The following week I finally got to a point where I felt I was able to move forward. Either way, I had to, because the constant longing for Adri didn't lead to anywhere.

As I'd lived in Fehérvár only for little more than half a year I knew just a handful of people there, so I didn't exactly have many candidates to make a move on with. Outside our base, I had little knowledge about the city, so I couldn't even wonder checking out the local lesbian bar. I wasn't even sure if there was one.

So I was left with the only one girl I knew was a lesbian too. As much as I feel ashamed for it, I immediately reached out for the easiest possible target. Her name was Zsuzsi, and if I ever met a woman who's never been able to get over self-loathing, that was her. She hardly had enough confidence to breathe, she avoided everyone in the building, and spent her whole day locked inside her office. I still don't know what exactly her task was, but she certainly wasn't amongst the close to two hundred people with whom I had regular work-related business.

And despite every introvertedness of hers, pretty much all the base knew she was a lesbian. She never dared to make a move on anybody, but her supposedly covert looks didn't leave much room for assumptions.

And to top it all, she clearly was an emotional train wreck, I was just too selfish to care about it. I needed someone close, and available, and these two requirements crossed everybody else out on my list.

I visited her first in her office on Wednesday. I took some not even closely important document to her, which wasn't even her concern. We never talked a word before, and it really would've been awkward to hit on her based on some never proven rumor. On purpose, I wore my tightest shirt, which made it look like I had at least some size of boobs, and my tightest pants that couldn't be any tighter even if they were made out of latex. I had to show her my best possible form to decide if we really were on the same team.

When I entered her office, she glanced up from behind her glasses, but that look spoke a thousand words. She checked me out quickly, but thoroughly, and I had no doubt she liked what she saw. I wished I could feel the same. It's not like she was ugly, or something. Her naturally kind face was framed with curly, dirty-blonde bangs, and her rectangle glasses consummated the cute bookworm look I would usually be all over for. Unfortunately for her, I already had a cute small bookworm I was all over for, and she wasn't in the same league with her. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered, I just wanted to fill the void I felt because of Adri was never gonna be mine.

I played all the cheapest possible tricks for Zsuzsi, and she gave exactly the reactions I was looking for. When I leaned over the table to give her the document, when I put my hair behind my ear, and I even - not a joke, I literally did it - when I on my way out "accidentally" dropped my dossier and bent over to pick it up.

Next day I returned, but this time, without any cover story.

"Hey" I poked my head in her office, after a short knock.

"He... hey" she stuttered, while she dropped the book she was just reading, like it was something illegal.

I stepped in, and smiled at her.

"I just realized yesterday, even though I've been working here for almost a year, I haven't talked to you before."

She blinked puzzled. She had clearly no idea what I wanted from her.

"We... ell, yes. I... I don't usually leave my office."

"That's what I thought. But still, it would be great to know you a little better."

"Why?"

"Because I know everybody else around here, except for you."

Her awkwardness turned to suspicion in a second.

"You must've heard the rumors. Let those be enough."

"Nah" I waved. "I never gave any credit to rumors."

"I'm glad, you're a smart girl then" she nodded, but her tone wasn't in sync with her words. "And now, if you'd excuse..."

"Do you have something urgent to do?"

"Yes, and you are bothering me."

"As I saw, you were reading when I stepped in" I winked with a warm smile on my face.

"Does this want to be some juvenile joke?" her eyes spit furious flames at me.

"What?"

"Are you trying to figure out if I'm really a lesbian?"

"Of course not!"

I knew that all too well already.

"Or did you make some bet? Let's prove Zsuzsika is a lesbian, right?"

Don't look at me like that, I know I should've seen how much of a trainwreck she was.

"No, what makes you think that?"

"The hot girls like you always do that. They make fun out of me."

"Well, I don..." I started to resist, but my phone cut it. I looked at the caller's name, and it was Adri. I apologized to Zsuzsi for the intervenience and left the room.

"Hey, Kitten" I picked the phone up with cheerful voice, but it disappeared in a second. Adri was crying so hard, she could hardly speak.

"Fa... Fann... Fanny."

"What's wrong?" I asked worryingly.

"We... we... bro...ke up with... with Laci."

"Broke up? Why?"

"Bec... because he... he che...cheated on me."

"Why? I mean what makes you think that?"

"He... he admitted it."

"Just like that?"

"N... no. A friend... of... of my parents saw... saw him... with another girl."

"And when you asked him about it, he just confessed?"

"Ye...yes."

I didn't even need to think. The words ran out of my mouth without any hesitation.

"Where are you now?"

"At... at home."

"Your place home, or his?"

"Mi... mine."

"Stay where you are, kitten. Don't do anything stupid, I'm on my way to you."

"But... but... this is... work... workday."

"Don't think about it. I'll be there in two hours."

"You don... you don't have to... Fanny. I'll... I'll be okay."

"The hell you would! Two hours, and I'll be there."

"Do... don't... get into trouble... for me."

"I won't. A friend needs to be there in a time like this."

"Fanny...?"

"Yes?"

"Thank... thank you."

"You don't have to. Close your eyes, and by the time you open them, I'll be there."

As soon as we hung up, I ran to my boss and asked for two days off for personal reasons. He was a great guy, so he let me go, so barely fifteen minutes later I was racing on the motorway to Pest with 250ccs between my legs.

I beat my own record by almost 30 minutes, so a mere hour later I arrived at my destination which was a five-story block of flats in a nicer part of Kispest district. Adri hasn't lived there for more than a year now, she kept the rent only because of her parents who would've freaked out if they learned she was living with his boyfriend before their marriage. I don't know if they were so naive they thought their daughter actually saved her virginity for her marriage, or only the formalities were so important to them, but unfortunately, in the end, it was even beneficial for Adri to have this place.

I hurried up to the second floor and rang the bell at the apartment in front of the stairs. Adri almost immediately opened the door. She wasn't crying at the moment, but the redness in her eyes made it perfectly clear she stopped it only a few minutes earlier.

"Oh, Fanny" she fell into my arms immediately. She embraced me so hard, I could barely breathe.

I returned the hug, and as soon as her grip loosened a bit, I gently pushed her inside.

"Come, let's get inside and tell me everything."

Her place had very few signs of socialist realist architecture styles left. From our left, there was an atrociously small kitchen that was almost too tight even for one person. From right was the living room, at the end of the hall a smaller room, and beyond the corner of the hall, in front, there was the bathroom, to the left the toilet and to the right Adri's bedroom. For a usual flat, it was rather nice. The owner threw all the ugly old furniture out, changed the bathtub, the sinks, the hideous tiles, the ugly plywood doors, and even the toilet seat. So basically changed everything about it that usually make these places look like they were the stage of an old TV show from the 80s. Not taking the narrow hall, and almost unusably small kitchen into account, it was a rather comfy home with nice arrangement.

We went to the kitchen, and after Adri put a teapot on the stove, we both sat down at the table.

"What happened?" I asked.

She took two deep breaths to gain a little strength, then started talking.

"My parents went home yesterday, and..." she let out a painful sigh "and this morning they met a friend of theirs."

"Yes?"

"And he... he told them that according to Laci's parents, he... he doesn't even want to marry me anymore."

"What? Why?"

"Because... he found someone else. Not... not from our village. Some urban girl."

"What a piece of shit!" I cried out.

"That friend... he told my mom, that he... he even saw them together. He saw Laci with that other girl a few days ago."

"I'm gonna murder that motherfucker!"

"No, Fanny... Let this go. It's... it's pointless."

"What do you mean pointless? That bastard broke your heart."

"No... just... just forget it. He didn't love me anymore."

"What do you mean by he didn't love you anymore? Then why did he lead you on? What a piece of human garbage!"

"He didn't say... why. Just... just that he wanted to break up this week anyway."

I was so shocked I literally had no words.

"When he left for my parents on Thursday... he took that girl to his parents. To introduce her to them."

I was shaking my head. I couldn't imagine how one can be such an inconsiderate dirtbag.

"He used transporting your parents to Pest as an opportunity to take his new girl to Szentlászló? When you two still were engaged? That's it. You must take your service weapon home, and shoot the bastard!"

But Adri wasn't furious. She didn't have a single angry word or raised her voice even the slightest, and that was the worst of all. That guy used her heart as a doormat, a guy with whom they moved to the capitol together, and she didn't feel anything else than depression.

"No, Fanny" she insisted. "He didn't love me. He... he was right. He is quite a catch, and... and me... just look at me" she was on the verge of crying once again.

"You are a gorgeous young woman, kitten. Don't let anybody make you feel otherwise! That scumbag is not a catch, he is a spineless worm, who didn't have the decency, to be honest with you until he was cornered."

"No, Fanny... stop."

"I won't. He should've thanked Heavens every single day to have such a wonderful fiancée like you! And after all this, he didn't have the backbone to face you and say: 'I'm really sorry, but I don't love you anymore.'

"He... he thought I was having an affair too... That... that it doesn't matter anyway."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Pfh! An affair! You! Like you were that kind of woman. With whom exactly?"

"Y... you."

"I beg your pardon?"

"He knows you're a lesbian, and... and he thought we were spending so much time together, because... you know."

In any other situation, I would've wished it was spot on assumption, but now, all I could think of someone had hurt my best friend, and that temporarily made me completely lose my selfishness.

"And the solution about that would be cheating on you, instead of asking!? Adri, don't even think about buying his bullshit excuse! All he wanted was to make you feel bad, so he could get out of the relationship having the higher ground!"

"No, Fanny. He... he was right. I didn't cheat on him, but... but I was never good enough for him. He was so... and I'm just..."

"Lose that thought immediately! It's not you, who wasn't good enough for him it's him who wasn't good enough for you! A filthy, little maggot!"

"I know... as a friend you have to say things like these, but... it's not true. I should... I should've known it was never gonna work."

I opened my mouth to answer, but the sudden loud whistle from the teapot stopped me. Adri mechanically got up and walked to the stove.

"I'm sorry, but I have only one flavor of tea. I moved almost all my stuff to Laci's already."

"Don't mention it. I didn't come for the tea. Why do you look so down on yourself?"

She poured the drink into a larger jug, then turned around and looked at me.

"Because that's what my life is about, Fanny. I... I've never been good enough for anybody. I thought... I thought Laci would be different, but... but in the end, he realized it too. I'm a grey little mouse. I'm fat, I'm short..."

"You are neither fat nor a grey little mouse" I got up, walked to Adri, and embraced her tightly in my arms. "You just fell in love with the wrong guy."

"No Fanny," she said before she leaned on my shoulder, and her tears started falling like a summer shower. "It's all on me. Everybody leaves me."

I took her face in my hand and raised it so I can look into her eyes. For a second, she held her breath. She must've thought I was gonna kiss her. But I wasn't. Despite this burning feeling inside me, that wanted to devour this wonderful girl in my arm, it wouldn't be appropriate. I wanted to kiss her so much. Whisper in her ears that nothing was her fault. That every little bit of hers was perfect, and the least she deserved was to mean everything to someone. For a brief second, I held my breath too. My whole body trembled for her, but I didn't make the move. That last thing Adri needed right now, was a friend who takes advantage of her situation. I'd rather not have her at all, than have her in a moment like that.

"Adri," I told her as our gazes met. "It's not your fault that a scumbag wronged you. Forget that nonsense immediately."

"But..." she tried to object.

"No buts. That male is a pig. You'll find someone who's not. But for that, you have to value yourself more, because if you don't do it, they most certainly won't. The bastards like him want nothing more than take advantage of girls like you."

"You mean the pathetic failures?"

"No. I mean the kind and adorable girls, who are unaware of their worth."

A shallow smile flashed on her face, but I think it was meant for my vehement torrent of words more than an actual sign of joy.

"And now," I shouted as I let Adri's face go "let's visit that bastard. I think his car would look great with a giant dick scratched in its paint."

"Don't be silly," she smiled painfully. "We can't scratch his car."

"Oh, WE won't. YOU will, as a punishment for what he did."

"You can't be serious about that."

"You don't know me well enough if you think I'm not."

But she didn't budge.

"No. Out of question."

"Then plan B. How much booze do you have at home?"

"Not a single drop," she looked at me puzzled. "You know I don't drink."

"Eeee! Wrong answer. You don't drink USUALLY. Today on the other hand, you'll be like Charlie fucking Sheen. We both will."

She frowned.

"I don't think that would help."

"Kitten, you have three options. One," I counted on my fingers "we go to Laci's, and you scratch a dick on his car. Two, we go to the supermarket, buy up all their alcohol stash, and drink until we wake up in the detox. Three, we take your prettiest clothes on, go to a bar, and you either leave with some hot guy or grow old there."

She wiped the tears off from her eyes and something appeared in the corner of her mouth that had a little resemblance to a genuine smile.

"Can't I have a fourth option?"

I shook my head.

"Nope. You'll be a scratch artist, a slut for a night, or drunk as a lord."

She let out a huge sigh.

"Let's go to buy that alcohol then."

After Adri cleaned herself up a little, and changed clothes, we visited the closest supermarket so we can gear up with the proper gear for a drunken night at home. I did my best to distract her but I wasn't doing great. She was there physically, but her mind was somewhere really far away. I felt her pain on some level, even though fortunately I never had to go through such thing. Neither being cheated on, nor being dumped. As shameful as it is, I've been on the other side, even about cheating part, but those never made me suffer. At least I don't think the remorse and self-reproach can be anywhere near the pain Adri felt at the moment.

When she didn't pay attention, I threw a few pre-made food, and a darts board in our cart. I figured if she was anything like me, completely closed in the apartment doing nothing was her way of healing, and pre-made food spared us of cooking.

After we finished the grocery shopping and got back to Adri's apartment, we started to fill up the fridge.

"I understand the pre-made food" she explained during it "but what use the darts board will have?"

"I think you know that well."

"Oh no, you can't be..." she shook her head.

"You can bet your ass I am. Tonight, we gonna play hit the douchebag."

"Fanny, that's awfully childish."

"Maybe. But also extremely therapeutic, if you refuse to take another kind of revenge on him."

She opened her mouth to answer, but I didn't let her.

"Don't play the innocent, I know you want it."

She tried to answer once again, but I had no intention of letting her object.

"Or are you really such a girl scout, you can't be even a little bad?"

That worked.

"You think I can't? Just watch." She stormed out of the kitchen, and a minute later she returned with a photo of Laci. She put it on the table then spread her arms. "Now what? Aren't you ready yet?"

As two strong, independent women who don't need a man's help, we asked Adri's neighbor to attach the board on the living room wall, as we had neither a drill nor screws and dowels. And even if we had those, we still lacked the knowledge about how these things needed to be done.

The Sun had long sat when we were finally ready to get sweet revenge on Adri's unfaithful ex. We attached the picture on the board with some staples, and everything was set. Adri took the darts in her hand, and wanted to throw the first one when I stopped her.

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"I haven't told you the rules yet."

"There are rules too?"

"There are always rules" I smiled villainously. "Both of us has three throws in each round. For every single miss, the thrower has to drink a shot."

"Hey, that's not fair! I've never played darts!"

"Then you know what's the goal with it" I winked.

She looked back at me a little annoyed, but she didn't mean it. I mean... I guess she didn't.

All of her first three throws missed widely so she had to take three shots which, thanks to the kindness of my heart, weren't full glasses.

I came next. I've never been that talented in this game, but I probably would have hit the photo if I had tried, but I hadn't. I didn't want to be the first who punches a hole in the mug face of that maggot, so my tries were only a slightly more successful than Adri's.

After we passed the third round, and even the photo had very few marks in it, much less - zero, to be precise - the douchebag's face on it, I started to doubt my plan.

Fortunately, in the next round, Adri broke the ice, and drew the first blood on that asshole. She started to jump around in the room happily.

"Yeah" she waved around like she didn't care "You were right. This is relieving."

Then, business as usual, the next two throws widely missed.

As the time went by, the number of holes slowly grew on Laci's face, however it started to be apparent that calling alcohol 'targeting water' is a rather wild exaggeration. Around the tenth round I didn't need to pretend I can't throw straight, it was a miracle if either of us managed to hit the board, let alone the picture or that bastard's face. We've been in our third bottle of whiskey, which is a LOT even from experienced drinkers, and I wasn't exactly one anymore, Adri even less than me.

We celebrated every single hit with a little rain dance around the room which always ended up us jumping in a hug carelessly like two teenagers. I can't exactly say it happened often around this time. After we reached the bottom of the third bottle, we collapsed on the couch and neither of us had enough drive to get up again. At the moment we weren't able to throw, to stand, to speak, but honestly, even sitting was quite a challenge while the room was spinning around us like a carousel. The last probably legit memory from that night is me thinking about we should get a bucket so our inevitable throwing up won't land on the floor, but I couldn't get to the carrying out period with it.

Next morning I was the one to wake up first. Okay, I might used the 'morning' and 'waking' words a little loosely, as it was 11 AM, and I was many things but awake. My head was throbbing, the room still didn't want to get completely still, and I had little to no memory after we sat down last night. I was spread out on the couch, my shoulder on its arm, my right leg on the floor, the left barely half on the seat, and Adri was laying on me. Her head rested on my shoulder, her hand under my shirt on my stomach, and her thighs around my left one. 'God, what a fool that Laci is!' I thought for a second. He was given to wake up beside this celestial creature every single morning, and he intentionally threw it away. I could've killed for it, or feel being jackhammered by the hangover in every single morning, while that douchebag just simply... eh, forget it!

I raised my head, and watched Adri for minutes. God, she looked so disgusting by every single logical reason. Her face stretched on my shoulder, one of her eyes was half open - not because she would've been awake - and from her wide open mouth a torrent of saliva streamed down on my shirt. For a second it seriously passed through my mind I must have some serious issues if I found her beautiful even in this state. Was I really that perverted? I mean sure, I did things in my life that were in the perversion category, and even worse, I enjoyed them but being drawn to passed out drooling girls has never been on my list. Was it possible I just really loved her that much? Is it possible to love somebody so much, to find them beautiful in their least attractive possible state?

As much as I enjoyed this position, I really had to pee, so I slipped out under Adri, and in the most stable manner in the given situation, dropped down on all fours and crawled to the toilet that way. After spending like fifteen minutes with this usually three minutes activity, I returned to the living room, and found Adri in the exact same position I left her. I slipped back under her, and restored our previous state as much as I could. After that I embraced her with my left arm, and almost immediately fell back to sleep.

The next time I woke up was when Adri started to stir at around 1 PM. More precisely by the shocked sudden move, with she yanked her arm back from between my thighs it slipped to sometime during our sleep. Then she slowly arose.

I opened my eyes tired and smiled at her.

"Good morning, drowsyhead."

She looked back at me puzzled.

"We didn't... right?"

I looked at us.

"As I see we both are fully dressed, so highly improbable. But after a point, everything is a full blur."

A relieved sigh left her lips, which flashed a picture in my mind about us two kissing passionately on the couch. Was that just a dream? It wouldn't have been the first time. I must've dreamt that it's sure it has never happened.

I looked up on the darts table which was behind me where I was laying.

"As I see, someone else can be relieved too. We probably won't kill him with our sharpshooter skills."

Adri looked there too. There was like ten to twelve holes on Laci's face. She jumped up - as much as that could be called a jump - walked to the board, collected the darts, and stuck them one by one into the douchebag's face.

"It's better" she said after she finished, then looked back at me. "Are you hungry?"

"Like a wolf" I smiled at her.

This day was slightly less bitter. After lunch I dragged Adri down to the video rental under the next apartment building, and rented a bunch of awfully romantic movies strictly with happy ends. We watched them all during the day, even if 'watch' is kind of an exaggeration in this case, as mostly we talked through them while they were playing in the background. We talked about why the girl was stupid to choose that guy, why the guy was stupid to not dump that annoying ass bitch, then we switched to the celebs we would sleep with if we had the chance, why it is stupid to believe in the eternal love, are the cats or the dogs the best - after I gave her the nickname 'Kitten' on the second day after we first met, I think her stance about that is clear - the video games or books, and I could go on. Pretty much anything that had the slightest connection to the movie that was playing in the background, the only thing we didn't do is paying attention to the screen for more than two minutes in the row. Using the 'cure hangover with drunkness' method, another bottle of whiskey was emptied that day, but it didn't affect us enough so that we weren't able to make it to bed instead of passing out on the couch.

By next morning we started to smell rather awfully, so we decided to take a shower. Adri could change into another set of clean clothes, but I left to her without mines, so, I still wore the clothes I went to work in two days earlier. I had to borrow clothes from Adri, and we weren't exactly the same size. Our weight was close to the same, but I was almost 20 centimeters taller, so most of her stuff was a little too short for me, only our panty size was the same.

After having our breakfast, we decided it was the time for a real lunch, not some premade crap we ate since Thursday, so the little time that was left of the morning, and a considerable proportion of the afternoon we spent in the kitchen. At first we just cooked lunch, but it got us in the mood to bake some cakes too. Accidentally a little more alcohol got into the cake than it was in the recipe, but that didn't stop us in having a great time. Also the fact that a larger amount of the remaining alcohol went down on our throats. Other than drinking - probably exactly because of that - we had a great time baking, which mostly meant throwing flour, scrambled eggs, and other highly not suitable things at each other. By the time we put the cake in the oven, the kitchen resembled more to a disaster zone, and we looked like some screwed up goo monster from some Ed Wood movie. Our face and clothes were covered with some kind of disgusting mixture of egg yolk and flour, our hair was stuck from the goo, and we smelled of alcohol, because what didn't get into the cake or into our stomach, found its use as a chemical weapon in our food war. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life as that day. We laughed through even the cleaning up process that stretched into the late afternoon. It was evening when we could finally sit down, and eat the fruit of our baking co-operation.

After a few more romantic movies, our day ended in the late night - or very early morning, it's just a matter of perspective. We weren't exactly sleepy, but we decided to go to bed as we were going to talk until we fall asleep.

When we finally got comfortable in the bed, Adri rose up on her elbow.

"Fanny, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Please, don't get this wrong, but can I lay my head on your breasts?"

I smiled at her kindly.

"Sure, come."

She drew herself closer, hugged my legs with hers, threw her arm over my waist and laid her head on my breasts. Our pyjamas didn't let our skin to touch, but it felt so calm, and wonderful to lay there like this. I knew it well that she wasn't looking for the same tingle I would've in her place, but warmth filled my body anyway. If that was all I could be to her, the anchor in the darkest hour, then be it. As selfish as I consider myself most of the times, in the moment nothing felt more important than helping her get back to her lovely natural happiness.

We laid there silently for minutes, when I realized Adri's head was rhythmically trembling, and a few seconds later I felt the wetness too on my shirt where I suspected her eyes.

I embraced her, and gently stroke her shoulder.

"Why?" she asked with a painful voice, which made me release her shoulder immediately, but she continued "Why do men always do that to me, Fanny? Am I really that worthless of a woman?

I caressed her shoulder reassuringly.

"No! You just haven't found the right one yet. Believe me, you would mean the jackpot for any normal human being" I really don't know why I said human being instead of man this time. Maybe my subconsciousness tried to signal her that way, I'm not sure. "You are beautiful, kind, smart, funny... Nobody can ask for more than that."

"But then why, Fanny? Why do they use then throw me away all the time?"

"Because you got together with douchebags, and let them to take advantage on your kindness. Because most guys are like that if you let them."

"Okay" she sniffled "but you're a lesbian. It's only logical you see the worst in them."

"Hey-hey-hey!" I said indignantly. "I'm not a man-hater! On the contrary. I rather like them, to a point where I got along them much better than with other women. But it doesn't change the fact that it's in their blood to test how far they can go. You are the kindest girl I've ever known, and most men think about your type you'd forgive them anything, whatever they do, so they can free to do as they want."

"You... you really think that?"

"No, kitten, I don't just think, I know. These alpha-male kinds of men like Laci don't match to you. You'd need someone, whom you have more in common with."

As surprising as it is, I didn't talk about myself this time. In fact, if I really want to be honest, if I were a man, I would probably be more like that douche Laci, than a kind artist soul Adri needed in her life.

"But how? I always got hit on by that type."

"Well, I can't help you with that. If you were looking for tips on how to get a girlfriend I was your girl, but I have no idea about how to get a decent man."

"Why?" she asked back. "Is it easier to get a girlfriend?"

"I haven't had one for a year, does that answer to your question?"

"So you are rather alone than to be with someone you don't belong?"

"Something like that" I lied. In fact, I was just about to hook up with someone I didn't like except for the looks, just to take my mind off her. But she was the last person I would've admitted that to.

"Why? What kind of girl you feel you belong to?"

"Someone who's beautiful, smart, kind, funny" I told before I could realize I used exactly the same words to describe her a minute ago.

She raised her head, looked at me, and took a deep breath like she was going to say something, but after a terrifyingly long second, she changed her mind and laid back on my breasts.

Fuck! I gave myself up! Goddamit Fanny, you are the biggest fool of the universe!

I felt Adri letting out a huge sigh.

"And see?" she broke the minute-long silence like I spoke only a second ago. "Even you can't find someone. What chance would I have then?"

"What do you mean by 'even I can't find someone'? Why would I be better than you?"

She swallowed hard.

"You are taller, slimmer, more beautiful, more confident... If those aren't enough for finding the right one, how could I hope it?"

"Hey-hey-hey, Kitten! Stop it with the self-degrading right away! Yeah, I'm taller than you, and yes, I'm slimmer, but none of those matter. If I really was more beautiful than you, yeah, maybe that would count, but I am not. The only thing you were right about is the confidence. As long as you don't accept your qualities, others won't either."

"You told me that a few days ago."

"And it hasn't become less true ever since. As long as you don't accept your own worth, others will treat you as a discount product."

"Discount product?"

I nodded.

"Someone who is possible to get, and kept well under their worth."

"And do you think of me like that too?" she sniffled.

"Kitten, I could never think of you like that. Not even if you were available to me, which I know well you are not."

For a fraction of a second, her head became lighter on my breasts, but nothing else happened.

Another long silence followed, and only the synchronized breathing of ours broke it from time to time. As ashamed as I felt because of it, I couldn't chase away the thought she was sending signs to me. That she wanted me to be more at the moment, than a shoulder to cry on. 'Eh, that's impossible!' Every single action of hers had a perfectly reasonable straight explanation, furthermore, if there was anybody, who would never get back on the horse after so short time, that was her. Not even with a guy, much less with another woman, while half a year earlier she wouldn't even have spoken to somebody she knew was a lesbian.

Her arm, and leg tightened around me for a second, and she pushed her head harder into my breasts.

"Thank you" she said overcoming her tears. "Thank you for being here for me, Fanny."

"You don't have to, Kitten" I stroke her face gently. "You don't have to."

The next morning - morning, just as usual, is used as a broad concept - found us in exactly the same position we fell asleep. Adri's body hugging mine, her head on my breasts, my arm on her shoulder. I opened my eyes first, so I had a little time to lovingly watch her sleep until she woke up. She raised her head, smiled at me, then stretched her arms in the company of a huge yawn.

"I slept wonderfully" she said.

"I happy to be at your service, madame" I curtsied with my hand.

She laughed. The sad night Adri was long gone. Sure, our prior two days were mostly fun too, but this night seemed to change something in her.

Despite all this, our Sunday was bittersweet. Not because something stepped between us, we just knew we were only hours away from saying goodbye. You know, like in the old Sundays when you were a kid and you knew you'd have to go to school the next day. You had hours of free time left, but knowing this was your last day home, you couldn't fully enjoy it. It was clear that neither of us wanted this weekend to ever end, but we also knew we can't stay closed in in that apartment until the end of time.

By the time the evening came, we were constantly sobbing, but neither of us could've given a reasonable explanation why. We weren't two lovebirds, neither two friends who had to say goodbye for good, and still, we felt exactly like that.

It was the first day since I arrived when Laci wasn't even mentioned, so I could say goodbye to Adri knowing she was on the right track.

We stood in the door of her apartment, and just like two teenagers in love, we were searching for the words, but we couldn't make a meaningful conversation. In the end we just hugged each other hard, and probably longer than a friendly goodbye would justify it. After we let each other go, a so painful and loving sigh ran out my mouth, that would've clarified my feelings even if they weren't perfectly apparent already.

We kissed each other on the cheeks, then I turned around and walked to the stairs, turning back at every three steps to wave goodbye to Adri. We resumed the procedure while I was walking to my bike. She was leaning on her elbow on the balcony and watched me walking through the parking lot. During it, it passed my mind several times that nobody says goodbye like that to a friend. That my feelings were mutual, but my mind would always overrule it. It was completely impossible that such thing would happen with her, she was just unhappy for staying alone when she still wasn't completely through her break up.

I waved one when I sat on my bike, and one more while I wheelied pass in front of her building. As I looked into my rearview mirror, she was still standing on the balcony and watching me go.

'She only needed to be close to someone, to be supported by someone. It's impossible she wanted more.'