It was pouring rain outside and everyone was locked away in their bedrooms. Thunder grumbled, breaking through the monotonous sound of rain beating down.

                I anxiously paced my room, hating storms. I'd been afraid of them as a child and my fear had gotten worse once I'd run away and been forced to stay outside during them.

                Unable to take the sound of the storm anymore, I left my bedroom and went to Jer's room. I pushed the door open without bothering to knock.

                "Fucking knock!" Jer snapped, tossing a comic book down to the floor.

                "Nah, I like busting in to catch you in a nerdy moment," I said.

                He glared, kicking the comic under his bed. Jer hated his love for comics because it clashed with his tough guy act. But he had the biggest collection of comics I'd ever seen, and he'd stashed them away in his room when he moved out of his parents' house.

                "What the fuck do you want, Ace? I'm not going to hold your hand and comfort you through the storm. You're 21. Get over your damn fear," he said in annoyance.

                "Play cards with me," I said. "I'm bored."

                "You wouldn't be bored if you didn't chase off everyone in your life," he grumbled.

                "I'm bored too." Ike stepped up next to me, causing me to jump in surprise. "Let's just play cards in the kitchen. We've got nothing better to do. Besides, if the power goes out in this storm, we won't have anything else to do anyways."

                Jer spit out more cuss words as he climbed off of his bed. Sometimes I was impressed by the string of profanities Jer could weave together. If there was a tournament for cussing, Jer would be the world champion.

                He and I went downstairs together as Ike went to get Christian. We settled ourselves at the kitchen table after grabbing a deck of cards.

                Ike and Christian came downstairs and sat with us. I dealt out the cards and we began to play, the storm continuing outside. Rain was assaulting the windows and the thunder was so loud now that the house was shaking with it.

                "Two threes," Christian said, tossing down cards.

                "Bullshit," Jer said.

                Christian reached over and flipped the cards. "Enjoy the addition to your hand, Jericho."

                "Fuck you," Jer said, gathering the cards and arranging them in his hands.

                "Don't get mad at me. I'm pretty sure Ace has been lying through his teeth this whole game," Christian said with a shrug.

                "When isn't Ace lying through his teeth?" Ike said, grabbing a card from his hand and tossing it onto the table. "One four."

                "I'm offended," I said, tipping back in my chair and tossing down three cards. "Three fives."

                "Might as well call it. You already have half the deck," Christian said.

                "Fuck you. I don't have any threes. You call it if you think he's lying," Jer said, flicking down his cards. "Two sixes."

                "And lying I was," I said, smirking. "Jericho, you do have a three."

                "What? Oh, fuck, shit, I didn't see that," Jer said, glaring.

                "Everyone has one three," I said, shrugging. "Man, you guys suck at this game."

                "Maybe we're being nice and letting you win," Ike said.

                "You bastards are never nice," I said, smirk growing. "You just don't want to admit that you suck at this."

                "For once, he's not wrong," Christian said.

                My phone buzzed in my pocket and I fished it out. I checked the ID and mentally groaned as I slid my finger on the screen to answer.

                "What?" I said.

                "Look, I wouldn't be calling you if I wasn't so desperate that my only other option was to call a tow truck that I can't afford," Jack said. "But you owe me and I'm secretly hoping you catch pneumonia and die. Come help me get me car out of a ditch. I hydroplaned and now it's stuck in the mud."

                "Not my problem," I said.

                "It is your problem. I was only driving in this shitty storm to drop shit off to Delaney since he's staying with friends until he's not pissed at me anymore. I only got ahold of two of my friends and I've called everyone I can think of who's around here. So come help me get my car out," he said.

                Some part of my mind tried to pass along images of Jack hydroplaning and not being able to call for help. Of him dead in the front seat of his car until someone drove by and saw the accident.

                "Go help him," Christian said, not looking at any of us. His eyes were fixed on his cards.

                "Mind your own conversation," I said.

                Christian shot me a sharp glare. "Ace. Go help him."

                I rubbed my temples. "Fine Jackass, tell me where you are and I'll help you. But only because Christian was eavesdropping and is apparently having flashbacks to his folks dead in their car."

                Christian kept the sharp glare on me, a nearly unnoticeable twitch of his fingers as I spoke. I knew very well that Christian had only ever seen pictures of the accident, and had never actually seen his parents' bodies when they died. They had been too mangled. His grandparents had identified the bodies and kept the lids on the coffins closed tight so that a young Christian would never know how badly his parents had been wrecked along with their car.

                Jack told me where he was before hanging up. I got up and threw my cards down, leaving the kitchen without a word to any of my friends. I went upstairs and pulled a jacket on, flipping the hood up. I left the house, ducking against the rain as I was instantly soaked. I began to jog towards where Jack had told me he was.

                Jack sounded fine on the phone, which was good. He could've been hurt or killed in an accident.

                My mind was screaming at me to be concerned, but I pushed it away. People died all the time. Jack was fine, so there was nothing to worry about.

                Still, relief flooded me as his car came into sight a little while later. It was buried steadily in a ditch, and I could see Jack sitting in the back to escape the rain.

                He looked up as I approached, and I realized that there was blood stained on his pants. He looked down at it and shrugged.

                "Cut up my knee," he said, standing up and limping a little. "That's why I needed so much help getting the car out. Trust me, I never intended to talk to you again. But you used Dex, so I'm going to use you. My other two friends should be here any minute. You three are going to push my car out of the ditch."

                Words trapped in my throat as I met Jack's eyes. Part of me wanted to apologize and hug Jack. Part of me wanted to walk away and tell him to deal with this himself.

                Living versus surviving.

                "You just want to see how strong I am," I said, falling back on smug playfulness.

                He limped back to the car and sat down, lightly rubbing above the blood on his pants. "No, actually, I just can't afford to have my car towed out of here. Besides, my mom would freak if she knew this had happened."

                I looked over as a car pulled up on the shoulder of the road. A guy and a girl got out, walking over to us.

                "Kayla, Will, this is Ace," Jack said lazily, gesturing to me. "I don't actually like him, but he lives nearby and no one else answered their damn phones."

                "Jack, you're bleeding!" Kayla said.

                "Am I? Wow, thanks, I hadn't noticed that my knee was in pain," Jack said. "Thank god I called you, Kayla."

                Kayla crossed her arms and glared. "Jack, I will leave your sorry ass to bleed out on this road."

                "That's fine. Just get my car out of the ditch before you go," he said, getting up and limping away from the car.

                "Is it broken?" Will asked, gesturing to Jack's leg.

                "Nah. Just cuts and bruises. It just hurts," Jack said. He stumbled a little and I reached out, steadying him.

                "There, I saved your dignity," I said.

                "I'm surprised you actually know how to do that, considering the way you destroy yours," he said.

                "I'm going to get your car out of this ditch and run you over with it," I said.

                "Take her to the car wash when you're done," he said, shrugging.

                Kayla, Will, and I went around to the front of the car, which had neatly dug itself into the ditch. The three of us steadied ourselves in the muddy ground as best we could and began pushing as hard as possible.

                We backed off once we had moved it a little. Panting, we all leaned against the hood of the car as Jack limped towards us.

                "Shit," Will said. "I had to push my car out of mud once and it was hard enough to do that. But my car is smaller and wasn't crashed into a damn ditch."

                "Gee William, I'm so sorry that my car hydroplaned into a ditch. I didn't mean to be such an inconvenience to you," Jack said.

                Will scowled. "I should've stayed home where it was warm and dry."

                "Should've, but you didn't. I'll try backing it up while you push." Jack got in the driver's seat and turned the car on.

                We all began pushing again and the wheels spun, kicking up mud and grass at as. My arms wobbled with effort as we pushed.

                Thunder suddenly crashed in the sky, lightning flaring to life. I backed off of the car, staring at the sky in terror, a million memories hitting me. Memories of cowering alone in my bedroom as a child, afraid to show my fear to my father. Memories of sobbing silently as I cowered under my bed with my hands clasped over my ears, hating those loud bursts of thunder, hating how it made me think of my family screaming and preparing to strike me. Memories of shaking with fear as I tucked myself away the best that I could when I was homeless and enduring storms. Trying desperately to stay out of the rain so I wouldn't get sick.

                "Ace!"

                I stumbled away from Jack as he slapped me. I rubbed my cheek and mentally shook myself. I had nothing to be afraid of. It was just a damn storm.

                "God, you are such a pain in the ass," Jack said, grabbing my arm and leading me to the car. He sat me in the driver's seat. "Just throw it in reverse and hit the gas when we push."

                So I did, watching the way Jack's face twisted with pain as he shoved the car, his bad leg giving out under him as the car finally shot back onto the road. Jack hit the ground and rolled onto his side, rubbing his leg as his friends knelt next to him.

                I put the car in park and watched as Kayla and Will helped Jack up. He leaned heavily on them, throwing all of his weight onto his good leg, his arms around their shoulders to keep himself upright.

                Not because he couldn't stand on his own. But because it hurt to stand on his own. His friends were offering him relief from the pain he'd been enduring to stand by himself.

                I got out of the car and went over to where they stood. Jack slowly pulled his arms away from his friends, testing his bad leg to make sure he wouldn't fall. He let out an annoyed sigh.

                "Man, this is going to suck," he said, limping back towards his car. He stopped and faced us all. "Thanks for the help. Kayla, Will, I owe you guys. Lunch on me anytime you want. Ace, get in. I'll drop you off."

                "Let us know if you need help," Kayla said. "And you better go to a doctor if your leg gets worse, Jack!"

                "Yea, yea, mom," Jack said, giving her a wave. "Thanks for helping. I appreciate it."

                "Are you sure you should be driving with a bad leg?" Will asked.

                "It's not my driving leg. I'll be fine. Besides, the worst that happens is I crash and kill me and Ace here." Jack shrugged and got in his car.

                I got in as well as his friends returned to the car they had come in. Jack started driving towards my house.

                "Sometimes I forget how traumatized you are. It's sick, really. You're so fucked up from everything that was done to you, and yet you still do those things to other people," Jack said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Ace, you've repressed all of this for so long."

                "I don't repress anything," I said, looking out of the window at the blur of rain. "So what? Dad was emotionally abusive, aunt was physically abusive, cousin was most likely a bipolar, abusive guy in the making. I survived it. I escaped it."

                Jack shook his head. "But you didn't escape it. You do it to other people. It's still inside of you. It's still controlling your life."

                "Thanks Dr. Phil, but I'm fine," I said.

                Lightning flashed and I winced, clenching my fists, letting my nails dig into my palms. Jack pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and I stared at him in confusion.

                He grabbed a CD out of the backseat and put it in. "Cars are safe. The tires," he said, patting the window of his car. He reached out and cranked the volume of his CD so that it blocked out any other noises.

                I leaned back in the seat and closed my eyes, fighting off the fear twisting around my heart. What if he was right? What if, even after all this time, I was still caught in the cycle of abuse I'd tried so hard to escape? What if I grew up to be my father or my aunt?

                I'd never had a goal or dream in my life. I wasn't striving for anything. I'd been so focused on surviving that I'd never given thought to the future. As long as I made it to the future, that had been good enough for me. But now there was a goal fixing itself firmly in my mind.

                I didn't want to be my father.

                I opened my eyes and watched as lightning screamed across the sky. I reached out and gripped Jack's arm tightly as my heart rate jumped at the sight.

                Jack stayed quiet, not looking at me. He watched the storm progress, letting me hold his arm for comfort. Letting me use him to ease the fear.

                My throat tightened a little, begging me to release Jack's arm. Once I knew what it was like to have help holding the weight of the world, would I be able to bear it on my own again?

                But I fought past that blind terror of uncertainty and held tight to Jack's arm. He absentmindedly rubbed his injured leg, keeping his arm held out towards me.

                So we sat there in the storm, bodies close together but thoughts uncomprehendingly far apart. I knew what I had to do if I wanted to even try to make things right with Jack again. Maybe I was learning to lean on someone and maybe I was just using Jack. Maybe someday I'd have a real chance with Jack and maybe he was smart enough to learn his lesson about me. Either way, it felt good not to hold the world on my shoulders as it fell around us.

                So this is what it feels like to be given a chance.

                Maybe learning to lean on someone like Jack wouldn't be such a bad thing.