(56 : A PAIR OF . . .
STAR-CROSS'D LOVERS)

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     THE FIRST THING JULIET DID when she woke up was return to Potter Manor. Without Euphemia or Fleamont, the once lively place was cold and empty. Her heart wrenched at the thought of James spending his nights alone there. At least now that the rest of the world believed her to be dead, she would be able to stay with him. Just like she was always meant to. Except, James wasn't home when a somber Dippy invited Juliet in.

It was on the seventh day of no James that she grew worried, wondering if writing a letter to Sirius would be worth the risk. Juliet was dipping her quill into the ink pot when she heard the creaking of the front door and the scuffing of the shoes against the welcome mat. For a second, she couldn't move and her body locked up. Sometimes, her relationship with James felt like a mirage — like one day she would snap out of a daydream and still be sitting across from her father at Fawley Manor. It was Dippy with her flour-stained cheeks that broke Juliet's paralysis as the elf disapparated with a crack to greet her master.

Before she even realised it, she was up and running towards the foyer. "Hi," Juliet greeted in a soft, breathless tone as she finally found herself face to face with her boyfriend. "I told you I'd survive, huh?"

"Prove it." James automatically pointed his wand at her, his voice sounding far steadier than the erratic thumping of his heart at the sight of someone seemingly wearing a dead girl's face in his own home. As Moody always rambled, constant vigilance. "Tell me something only Juliet would know because if this is some kind of sick joke —"

"Not a joke, Jamie," she replied carefully upon noticing how crazed he looked. "You bought me a compliment quill the first Christmas I stayed here —"

     James scoffed. "I said only Juliet."

     "Let me finish," Juliet said pointedly as she held back an eye roll. "You told everyone it was because I don't believe in myself enough, but you didn't tell them that it was also because you still feel guilty for making that quill explode in my face during our Third Year. You don't like to tell people, but you learnt to play guitar because Lily Evans said it was cool. You talk in your sleep. You want to move to Godric's Hollow one day. You want two or three kids and —"

     James cut off her tirade with a passionate kiss, rushing forward and spinning her around by the waist. His hands roamed as they kissed, bunching the fabric of her shirt out of fear she would disappear like the ghost she was meant to be if he released her for even a moment. Juliet was startled by the intensity of the kiss, but smiled into it as she returned the gesture with equal vigour, wrapping her hands around his neck and melting into him. However, as soon as she went to deepen the kiss, he untangled himself from her and it was then she knew something was wrong.

Somehow, the kiss had felt like the beginning of the end.

"I'm guessing we have a lot to talk about." For the first time, Juliet took in the state of the person opposite her — he was slumped over instead of standing proud with rumpled clothes and an almost green face that was hollower than she remembered. "Like, where have you been this past week?"

"You were dead."

In confusion, her eyebrows knitted together. "Living dead, but yes."

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish before settling on, "Lily was sad. And I was drunk . . . because you were dead. Lily wasn't sad about that though, I don't think she even knew. Both of us crossed paths that night. It's a little fuzzy from there. I — I mean, we were talking about black holes and countdown clocks, there was a lot of mixed metaphors and Regulus was saying it was my fault that you —" James made a slicing motion across his neck "— and so I did something stupid because he was right. He was right and I'm apparently rubbish when it comes to grief. Losing my parents was hard enough, I almost — almost . . . It doesn't matter what I almost did because it's not an excuse and I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. You have to believe me, I wouldn't have ever done it if I thought we were still together."

     "What did you do?" Her question came out strained, like an elastic band that had been stretched too tight. "I can't forgive you unless I know what you did."

"I slept with Lily."

Everything numbed as the phantom pain of their first break up ruptured through her bones. Juliet welcomed the pain like an old friend — she had scratched at her bruised skin like a feral beast in her effort to forget Lucius Malfoy's touch and she had endured the cold fire of the Cruciatus Curse before murdering her father with the fury of a valkyrie in battle, she would not be broken by James Potter. Not again. As messily stapled as her heart was, she refused to fall apart in front of him. Thus, she counted her breaths and shedded her skin, remembering the venomous serpent she'd always been.

     Through slitted eyes of steel, she observed his anxiousness with mock humour. "Well, when's the wedding, Romeo?"

Desperation clouded his sunken eyes as he tried not to recoil at cruel use of a nickname that had once endeared him. "It was a mistake, I know that. I will do anything to make it up to y—"

"I was dead for a day," the redhead reminded him, her words rough like sandpaper. "You come here still half-drunk, kiss me and expect me to hear you out after you went off with another girl?"

He braced himself for the worst, grimacing. "If you'd trusted me enough to let me in on your plan, I —"

"I've been telling you to trust me for months!" Juliet exploded, red sparks crackling at the tip of her wand. "It wasn't safe for me to tell you when at least half of Voldemort's followers are capable of legilimency. Everything I have done these past few months, I have done for us. I've fought against every single one of my instincts to fight for our future and now it's somehow my fault that you couldn't stay faithful for more than a few hours? I am done being blamed for the actions of men. You, Lucius, Arin, you're all the same!"

"And I haven't been fighting?" James remarked, indignant and self-righteous as ever. "Do you understand how hard it was for me to hear you were dead? To see your body? I know that life has been cruel to you, so cruel that you can't speak about it for more than a minute before changing the conversation, but you aren't the only one who's been hurting. My parents are dead, my friends are turning on each other, my girlfriend has been gone for over six months and Voldemort is only growing stronger whilst the Order is falling apart." He levelled her fierce stare. "Maybe I'm tired of being the one who needs to hold it together all of the time, the one who puts in the effort and keeps spirits high. Maybe I wanted to forget that people are going to die in this war and I can't mourn them all because the moment I do, there'll be a Killing Curse aimed at my back."

All she could see was red and it blinded her beyond reason. "Welcome to the reality of war, James! I warned you long ago about what it would be like and you didn't listen." Her anger soon corrupted into sadness as her hands started to tremble. "And I suppose I'm now being welcomed to the reality of our relationship. If we're being brutally honest, I was always a placeholder for Lily."

"I haven't thought about Lily like that in years. There's nothing more to it than she was there when I walked out of the pub." He stepped closer to her. "I love you, Julie. I thought I knew what love was when I fancied Lily, but then I met you and you changed everything. Every time I look at you, I fall a little more in love and I want to fall in love a hundred times more. Please, give me a chance to fix this."

"You taught me what love is and I'm grateful for that, but I need to find who I am without you again because . . ." Juliet leaned in, her whisper fading and mutating into something more sinister as she continued dryly, "You know what I just realised? I realised there is so much more to this world than the boy who I loved at seventeen. Love isn't meant to hurt, I know that now, so fuck you, Potter. And fuck her too. We're done."

     Brushing past him, she roughly bumped their shoulders as she stormed past him. James failed to take the hint that she wanted to be alone and tried to follow her, which resulted in him being on the receiving end of a nasty tripping jinx. Just like that, three years of progress had come undone and they were catapulted back to square one.

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      Knees pressed against her chest, Juliet sat on the front porch and absentmindedly twirled her wand. No matter how much she wanted to put space between her and James, she couldn't risk being seen in public now everyone — including Lord Voldemort — believed her to be dead.

     "Expecto patronum," she murmured under her breath, seeking some form of empty comfort from her spirit animal.

     Nothing happened. Her once cheerful memories were soured as she wondered if any of it was real, if James had been imagining Lily in her place the entire time.

    "Expecto patronum," Juliet repeated in a more authoritative tone, straightening her posture. "Expecto patronum. Expecto patronum. Expecto patronum!" As her voice became more frantic, she eventually tossed her wand to the floor and frustratedly pulled at her hair. "Shit."

     A single tear rolled down her cheek as she was faced with the awful realisation that she might never be happy again.

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A.N: This chapter was meant to be up a lot sooner, sorry it took a little longer than usual. Anyway, the response to the last chapter was insane, so thank you for that and the 100k reads! Not to play devil's advocate here, but I don't think James would knowingly cheat. I think he's really loyal and fucked up with his grief, but he didn't think it was cheating because she was dead. Is that right? No, but I do understand his perspective. Even Juliet doesn't because they broke up. Since we have only a few chapters left, expect some time skips as they're going to focus on the key points/developments in Jules' relationship amidst the break up. And I promise there's still some twists to come. You may think you'll know what happens, but I have some surprises still.

Question, do you have any Marauders headcanons? One of mine is James can play guitar, which I hinted at in this chapter.