Chapter 18

I knew I shouldn't do this because duh? Girlfriend na ako, so bakit ko ico-compare ang sarili ko sa non-girlfriend? But I kept on thinking about that scene in the court. Bakit ba siya tumatawa? I mean, unless she's insane, ibig sabihin close sila ni Finley, right? Kasi if not, bakit naman siya tatawa? Is she crazy?

But my annoying fingers have a mind of their own.

I clicked on her profile.

Ugh.

Fine.

She's pretty and she seems cool... but pretty and cool din naman ako! Saka based sa sinabi sa akin, naging partners na sila sa dance dati pa... If type siya ni Finley, e 'di sana siya ang girlfriend ngayon.

Right.

Right!

Finley was right—mamamatay ako sa sama ng loob.

I was already planning my apology na kay Finley. Parang first time niya lang kasi mag-ask sa akin ng anything tapos hindi ko pa nagawa. He literally just asked me to take an interest in him and the things that he liked...

But as I was drafting my apology in my head, bigla kong nakita na nagkaroon ng IG Story iyong account ni Janine. I knew I shouldn't look at it. I was just fueling the crazy in my head! Yet I just found myself viewing her story anonymously. Bakit kasi hindi siya naka-private?! Ayan tuloy, nakita ko!

I knew I shouldn't have looked at it.

She posted a selfie of her and Finley with a caption Congrats, Captain! Finley was just looking at the camera. He looked kinda pissed for whatever reason. Well, at least same kami ni pissed.

Tsk.

Selfie pa sila d'yan.

Kaya ko rin naman magselfie with Finley.

Ugh!

Why did I keep on making myself feel bad?!

* * *

I forced myself to sleep early because I really couldn't stay awake for any more second. I knew I would just be thinking about Janine against my will. I even turned off my phone and just wore my airpods kahit wala namang tunog doon. I was thinking na baka biglang pumunta si Finley dito. I knew he has keys since this was still his place, but hindi naman siya pumapasok dito without knocking.

I knew na if he knocks, I'll definitely open the door for him.

And I really wasn't in the right headspace to talk. I knew I was in the wrong here. Ayoko lang magmukhang super immature sa harapan niya. We could talk tomorrow when my mind's cooled down a bit. For now, I'd freaking sleep.

When I woke up, I immediately grabbed my phone. I didn't know what I was expecting, but I saw no new message from Finley. I stared at our message thread. The last message was from him—the one that I left on read.

Oh, god.

I screwed up.

I remember he told me in New York that he wanted 'communication.' Na ayaw niya ng pinapa-hula siya kung ano iyong problema. I mean, sasabihin ko naman sa kanya! Not last night lang kasi masama iyong loob ko sa Janine na 'yon pati sa selfie nila!

Ugh!

Ako naman may gusto nito. Ako naman nagsabi sa kanya na lowkey kami. If it were for Finley, for sure alam na ng buong school na kaming dalawa.

I chewed on my lower lips as I kept on typing and erasing the messages. Ano ba kasi ang sasabihin ko sa kanya? Should I just apologize... or should I lie and sabihin ko na may headache ako yesterday kaya hindi ako naka-nood? But I didn't want to lie!

'Sorry :('

I stared at my phone. I waited until ma-read niya iyong message. Minutes passed. I felt my heart sinking. Lagi kaya hawak ni Finley iyong phone niya. Impossible na hindi niya nakita iyong message ko...

Hanggang makarating ako sa school, hindi pa rin siya nagre-reply.

Yeah. He was ignoring me.

After the first period, I wanted to ask my friends kung paano sila nagsosorry. Nagka-boyfriend or may boyfriend naman sila ngayon so for sure alam nila ang gagawin... but hindi naman nila alam na may boyfriend ako, so I was stuck with asking help online.

The people of the Internet said that I should just apologize if ako naman talaga ang may fault. Fine. Sinabi rin na pwede ako magbigay ng gift like food or whatever. Fine.

I went to the cafeteria. I stood there for quite a while... and then I realized na hindi ko alam kung ano ang gusto na food ni Finley.

That... was quite the realization.

I knew for sure na mayroong mga alam si Finley tungkol sa akin. Kasi kapag magkasama kami, it's always about what I wanted. He's always asking me kung ano ang gusto kong kainin or gusto kong gawin. Sa mobile games and basketball na nga lang siya masaya tapos nainis pa ako doon.

Gosh.

I am a bad girlfriend.

* * *

Finley really didn't reply to me the whole day.

Rightfully so.

Nung dismissal na, pumunta ako sa gym. Maraming tao doon. Nakita ko iyong mga basketball players pati iyong cheerleaders. Nakita ko si Janine, but I ignored her. Hindi naman ako pumunta dito for her.

"Hi," sabi sa akin nung isang lalaki. "Walang game ngayon. Practice lang."

"I know," I replied. I know na walang game kasi yesterday iyong game na dapat papanoorin ko. "Where is Finley?" I asked.

There was this... look on his face. Na parang inisip niya na 'great. Another Finley fan girl.'

"Wala pa. Papunta pa lang," he replied.

"Thanks."

Lumabas agad ako sa court. I stood on one side as I waited for Finley. After a while, I saw him walking. He was still wearing our uniform but this time, instead na school bag, gym bag iyong hawak niya. He was also wearing headphones and hawak niya iyong phone niya.

I sent him a message and alam ko na mababasa niya unless he blocked me.

'To your right.'

I watched as his forehead creased upon reading the message. Automatic na napa-tingin siya sa right niya. Nakita niya ako na naka-tayo sa isang gilid. He stopped for a while—like he was trying to decide kung ano ang gagawin niya—if he'd ignore me or what.

I looked at him and pouted. I practiced this face! I knew I looked cute and adorable and if he really likes me, he'd fine me cute, too!

I pouted harder.

Finley rolled his eyes, but nonetheless, he walked towards my direction. Napa-tingin ako sa gilid ko kasi I heard some people na papa-labas din ata. Naglakad ako papunta doon na talaga sa gilid ng gym.

"What?" Finley said nung maka-lapit siya sa akin.

Naka-sandal ako sa gilid nung gym. Instead of answering, I handed him a gumamela flower that I picked. Hindi ko kasi alam kung anong food ang bibilhin for him... I thought flowers would be nice, too...

Instead of accepting my peace offering, he just looked at the flower and then at me. He arched his brow.

"Sorry," I said with a pout again.

"For what, exactly?" he asked.

"I ignored your message yesterday."

"Why?"

"Kasi..." I chewed on my lower lips again. "It's gonna sound insane."

"Nothing surprising," he quickly replied.

I glared at him. He just arched his brow again.

"So... it began last, last night. You were playing a game while I was doing my homework. After I was done, I sat beside you but you ignored me the whole time. Tapos may kausap ka sa game na babae..." I said. I paused. He just arched his brow even more like he was making me continue. Ugh. This was so embarrassing. "Then nung sa game. I was actually there yesterday... Tapos nakita ko may kausap ka na girl... And some laughter involved... Tapos someone told me na nung ni-reject mo ako before sa dance, iyong girl na kasama mo yesterday, siya iyong partner mo non."

I averted my gaze.

I felt so embarrassed.

My cheeks felt so hot at this point.

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang sasabihin ni Finley... or if may sasabihin ba siya. I was just waiting for whatever will happen next nung bigla niyang kunin iyong gumamela from my hand. He quickly snatched it away.

"Are you sure you're not imaging things again?" he asked as he tried to smell the gumamela and frowned kasi wala namang amoy 'yon. "Because I don't remember laughing yesterday."

I frowned. "Well... she was laughing, and you were just standing there."

"Exactly," he said.

My forehead creased. "What?"

"I only laugh with my family, friends, and with you," he said. My lips parted. Finley looked at me. "I don't just laugh with anyone. My laughter is exclusive."

"Ugh. You're insufferable."

He grinned. "But good to know that you're jealous."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "I wasn't."

"You aren't? Then why am I holding your apology flower?"

I tried to snatch the flower from him, but he held it above my head. Ugh. His freaking long legs. So unfair na matangkad siya talaga.

"Also..." I trailed.

He looked at me.

"She posted a selfie niyong dalawa," I continued and then averted my gaze because at this point, I really felt like I was down on my knees! Super embarrassing!

Finley wasn't saying anything kaya napa-tingin na rin ako sa kanya to check the expression on his face. There was a grin on his annoying face.

"You want me to stop taking selfies with other girls?" he said using a very annoying tone. "I will. Just say please."

I glared at him. "Ugh. You're annoying."

He just grinned harder. I thought he was going to annoy me even more, instead, he stood beside me, put the gumamela flower sa may left ear ko, wrapped his left arm around my shoulders, and then placed his phone in front of us.

Everything happened so quickly na ni hindi ako naka-smile. My lips were slightly parted and my eyes were slightly wide open kasi hindi ko naman alam na magtatake pala siya ng selfie namin together! He didn't even give me time to check if maayos pa iyong itsura ko. It's been a whole day of me stressing out!

But Finley was looking at our photo. There was a grin on his face. I saw that he clicked the little heart button sa may ilalim para maging favorite photo iyon.

"I'd post this, but you know, lowkey and everything," he said and then a notification appeared on his phone asking kung nasaan na siya kasi magsstart na 'yung practice.

Finley looked at me. He paused for a while and then settled with ruffling the top of my head, so I frowned at him kasi ginulo niya 'yung hair ko.

"Dinner later," he said and then he walked towards the gym but then bumalik siya just to snatch the gumamela from my ear. "This is mine," he said again tapos ay umalis. So annoying. 

**

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