I wake to the sound of snoring. My phone is against my chest and is still on the call. The time reads 6 hours when I hold it up. I snicker at Brad as he snores deeply. I hang up and roll out of bed. I pull off my bottoms and my cum-crusted underwear and go to the tub to run a bath.

That was fun...I usually don't get off like that. That was my first audible jerk-off. I think I'm spoiled now...especially by the noise of fapping skin.

I add my lavender body wash into the tub and lather it into the water for bubbles. Once it's high enough, I step into lukewarm water and unhook a sponge from the wall. What happened to me hitting the reset button?? I want to go slow, but my sex drive shouts go! Why? I scrub my chest, neck, and underarms, then go down to my stomach.

I sink my upper half lower into the water and move the sponge down. I shut my eyes when the rough texture scrapes my lips down there. Where is this sudden burst of naughtiness coming from? I never masturbate this much. I'm a horn ball...and it's my doing. I started this filthy fest. I will have to pump the brakes and date.

I can't be this racy if I want marriage. I feel like Brad is safe to date. He's nice enough to consider. I can picture us settling down. I wonder what Lil will think of this. Speaking of her, I need to make up with my bestie. I may have been too mean. I was slobbering over the guy nonstop. She didn't have to steal his shit, though. That can still get her fired. She risked losing her job for me. I can't deny that.

I find Lily typing on her phone at the lockers. She doesn't even glance up at me, although she knows it's me coming her way. No one else uses the lockers but us. The other workers have their phones clipped on their pants and hang their bags on a rack. Lily slings her crossbody bag inside. I open my locker and put away my phone. I'd get distracted if it was on me while I was working.

"Can we talk?" I gaze over at her. Lily says nothing. "Look, I didn't mean it...you're not selfish. A basket case, yeah, but not selfish." She sends a message, powers off her phone, and tosses it into her bag. I deliberately close my locker at the same time she closes hers. "See, we're so in sync." Lil hides a laugh; her tugging mouth gives that away. "Twin powers." I do the raise the roof dance. She looks to the ceiling and inverts her lips to fight off the urge to laugh. "Sex twins." She hackles like a hyena. "Got you!"

"Shut up!"

"No...I win. Now you have to talk to me."

My friend faces me. "Fine, what is it?"

"I'm thinking about dating Brad."

Her eyes enlarge. "What?!"

"Yeah, I like him."

"No, you like how he feels; there's a difference."

"No, I actually like him. Yeah, we started out too fast, but I think that's a perk. Right?"

"I mean...you won't be able to date normally. Sex will definitely come before marriage. Have you even told him about your condition??"

"No."

"How about talking more to see if he's into waiting?"

"Okay."

"No more clubs." Lil takes me by the arm and walks me ahead. "Go out to cafes and see movies, go bowling. You know, all the standard crap."

"Way ahead of you. I want a picnic in the park, ice cream moments, walks while holding hands, long drives." I cheese. "Watching the sunset."

"Aww." She pinches my cheek. "Look at my baby dating for the first time. I'm a proud mama." Lil puts on an apologetic face. "I'm sorry about Jace. I won't bring him up again."

"Thanks."

On my lunch break, I text Brad about having coffee in the morning. He hearts the request. Now I just have to get the day off. I go to Mr. Thompson's office and knock twice. My boss looks up from his desk, then waves me inside. "Hello, Madison. How can I help you?" He peers at me over an opened binder.

"I was hoping I could request tomorrow off?"

He mumbles. "But you're full-time, double shift; that was our agreement."

"I still am. Just give me this one day. Come on." I mope. "This will be my first missed day out of how many?"

My boss grumbles again. "That's true...not even a sick day."

"I keep up my Vitamin C."

"I suppose I can allow it; just don't miss the 4th."

"I won't, thank you."

Lily spends a night with me to be my helper. She's more advanced with dating. I'm not. I have no clue what to wear. I'd probably pick out something too revealing. She drops her duffle bag on the floor and closes the door. I forgot to clean up the bad food I had last night. I cringe when her eyes discover it and close my neck up like a turtle when she turns on me. "We agreed!"

"I know...I know! I needed emo food after we fought."

"I'll give that a pass...but no more. I've been faithful to the diet."

"I'm resetting today. I have detox tea."

"Good." Lil goes to a wall closet and pulls apart its doors. "Now...you have to wear something light and pure." She swipes hangers to the side and studies my dresses. Two are chosen, a pale blue sundress and a bright yellow one with lacy bows at the shoulders. "It's between these two."

"Yellow..."

"You read my mind. It'll go great with your hair and eyes. Nude pink is a must for your makeup." My phone rings from my back pocket. Lil whistles a catcall. "Your lover boy?"

I blush before answering. "Hi."

"Hi pretty. I missed your voice."

"Did you?" I whirl my waist around.

"I did...so much that I listened to you sleep."

"Aww...I missed yours too. I heard you snoring this morning."

"Uh oh...I ruined the moment." He sniggers.

"No, it was cute."

"Can we do it again tonight?"

"Umm...no. We have some things we need to talk about."

"Like what?"

"I'll tell you when we meet up, okay? Bye-bye." I terminate the call.

"Was I right?" Lil watches me as if she's all-knowing.

"Maybe."

"He brought it up, didn't he?"

"What shoes should I wear?"

"White sandals...now answer me."

"Only because we...both came together last night...over the phone." I twiddle my thumbs.

"OMG. Maddy! Delete Tinder! Clean your mind."

"Okay, okay, I'll do that." After tackling our face routine, brushing our teeth, and changing into PJs, Lil and I get into bed. This reminds me of our high school days. We stayed in the same bed more than our own. We were inseparable, we still are. That's why we work the same job and live in the same city.

Although sometimes I wish I had Lily's bravery, she's been with more people than me and bounces back after breakups. I'm scared about the morning, and I don't know why. When the light turns off, I move to my side to look at her. I know the fear I feel is in my eyes. "What if he doesn't want marriage?"

"Then kick him to the curb and try another." She responds nonchalantly.

"But I like him."

"He's not the only guy you'll like, Maddy. He was just your first. They'll be more, don't worry."

"Okay....but what if I get burned?"

"Heartache is growth...yeah, it hurts. But that pain is needed to toughen you up for the real world. Also, if he rejects you, he'd have to deal with these hands." She whips them around in a ninja motion. "I got you."

I snort and snuggle into my pillow. "Okay."

#Romance
#Love