"Yeah, we want those two walls down. We want to create more space so that the store doesn't look cramped."

I was talking to the contractor about everything I wanted. Ako lang kasi ngayon ang nandito dahil umalis si Claire para humanap ng lugar kung saan siya makakahanap ng mga damit that we could re-sell and thrift.

Ang dami na ngang nangyari sa loob ng tatlong araw. We finished painting the outside of our store, and the customized neon sign is on the way. Ngayon, ang sabi ko sa contractor ay sirain na ang dalawang pader at ayusin na ang dressing rooms para masimulan na ang tiles.

Marami nga rin akong gagawin, I rented a truck just to fit the things I am going to buy for the store. Gusto ko kasi isahang bili na lang para hindi ako pabalik balik.

"Okay, I'll leave you and your workers to it. I'll be back in a few hours."

Pumunta naman ako sa Starbucks bago pumunta sa hardware store. I picked out a lot of stuff including cement, hollow blocks, plywood, a few furniture, more paint and wallpaper.

After that, I went to more stores to get the things we would need and sent the truck back to our property so that it'd be faster for them to finish. Pagkatapos noon, I went to Starbucks to buy my daily coffee but while I was looking at the menu, I remembered Kaito's favorite coffee. I decided to order that before going to the mall just to buy books. I want to read more books! Nakakamiss lang dahil lahat ng libro ko ay naiwan sa Japan.

I told Kaito to do whatever the fuck he wanted to do with it. Sell it, burn it, or throw it away.

While I was walking, nagulat ako nang makasalubong ko si Mrs. Ren. She immediately hugged me when she saw me and of course I wrapped my arms around her too.

"How are you, sweetie?" She asked then pulled me to the nearest bench and we chatted. "I heard you're having a start-up business?" She asked and I was confused on how she found that out. Hindi naman kami mutuals sa Instagram ah?

"Paano niyo naman po nalaman?" I asked.

She smiled before patting my shoulder, "Kaito mentioned. He said he saw your Instagram post. Congrats 'nak. Buti naka ipon ka kahit papaano," she gave me a meaningful smile which warmed my heart because right now... it feels like she's my mother. Buti pa siya kinukumusta ako. My own mother can't even do that and it's sick.

"Oh," tanging iyan lang ang akin nasagot.

Nakita ko siyang ngumisi, "I'm starting to really doubt that nothing happened between you and my Son during the time you two were living on the same roof." She wiggled her eyebrows and I suddenly became flustered. Wala naman kasi talagang nangyari!

"Oh, ba't ka namumula? So you are guilty!"

"What?! No! I just—"

"You don't have to explain, Rienne. It's fine. Thank you for bringing at least a little bit of color in his life. Even though he hates winter, he acts so cold around things. He became really... Talkative and different when you left. There was never a day he didn't mention you. Did you two have some sort of... Relationship?"

Ano isasagot ko? Alam ko naman ang totoo—we never were together. But we both know we had a connection... I'm not going to deny that. Every time his hand intertwines with mine, every time we talk heart to heart. Everything is just... It felt real.

"Uhm... I think I liked him? We were always put on the spot where we had our chance to do things... The sexual tension is so high whenever we're alone. Pero walang nangyari sa amin, we were just friends," I answered and Mrs. Ren just gave me a small smile.

"Anyways, are you looking for an investor? I would gladly volunteer," she changed the subject.

"Nako, hindi na po! Masyado na po kayong maraming naitulong sa akin at kung tutuusin... Halos sa inyo pa nanggaling lahat ng ipon ko. Ang laki kasi ng sweldo ko sa inyo e!" I said and she chuckled before shaking her head.

"No, dear. You deserved that kind of money for all the things you've been through. But I insist on investing. I'll give you and your cousin new laptops? And I'll also sponsor three split type aircon and an office computer. What else do you need?"

"Hala! No na po, Tita. Enough na po 'yong mga nabanggit niyo. Jusko! Maraming salamat po," I smiled and hugged her.

"It's nothing, Rienne. I have to go now, see you at the soft launch of your store." We both parted ways and I immediately went back home. Ilang araw na rin kasi kaming natutulog sa office and in a few days I have to stay sa bahay nila Claire dahil ayaw kong makasama si Mommy. Hindi niya pa rin kasi ako kinikibo e 'di wala nalang magkikibuan sa amin.

But I have to go back to the house and get the rest of my stuff. I'll also be investing in a small apartment. Kahit kasi kaming dalawa lang doon nasasakal ako.

Pagpasok ko sa loob ng bahay, nakita ko si Mom na may hawak na mga envelope. Nabitiwan niya lahat noong nakita niya ako and she looked guilty for something. What the fuck were in thise envelopes?

Agad ko siyang nilapitan at kinuha ang isa sa mga iyon. I saw what was written on the envelope.

To My Dearest Ana

Nanigas ako noong nakita ko ang sulat na iyon. It felt like I was submerged with ice cold water... I couldn't move. It was a letter from last year. I saw the date and it's months ago.

I panicked and opened the letter to confirm the thoughts that were creeping inside my mind.

How are you, my beautiful daughter? You've never returned any of my letters and I don't even know if you're able to read them. We don't have any other communication that's why I am persistent in sending you letters twice a month.

I hope you're doing okay. If I'm not mistaken you're now twenty one turning twenty two next year. You're really big na. Sana lumaki ka na marunong mabuhay nang walang suporta ko. Hindi ko naman 'yon ginusto dahil... Iyon ang pasya ng nanay mo.

Hindi ako tumutol sa sinabi niya dahil... takot akong mawala ka talaga sa buhay ko ng tuluyan. Pero kahit gano'n ang nangyari, parang nawala ka pa rin sa buhay ko dahil hindi mo sinasagot ang mga sulat ko.

Kagaya ng mga sinasabi ko lagi sa dulo ng mga sulat ko, mahal na mahal kita anak—

Hindi ko natapos basahin ang sulat dahil sobrang labo na ng paningin ko. I was already down on my knees, crying. What the hell?! Buong buhay ko... Inakala kong wala siyang mga pinapadala na liham. Buong buhay akong naniwala na wala talaga siyang pake sa akin. Putangina naman.

"Kingina!" I shouted and stood up to face my Mom. "Ano 'to? Tangina. Magpaliwanag ka habang nandito pa ako." I told her, trying not to break contact.

I gave her silence for her to speak up and explain. But she didn't bother speaking. She just stood there and stared at the floor.

"Tangina naman, Ma! Hindi mo naman kailangan magsinungaling. I just want you to be honest with me and maybe... I m-might understand," my voice broke.

I demanded answers. I only received silence.

Inipon ko lahat ng mga sulat at umakyat sa aking kwarto. Kinuha ko 'yong duffel bag ko at nilagay doon lahat ng gamit ko. Wala na akong iniwan na damit na ginagamit ko. Bumaba ako at hindi na pinansin si Mama na umiiyak sa lapag.

Habang naglalakad ako ay pinupunasan ko ang mga luha sa mata ko pero may nabangga akong tao habang naglalakad.

"Sorry," I said while looking down. I was about to start walking again to the nearest tricycle lane when the person I bumped into pulled me by my wrist.

That's why I was forced to look at the person's eyes and all the tears suddenly streamed down again when I met Kaito's eyes. It's been only a few weeks but it felt like years since I last saw him.

Agad niya akong niyakap and I just continued crying.

"Kaito..."

"Shh, it's okay, love. Cry it out until you don't feel the pain anymore."