(32 : TAKING THE MEASURE. . .
OF AN UNMADE GRAVE)

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JULIET WAS STARTING TO THINK that the weight of her secrets would one day crush her. As if she didn't have enough to worry about already — such as her forbidden rendezvous with a blood traitor, her tentative friendship with a proud mudblood and her dwindling faith in the pureblood supremacy — the girl now had to concern herself with protecting Remus Lupin's secret as well. Despite having every intention to take these secrets to the grave, it would've been naive of her to assume that secrets were always given willingly.

     And that was how she ended up sitting cross-legged on Regulus Black's bed with their knees brushing.

     "You need to empty your mind of all thoughts and all emotions," directed Regulus. "Some people think it's about building mental walls, but no wall is impenetrable. Even the strongest of minds would weaken under torture and all it would take for the most skilled of Legilimens is a single crack."

     Swallowing the nervous lump that kept bobbing in her throat, Juliet tried to listen, but everything Regulus said turned into white noise the second it left his lips. Her mind was running wild with the possibilities of what the Dark Lord would do if he found out she was disloyal to his cause. It had been a close call last time and she wasn't even dating James back then. The stakes were higher than before and that was why she was so desperate to learn occlumency.

     Although she couldn't be certain, the girl expected that the Dark Lord would make an appearance at the upcoming wedding. Aside from Lucius being part of his inner circle, Abraxas had been a confidant of Lord Voldemort's long before he rose to power. Knowing she needed to be prepared for another run in with the snake-like man, she confided in Regulus, who was an excellent Occlumens and a passable Legilimens.

     In the past, she thought occlumency would be something she excelled at, but she was doubting it as she struggled to do what Regulus instructed. The thing about Juliet was she had a tendency to do things in extremes. Her relationship with James was a prime example of that. Ever since being involved with him, she was finding it harder and harder to repress her opinions and feelings. He made her feel things she didn't quite understand and it thrilled her. And whilst her emotional development was good in some respects, it greatly hindered her talent at occulmency.

     Sometimes, she missed being an emotionless bitch.

     Regulus observed as she relaxed the tension from her muscles. "Are you ready?"

     "No."

     "Good. You rarely will be." He raised his wand. "Legilimens."

     It was like a golden thread of fate tied them together the moment their eyes locked. A picture book of memories began to flicker through her mind at an alarming pace — she was age six, blowing out her birthday candles, then she was seven, experiencing her first burst of accidental magic when one of the pureblood boys mocked her red hair and suddenly she was nine, unwrapping Slytherin paraphernalia before she had even been accepted into Hogwarts. The unfolding memories faltered, pausing on one and plunging her directly into it. 

     Juliet was ten years old. Sirius was with her underneath a large oak tree — she thought they were at Grimmauld Place, but she couldn't be sure. Her face was rather warm, a book hanging from her hand. The boy had stolen his mother's wand to show the redhead an impressive bit of magic. Even before he was sorted into Gryffindor, Sirius Black had a rebellious streak.

     "Thank you." As if sensing a pair of eyes on them both, she took a step back and straightened her posture. "But it was rather silly of you to risk getting into trouble. Your mother will be furious."

     Her words summoned the woman in question. Without acknowledging the young girl, Walburga Black stormed over to her son and dragged him away by the ear. Of course she wouldn't dare shout at him when she had company in her garden, so she brought him to the kitchen and slammed the door behind them. Unbeknownst to Walburga, Juliet had followed the pair and immediately pressed her ear against the door.

     The ten year old first heard a smack, then a wince.

     "SIRIUS ORION BLA—"

     Juliet was yanked out of the memory — not by choice either. She had been so curious about the significance of the memory that she forgot to force Regulus out of her mind. It had been him who pulled away from the memory and stopped the spell. If the memory of his brother upset him, she couldn't tell. Regulus had long mastered a stoic mask where his face revealed nothing unless he wanted it to.

     Briefly, Juliet wondered if he simply didn't know how hard his brother had it at Grimmauld Place. Whilst Sirius was better behaved as a child, he still had a mischievous nature that his parents loathed.

"Don't get distracted," he snapped, clearly annoyed. "You'll be more vulnerable the longer someone's in your mind. And whilst a memory might not mean much to you, it could mean something to someone else. You won't always know what they're looking for."

Juliet bristled. "I — I tried, but I can't clear my mind. Not without a pensieve at least."

"You've never had an issue detaching yourself before," Regulus pointed out, but changed his approach upon being on the receiving end of a scathing glower. "If you really can't clear your mind, then you need to compartmentalise it. Imagine a never ending corridor with never ending doors and push all your thoughts and your emotions behind the different doors." His vacant expression resumed, acting like he never snapped to begin with. "All your memories will be attached to a thought or a feeling. You'll need to separate those behind the doors before locking them away."

Closing her eyes, Juliet imagined an endless white corridor with hundreds of doors. There was a door for anger, lust, sadness and every other emotion she could think of. Some doors had her thoughts on certain people and certain topics sealed behind them. Once she was satisfied, she nodded at Regulus.

     "Legilimens."

     Another memory burst through. Juliet was older — around thirteen maybe — and she was rifling through her bag whilst McGonagall lectured the class on animagi. The redhead was getting more frustrated as time went on, tipping half of her bag out onto the desk.

     "Psst," hissed James Potter, "I can't even hear myself think over here. Just because you'd rather learn about the Dark Arts, it doesn't mean you need to disturb the rest of the class by being so loud."

     Considering James and his friends interrupted class every lesson, she was left feeling affronted. Juliet doubted he even cared about the animagus lecture. James always took any excuse to get under her skin and it had been that way since they first met each other on the train.

     Indignant, the teenager huffed. "You'd need a brain to be able hear yourself think in the first place, Potter." Then, with reluctance, she added, "Do you have a spare quill I can borrow?"

     James barely glanced at her as he plucked the first quill he found in his satchel and tossed it at her. After catching it with one hand, she merely raised an eyebrow when he continued to stare at her as if he was expecting some form of thanks. Muttering under his breath, the Gryffindor turned back around and Juliet went to dip the new quill in her pot of ink.
   
Bang!

Every pair of eyes in the class turned to see Juliet Fawley — the haughty pureblood — covered in black ink. Her hair, her face and even some of her uniform had been stained with ink. And she was seething.

"Psst, Fawley," whispered James, "I think you got a little something . . . uh, everywhere."

"One more word, Potter, and I'll hex off your damn tongue." Her retort didn't have the same impact when she was humiliated and dripping in ink.

Taking it as a challenge, he smirked. "Balderdash."

A bright light flew from the tip of Juliet's wand as McGonagall marched over to see what was happening.

     Breathless, Juliet was wrenched back into reality. At some point, she had slumped forward and almost collapsed on Regulus, leaving him to hold her up. Although she succeeded in kicking him out, she didn't feel accomplished. All she felt was drained, like occluding had sucked half of her magic out of her.

     "You took too long." Regulus helped her sit upright again. "It was better, but the only way to get quicker is practice. I'm going to try once more and don't hold back. As soon as the memory starts, fight against it."

     Still tired, Juliet mumbled her agreement and the dorm room collapsed around her, transforming into a familiar scene.

The memory was more recent. In fact, it had only occurred a few weeks ago. Juliet was on a couch in the Room of Requirement, straddling James. Both of them were topless, her black bra on full show.

"Merlin," gasped James, "I love you."

"I hope you and Merlin are very happy together then," remarked Juliet, her fingertips drawing shapes on his chest.

James wrapped his arms around her neck. "Juliet —"

"It's alright. If old bearded guys are your type, maybe we could hook you up with Dumbledore," she mused, leaning in. "Speaking of, I do believe I owe you five sickles."

He brushed his lips against hers, trailing kisses down her half naked body until he paused to talk. "New rule, there's no talk of Dumbledore when we're —"

     Almost falling off the bed in the process, Juliet managed to cut the memory off. Even though she acted quicker than the previous two times, the damage was already done. It was apparent from the repulsed sneer on her housemate's face.

     "You can't tell anyone," Juliet cried out, her words rushed and panicked.

     Regulus laughed coldly. "I can't tell anyone?" he echoed in disbelief. "We're getting married in six months and you're having an affair with a blood traitor. You have no right to tell me what I can and can't do."

     "It's not like I'm cheating on you, the whole marriage is a sham!" exclaimed Juliet, folding her arms. "And if you care about me at all, you won't breathe a word of what you saw. I can't tell you what to do, but I sure hope our friendship has been more than some power trip for you."

     "Of course I care!" Regulus yelled back. "It's because I care that I'm telling you to break it off because there's no scenario where it will end well for either of you. You're on different sides of this war, so cut your star-crossed bullshit and stop being so bloody obtuse. He will get you killed, Juliet."

     Juliet narrowed her eyes. "You don't know him."

     "Everyone knows him," ridiculed the Slytherin with an eye roll. "James Potter is arrogant, conceited and everything you should hate. But none of that is my point. If it was anyone else who saw that, there would be no questions or second chances because you would already be dead. You are the one person I find tolerable in this stupid castle. No matter how much you think I have screwed you over, I don't want you to wind up dead."

     "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

    "What were you going to do? Leave me at the altar?" His eyes darkened. "You need to break up with him, Juliet."

     "Promise me," she repeated firmly. "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

     Regulus turned his back to her, rubbing his temples. "It's your funeral."

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A.N: I'm back! Granted, it was one day off updating but revision was boring. As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. We'll be going into Christmas Break next chapter because there's a lot planned. If there's anything you want to see more or less of, I'm always open to suggestions, although I just can't guarantee anything. Also want to add how much I appreciate every vote and comment. They make my day.

Question, if you had a super power, what would it be? I honestly feel like I'd want to be able to heal or I feel like being a seer would be cool? Stressful, but cool.