it feels like i haven't vented in this book for a while and it's a little upsetting bc i was doing so well
oh well before we start let me just put a tw for de4th and depression/mental health issues

i'm sure whoever's reading knows about what happened w/ my cat but anyways i miss her so so much and idk if this feeling is even valid bc nobody else in my family has been crying as badly as i've been lately so maybe i'm just blowing things out of proportion?? idek at this point

but it just hurts so much. i basically grew up with weirdo (my cat) and she grew up with me. i've had her since i was 7 and i'm going to be 15 this year. those 9 years felt so precious to me and i wish i could do it all again, it pains me so much to know i'll never see her face again or get the chance to cuddle her when i'm feeling sad.

i keep waking up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and i end up crying a few seconds later and i don't even know what's wrong with me anymore???

it's just so crushing and i want to be in a happy mood and talk to my friends a lot but it's drained me physically and mentally and now i'm afraid my friends both irl and on here are going to think i'm an ass for barely talking and i just feel so alone please i just want someone to hug me and tell me it's going to be ok idc if that sounds weird i just rlly need help.

that's all, i'm sorry today's update couldn't be a happy one but i promise i'll be fine soon probably

until we meet again, this has been chelsea/jane <33