Kabado.

Sobrang dami kong nararamdaman ngayon, pero umaapaw ang kaba ko ng walang dahilan. Wala naman kasi akong ginawang masama.

"Ano? Wala ka bang balak magpaliwanag kung bakit mo tinago sa akin ang mga iyon?" I asked her in a monotone. We were both seated at the couch at medyo maayos na ang hitsura ni Mommy. Mukhang naisipan na niyang maligo man lang.

"Ano ba mga gusto mong malaman?"

I took a deep breath before answering her question, "Bakit mo ako tinanggalan ng karapatan magkaroon ng tatay? Bakit mo... Kailangan itago sa akin ang mga sulat na pinapadala niya noong panahon na akala ko wala na talaga siyang paki sa akin? Did he even c-cheat?" My voice broke and I saw how Mom swallowed a lump in her throat before opening her mouth.

Nothing came out and it looked like she was hesitating if she would answer my questions or just make me demand for answers again. It took her a while before answering.

"Your Father..." She started pero mukhang hindi niya matatapos ang sasabihin niya dahil alam kong nagdadalawang isip siya. She shook her head before meeting up with my eyes, "Hindi kita tinanggalan ng karapatan magkaroon ng tatay." Tanging iyan ang sinagot niya sa akin and it was bullshsit!

"Anong hindi tinanggalan?!" Tinaasan ko siya ng boses. "Tinago mo mga sulat niya. Nilayo mo siya sa akin. You lied to me... Putangina mo pala—" Naramdaman kong lumapat ang kamay niya sa aking pisngi and it stung but I could care less.

"You don't have the right to raise your voice at me—"

"I have every right to do whatever the fuck I want with you!" Putol ko sa kaniya. "You are a very bad mother. You knew all along that he still cared for me. But why did you make me believe that he didn't? Were you scared that I'll leave your pathetic ass for him?"

Natahimik naman siya sa akin. Bumwelo muna siya bago ako sagutin, "You don't know every single detail on what happened, Fleurienne! I had a reason why I did that. Can't you understand?"

"How the hell am I supposed to understand when you don't even make an effort to explain everything to me?! I'm not a damn kid anymore for fucks sake! Kaya ko na umintindi ng mga mabibigat na bagay na hindi mo kayang sabihin sa akin noon dahil mahina pa ako noon."

She didn't bother answering me anymore. A series of memories flashed in my mind which caused a headache that hurted like a bitch.

"Daddy! Surprise?" I tilted my head at my Dad trying to look cute to see if he bought me a new toy. It has been a few days since I was begging my Father to buy me one of those expensive dolls and he told me if I was a good girl, he'd buy it for me.

"No, Anak. Daddy didn't stop to buy at the mall today. But look what I got you for being a good girl," he said and showed me the bucket of ice cream and my eyes sparkled when I saw that. Ice cream was my comfort food! I'll be happy eating it at any time of the day because I have a sweet tooth.

"Where's Mommy?" I asked him and I saw how his expression changed. I couldn't explain what he was feeling because I'm not really good at expressing my emotions and telling people's emotions yet. I was just seven!

"Mommy is... Not yet here anak ko. Maybe she's out with a business partner. But that's okay! More time with me, love. Is that okay with you?" He asked softly and I smiled before nodding.

"Yey! More time with Daddy!" I exclaimed and he chuckled before patting my head. We both went to our couch and decided to watch frozen. It was fun being with him because everything feels okay with my Daddy.

He never shouted at me. Only Mommy.

I fell asleep while watching the movie and woke up when I heard noise coming from the living room. I was already in my room when I heard the noise. It was very loud. I covered my ears while slowly walking down the stairs when I saw my parents arguing.

"What the hell were you doing out with another guy?" Dad asked and Mom retorted.

"Why are you questioning me? I told you, it was a business meeting!"

"Business meeting?" Dad said sarcastically. "Ilang beses na kitang nakitang may kasamang iba't ibang lalaki! Hinihintay lang kita umamin, putangina." Dad shouted and I didn't understand what he was saying because it was Filipino.

My parents taught me English while growing up and they never actually gave me lessons on our mother tongue.

"E paanong hindi? Wala ka nang panahon para sa akin! Papasok ka ng sobrang aga at uuwi ka ng disoras ng gabi! Pinaramdam mo sa akin na parang wala na akong asawa!" Mom argued.

"Anong klaseng rason 'yan? Sana sinabi mo para magawan natin ng paraan! Alam mo naman na nagtatrabaho ako para sa inyo ni Anathasia!"

"Wala na tayong magagawa. Maghiwalay na tayo. Hindi na natin ito maaayos." Mom told my Father and he stared at my Mom before glaring at her.

"Sige, basta akin si Anathasia." Me? Why did Daddy mention my name? Should I go down there and ask him? No. Not the right time.

"You're not taking her away from me. Mananatili siya rito sa pamamahay na ito!"

"Baka nakalimutan mong ako nagbabayad ng lahat dito? Putangina. Hindi mo masusustensyahan si Anathasia kung ikaw ang kukuha sa kaniya," Dad said, clearly frustrated on what's happening right now.

I am also confused. What will happen?

"Kakayanin ko iyon. Ngayon, kunin mo na ang mga gamit mo at umalis ka na!" Mom shouted and when Dad started walking towards me, I rushed to my bedroom and slept through the night.

The next day... Dad was gone.

Then it hit me. The memories started to become vivid, and slowly... I understood what happened.

"Dad didn't cheat on you. You cheated on my fucking father you whore!" I got slapped on the face once more but I don't regret it. "Dad tried everything to be the best father and yet you wanted all his attention and the reason why you cheated was so unreasonable!"

"Wala kang a-alam!" She stuttered and bullseye! She really did cheat on my Dad. Kinuha ko na ang natirang gamit ko bago pumunta sa may pinto.

"You're really a bad Mother. I hope you know that."

I walked out of the house and booked a grab. I went straight to Claire's house. Her parents are not home because they are on a business trip. Wala na kasi akong ibang tatakbuhan. Hindi naman puwede na lagi akong aasa sa comfort ni Kaito.

Kasi alam kong hindi siya habang-buhay magiging nasa tabi ko. He might even get a girlfriend today or tomorrow! Kaya si Claire lang ang kaya ko takbuhan ngayon kasi ayaw kong masanay na nandiyan ang nagiisang lalaki na may tiwala ako.

Pagkarating ko sa bahay ni Claire, wala siya roon pero alam niyang doon muna ako matutulog. She's staying at our office dahil tinatapos niya gawin ang first collection namin na irerelease sa soft launch.

I decided to do office work as preparation for the opening of our store and while I was typing on my old laptop... Bigla kong naalala ang mga napagtanto ko kanina which made me tear up a little bit.

At least now, alam ko na ang totoo.

Kinuha ko ang bag ko kung saan nakalagay ang mga sulat ni Daddy at naghanap ako ng isa na p'wede kong basahin. I opened the letter and it was a letter from ten years ago. Grabe, gano'n pala ka-consistent si Dad sa pagpapadala ng mga liham?

To the soon to be brightest star, Ana.

Hello, love. It has been six years since you haven't returned any of my letters. Maybe you're still mad at me? I don't know what your Mom told you about me but please be open minded about my point of view.

You're a teen now! How I wish I could be right beside you, celebrating your thirteenth birthday because I know how much you love celebrating your birthday with your loved ones. What do you want for your birthday? Maybe I could send it to you.

You don't know how badly I want to hold you right now, my love. I miss my beautiful daughter. But I guess we're not going to be seeing or hearing from each other for a longer period.

Since you're already a teen, I think your Mom already told you the truth? But if not... I'm here to tell you that everything happens for a reason. She had her reasons and I also have mine. Please understand it anak.

Daddy loves you so much. I hope you get to write back.

It was painful because I could imagine what he's going through when I don't reply to his letters. There were a lot and years had also passed without hearing from me. Hindi ko pa rin talaga maintindihan kung bakit kailangan niya iyon itago sa akin.

I decided to look for my father's social media accounts and when I saw the business tag, I knew it was him. I searched his whereabouts and how he is for the past years and he became really successful since then.

I decided to message him.

To: Mikael Jason Keller

Good evening, Sir. I am Anathasia Fleurienne Keller, your daughter. Sorry for reaching out to you at this hour, but I just have a single request. Would you mind if we meet up at our old house? It can be anytime. I know you're a busy man and I am willing to adjust my schedule just to talk to you. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you and have a good night.

It has been an hour and he still hasn't replied. I was still feeling uneasy so I got my purse and went straight to the archery range to release all my emotions.

After a few hours, I lay down on the mat and checked my phone.

From: Mikael Jason Keller

Good evening, anak. Of course we can meet up. How about next week?

Holy shit. I'm going to face the man that left my life years ago.

I don't know what to feel though.

Should I be excited or scared?