WARNING: May include mentions of rape. No nothing will be graphic. But if you feel uncomfortable with it, then please skip over it. Thank you.

Paige POV

I open the door to my house to find my mum sitting down in her chair watching the news. She was dressed in her scrubs and I'm guessing she was about it leave for work.

"Good evening dear," she says still looking at the TV.

I don't answer her but I walk into the Kitchen. I put my phone on the counter and open the fridge to get some water my throat was dry as crap.

"Paige?" I hear her call out and I still ignore her.

I didn't want to talk. I felt like the second I open my mouth, I'd end up breaking down and crying. And I just don't break down or cry.

"Paige?" I hear mother say. I turn around and see her standing at the doorway.

Her mouth hung open and she walked closer to me, "Paige, sweetheart what's wrong?"

I shake my head and give her a forced smile, "There's nothing wrong mum. Why would something be wrong?"

"Dear," she said sounding worried, "Your mascara is running."

I raise a hand to my face and wipe. I look down at my hands and see that they were covered in a wet black substance known as my mascara. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying.

'Stupid Mascara, Stupid Tears, Stupid Feelings.' I think to myself.

It felt like my chest got tighter as I tried to hold everything together.

I gave a small laugh, "Oh, I didn't even notice. Silly me."

"Paige," my mum said stepping closer to me and I stepped back, "What on earth is upsetting you?"

When I think about it, my mom hasn't seen me cry much. The last time I cried in front of her I was about 7 years old and daddy's funeral. This is ten years later and she hasn't seen a tear since.

"It's nothing mum," I say backing towards the other exit of the Kitchen which lead strait to the stairs, "I'm perfectly fine. You should get to work soon, you wouldn't want to be late."

"Paige-" she starts but I cut her off with a yawn.

"I am so tired!" I say raising my hand to my mouth, "I think I'm gonna turn in early. So have a good night mum and I'll see you in the morning, and tell Joe I said hi."

I hear her call out my name two more times as I run up the stairs.

I open my door and turn on my light. I swear I need to change up my room. My room was painted purple and had white swirls and stars painted all over it. I had wanted it to look like this back when I was fourteen. Back when I wanted to cover myself up with innocence even though it clearly wasn't there. Back when I wasn't... Me.

A lot of people say High School changes you. I could say that's true, but I changed way before high school... High school just showed my true colors.

'When did it all start going wrong...' I think to myself as I walk into my room, though I knew the exact moment... The exact day, hour, minute, and second it happened.

I walk over to my dresser and open the drawer. This drawer was more of a large memory box.

There were several picture of me and my friends, of old family members back in Norwich, of when I was younger with my parents.

I pick up one picture and smile. It was of me, my dad, and my mum. I was about five years old and we all had red lips from the cherry snow cones we were eating.

Flashback

'Look daddy!' I shout running up to him, 'I have cherry lips!'

'Paige!' My mother said said to me, 'you got yourself all messy.'

'Oh relax, Ella,' daddy said to her as he picks me up, 'she just wanted to be a cherry lip monster!' Then he tickled me.

I laughed and squirmed in his arms, 'Daddy should be a cherry lip monster too!'

He raised a eyebrow, 'Should I?" He asked while picking up his snow cone.

'Yes!' I chanted. Then he brung the snow cone to his lips and smashed against his face causing me to laugh widely.

'Jonathan!' My mum shouted laughing, 'why would you do that? Your a complete mess now!'

I laugh, 'Mummy should be a cherry lip monster too!'

'Yes she should.' Daddy said grabbing my mum by the arm.

'Jonathan, no!' Mum said while laughing as my daddy smudged the red sauce against her face.

I heard my aunt laugh not to far away from us, 'Well isn't this a interesting sight.'

'Quite.' My mum laughed then kissed my father.

'Say cheese', my aunt laughed and held up a small camera.

'Cheese!' I shouted as the light flashed.

My aunt handed my dad the camera, and he smiled.

'Look at my two beautiful girls.' He said as he kissed my cheek.

Flashback ended.

I smile at the memory, as I set the picture back in the drawer.

I look up into the mirror and saw that I looked like I freakin raccoon.

'You are a disgusting human being.' A voice that wasn't my own said in my head.

'You're never going to amount to anything! You are the damn scum of the earth!' The voice said again and it was enough to make me want to scream.

I covered my hands over my head and walked to go sit on my bed.

'You don't deserve anything, but to lay flat on you back and take everything you have coming for you.' The voice said again and I close my eyes. I could feel myself shaking uncontrollably as tears fell from my closed eyes.

'Control yourself,' I think to myself, 'Not tonight. Cry for a different reason tonight. Cry about your love life. Don't cry about this...'

'Maybe you didn't deserve this sweetheart,' the voice said again, 'but since DADDY decided not to do his damn job... Daddy's gonna regret it all. I hope he looks up from the pits hell and sees me taking his, useless, disgusting, worthless, daughter like a bloody animal.'

"No..." I mumble to myself as I felt my entire body numb. The thought was about enough to make me sick. It made me want to completely and utterly die.

'I want him to look up, and see his daughter," The voice said again, 'His pride and Joy. Drowning in the pleasure she's about to receive. And let him know it was all. His. Fault. Was it worth it John... Because apparently you weren't.'

"No!" I shout to myself in my empty room. I place my head in my hands sob.

Every night. Every fucking night, the exact same voice. The same voice that haunts every good dream and turns it into a nightmare. The voice that stole every ounce of my innocence without permission. The voice without a face.... The voice that made me believe that voice belonged to everyone, so I shut myself in, cause I'm afraid... Yeah I'm afraid. I'll admit it. I'm afraid. I'm more than afraid, I'm completely and utterly terrified.

'How was your life back in Norwich?' I hear Seth's voice.

'If only you knew...' I think to myself as I felt myself begin to get a headache from all the crying.

'You can tell me anything Paige, you should know that.' I heard his voice say again.

I felt myself calm down a little bit. I sit up and grab my pillow, hugging it close to my chest and getting under the covers.

'I won't let anyone mess with you,' I heard his voice say again as I looked at the ceiling.

'Your interesting and beautiful and kind,' I heard his voice say once again as my eyes got heavier, his voice was almost soothing. As though it were saving me from the voice that tortured me constantly

'Paige,' he said, 'you. Are. Worth it.'

That was the last thing I heard before closed my eyes and slipped into a more peaceful sleep than I had expected to.

%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^%^

"Paige!" I hear someone shout outside my door.

I slowly lift my head off my pillow and look at the clock.

8:43 a.m

I was late for school and I honestly could care less. I had homeroom and first period with Seth and I was not looking forward to it.

"Naomi stop yelling." I heard Nikki's voice.

'Wait,' I think to myself, 'Nikki? Naomi?'

"Maybe she's still sleep." I heard AJ's voice say.

"Maybe she's taking a shower." I heard Stephanie say, "Or do you think she went to school?"

"She couldn't have." I hear Naomi say, "Her car is still here and her mom said she locked herself in her room."

"Girls?" I say.

"Paige?" They all say at once.

I climb out of my bed and walk over to unlock the door. I open it and see my friends standing there.

"Paige!" AJ shouted then hugged me, almost making me fall back.

"Goodness AJ," I say with a small laugh. "What are you girls doing here?"

Naomi held up my own phone and I gave her a confused look.

"Your mom called us off of your phone last night," Naomi explained and handed my phone, "She said that you were really upset, and if you didn't show up for school to come and check on you. I ran by the hospital to grab your phone from your mom."

"Oh," I say then go sit on my bed.

"Paige," Nikki says, "Sweetie what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," I say to them with a smile and it almost hurts. But I don't need them worrying about me.

"Paige, if you mom has to call us and tell us something's wrong with you, then something's wrong." Stephanie said while sitting on my bed next to me.

I shrug, "Well maybe she was over exaggerating. Shouldn't we all be at school."

AJ shook her head, "We went, but decided to come check on you instead."

"Where's my mum?" I ask them.

"She has to take a double shift," Naomi said, "She said she'll be home around noon. She also said that if you found you at home, not to let you go to school. So looks like we have a off day today cause we're not going anywhere and neither is you."

"Now you have nothing to worry about," Nikki said, "So... Now do you want to tell us what's going on?"

I shake my head, "I already told you, nothing's wrong."

"I hate to break it to ya Paige," AJ said, "But you still have mascara stains all over your have."

I look at the mirror that hung over my dresser and saw my face. I almost screamed. God I look horrible.

"Oh good grief." I mumble and walk into the bathroom to wash the make up off my face.

I emerge from the bathroom and the girls look at me worriedly.

Stephanie gives me a small smile, "You know you look beautiful without the makeup on, right?"

I roll my eyes but smile as I walk back to my bed, "Yeah right. I look like the walking dead."

"Paige, you need to tell us what's up." Naomi said.

"Did anything happen yesterday?" Nikki asked. "You seemed just fine in last period."

"I was fine, I am fine." I say as I sit back down on my bed.

Nikki comes and sits next to me, "You are gonna tell us what happened, weather you want to or not."

"Why are you all so worried about it?" I ask raising my voice a little, "It's not that important. I'm fine."

"We're worried because your our friend," Stephanie said.

"Of course it's important, Paige." Naomi said sitting on the other side of me.

"Did something happen after school?" AJ asked sitting on the floor beside my right leg while Stephanie sat beside my left one.

"You dropped of Seth right?" Stephanie asked.

I stayed quite for a moment. I couldn't just keep everything locked up... They wouldn't let me even if I wanted to. But there was so much to tell... So I have to keep most of it to myself.

"Actually," I start, "I went into his house with him."

"Oh," I hear Nikki say beside me, "Uh, what did you guys do?"

I sighed, "We studied for the Physics test. Then we started playing a game."

"What game?" Naomi asked.

I sighed, "20 questions."

"Oh," AJ said, "That game never really turns out.... Um, happy."

"What happened after that?" Stephanie asked.

"Well we started playing and I was stupid enough to ask him who his first crush was," I tell them, and I could feel the lump forming in my throat again as I remember the first reason I had gotten upset yesterday, "And he said it was me. I mean I knew he had feelings for me... But I honestly wasn't ready to hear that. I thought maybe he'd have a little kindergarten crush or something..."

"What happened after that?" Naomi asked me softly.

I take a deep breath, "We played some more and he asked me something that just sorta upset me, and I didn't want to answer him, so he just kept pushing it. Then I asked him why he liked me and we basically argued."

I stopped and wiped away a tear that had decided to leave my eye, even though I keep constantly keep telling myself not to cry.

"I know he likes me," I say as Nikki wraps a arm around me, "But I don't want him to. I'm not good enough for him and he needs to understand that."

"Paige," Naomi said laying her head on my shoulder, "You gotta understand that you can't change his minds about what he wants."

I feel more tears escape my eyes. I did understand that, and it worried me.

"He kissed me." I say barley above a whisper, but I'm guessing they all manage to hear me.

"What?" They all say at the same time.

"He really kissed you?" Stephanie asked me.

I nodded slowly and took a shakes breath, "Yeah."

"Um," Nikki says, "Was the kiss... Ok with you? I mean did you feel comfortable with it or did you not like it or what?"

I shake my head and look at the ground, "I hated it."

They all stay quite and I continued.

"I hated it because I loved it." I say as tears fell more quickly, "I knew for a long time that I liked Seth. There I admit it. I like Seth Rollins. But I don't want to!"

"Oh sweetheart," Nikki said squeezing my shoulder. "It's gonna be ok."

"It hurts." I croak out as I sob harder, "It hurts to say I hate him. It hurts to block him out. It hurts so fucking bad!"

"Then let him in," Naomi said to me, "We all know You and Seth were practically made for each other. He's not going to hurt you."

"I'm gonna hurt him!" I shout, "I always manage to fuck everything up!"

"Paige, you gotta stop saying that." AJ said squeezing my leg. "You do not screw everything up."

"Paige," Nikki said to me, "Dean basically said the exact same thing to me. He thought that if we dated he would hurt me so much. But he's not. You gotta trust in yourself."

We stay quite for a little while as I try to calm myself down.

"It's not that easy Nikki," I say quietly.

"The moment you start trusting in yourself then it will be," Nikki said.

"How do you even do something like that?" I ask. I didn't trust myself, let alone anyone else.

"Well to trust yourself, you have to first trust in others," Stephanie, "And know that others trust you. And I for one could trust you with my life."

"Me too." Nikki and Naomi say at the same time.

"I trust you with my life, but not with my food." AJ said and I laughed.

"Are you still being bitter about those few cheese fries?" I ask her with a laugh as I wipe away a stray tear.

"Those were my last cheese fries and I wanted them so freakin bad!" AJ said hitting my leg.

We all laugh.

"Well cheese fries are made for fatties, so I decided to eat them." I say with a laugh.

"How many times do I gotta tell you?" Naomi said to me, "Your not fat, your 'thick'! There is a difference!"

"Of course there is Naomi." I say with a laugh.

"I'm tired of being sad," Nikki said, "Was that all that was bothering you?"

'Hell no,' I think to myself.

"Yeah that's just about it." I lie to them.

Nikki gives me a strange look but shakes her head, "We'll talk more about boys later. But for now, I say we have a Girls day."

"It's been forever since it was just us," Stephanie said with a smile.

"Let's watch a movie." Naomi said.

"Yeah," AJ said, "Something animated. And full of colors."

I shrug, "We have Up on DVD."

"Yes!" AJ shouted standing up, "but fast forward through the first part. Seeing her die makes me wanna cry."

I laugh, "I think we have popcorn too, a let's do it."

We all stand up and begin to make our way to the living room, but Nikki and Naomi stop me at my bedroom door.

"You're ok, right?" Naomi asked.

I nod and give them a genuine smile at them, "I'm alright, I promise."

They both smile at me, then we make our way down stairs to start the movie.

I didn't lie to them. At that moment I was fine. For that moment and that moment only. Because night time would come again... And my fears would come back to life... But would Seth be able to save me from them this time?

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
Chapter 14 is up! It's a little long, but I honestly think I could have wrote this better than I did...

I know it may have seemed a little boring, but I have to get through the boring stuff before I can get to the nonboring stuff.

So will Paige give Seth a chance.... Oh trust me it's gonna be a little bit harder than just running up to him and saying 'I love you.' Yeah, no. That's not what I have planned... Like at all, but I'm going to keep those little secrets to myself.

Everything seems to be going just well in Nikki and Deans world too... I haven't even scratched the surface with their relationship.

And Naomi and Roman still have that hate relationship.... Yeah we'll see how that goes, specially with Randy in the mix.

Moving on.

Watched RAW last night.

Really wished I didn't.

Why?

Cause I love Sethy. I'm gonna say that again. I LOVE SETH. Just like all the others. I don't care.

But...

He got out there last night....

Like what the hell are you doing?! You just don't... WHAT THR HELL ARE YOU DOING?! And then you wanna fight Roman and Dean ONTOP of all the money you just spent?!

You fucked up.

You really fucked up Seth...

THEN YOU THROW ROMAN INTO A TABLE!?

AND WHERE THE HELL DID DEAN GO?!?

I just get sooo tired of WWE

I say that every week.

And every week I go watch it again.

WWE and I have a love hate relationship...

Don't judge me!

I gotta go, but I'll update tomorrow!

Love you guys

Bye bye!