Now showing private messages between RoastMasterV2 and Fitz

RoastMasterV2: oh, hi

RoastMasterV2: that sounded rude I'm sorry I'm just kinda...complicated right now

Fitz: no worries, mate, we all have those days

RoastMasterV2: oh wow a foreigner how exotic

Fitz: heh yea ig so

RoastMasterV2: sorry I'm so awkward I'm really struggling for words right now

Fitz: it's okay, no need to apologize

Fitz: I have a friend who's like that all the time believe me it could be much worse

Fitz: you seem really flustered, what's wrong, kid?

RoastMasterV2: don't call me kid

RoastMasterV2: and it's kind of complicated

Fitz: believe me I'm a simple man I wouldn't mind some complications

RoastMasterV2: it's too complicated

RoastMasterV2: and I don't really know you

Fitz: that's fair

Fitz: lets just start with names? No offense, but ur user is kinda long to type every time

RoastMasterV2: oh, yeah, a friend made it up for me sorry

RoastMasterV2: my name's Evan

Fitz: wow your friends have quite the imagination

Fitz: I'm cameron

Fitz: nice to meet you, Evan

RoastMasterV2: likewise, Cameron

—

Fitz: ayyyyyeee

RoastMasterV2: never type that again I beg of you

Fitz: alright I get that I apologize for my behavior

Fitz: so wyd

RoastMasterV2: um currently? Sitting down and contemplating all of my life choices while I crack open a bag of bbq chips

RoastMasterV2: hbu?

Fitz: hiding from all my noisy roommates

RoastMasterV2: oh wow

RoastMasterV2: why are you hiding from them?

Fitz: first of all, they're annoying. Second of all, we have a friend currently staying with us so they're extra annoying

RoastMasterV2: that's pretty valid ig

RoastMasterV2: i stayed over with someone who had annoying roommates before

RoastMasterV2: But they weren't /that/ annoying but don't tell them I told you

Fitz: alright I won't

Fitz: so

Fitz: why bbq chips?

RoastMasterV2: that's all I had in my cupboard and I'm too lazy to go to the store

Fitz: big mood uwu

RoastMasterV2: tf is an uwu?

Fitz: it's like an emoji I think idk my weeb friends use it all the time and I've kinda been corrupted

RoastMasterV2: dw I already got my weeb vaccination

Fitz: damn no fair I live in an anti-vax household smh

RoastMasterV2: damn you need to get out of there

Fitz: I would but one of my roommates is kinda cute so...

RoastMasterV2: ask them out no balls

Fitz: no thanks the rent may be ridiculous but it ain't worth moving over and I don't want to be rejected today

RoastMasterV2: wow what a pussy

Fitz: he probably doesn't feel the same way anyway so like what's the point

RoastMasterV2: you never know til you shoot your shot ya know

Fitz: what if I'm out of ammo

RoastMasterV2: bullets aren't the only thing you can throw then

Fitz: ugh you're annoying too

Fitz: But not as annoying as my roommates

Fitz: you're also surprisingly convincing

Fitz: odds on I won't ask him out?

RoastMasterV2: 1-15

Fitz: can't believe I'm doing this

Fitz: 3

RoastMasterV2: 2

Fitz: 1

RoastMasterV2: go

Fitz: 7

RoastMasterV2: 7

Fitz: WHAT THE FUCK

Fitz: fuck you

RoastMasterV2: you're welcome

—

Fitz: EHAT THE FUCK DO I WEAR FOR MY DATE

RoastMasterV2: BRO I TOLD YOU TO SHOOT YOUR SHOT

Fitz: ugh what should I wear tho

Fitz: my date is TOMORROW I don't have a lot of time to decide

RoastMasterV2: um idk what's in your closet why don't you ask one of your roommates?

Fitz: I don't want them to know I have a date wjsijdnejd

Fitz: ugh why is that relationship life so hard

RoastMasterV2: dw eventually you stop caring

Fitz: yOU HAVE A BF

RoastMasterV2: ummmm

RoastMasterV2: yea but again, it's kinda complicated rn

Fitz: ugh you're always complicated istg

Fitz: But I hope you know I'm coming to you for relationship advice now

RoastMasterV2: I've made a mistake in sharing this information with you haven't I

Fitz: yes

—

Fitz: the date went great!! We have a second one tomorrow!!

Fitz: oh shit it's probably late where you live (idk tho time zones were never my thing)

Fitz: night Evan

—

Fitz: you think he'd notice if I wore the same thing on the second date that I did the first date?

Fitz: probably, huh?

—

Fitz: Evan? It's been a few days since I heard from you, are you alright?

Fitz: Evan?

Fitz: hope you're alright, bud, talk soon?

—

RoastMasterV2: hey

RoastMasterV2: sorry I didn't reply

Fitz: hey! What's up?

Fitz: dw about it I'm sure you had your reasons

RoastMasterV2: I'm sorry, though, I just like disappeared

Fitz: that's alright. It's complicated, right?

RoastMasterV2: idk anymore

RoastMasterV2: congrats on your date, sorry I couldn't give outfit advice

Fitz: don't be sorry, shit happens, right?

RoastMasterV2: third date?

Fitz: stop changing the subject :( what's wrong?

RoastMasterV2: ...

RoastMasterV2: everything, but dw about it

Fitz: you're my friend, what's wrong?

RoastMasterV2: please talk about your date, I need a distraction

RoastMasterV2: otherwise my head won't shut up please just distract me

Fitz: oh

Fitz: okay so like I tell my roommates we're leaving (they still don't know about the first date) and ofc they don't give a shit until tHIS BITCH SCREAMS 'HEY WE'RE GONNA FUCK WHO WANTS TO COME' and long story short I've never felt more embarrassed or ran out of my house faster :)))))

RoastMasterV2: no he fucking didn't omg

Fitz: istg he did and quite honestly I was so embarrassed I've been staying with a friend ever since bc I can't face them

RoastMasterV2: omg I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life

RoastMasterV2: my fucking lungs are just gone

Fitz: so is my chances of having a lowkey relationship with my cute roommate :))))

Fitz: who I have another date with tonight :)))

Fitz: hope he liked what I wore on our second date bc this is all I have

RoastMasterV2: omg just go home dude

Fitz: would you?

RoastMasterV2: yes, but only to pack up my things before moving into an RV and never looking back

Fitz: that's not good road safety

RoastMasterV2: some things are more important than road safety

Fitz: ugh that's deep uwu

—

Fitz: good morning :)

Fitz: thanks to last night I have a boyfriend :))

—

Fitz: Evan are you doing this again?

Fitz: hope things get less complicated soon :(

—

RoastMasterV2: Cameron

RoastMasterV2: please just fucking talk to me I don't care what about just p l e a s e I need you to talk

Fitz: I finally stopped being a bitch and asked him to be my boyfriend and he accepted so I'm no longer single and honestly I couldn't have a better boyfriend he's fucking everything

Fitz: i finally went back home and turns out my roommates found something else to care about instead of what my idiotic bf said meaning that we can still have a lowkey relationship so that's pretty gangsta B)

Fitz: turns out my roommates decided to start giving people advice :)) needless to say they're about to ruin a lot of fucking lives

RoastMasterV2: I'll be sure to not get advice online then

RoastMasterV2: congrats on the boyfriend cam I'm so proud of you :)) also I told you to go home hope you can keep your relationship lowkey with that loud mouth lol

Fitz: ikr I swear everyone is gonna know by tomorrow honestly

RoastMasterV2: I'm gonna go be complicated again

Fitz: alright, good luck mate

RoastMasterV2: you too

———

Now showing private messages between FuckBoi and Fitz

FuckBoi: so??

Fitz: fuck off???

FuckBoi: no did you msg him

Fitz: oh yeah I did do that

FuckBoi: and what did he say???

Fitz: oh

Fitz: well here's the thing

FuckBoi: what did he say?????

Fitz: he didn't answer

FuckBoi: you better not be lying or I'm telling everyone you and swagger are dating

Fitz: wHO TOLD YOU

FuckBoi: swagger may be small but he has a BIG MOUTH

Fitz: god damnit I picked the wrong roommate