(57 : TO BLAZE YOUR MARRIAGE. . .
RECONCILE YOUR FRIENDS)

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1980 BROUGHT PROMISES OF NEW love and new life for some. It was only a couple of weeks after Juliet and James had broken up when Lily announced she was pregnant. Whilst Lily proposed she could co-parent with James, he proposed in a very different fashion that caused Juliet to leave Potter Manor for Sirius' apartment.

     Perhaps what hurt the most was how Juliet was forced to watch from the sidelines as the two teenagers tried to outrun their own deaths, baselessly rushing into lifelong commitments. Even Sirius — as in brash, reckless, seize-the-moment Sirius Black — seemed equally apprehensive about the speed of the couple's relationship. Both Lily and James sought each other out because they wanted the same things, not due to love. But, if they were going to die in the war, at least they would die with their dreams of a white picket fence lifestyle fulfilled.

Lost in thought, Juliet was vacantly staring into her mug of tea when the leather couch suddenly dipped as someone took a seat beside her. Her head abruptly snapped up and she was met with a pair of cautious grey eyes. Under the scrutiny of his stare, she turned her head away.

     "You're not dressed," stated her friend.

     Juliet pursed her lips. "I'm not coming."

     "You can hide under the cloak the entire time. Prongs doesn't even know that I stole it from his room!" Sirius offered, perhaps in a manner that was a little too enthusiastic for his intentions to be entirely innocent. "It's only at Potter Manor, we know you're safe there and . . . I think they would both appreciate it if you were there. You don't need to show your face at all, but you might regret not going a few years down the line when your, uh, wounds aren't as fresh."

     "I'm currently on the run because I'm wanted for murder and you think I should prioritise going to a wedding? Not only a wedding but the wedding of my ex boyfriend and someone I thought was a friend?" Juliet folded her arms over her chest, failing to hide the acid in her tone.

Downplaying the situation, Sirius waved her concerns off. "If we're being technical, everyone thinks you're dead, ergo you're longer wanted. They closed the case —"

     "No," she argued firmly. "I'm not going."

     Footsteps sounded behind her and Regulus appeared in view, coming from his bedroom. His shirt collar popped, his hair pushed back and a tie hanging from his neck. "You're coming. If I'm being forced to make an appearance, you are too."

     "They must be desperate if you received an invite," Juliet commented blithely. 

      "Yeah, well, they could use the numbers," Sirius mentioned bitterly. "Most people are too scared to leave their houses these days. And apparently Remus would prefer to play house with the werewolves rather than attend his best friend's wedding."

     Unaccustomed to Sirius talking about Remus — Moony — in such a distant manner, Juliet frowned and wordlessly went in search of something to change into. Invisibility cloak or not, she wanted to show them all that she could wear heartbreak as well as any little black dress.

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     Like Sirius had mentioned, the wedding was a quaint affair with only around fifteen people in attendance. Whilst Juliet was informed they were all Order of the Phoenix members and it was safe to reveal herself, she remained beneath the cloak the entire time and exchanged muttered conversation with an extremely bored Regulus. For obvious reasons, he felt out of place and lacked the luxury of hiding behind an enchanted cloak like Juliet did.

From where she sat, she swore James made eye contact with her as his hazel eyes scanned the small crowd. He stood in a muggle-style suit at the front of the hall, running his hands through his hair. Sirius — the best man, naturally — stepped forward and placed a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder before checking his watch.

"What's going on?" asked Juliet, her voice only loud enough for Regulus to hear.

Before her companion could answer her, the double doors at the back burst open and Marlene McKinnon rushed down the aisle. Her blonde hair was styled in a neat chignon and she looked particularly pretty in her burgundy bridesmaid dress, but her face was plagued with worry as she whispered something to Sirius. A vein in his neck throbbed violently in reaction to the news before he searched the crowd until he spotted the empty seat beside Regulus. Sirius enlarged his eyes and inclined his head, indicating to the room above them.

Analysing the situation carefully, Regulus was quiet for a long moment. "I think Evans is about to give you a run for your money. At least you made it to the altar before you ran."

"Oh," she replied neutrally.

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     Potter Manor was decorated beautifully — white lilies and vines of ivy adorned the bannister as Juliet headed up the staircase in search of the missing bride. Not that she had actually thought about what she was going to say to Lily. All she knew was that if she could save James from the embarrassment, she would.

     "Lily?" Juliet called, knocking lightly on the bathroom door. "It's Juliet. Everyone's kind of waiting on you downstairs. Is it okay if I come in?"

     When no response came, Juliet pulled off the cloak and gently pushed the door open. Nothing could have prepared her for the state Lily was in — her red hair that had been curled into soft ringlets stuck to her wet cheeks as she paced back and forth, moving around the room like there was a hurricane inside her. Despite being dressed for the occasion in a simple white number with bell sleeves, Juliet doubted Lily even realised the time as she incessantly tugged on a sole loose thread and counted her shallow breaths.

     Like a deer caught in the headlights, Lily twisted at the sound of the door opening. "What am I doing?" When Juliet vacantly blinked, Lily elaborated, "What am I doing marrying James? I — I don't love him. He probably wouldn't feel pressured to marry me if I wasn't carrying his child, too."

     Without meaning to, Juliet's gaze snagged on the woman's swollen stomach — barely a bump really. "Why would you say yes if you weren't sure?"

     "I can't support this baby alone," she confessed. "All I've ever wanted is a family and I don't want to throw that away if this is my one shot. You should've seen how disappointed my parents were when I told them that I wasn't even dating the father. I — I don't like disappointing them. They think I'm too young still and they've always said a woman should be married before she has children, but they also don't understand the gravity of this war." Her explanation grew more stilted as it went on. "I invited James round to meet them and he stepped in when he realised how torn up they were about us not being married."

     Not for the first time, Juliet wanted to sink into who she used to be — the cold, unfeeling pureblood that didn't care what a mudblood did with their life. Yet, one look at Lily's anxious expression made Juliet soften. "This isn't like you, Lily. You plan things, you don't . . . do whatever this is."

     "I know that," Lily insisted. "I know this isn't like me, but I'm a muggleborn. Both of us know that I won't survive this war and I feel like I don't have time to plan. I want to be able to say I've accomplished everything I wanted to in my life. I want to die knowing that I lived my life to the fullest instead of worrying about things I can't change."

     "You sound like James."

      "I — I guess that's why we made this arrangement." Lily paused, sniffling. "And with all the new laws against muggleborns, marriage makes things easier."

     Short of options, Juliet ripped off a piece of toilet paper and handed it to Lily. "But you're having second thoughts now?"

"If I'm honest, I thought if anyone would end up marrying James Potter, it would be you," Lily said, blowing her nose. "Then I caught you with Sirius' brother near graduation and James told me that you'd left —"

"I'm not with Regulus, not like that," interrupted Juliet. "I didn't really have much of a choice on the leaving front either."

"Really? I think you'd be cute together." Her eyebrows threaded together in intense thought. "But . . . it feels unfair of me to marry him. James is a good guy and I see that, I do. Maybe I'll learn to love him, but I'll never be able to completely be all in with him and I know it won't compare to what you two had. I watched you two fall in love and it was special. His eyes would light up whenever he said your name and I'd never once noticed you smiling until you were with him."

It felt like there was a lump the size of a golf ball in her throat as Juliet tried to swallow her own sadness. "If this is about me, then you should know that I want James to be happy more than anything. I would turn this world upside down to make it happen."

Conflicted, Lily glanced up at her. "And do you think he'll be happy with me?"

"I think he could be," she admitted, wincing at her own candour. "But what I've found is that it's usually the moments in between everything else — the late nights and the comfortable silence — that mean the most. You don't have to rush it, breathe and take your time."

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"And now, it's time for the happy couple's first dance!"

     In the end, the wedding never went ahead. It was a strange experience for everyone involved when Lily came down and disappeared with James for an hour. Rather than rushing into marriage because they had a baby out of wedlock, both of them decided to slow things down and the wedding ceremony ended with the two officially being pronounced boyfriend and girlfriend. As confused as people were by the development, everyone cheered for the new couple — if anything, they were grateful to have an excuse to party amidst the war.

     Having briefly discarded the cloak, Juliet stood in the shadows with Regulus at her side. Drink in hand, he observed the redhead with interest and finally said, "You don't have to do that with me."

     "Do what?" Juliet questioned, distracted as the music began to fill the room.

"Fake a smile," Regulus answered causally. "I'm sorry I made you come."

     "I can dim the lights and sing you songs full of sad things, we can do the tango just for two."

On the dance floor, James placed his hand on Lily's waist and she blushed, looking radiant as ever. Juliet tightened her grip on her own glass, her knuckles turning a brilliant white whilst her cheeks began to ache from smiling so much.

     "Ooh, love, ooh, loverboy, what're you doin' tonight, hey, boy? Set my alarm, turn on my charm, that's because I'm a good old-fashioned lover boy."

     Her gaze never wavered from the couple. Memories of how she had danced with James to the same song clawed at her mind. "I'm fine," she lied. "I encouraged this even."

     Almost sympathetic, Regulus chided, "Juliet . . ."

     "When I'm not with you, think of you always, I miss you."

     "I hate him," she declared, lifting her chin up slightly.

     Regulus sighed. "You love him."

     At once, she gulped down the rest of her drink and her shoulders slumped. No matter what she had told herself, she did still love James. But, maybe she needed to start loving herself too.

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A.N: Brb gonna hide from the angry mob now . . . On a serious note, I am realising these last few chapters are very divisive, I hope you're enjoying them all the same and I always like discussing the events in the comments. Just remember that we need a little angst to get to the good bits. And hey! At least they aren't married? But Jily dancing to Queen broke me. Whilst they did dance to that, Juliet's song of the chapter is 'this is me trying' by Taylor Swift. I think listening to that will give you a good idea of her headspace right now.

I'm also very tired as I post this so I apologise if there's any errors, I'll hopefully get round to a full edit soon.

Question, most underrated HP character in your opinion? I think it's Fleur for me. I really love her and think she's so cool and badass and JK's internalised misogyny jumped out with her.