang pananakit ng ulo ko.

"Nakainom ka na ba ng gamot?" I heard Ada's soft voice.

"Yeah... Pero kanina pa," sagot kong nakapikit pa rin.

"Okay..."

I felt her move before I heard her footsteps walking away. She probably went to the counter, or to the working area dahil dinig ko ang tunog ng mga kagamitan doon. She was preparing something, I think. Ang akala ko ay gamot lang ang kukunin n'ya pero mukhang naghahanda rin ng maiinom ko.

The side of my lips rose. I was sure she'd ask me to pay for it even if I didn't order whatever she was preparing. Napaisip tuloy ako kung may small bills ba sa wallet ko maliban sa ilang lilibuhin doon. Baka magkaproblema na naman kami sa sukli.

I just listened to her movements. Hinuhulaan kung ano'ng ginagawa n'ya. She was moving swiftly and carefully. Parang natatakot na gumawa ng ingay dahil baka maistorbo ang pamamahinga ko.

But because it was already past midnight, the place was quiet. Wala na rin gaanong dumadaan na sasakyan sa labas. Idagdag pa ang malakas kong pandinig na naging parte ng training ko noon. All I could hear was her movements and the aircon running.

And it was as if she could hear my thoughts, hininaan n'ya ang lamig ng aircon. Naramdaman ko ang paglapit n'ya at ang paglapag n'ya ng kung ano sa coffee table sa harap ko. The scent assaulted my nose making me feel calm.

"Inumin mo muna 'to, Lucius, bago ka uminom ng gamot," she said.

I opened my eyes. Ada was sitting on a chair in front of me. Napatingin ako sa tasang nakalapag sa table. I was sure it was some kind of tea but I don't know what. The scent wasn't strong. Masarap amuyin. It was making me feel relaxed. Nabawasan din noon ang sakit ng ulo ko.

I frowned.

"What is that?" I asked.

Ada smiled.

"Inumin mo na lang. Makakabuti 'yan sa pakiramdam mo."

Umayos ako ng upo. I reached for the tea and carefully sipped it. I tried to guess what it was from the taste pero hindi ko pa rin matukoy ang lasa. The taste was soft. Pakiramdam ko pa nga ay parang wala akong iniinom pero naramdaman ko ang pagbaba ng init mula sa lalamunan ko.

Inulit ko ang pag-inom.

"Do I have to pay for this?" biro kong ikinatawa n'ya.

"Hindi na. Wala rin naman 'yan sa menu. Isipin mo na lang na kawang-gawa 'yan kasi pinapunta kita rito."

"Thank God... Baka kasi mamroblema ka sa pangsukli. Isang libo pa naman ang ibabayad ko."

She stuck out her tongue. Mahina akong natawa at muling humigop ng tsaa.

"Hubarin mo kaya 'yang jacket mo," she said, pointing at my leather jacket. "Para maginhawaan ka."

I did what she said. Hinubad ko iyon at inilapag sa tabi ko. Doon ko napansin na pawis na pawis na pala ang likod ko.

"Hala, baka matuyuan ka ng pawis. Wala pa naman akong mapapahiram na damit sa 'yo ," Ada said, noticing sweat on my chest.

I shook my head.

"It's okay. Don't worry."

"Sure kang hindi mo kailangang pumunta ng ospital?"

"Yeah... Lagnat lang 'to."

"Pero baka symptoms na pala 'yan ng mas malalang sakit."

I just smiled at her. She was so worried. But I wasn't. I started ignoring my health and my well-being when Angela died. There were even those times when I'm thinking it would be best if... If I follow her.

We fell into silence. I didn't know why I felt that it was comforting. Alam kong nakikita ni Ada ang paghihirap sa mukha ko. But I didn't try to hide it. She already saw me breaking down earlier so there was no use.

And that was what made me confused. It was so easy for Ada to do that. Something my friends couldn't do even after so many years. But with her, just one question from her, made me spill all the emotions that have been built up in my chest for too long.

I couldn't understand how she managed to do that. I couldn't understand why I broke down like that in front of a stranger. I couldn't understand why I let someone I barely even know to see my unguarded emotions. I couldn't understand why I let her see me behind my mask.

I've been trying to act like I was strong. I didn't want to worry my friends, who already have their own families. I didn't want to burden them anymore. They deserve to live happily with their families. Ayoko nang makigulo roon.

I thought I could act like that till the end. Pero isang tanong lang ni Ada, bumuhos ang lahat ng itinatago kong emosyon.

Siguro nga dahil maraming nangyari ngayon. Simula pa lang kaninang umaga. At siguro nga, dumagdag ding hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko ngayon.

I stared at Ada. The steam from the hot tea was dancing between us, making my vision of her somehow foggy. She was just looking at me as if making sure I was really drinking the tea.

I sighed.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I said.

Napakurap s'ya. Nagulat yata sa biglaan kong pagsasalita.

"Alin?"

"I'm not usually like that," I continued. "I'm always in control of my emotions. It's just that... this day had been too much for me."

Hindi agad nagsalita si Ada. Bahagya pang nakakunot ang noo. Pinag-iisipan pa yata kung tungkol saan ang sinasabi ko. Pero maya-maya ay napangiti rin at bahagyang natawa.

"Sus, wala 'yon. 'Wag mo nang alalahanin 'yon."

"I swear I don't usually break down in front of strangers."

"Aray! Ang sakit nu'ng strangers, ha?" sabi n'ya pero natawa naman. "Okay nga lang. Naiintindihan ko. Hindi rin naman maganda 'yung pakiramdam mo ngayon. Baka nakadagdag din 'yon. Tsaka, 'di ba sabi ko rin naman sa 'yo na pumunta ka rito kapag gusto mo ng kausap."

I nodded, convincing her and even myself as well.

Hindi ako nagsalita at muling humigop ng inumin. I just stared at the steam coming out from the tea. Somehow, it was also making me relaxed. Medyo gumagaan na rin ang pakiramdam ko.

"Pero alam mo, mabuti na rin 'yan," Ada said after a while. Napatingin tuloy ako sa kanya. "Hindi rin kasi maganda kung itatago mo lang nararamdaman na. Lalo na kung masakit. Maiipon 'yan. And one day... you'll just explode. Delikado."

I watched the steam from the tea again, lightly nodding my head. Alam ko kung ano'ng ibig sabihin n'ya roon. Just like what happened, I almost exploded in anger. Nasaktan ko si Ishtar. At alam kong mas malala pa ang magagawa ko kung hindi lang ako pinigilan ni Ada.

She knew I would regret it afterward. Gaya rin ng sinabi ng mga kaibigan ko noon nang muntik ko na ring masaktan si Ishtar.

I guess... my emotions already reached their limit. Nahihirapan na akong pigilan iyon.

"Siguro mabilis mo ring nailabas ang emosyon mo kanina kasi hindi tayo masyadong magkakilala," she said. "Hindi naman totally strangers kasi alam mo naman pangalan ko. Alam ko rin pangalan mo. Pero hindi pa rin kita totoong kilala. May mga pagkakataon kasi na parang mas madaling mag-open up sa hindi mo kilala, kaysa sa mga kaibigan mo."

"I didn't want to worry my friends."

Tumango s'ya na parang naiintindihan ang sinabi ko.

"Iyon nga... Tapos kapag sa strangers ka nag-open up, unbiased 'yung opinion nila kasi hindi ka nga nila kilala. Wala silang idea kung sino ka o kung ano ang kwento ng buhay mo. No judgement kung baga. Hindi ka rin mag-aalala kung ano'ng iisipin nila tungkol sa 'yo kasi hindi naman sila parte ng buhay mo. Walang mawawala sa 'yo kung sakali."

I stared at her in awe. Hindi ko akalaing nasagot n'ya agad ang mga tanong ko lang sa sarili ko kanina. I finally got the answers. And I couldn't help but agree with her. Dahil ilang beses na akong sinubukan ng mga kaibigan kong kausapin sila tungkol sa nararamdaman ko pero hindi ko ginawa. I did it once and regretted it immediately.

Ada smiled at me.

"Kaya, promise, naiintindihan kita," she said. There was understanding in her eyes. "Hindi mo kailangang mag-sorry. Proud pa nga ako kasi nakatulong ako sa paggaan ng pakiramdam mo."

I didn't say anything. Napatitig lang ulit ako sa tsaa. The side of my lips rose.

"Tama naman, 'di ba? Gumaan naman ang pakiramdam mo?" may pag-aalangan sa tono ni Ada.

I chuckled. Uminom lang ulit ako sa tsaa.

Yeah... I guess it wasn't the tea. It wasn't even the steam coming out of it. I guess it was because I poured all my emotions out earlier that's why I was feeling a bit better right now.

Napatingin ako kay Ada. She pouted a bit, looking disappointed. Iniisip siguro na mali s'ya ng akala. But I don't want to admit it to her.

Still... I'm thankful.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. Napatingin s'ya sa 'kin. Mas lalo kong nakita ang kalmot sa pisngi n'ya.

"Oh..." Napahawak s'ya sa sugat nang mapansing doon ako nakatingin. "Okay lang. Maliit lang naman 'to. Tsaka aksidente lang talaga ang nangyari."

"What happened?"

She stared at me. Sinisigurado yata kung handa akong marinig ang sagot.

"Nabasag kasi 'yung cup ni Ishtar," she said. "Lumapit ako para sana linisin 'yung bubog at kalat. Tapos tinulungan n'ya ko. Hindi sinasadyang nahagip ng kuko n'ya 'yung mukha ko."

I frowned. Hindi naniniwala sa sinabi n'ya. Nakita n'ya naman ang pagdududa sa mukha ko kaya natawa si Ada.

"Totoo nga! Sorry nga s'ya ng sorry, eh. Tapos halata naman sa mukha n'ya na hindi n'ya talaga sinasadya."

Marahas lang akong bumuntong-hininga. Hindi pa rin naniniwala.

Back then, I would instantly believe that. Ang tingin ko kasi kay Ishtar noon ay hindi magagawang manakit ng tao. She's a doctor, for fuck's sake.

But when I learned what she did, when I heard directly from her when she said that Angela deserves what happened, that Angela deserves to die, nag-iba na ang tingin ko sa kanya.

"What the fuck is she doing here anyway?" inis kong tanong at uminom ulit sa tsaa. Pampakalma.

"Hindi ka rin yata maniniwala kahit sabihin ko sa 'yo, eh."

"I still need to hear her reason. Otherwise, iisipin kong ginusto ka lang n'ya talagang saktan."

Napalabi s'ya at tinitigan ako. There was that emotion in her eyes. Magaan ang pagkakatingin n'ya sa 'kin. Then she smiled gently at me.

"Nakaka-amaze ka..." she said. "Kahit galit ka sa kanya at kahit may sariling sagot ka na d'yan sa isip mo, gusto mo pa rin malaman ang totoo. Usually kasi, anger blinds people from the truth." She smiled. "Ayaw mo raw kasing pumunta sa birthday party n'ya."

I frowned.

"I still don't see the connection why she went here."

Natawa si Ada.

"Kausapin daw kita para sa kanya. Iniisip yatang may magagawa ako sa desisyon mo."

I scoffed.

"That's bullshit."

"Pero gustong-gusto n'yang pumunta ka talaga. Iyon lang daw ang birthday wish n'ya. 'Yung kausapin mo ulit s'ya at bumalik ang dating kayo."

"I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I even wished I haven't met her." Uminom ulit ako ng tsaa dahil bumabangon na naman ang galit sa dibdib ko.

"Mukhang galit na galit ka talaga sa kanya, ah?"

"So much. I loathe her. After what she did, she should expect that."

I heard Ada take a deep breath.

"Ano ba'ng nangyari?"

I looked at her. There was innocence and understanding in her eyes. Na para bang maiintindihan n'ya kung sakali mang hindi ko sagutin ang tanong n'ya. Kung sakali mang hindi ko sabihin ang nangyari.

I sighed.

"It's a long story."

"It's okay..." nakangiti n'yang sabi. "Wala naman akong ginagawa. Walang ding customer."

She turned around to look at the wall clock behind her. Napatingin din ako roon. The analog clock showed that it was a minute before two am.

Muling tumingin sa 'kin si Ada at ngumiti.

"Sabi ko naman sa 'yo, pumunta ka ng ganitong oras kung gusto mo ng kausap." She stared at me. "This stranger is willing to listen to you."

I stared at her. Somehow, the ticking of the clock sounded louder this time. I could even hear every tick and every tock of it.

I looked at the wall clock behind her. Five seconds before two. I listened to the sound before I looked at Ada again.

"It all started with the game called the Bloody Human Chess game."

Then the clock strikes two.