Couples usually have so many things they can have anniversaries for. The first meet, the first date, the first kiss, the first lovemaking, the day they made themselves official, the day they moved in together, and, yes, of course, the most obvious one, the day of their wedding, which obviously wasn't an option for us. It goes without saying, in longer relationships, most of these lose their importance, but during the burning love period we tend to consider all of these milestones super important. Then as the time goes by, we slowly forget all of them, except for the most important one.

And there is Adri and me, whose first meet was well documented by the Hungarian Army - though they haven't pronounced it an official holiday yet, which I still find scandalous - and every single other thing happened on the same day.

At the age of 27, except for my car and my sportbike my whole life could fit into a minivan, so we didn't need any help to move me in. We brought all my stuff to Adri's as soon as we were able to keep our hands away from each other for longer than 30 minutes. Sure, it didn't actually happened on our first day together, but since I hadn't spent more than an hour in my apartment between getting together, and moving my stuff, I consider myself not living there that time.

There is a stereotype about lesbians, which isn't really known in Hungary. It's the infamous U-Haul thing, that we tend to move in together after the second date. I have zero idea how true this is generally. I've never done such thing, and honestly I don't know any lesbians who did. It isn't true even about us, since we did it after our first date.

Jokes aside, I seriously doubt after knowing each other for five years, U-Haul lesbian would be a fitting description in this case.

Probably it needless to say, we didn't actually confess our relationship, we merely became "roommates". To be perfectly honest, at the moment I couldn't give less shit about confessing it to anyone. Sure I would've wanted to proclaim from the housetop that we were together, but if at the time a zombie apocalypse would had eradicated all the humanity except for us, we wouldn't even have realized it, our blindness for everybody and everything else was so serious.

After the first passionate week unfortunately we had to go back to work. As a personel NCO my very first thing at work was to document my own address change before anyone else puts their hand on those papers, and somehow connects the dots. That would've sparked rumours on the base, and the last thing Adri needed is her coming out not being on her own terms. Of course it needed effort from both of us, but I didn't feel offended because of it. In the last week, I was thinking a little - as unbelievable as it sounds - when I was left alone with my thoughts for a few minutes. About this whole lesbian-straight relationship thing, you know? I can hardly call myself an expert on this topic, as a matter of fact, besides ours, I've only seen two others like this. Both were ended by the lesbian woman's impatience to make their relationship public. Do I think it's generally true around the world? Hardly. But the only examples I knew pointed at this, and it gave me some hope. What if it's the most usual reason these can't work? What if it's just another stereotype based on some half-assed information? At best I know why our relationship WOULD work, at worst I knew a mistake that I can't make by any means. Sure it would be nice to say it shows my maturity that I was able to learn from other people's mistakes, but in fact it was more about loving and being protective about Adri so much, that I wouldn't have done anything I felt would hurt her.

So, roomies.

Adri's parents knew we moved in together, and they hated it, my parents and our friends who would've been happy for it, didn't. Needless to say, Adri's parents believed we weren't more than roommates, but my family and our friends wouldn't even have considered we could be only that.

The weeks, then months went by, and our happiness didn't want to decrease a bit. Do you have any idea how exciting it is to have a secret relationship without the remorse of cheating? Of course I'm not saying you can do it for a whole lifetime, but instead of Adri's staying in the closet causing problems for us, it gave further spice to our already everything but dull lovelife.

It's not like staying in secret was an easy task, and Adri didn't help on it that much, when after that week, merely ten minutes in the very first workday she accidentally spat out she found someone. A tall, cute, sporty colleague. I mean, I don't know what she said exactly, but how else could she describe me? English natives probably need some explanation here. In Hungarian language there are no gender pronouns, so unless you don't specifically mention the other person's gender, the people you talk with have zero idea about it. I don't know how a girl in an English speaking area would get away without lies or becoming suspicious, but it did help Adri to talk about it.

Of course since she walked into the base three meters above ground in that first morning, it was nearly impossible to conceal the reason. I was better at acting. I somehow managed to force indifference on my face for the time I took my helmet off, entered my office building and walked to my office. Once I was inside, I just turned the volume of metal up to a point that I only do during my "don't even think about coming anywhere near to me" moods. I somehow survived the first few days like this, and after that I got into the role well enough to make everyone believe there is nothing special going on about me. I could get away without lying even when answering questions about Adri's new boyfriend. "I've never met the guy." Shut up, every single part of it was true!

But no secret can stay secret forever.

Sometime in the middle of the Summer Sanyi decided to organize a family barbecue party, where he invited everyone. I mean EVERYONE. Our parents, Adri, me, Bence... Yup, I haven't talked about it yet, as it wasn't that important in my regard, but Bence caused a little fraction between my brother and I. They became best friends during our relationship, and Sanyi did his best NOT to be considerate about break-up. I know well Bence didn't want to come to this BBQing, but Sanyi - clearly his mother's son, and his sister's brother - harassed him until he finally gave in.

On some level I did understand Sanyi's behavior. Just because his sister break up with her best friend they friendship shouldn't have been affected, but we all know things in reality never work that simple.

And I still loved Bence, but only in the way I loved Sanyi. It was confirmed well before we got together with Adri that I only missed him as a friend, and not as my partner. But it doesn't mean I was ready to handle the situation as an adult should. Maybe it would've been easier if I wasn't having the best days of my life at the moment, but this way... I felt obligated not to showcase my happiness to him especially because I knew he didn't have a serious relationship since our break-up.

Sanyi held the BBQing at the beach of a nearby lake, that was called Sóderbánya, or Sodri by the locals. Sóderbánya means gravelmine in English, and I think it probably explains the nature of how this lake was formed. As far as I know it has never been officially allowed - which in this case is just a nicer way to say strictly forbidden - to swim in its water, but nobody cared about it ever since it existed.

The lake - or more like lake system, as it consisted several ones - was located outside the city borders, and it was reachable only via dirt roads that led thru plow-lands on both sides. I knew it well, which makes it even more baffling why I thought it was a good idea to convince Adri to come here on my bike. A sportbike. Which was black. In the summer 38 degrees of Celsius. On a dirt road. After it hadn't rained in weeks. Instead of an air conditioned car. Do I need to say it wasn't the brightest idea of my life?

The greatest lake of the system laid there untouched ever since I was a little girl. Looking from the road it was laying in the bottom of a roughly two-or three meters deep hollow. Thanks to the years without actual mining work around here, the walls of the hollow were overgrown by lash grass, that was occasionally dotted with fat bushes and spreading trees. Of course at the early 2010s when we weren't used to the old communist ways of fun anymore, the place made us feel rather differently, than it did when I was running around here topless as a four-year-old. It still had its charm though. The charm of the nostalgia, but a charm nonetheless. Yeah, true, it was nothing like the millions of natural lakes around the world, surrounded by beautiful dense woods, but I wasn't connected to those by memories from a more innocent age. Not just me, my parents, Sanyi, Marcsi... everyone who spent every available minute of their summers here 18-20 years ago.

As we reached a clearing after the plowlands and were about 200 meters from the party, I stopped the bike, and looked back at Adri.

"Well, it was bound to happen one day."

"Yeah" Adri let out an anxious sigh.

"Don't worry, Kitten, everything is gonna be fine"

"Do you really think we are going to be able to hide it from them?"

"Well, it's a little too late to worry about that, don't you think?

"I'm serious"

"I know, but we talked about it already. We go there, and have fun. I deny that I have anyone, and you don't go into details about who's yours."

"Yes, but we never had to act around each other for such a long time. What happens if one of us accidentally gives it away somehow?"

"Tragedy. The seven horsemen of the apocalypse rides in, and slaughters everyone."

"Four horsemen. And don't be snarky!"

I fondled her shoulder.

"If we have to get busted, it's the least dangerous environment, don't you think?"

"Well..."

"Who would judge you here? They made their pace with me, and I'm sure every single one of them would be polite enough not to tell on us."

"Well, if you put it that way." Sighed Adri relieved.

"And by the way, if you are so anxious about getting caught, I think you should move your hands from where you are keeping them now."

"This is just how I'm hanging on" she giggled.

"Yeah, totally. And who's the bad girl now?"

"You. That's always you."

I looked at the direction of the party. They couldn't see us clearly from there, but if we took our helmets off and kiss each other, they could've noticed. I sighed, put the bike in gear, and before we catapulted toward for the party, I reached back, and slapped on Adri's bottom.

"Hey" she exclaimed.

"Only because you can't retaliate" I shouted back with a wide grin on my face. As a response, she tightened her grip where she was "hanging on".

We reached to the part where the road widened so much that could be considered a parking lot. I steadied the bike next to the others' cars, then we descended the steep wall of the hollow with Adri. Business as usual, we arrived last, but for once it was intentional. When you try to sell a lie, you should do everything as you'd normally do. If not for that, we would've arrived on time. We tots would've.

The little group was scattered around the beach. Marcsi was overlooking Ádi and some another kid in the shallow part of the lake, mom and dad were laying under a tent not far from them, Sanyi's colleague and his wife were swimming in the water, while my brother and Bence were busy keeping an eye on the barely flickering fire in the grill.

Adri and I greeted everyone one by one, then we separated to mingle. She was kidnapped by mom, and I decided to face my fears of meeting Bence again. I hated to feel this, so I had to get rid of it somehow.

I collected my strength, then slowly walked to the boys.

"Let's not get so far ahead" my brother was explaining. "Montenegro and Kazakhstan are one thing, but the Spanish team..." He stopped as soon as I got close. He sighed, looked at me, then Bence, then again at me. "I think I grab myself another beer. Benny?"

He shook his head.

"You are riding" Sanyi said looking at me "so if I see you anywhere near the beer fridge, I'm gonna kick your ass. Are we clear?"

I nodded, so he left in a hurry.

He still had hard feelings for MY break up. We were alike in so many things, and the way we let people close was one of them. Of course he had Marcsi, with whom they were an extremely great couple, but except for her, and maybe me - after years of sibling hatred at least - he kept everyone else at least one step away. Until I got together with Bence. They found their common points very quickly, and I was happy for them, even if the first of those common points was making me the butt of their jokes. They became as great friends as Adri and I, except for that "little" plus that were formed between us a few months ago.

And THAT'S what I jeopardized by breaking up with Bence. It goes without saying, Sanyi wasn't happy for my action that could result in him losing his only actual friend. Of course he shouldn't have expected us to stay together for his sake, but he still had hard feelings about it.

Fortunately their friendship stayed, but the programs the four of us had together didn't. From that point on, it took effort on Sanyi's part to organize every occasion leaving one of us out of it. Probably he fed up with it, that's why he insisted now to both of us be there at this BBQing.

"Hey again" I greeted Bence shyly.

"Hey"

Silence.

Cricket chirping.

"And... you know... how you doin' lately?" Really smooth Fanny, congratulations.

"Good. I extended my contract by three more years."

"Yes, I know, I filed your papers."

Another silence.

"What do you think about Adri's new love?" He asked after several seconds.

"I'm happy for it. It was about time someone appreciate her as she deserves."

"Have you met h..."

"No!" I exclaimed a little too quickly. "And... did she... tell you anything?"

"Not much. She said she always jumped to conclusions about her relationships too soon, and doesn't want to make the mistake again. But she's really happy."

I nodded.

"And..." Think Fanny, you sure can ask something smart. Something. Anything! "Do you... have someone?"

Anything but this!

"Well" he wondered. "I'm seeing someone, but... it's not the same."

"I'm sorry"

He let out a heavy sigh.

"Don't. I'm not... you know... I'm not sad, it's just... strange" he swung his hand between us. "You know... this."

"I know"

I felt crap for having the times of my life when someone so close to me suffered because of me.

"No, you don't." He sighed again. "I genuinely feel good, just... it's strange to meet. But..." He stopped to scratch the back of his neck. "You won't ever hear this again: you were right."

"Excuse me?"

"I was mad at you, and it hurt. I wanted to hate you, then... then I realized. This was never... never meant to be the happy end for either of us.

I just blinked at him baffled.

"How...? How did you come to this...?" I tattered.

"I'm gonna kill you, if you tell this to anyone" Huh, signs of the old Bence, positive "but... I went to a psychologist." He stopped. Maybe for a dramatic pause, or to receive a response from me, I don't know. But he continued after a few seconds. "And we talked a LOT about our relationship. And the more we talked about it, the more I realized that" He lowered his voice. "You were right."

I grabbed my chest as I was having a heart attack, so he pushed me.

"Not. A. Fucking. Word. To. Anyone. Okay?" He looked at me seriously. "So together we figured out we actually started to be toxic for each other. You get what I'm saying? When you were happy for something, I was looking for how I could make fun of you for it, and when I was happy for something, I was afraid how you will make fun of me for it. Because... I don't know. I was afraid if we didn't have this... then we had nothing at all."

I've never told these fears of mine to anyone. Not even to Adri. Yet, now I've heard my own thoughts back in his voice.

My instincts took over, and before I could realize what I do, I hugged him.

"Thank you" I sighed after we separated.

"I thank you too" answered Bence as soon as we faced each other again. "It had to be this way, just... it sucked."

"I know. Do you think" I looked at him asking. "I mean, you know, if... god such a lame thing to say, but... do you think we can stay friends? I mean, I-I know that this is the very same lame shit people say after every break-up, and they don't mean it, but I do now, because I think we weren't like others, and I would think it would be a mistake to cut all ties after we both are fully over it, and don't..." I stopped. He was smiling. Bence was smiling. "What?"

"Nothing. You are a wacko. You still are."

"Oh. Just like that?"

He wondered.

"Would it have been more clear if I sent it by morse code?"

Well, it wasn't that spot on comeback, but it was a start, wasn't it?

"Ha-ha. Jokes on you. I've long forgotten how to read morse-code."

"You burnt yourself with that, you know that, right?" he said with a wide grin.

"Take it as a 'we talk again' welcome gift, since yours wasn't really spot on."

"Such generosity" He said raising his eyebrow.

"You know me. Everything for friends."

He nodded, and offered his hand to me.

"Friends then?"

"Friends" I said as I offered his gesture.

Oh, I wish so much I could say it put us back to right where we were before our relationship. Or even to say we left all the awkward moments behind us from now on, but...

On the other hand, we were able to communicate again, not just making pointless smalltalk. The minor wins, you know.

By the time Sanyi returned, we were talking about something else entirely.

"So? Did you two make peace with each other?"

We both turned toward him. I waggled my hand, while Bence was shooking his head eagerly.

"You are a horrible woman" My brother pointed at me, then he turned to Bence "and you are a crappy friend. I don't even know why I am still talking to you."

"Because you love us, big bro" I said as I galloped to him, and kissed him on the cheek.

He smiled for a second, then he realized he forgot the role he was playing and shoved me away.

"Now scram, and let the grown ups talk!"

A deafening loud laugh bursted out of me.

"You and Bence as grown ups!"

The rest of the day went great, and the top of it all, as much as I could tell, Adri and I performed our act perfectly. We were close to each other often, but not too much, we talked alone, in groups, or separately, from time to time we touched each other, but no longer or shorter, more intimate or less than we used to do before we got together. We geniously planned and presented it, and as awful actress as I consider Adri is, both of us did great.

As the darkness slowly arrived we built a huge campfire and gathered around it with bacon, sausage and other meat products on pikes. Hardly bothered by the more and more saucy conversation of the adults, the kids were still running in and out of the water, enjoying the bright night the clear sky and the whitely glowing moon brought on us. Hours passed by without noticing, but everyone had such a great time, nobody felt the need to end this eating talking afterparty.

We passed midnight when Sanyi came to me, and asked to follow him somewhere we can talk in private. We left the campfire and went on a casual stroll on the reed bordered lake-bank. I asked him several times what he wanted, but he kept saying he'd tell it when we got there.

We stopped about sixty-seventy meters away from the others under the shadow of a slantly grown tree.

For the last hours I haven't seen the signs of the cold shoulder Sanyi gave me the last few months, so I had the feeling he just wanted to apologize for his behaviour far from the earshot of others.

But I was wrong, because when he turned to me, he was smiling. I mean, as much as I could tell standing here in the shadow.

"Do you remember how was it to come here back in the days?" He asked gesturing in the opposite direction of our friends and family.

"Well, more or less at least." I looked at him puzzled.

"You know, when we didn't come here to the great Sodri, but turned left from the road that leads here."

"You mean the little Sodri."

"Yeah. Where we were making fun of those old nudists."

"Oh, right" I said as my mouth instinctively curled up to a smile. Oh, those old men and women who showcased their wrinkled old body a mere few meters away from decently dressed families. That part of the lake-system was also called "Nudi" because of them, not like it has ever been officially appointed as a nudist beach. But - as I mentioned already - it wasn't officially appointed as a public beach either.

"There was that exercising guy." Sanyi explained.

"Brrr" I shivered as the image of the guy jumping up and down with his private parts floating around came to my mind. "Fuck you, I wanted to eat a leftover fried sausa..." I shivered again from the realization. "Okay, it's past tense for good now. Thanks."

He let out an ear sore laugh.

"It was a traumatizing experience, right?"

"I think even Ádi will need therapy for the trauma he inherited from you because of it."

"Still, we had our good moments out here, don't you think?"

"Maybe you had, with such a cool, kick-ass younger sis. But all I had was a mom's favorite brother."

"Cool, kick-ass sister?" He raised his eyebrow. "Actually, I'm glad you brought this up, because this brings another story in my mind."

"Oh?"

"Do you remember when once we came here with our folks? It was when Marcsi and I started to date."

"Ehm" I coughed. "It wasn't as much without our folks as it was against their explicit prohibition."

"Potayto, potahto. The point is, this so called 'cool, kick-ass sis' blackmailed me to rat us out if we didn't bring her with us."

"I mean, what kind of older brother leaves his ten-year-old sister alone at home?"

"Right, like that ten-year-old sister wasn't the most feared troublemaker of the neighborhood already."

"Exactly because of that."

"Ah. I see. So when you pushed us in the water from the boat, rowed to the beach, and tried to go home with my bike, that was because of this, right?"

"No, that was because you didn't give me money for ice cream."

Sanyi smugly raised his shoulder, and at the same time some suspiciously evil smile appeared on his face, which started to make the situation feel like I was walking into a trap somehow.

"And do you remember the time when Adri told this story to mom as something her new partner did to his brother?"

"Um..."

I froze down so much, it left me mute for a moment. It's not something that happens often.

For the obvious reasons we never told this story to anyone. Only Sanyi knew it, Marcsi, me, and since I told her, Adri.

"Yes, 'Um...'" Sanyi said with an even wider grin. "Since when?"

"Since when what?"

"Siiiiiis!"

"What?" I did my best to get back to my role. "Sorry that I told her, but when you told me the party would be here, it came to me."

"That's not what I was asking, and you know that well."

I looked at him offended.

"Are you accusing me with something?"

"Accusation implies there is something wrong with it."

"Then?"

"Don't make me say it! It's so clear that you are Adri's new 'boyfriend'."

"Why? Because she told a story like it happened to him? Maybe she just wanted to amuse mom with a funny story, and you know... her new boyfriend is so dull, she doesn't have any about him."

"Yeah, totally believable. And of course it's totally just a coincidence that she has this mysterious new partner, while you as a supposed single have a hickey on your inner thigh."

"Nah, I have not. Even if we had anything between us, do you really think you could fool me with such a cheap trick?"

Fuck I hope I don't have a hickey on my inner thigh!

"There is one there."

"Eeee!" I buzzed as they do on wrong answers in quiz shows. "There isn't"

Sanyi took his phone out, and turned the flashlight on.

"Show me your leg."

"No, leave me alone!" I yelled at him as he grabbed my knee.

"I just wanna show it to you."

As I was trying to get out of his grip all I managed to do was falling on my ass while hopping backwards on one foot. He didn't need a better opportunity to direct the light at the mentioned area.

"See?" He grinned.

I looked down, and I had to realize, there WAS a hickey under the line of my hotpants. Um... I haven't mentioned it so far, but do you remember that oral sex inhibition thing? Well, it was long gone by now.

I got up, and dusted my clothes off.

"Staring at the crotch of your sister... such a disgusting perverted pig you are."

"I wasn't the first one to notice, it was Marcsi. But I think everyone who sat in front of you during the dinner seen it. Sorry to say it, but it's quite apparent even without looking."

I sighed.

"Okay, I admit, I got together someone."

"Whose name is Aaaaaa..."

"Kati" I exclaimed quickly.

"It would've been much more believable if you said you got together with Timi again."

Damn, it's true!

"But it isn't Timi."

"Because it's Kitty."

"Kati. Do you really believe I'm so smart I can come up with a lie so quickly?"

"There is nothing more suspicious than you claiming you are not. But wait!" He turned away toward the campfire and yelled. "Adri, please come here for a second!"

Then he turned back to me.

"What are you trying to achieve here?" I looked at him with utter indifference on my face, but I lost this battle around the "Um..."

"Just to learn the truth."

"Oh, it will be so awkward when you'll realize it's a wild goose chase."

"Well, we can't know that until Adri gets here, can we?" As emphasizing his point, he leaned close and started to stare into my face.

"I'm not sixteen anymore. These tricks of yours wouldn't work even if I had something to hide."

But he didn't answer, just started into my face, which quickly turned into a staring contest until Adri got there.

"What would you guys want?" She asked on her sparkling happy voice.

Sanyi turned away from me to face her.

"Nothing much, just Fanny told me you two got together, and I wanted to congratulate."

"Fanny, whyyy..." Adri exclaimed, but she then saw me wildly shaking my head behind Sanyi's back. "...yyyy do you lie to him such things?"

Sanyi turned around but by the time all he could see was me standing there idly.

"I didn't say him anything, just big bro thinks he saw something" I explained while I walked next to Adri. "and he tries to prove it with such aimless shots."

"Girls, come on!" Sanyi exclaimed. "I know. You know I know. And I'm happy for you. I won't tell anybody, I swear."

Adri looked at me, then at Sanyi, then at me, performing the "I really have to pee" dance. I could almost see the cogs spinning wildly in her brain, working on what to do next, but at this point it didn't matter if we told it, or not, her reaction made it very clear. And not just that but her stance on the "should we tell or not" question too. If she didn't want to tell it, she would've denied it, just as I did earlier. Just as the plan said. Deny until getting caught. Yet, she hesitated, pushing me into a catch 22 situation with it. I told you I didn't want to out her, and it haven't changed since. I couldn't start to deny either, as one denial when you are asked, is denial, but a denial when you aren't the one who's asked, is a confirmation. The best would've been to take Adri a little further, and discuss what to do... but I think I don't have to explain the flaws of this solution.

The whole thing couldn't take longer than four or five seconds, but that's a lot of time in a situation like this. At the end of it, Adri looked back at the campfire. The white moonlight and the boldly dancing flames seemed blinding bright compared to the shadow of the tree we stood in, making us virtually invisible for the others. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, then fell on my neck and kissed me. Only for a second. It wasn't out of desire or eagerness, those would never stand a chance against inhibitions in a situation like this. No, it was something thousands times better. Public love confession.

As our lips separated, she stepped back next to me and grabbed my hand while all her body was trembling. It was something incredible from her. Even the confession by itself, but especially the way she did it. It was one of the moments, when your brain gives the control over your body to your emotions. So, basically something that put me in trouble more times than I care to admit but Adri has always been to collected and shy for such things. Until this moment. But of course, it's not like it was the first time lately when she just closed her eyes and did that trust fall.

Sanyi was smiling at us. Not with that wicked one he gave me a minute ago, genuine happiness.

Happiness would've been hard to be wiped off my face too. Yeah, the secret affair feeling was exciting, but sharing how we felt with someone close to us was much better.

He stepped to us, and hugged us together.

"I'm happy for you. It was about time."

"Why? Did you ship us?" I asked with a grin, which made him slap the back of my head.

"I'm trying to be nice, pumpkin. Don't ruin it!"

"Thank you" Adri whispered.

"You are welcome" said Sanyi as he stepped back. "But be careful with this psycho" he gestured toward me.

"Another one like this, and the next time I push you into the water from a boat, I'll even hit you with the paddle."

"See? That's what I was talking about." he said with a grin as he started to go back to the campfire.

Before he passed me, he stopped, leaned closer, and whispered to me.

"If you screw this up too, I'm gonna snap you in half."

I turned to him, and whispered back.

"Now scram!"

He looked at me, still smiling then left.

We were left alone with Adri. My heart was racing fast, but I felt her pulse was sky high too. We weren't a secret anymore!

I turned to her, pulled her close to me, and pressed my forehead against hers.

"How are you?" I whispered.

"I'm trembling" she let out a joyful sight. "I can't believe I actually did it."

"Neither can I" I smiled. "What got into you?"

"I don't know. I don't know. Just let my emotions took over."

"And how does it feel?"

"Great. Terrifying. Uplifting. You really made me crazy for you."

"And is that so bad?"

She sighed, then leaned backward, and shook her head. Oh, those sweet loving eyes! Those sweet, wondering lovely eyes that could make me bring the stars down for her if she asked.

I smiled. It was impossible to get fed up with the feeling that filled me whenever I looked at Adri. Her smile on the other hand slowly vanished, and even her eyes wandered off somewhere.

"What's the matter?" I asked worryingly. But she didn't answer. Her eyes were like they were searching for something as they were shifting slowly from one side to the other. It couldn't have been any more apparent she was thinking about something, but this was one of those rare cases when I didn't have the faintest idea what that could be.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked again.

Another seconds passed without her reacting anything to me, but then she looked right into my eyes. Whatever she was thinking so far, she made a decision. Her face reflected a special mixture of emotions I've never seen before. Worry, seriousness, and... happiness?

She took a huge breath to collect strength to present an idea that probably didn't even exist a minute or so ago, but now rested on her soul like a boulder.

"Fanny, I... I want to tell them."

My eyes went wide.

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want to keep this as a secret from them any longer. It would feel so great to make them know it."

"Kitten, you are barely over the first coming out of yours. Don't get me wrong, I'd be the happiest woman if the world knew about us, but are you sure you are ready?

"Yes."

"Kitten, there is no backing out of it. Once we tell it, we told it. They all are going to know."

"Are you telling it because of Bence?" she looked at me sad.

"No, Kitten. I mean... obviously he wouldn't be among the first people I would tell it, but he'd learn eventually, so I don't mind. I worry for you. If you are sure you wanna do this, then let's do it. But it can't be out of a temporary state of mind, you must make sure you considered each and every possibilities, and you are content you can go through the whole thing even...

She kissed me. Passionately, but only briefly. As I learned it ever since it's how she stops me from overcomplicating things. So it happens a lot.

She gently hugged the back of my head, and pressed our forehead together.

"Fanny, you are sweet for trying to protect me, but this is what I want. This is what I wanted since our first day together, I just didn't have the courage for it until now."

"You sure you aren't worried how they'll look at you after this?"

"Fanny, in this very morning you said they accepted you. And don't you always say how much more loveable I am than you?" she said with her tongue sticking out.

"And you still calling me the bad girl?"

"Yes. That's always you." she said as she slapped my ass.

"You pick up too many habits of mine."

"Like you minded that." she said with a wink.

I sighed.

"Okay. Then do it." Her face brightened, but before she could say anything, I continued. "But this is your coming out. You'll do the talking."

"Fanny, I'm maybe green but not a child." she said as she grabbed my hand, and dragged me toward the campfire.

As much confidence as she tried to show, I still felt how afraid she was. This banter calmed her down for a moment, but now she breathed haphazardly once again, and her body was trembling so much, I could feel it thru her hand. I did my best to see inside her head somehow, but I knew very little about what's going on there. Of course I knew how a coming out was, but the why, that made her do it right now, and gave her the courage to shut her eye, and do a trust fall once again - and as huge as this - that stayed a mystery even for me.

She was afraid, but also determined. What else would be a more sure sign of someone's courage and strength? I wondered what was she afraid more: the way people would look at her from that point on? Or the way she would feel herself different after she admits our relationship to those people? Or maybe the changes this could bring in other areas of her life? I would've known the answers for these, if we talked about them before, but I did my best to avoid every topic that could make her feel I was hurrying her to come forth. And now my carefulness meant I left her alone with this. Of course I was there physically, and I was there as an emotional support, the only thing I didn't give her was my insight about coming out. I didn't think she was already there. Fuck Fanny, you're such an idiot!

By the time hand in hand we were merely few meters away from the campfire, both of us were freaked out, but for different reasons. Before anyone noticed us, I looked at her, and squeezed her hand. She took a breath, closed her eyes, and nodded.

Is it possible to be more worried about your girlfriend's coming out than you were at yours? I talk about that specific one with my parents. Then I was prepared for an awful reception, now I believed it wouldn't be negative, yet I was worried. I was worried more about a less likely small disappointment for Adri now, than I had been about the sure as hell flaming hatred I had known would receive then. Was I really the strong one of the us two? Because at the moment I felt many things, but strength wasn't one of them.

We joined the circle around the fire. Sanyi and Marcsi was sitting on a log in front of us with Ádi sleeping with his head in Marcsi's lap. Left to us my mother and father sat in their fishing chair. Right to us there was Bence standing, then closer to us Sanyi's colleague, his wife, while behind them two child legs were sticking out from a tent.

Bence was telling a story, but he stopped as soon as he saw we arrived.

"Finally, here are the witnesses to it, as you clearly don't believe when I'm the only one telling it."

I would've had so many witty remarks for this in any other situation, but my brain was in completely another mode right now.

"Excuse us, Bence, but could we have a little attention before you continue your story?" I asked.

He looked at us closer, and he probably now realized we were holding hands, because he immediately shifted to serious.

"Of course" he said with a little sorrow in his voice.

I looked at Adri. Our gazes met, then she took a huge breath and turned to our audience.

"Um... as you already know, in the last few months I'm seeing someone, and... No, I apologize... We are not just seeing each other. I know you see how much more vibrant I became... it's... simple dating doesn't do such thing. It's much more... We are really happy together. Happier, than... than I've ever thought it was possible in a relationship." She stopped. This isn't a situation where words come easy. Not even when you planned and practiced it well before it. But when the idea was born a mere five minutes ago, and you've been introverted your whole life? That's a whole new level of difficulty.

I was watching her face for the whole time, and despite all her fears and inhibitions, she didn't try to ask for help. She sure knew that all she would've needed to do was to look at me asking, and despite everything I said before, I would've came to her rescue. But she didn't ask for it.

"And... everybody kept asking how this new guy was, but I could never answer it. Not really... at least. I tried to be as honest as it was possible, but how could I explain something that... that I can't fully understand either? And something I don't even want to understand, just... enjoy every second of it.

She had the full attention of everyone around us. Us holding hands was visible only from the front so only Sanyi, Marcsi and Bence could be sure where Adri's monologue was heading.

"Anybody who knows me for a time knows that... I've never really been that-that... lucky type in love. But the person I found now" she looked at me for a brief second, too quick to anyone else realize it "makes me forget every bad things that happened to me. Every suffering, every bad relationships I had to endure... I would do all of them again without any hesitation if... if they were the price to find each other. I" small drops of tears appeared in her eyes. "I never believed it's possible to love someone so much. To be loved this much. That our other half, which makes us a whole actually exist. Now look at me! I'm on the verge of crying like a teenage girl." She smiled. "I'm thirty-three, and I'm babbling about love like a teenager who never experienced how painful it can be. How ridiculous is that?" Hear tears were dripping in a rapidly growing amount, so she stopped to wipe them out of her eye, but it was a lost cause. At the end she gave up, and just showed her fingers wet from tears to the audience. "You see? This too. I've never cried because of joy in my life. No one made me happy enough that made me cry.

And she wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes anymore. I cried too. Was there anyone around who didn't know where this was heading?

"I'm totally crazy. But a happy crazy. And I've never in my life been so convinced" she looked at me, but from now on, she didn't take her eyes off "that this feeling is mutual. I've never thought I deserve such thing, that someone can give me so much strength, that I can mean the world to someone. And... I've never thought that... that... that if it ever happens..." she swallowed hard so she could finish before crying takes over "this someone would be my best friend. I love you Fanny!" she embraced me, and from that moment, there was no going back for either of us. We poured tropical rain on the ground around us.

The family and Bence gathered around, and hugged us.

We were one huge group hug, with the joyfully crying couple in the middle. It was a dream experienced in reality. Such serious tensions and years long of frustrations were freed from us there, I didn't even know existed. Not just from Adri, me too. I've never in my life felt my parents' support, not only because of my sexuality but my personality too, yet they were here now and poured us with their love without judgment, or condemnation. I've always been a tough girl who didn't need such things, but... hell. Does anyone still believe it after all of these? That a tough girl doesn't need such things?

I couldn't even tell anymore why I was crying, or why Adri was crying we just wept there like two toddlers and hold onto the other so strong like the people around us were trying to drag us apart instead of showering us with their support. But not everything has to happen for a reason. We were freed by this moment in such a way that's impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it.

It took minutes for our weeping to calm down, and the group slowly get separated.

"Thank you" Adri said while she was trying to wipe her tears off. "You can't even imagine how much it means to us."

And we weren't the only ones whose eyes become glossy because of her confession. I wasn't surprised about Marcsi, but besides her, Sanyi, father, and even my mother had clearly cried not long ago. It was only Bence who had pain mixed in his happiness, but I was the last person on Earth who could blame him for this.

Surprisingly mom spoke first.

"Adri, darling, I'm... I'm happy for you." She looked at me. "If it had to be a woman" she turned back to Adri. "then I couldn't have asked a better partner for my daughter."

Hm. Homophobic and touching at the same time. Like a wedding at the Westboro Baptist Church. Am I too mean?

My father instead of saying anything just hugged us. After him Marcsi and Sanyi came.

Marcsi kissed Adri on the cheek while Sanyi stepped in front of me.

"Tears, you macho?" I mocked him like my eyes weren't red of crying.

"Shut up, I just feel sorry for poor Adri."

Before I could respond, a strong hand grabbed an ear of each of us, and dragged us down to face Marcsi.

"I can believe you two can ruin such a moment!" she murdered us with her stare. Poor woman was a little younger than Sanyi, yet when I lived with them, she was basically the mother of three children. Apparently not much changed ever since. By the time she let our ears go, everyone was laughing at us. The loudest of them was the love of my life.

For the last Bence came.

"Now I understand why you couldn't tell me anything about Adri's new boyfriend." He said looking at me.

"I'm sorry"

"No, you don't have to" he said with a sigh. "You are a beautiful couple." He hugged both of us at the same time and with a faint voice he whispered. "I can't imagine a more matching couple than you. Don't ever let anything stand between you two."

"We won't" we told him together.

He let us go, and tried to give us a reassuring smile before he walked a little further to talk with Sanyi.

After everyone else, probably just to decrease the awkwardness of the situation for themselves, Sanyi's colleague, and his wife also came to congratulate us, but it was crystal clear they had zero idea how should they handle the situation. We thanked for them anyway, then sat next to the fire.

We could finally be like an actual couple somewhere. In the remaining time of the night we didn't let each other go for a single moment, and could act like any other lovebirds out there. Of course it's not much to the most people. Hell, even I had relationship, where it wasn't a big deal. But for Adri and me it was the first time. Those are special even when you didn't have to hide for months how much you are all over for the other, but this way it means so much more. It's incredible that such tiny little things can mean so much when you have to live in hiding. Holding hands, resting your head on the other's shoulder, hugging her hip, or embracing her from behind while pushing your face to hers... such tiny little things that are completely natural for straight couples even in public. It wasn't that for us, but on this night, for a few hours we could feel like it was.

We didn't have the false hope that it would be like this anywhere else. We didn't have the false hope that we were over the hardest part, even more we didn't have the false hope the hardest part wasn't the next one before us. But at this moment, we were carelessly happy.

Just a perfectly average couple that enjoys the summer cricket concert at the lake in the company of their loved ones.