- Chapter Forty-Eight -
"Apologise. For ruining my life."

THE DINNER TABLE WAS SILENT. No one said a word or even dared to move in fear that it would make a sound and disrupt the quiet. But at the same time everybody desperately wanted to. It wasn't the kind of quiet that you could revel in and peacefully fall asleep, listening to the soft tweeting of the birds outside the windows as they flew around in the hot summer sun. It was the kind that made you want to eat as quick as you could so you could leave, escape to the bathroom, come up with any excuse that would end up in disappearing.

Words of the events that had occurred the previous day had spread from ear to ear of the family and at first Sherry had completely convinced herself that she was going to get up and beat Potter to a pulp for sharing her secrets. But then Stephanie, who had arrived at the house after her rendezvous with the stranger, confessed that it was in fact her who had told Sirius, who had told Peter, who had told Remus who then got up to go and find Matt wherever he was.

This then lead to his parents asking what was wrong until everybody in the house had known what happened. Sherry tried to be mad at Stephanie because she had told the girl that in trust but it didn't work for long since for one, she was so incredibly relived that Stephanie was safe and for two, Stephanie was there for when Sherry finally crumpled into large sobs that would've had the boys wondering anyway.

Still, when Sherry had forced herself downstairs for dinner to at least try and act like everything was normal, she knew that they knew. Every single pair of eyes was on her, filled with pity and she could've vomited at the sight. Stephanie made a hasty exit, kissing Sherry on the cheek before leaving with a blown kiss and a small wave. Hope bid her farewell and then encouraged everyone to sit down for dinner.

In the haste of everybody sitting down, Sherry tried to hurry back upstairs but Lyall had already gotten to her, bringing her to the table where she reluctantly sat down. She was facing Lyall, he had made sure of it, and she was next to both Hope and Remus. It still didn't make it any better.

She saw Sirius trying to take a look at her cheek, see if what Stephanie had said was true but Sherry had caked the bruise with makeup before coming downstairs so he wasn't going to see anything. The table and Sirius had jolted, as if someone kicked him under the table and he looked to Potter in offence. Sherry simply rolled her eyes and drank some of her water, hoping it could calm her down as at any moment, she felt as if she would either pass out or burst into tears.

Hope had been the one to break the silence, scooping up some rice on her fork whilst everyone except Sherry took a breath of relief at her voice. "So do you boys know what you want to do after school?"

"Being an auror sounds pretty cool." Sirius grinned like there hadn't been any silence at all, Potter nodded in agreement and Hope smiled at them. "Just busting bad guys left and right, saving the wizarding world just from like everything."

"It's a lot of work, Sirius." Lyall mentioned, pausing to eat a mouthful of his dinner whilst Sirius waved him off. Sherry just pushed her food around her plate, a permanent lump in her throat that prevented her from being able to swallow anything. "Three years of training, exams in everything from Concealment and Disguise to Resilience Training. Not to mention the high academic grades required."

Sherry saw Peter shrink back into himself slightly before he piped up slightly with a small clear of his throat. "Auror sounds cool. But I suppose a Magizoologist or maybe a Herbology professor?"

"Correct if I'm wrong, Wormy, but you actually have to get a good score in a subject to become a teacher of it I think." Sirius joked and all four boys laughed, Lyall's chest jerking slightly and Hope shaking her head with a fond smile before she looked at Sherry pushing her food around her plate. "You'd probably be better off as the Ministers secretary."

"Play nice, Sirius." Lyall pointed his fork at the boy who laughed and raised his hands in surrender. Remus smiled at his father and Potter laughed at his friend with Peter chuckling slightly too. Though he also looked slightly stung.

"What about you, Sherry?"

The table quieted again, laughs trailing off and every bit of attention going onto her again. She glanced nervously around at anyone, dinner still being pushed around the plate. It at least looked like she had eaten some of it, even though she hadn't, she hadn't eaten since the previous day when her boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, acted out in horrible ways. Her stomach rumbled sometimes but she just ignored it, however the six pairs of eyes on her was just too much to ignore.

She shrugged her shoulders, looking down at her plate instead of at the boys, Hope and Lyall. That was true, she had absolutely no idea what to do after school. She'd go back to America, that was for sure. And she'd act. No, she'd design fashion. Or she would style peoples hair. Maybe attempting to sing wouldn't be a bad idea either. There were a lot of options for her, but none of them felt right. At least not then.

Hope went to talk again but Sherry had already had enough, pushing her chair out from the table and standing with a small clear of her throat. "Excuse me."

And she ran off the stairs. Not actually running, of course, but walking fast enough to arrive at the bottom of the staircase in just a couple of seconds. Her stomach churned slightly as she ascended them to reach the second floor, fleeing to the bathroom. Hope had sighed as she left but she tried not to let it get the best of her, instead trying not to shed a tear. A strange strangled sound came out of her because of the lump in her throat and she shockingly put a hand to her chest.

The bathroom door shut easily, allowing her slight peace as she stepped backwards, attempting to breathe. For a moment, she just stood with no movement. She took a slow breath and turned towards the sink, needing to be cooled down using cold water from the tap. It spurted out immediately, drops flying off of the porcelain basin and only just missing her as she cupped some water in her hands and leaned down to drag them over her face and gasp as she rose back away from the sink.

Her eyes lifted to face herself in the mirror and the one that stared back at her was almost unrecognisable. No bags under the eyes, carefully covered by concealer. No bruise on the side of her face, layered with foundation. And her hair looked presentable for the first time in a while, she had styled it down so she had more of an option to hide her face.

Going back down there was inevitable but she needed to collect herself. Sitting at a table with him was too much to bear, being asked about her future when she was so unsure of her present was extremely overwhelming and she just had to escape. This was no longer something she could deal with, she had sent Amber and Oliver a letter asking if she could stay with them for at least a week before they went back to school.

She had sent it yesterday so she didn't expect a reply yet. But she hoped it would come soon. However, for the time being she had to endure the relentless annoyance at dinners.

Before she left the bathroom, she checked her cheek again. Some of the makeup may have come off when she wet her face but eventually after looking at herself in the mirror for a long time she came to the conclusion that everyone downstairs knew what happened and she didn't even need to hide it. She looked down again, squeezing her eyes shut before looking up and wiping at them and turning on her heel.

By the time she was downstairs again, no one was at the table anymore. Though her plate of food was still full at her seat along with empty plates and cups at the other seats. Sherry groaned in dread and turned her head, eyeing the chore chart Lyall had crafted for the summer with distaste as her name was scribbled next to the dishes.

"For fucks sake." She mumbled, picking up the empty plates from the table and putting them by the sink. Collecting the glasses next, then the cutlery and then finally scraping her untouched food into the bin and then putting her plate and cutlery with the others.

Gloves on her hands, sleeves rolled up and tap running with soap squirted into the sink, Sherry got to work. There was a sort of peace that came with it, everything the way she wanted it. Clean stuff here, dirty stuff there, bubbles shrouding the view of dirty water produced from the grime of the plates. She could hear the others talking in the living room but ignored it.

Bubbles provided her more entertainment than them anyway. There was a big pile of them on the pink rubber on her hands and she lifted it up to her mouth, blowing them into singular little bubbles instead of a large clump of them and watching as they floated around the kitchen. The tiniest smile raised on her lips as she turned back to the sink and continued with the dishes.

"Opal." Someone said behind her and the smile dropped, she slowly turned around to be met with the sight of Sirius Black stood with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. He was looking around at the bubbles in the air, eyebrows raised. "Those are cute."

"Fuck off." She scoffed turning back around to continue washing the dishes. Sirius didn't seem to quite like listening to her as he came and stood beside her, disrupting a wealthy amount of her peace. Her eyes glared at him from the side and for a moment he just looked at her.

"I wanted to speak to you." He said, serious for once in his life. But Sherry knew it wouldn't last long, he was always joking and would never ever see the gravity of a situation even if it was so strong that it plummeted him into the floor. "About James..."

"Don't start." She ordered, jaw clenching and she became quite tempted to smash the plate in her hand over his head so hard that he passed out. But that was a bit violent so she settled on scrubbing extra hard. "I don't want to hear anything from him. Even if he's using you as his personal owl."

"No, he didn't send me." Sirius admitted and Sherry paused for a second, scrubbing slowing only slightly before she put the plate in her hand on the clean side and reached back into the sink with her gloves to pick up the cutlery. "He doesn't even know I'm here."

"Okay." She shrugged, cleaning every spike of the fork. "I don't really wanna talk to you either. So you can go back now."

"No, I just wanted to tell you that the thing," He said and she paused again, glancing up to the wall in front of her just for a moment before she put the fork to the clean side, slamming it down aggressively. Then she picked up the scissors used in cooking and started cleaning them slowly. "It wasn't James' fault. I, uh, I was the one who...who came up with the idea. And I was the one who, who took the photo. And put them around the school. James, he tried to talk me out of it and just mainly tagged along for the ride. But, uh, yeah. Don't be angry at him, it is tearing him apart from the inside and he thinks he deserves it when truly...it was all me. James is a dick, but I'm the whole dick, balls, hair, all that jazz. Trust me when I say he regrets being there for any of it...I just think you deserve the whole truth from me."

Rage.

Sherry was blinded with white hot rage. It filled her from the tallest hair on her head to her longest toe, searing, burning, scalding red hot bubbling anger that crawled all over her and spread like an infectious disease through every cell, every tissue, every organ and every muscle. Her jaw clenched tighter and her eyes darkened despite the blazing flames within them, roaring wide instead of flickering quietly.

She tightened her grip on the scissors in her hand.

And he pat her on the back like they were friends. He turned around. He walked away. His footsteps traipsed across the kitchen like he hadn't just admitted to ruining her life in every way possible. She wasn't going to forgive Potter and she wasn't going to forgive him or let him get away with it. Her fists had beaten Potter to a pulp, taken away what he loved dearly. His good looks and also Lily Evans. So now she would take away what he loved dearly.

It took one step. One grab. One impulsive decision.

And something felt loose.

Sirius paused, Sherry did too. She stepped back, chest heaving as she stared at what she had just done to him and clutched two things in her hands. One in each. Something soft and something that had done damage. His hand hurriedly reached to the back of his head, feeling around for his locks that he loved so dearly. Then he turned around in horror, eyes blown wide and mouth wide open.

She stood before him with his ponytail clutched in her hand, the scissors in the other. Her body was trembling as he stared at her and his hand began shaking as he felt around the back of his head more to see if it was really true. It was. The ponytail that had once been tied back was now in Sherry's hand and there was only a small tuft of hair in it's place that Sirius kept grasping at as though more would magically grow back.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Apologise."

"What?"

"Apologise." Sherry stepped closer to him, trembling more with anger and Sirius looked scared, almost terrified and he stepped back from her. She seemed eerily calm as she stepped forward again like she was chasing him and he stared at the hair in her hand. "For ruining my life."

"I-"

"What happened here?" Hope demanded, coming in after Sirius' yell. It took a moment for her to process what was going on in the kitchen, her eyes went from Sirius' shocked expression and the hand at the back of his head to Sherry and the scissors in her hand along with the hair. "Sherry!"

"What?" She snapped, turning around to face Hope and all the people behind her. Everyone could see her, watching her. Potter moved Peter out of the way and gaped at the sight too. Lyall's eyes went softer and he stepped forward, coming towards Sherry and she felt her chest tighten, her breathing stop as he got closer. "No."

"Sherry."

"No." She whimpered slightly, a tear escaping her and travelling down her cheek as Hope ushered the boys back into the living room and took Sirius with her. She guided him and Sirius looked to his friends almost brokenly over his hair. Potter looked back but Hope pushed him away. "I cannot do this anymore."

"Sh, sh, sh, sh." Lyall slowly took the scissors and the hair out of her hand, some it falling slowly to the floor whilst Sherry stayed in her place, shaking. He placed them on the table and walked slowly back to the fragile girl in the middle of the kitchen. "You're okay."

"I can't do this anymore." She cried, hardly able to breathe with her chest heaving so harshly. Lyall nodded, shushing her quietly, and he gently wrapped her arms around her. It took a couple of seconds for her to collapse into the hold but eventually she did and let the man hold her comfortingly whilst she sobbed into his chest.

He swayed her gently, stroking her blonde hair and tracing his fingers through the tresses whilst she hiccupped and sniffled. She felt a bit bad about probably getting snot all over his shirt but just supposed she would apologise later. Small shushes came from his lips and she just gripped onto him, there was no doubt in her mind that this may be slightly awkward after they pulled away. But for now she allowed it, crying and soaking some of his shirt with tears.

"Shhhh. You're okay." He said again and she shook her head slightly. Although there must've been something magic about Lyall's touch as she was calming down as quickly as she became angry at Sirius. Soon enough they were just swaying, calm and gentle and Lyall's fingers were tapping on Sherry's bag. "Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong..."

Sherry sniffed, almost amusedly, because of Lyall breaking out into song. She supposed he just didn't know what to do when comforting a young girl just like she didn't know what to do when being comforted by an adult man. She squeezed him slightly tighter as he sung, breathing out in relief at no negative reaction.

"You're enchained by your own sorrow, in your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow." It was a low sort of singing, quiet and only to themselves whilst they went from side to side more rhythmically to the tune of the song they both seemed to know. "How I hate to see you like this, there is no way you can deny it, I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet."

Sherry sniffed again, what a song for him to choose.

"Chiquitita, tell me the truth, I'm a shoulder you can cry on..." Lyall pulled back slowly from Sherry, taking her hands in his and keeping them held as he began to dance slowly, pulling and pushing her arms to try and coax her into moving but she stared at him red-faced and blank. "Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on."

He let go of one of her hands and held the other above her head, encouraging her to turn and with another harsh sniffle, she slowly turned under his hand. Not very enthusiastic but it made Lyall smile and Sherry's lips twitch slightly. "You were always sure of yourself."

He took her other hand again, swaying side to side again and this time she joined in a bit more. Sherry actually moved her body, stepped her feet and moved her shoulders with Lyall supporting her all the way, singing along slightly off-key. "Now I see you've broken a feather. I hope we can patch it up together."

Sherry smiled a bit wider and stepped further back a bit, stretching their arms out before coming back in as Lyall turned her again and she sniffed with a small laugh whilst they began to sing together. "Chiquitita, you and I know,"

"How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving." As soon as Sherry came back to Lyall, he placed a hand on her waist and captured her other with his and soon they were in a not-so-formal classical position as they danced and laughed around the kitchen. "You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end, you will have no time for grieving."

Sherry thought of her old friends back in America when she was younger. Before Stephanie, before Michael and before Connor, before her, before the camp and before everything became crumbling down. She remembered the last year of no-maj elementary school, sat to the side of the gym as other girls danced with their fathers at the annual father-daughter dance the school was so hellbent on doing all the time.

It had been lonely and Sherry had sat with food, drinking and eating and eating some more and throwing up because of eating and going home a mess because her father had left her. She had never danced at those events but still had to watch everyone else there because attendance was mandatory. She remembered watching how lovingly the men smiled at their children, the warm hugs they shared and the pictures they took.

They put up display after every dance they did and left it up for a whole month. After the father-daughter dance, Sherry was always nowhere to be seen. She truly didn't care about the pictures but instead about the smiles within them, fathers holding their daughters hands or even holding them in their arms whilst Sherry wallowed at the side. No one to dance with.

She wondered if this was what it was like, smiling and messing around, not a care in the world with someone who cared for you. If it was what it was like then she supposed the smiles in the pictures were genuine and valid, they were deserved because dancing like this, being cared for like this...it was something she had never experienced.

So as she and Lyall sang and danced with one another like they were the only ones in the house and two people Sherry hated weren't in the next room along, Sherry listened closely to the lyrics of the song Lyall himself had chosen to sing to her.

"Let me hear you sing once more like you did before. Sing a new song, Chiquitita. Try once more like you did before. Sing a new song, Chiquitita."

Sherry smiled, teeth on show as they danced and for one, she felt lighter. Liberated. Free. With the right people, life could pave it's way back to normal and Sherry would be better than everything she was before. She was an atom bomb dressed in cherry red and she would watch everything before this dance burn to the ground. A cherry bomb, working to get ready to land right back on her feet.

•*•*•*•*•

A/N: Let's just pretend that Chiquitita was out at this time, okay?