"Ryan has a crush on a boy," I murmured in Nathan's ear. 

He was panting hard and sweat was running off him in droves. In fairness, I had been wearing him out lately. Though he didn't seem to mind one bit as he always got to lie on my chest and run his hands over it.

I might've been the one needing him right now. I needed to feel him and remind myself he was okay. I needed to please him, love him and just... I just needed him.

He tipped his head up and met my gaze. "I knew it."

"What? How?"

"Gut feeling. I just knew it. I've known since he was like 5 years old."

"Really?" I arched a brow at him.

"Yeah. I knew about you too the minute I saw you. He's just as obvious as you are."

"How are we obvious, wise one?"

"Gut feeling. You don't have it?"

"Are you asking if I have a gaydar?" I laughed. "I didn't even know for sure you were interested before you kissed me back."

Nathan laughed and spread his legs over my thighs, sitting up on top of me. "Really? I kept staring at you."

"So you finally admit it?"

He nodded and smiled, his eyes wandering down to my chest. "I was staring a lot." His hands slowly ran over my stomach and my owl started cooing. "I stare at you all the time, Che." He slowly blinked and looked up, meeting my gaze.

"But I'm an old man now. You can't still be that impressed."

"I'll be impressed until the day we die. When your hair is grey and your face full of wrinkles." He bent over, putting pressure on a very good spot and kissed me. I ran my hands up his thighs and lifted my head up, meeting his mouth with mine. "You're the love of my life."

"You know you're mine too," I murmured and caught his bottom lip between my teeth. Gently. He pressed my head back down on the pillow and kissed me harder. He moved his hips over me and I groaned. "You're ready again?" I chuckled.

"Yes," he murmured, no humour in his voice. He was done playing around and he wanted to do go again.

But I kind of wanted to dick around more. "How good is your gaydar then?"

He was kissing my throat and so not paying attention to me. His hips were still moving and I was kind of forgetting why I even wanted to joke around.

"I could tell you were interested from day one," he murmured against my skin. "You always looked at me. You always spoke to me in a way you didn't speak to others." He pulled up and smiled down at me. "And then you kissed me."

"I did kiss you. I wanted to from the first time I saw you."

"Because I'm that irresistible." His smile widened and his fangs slipped over his bottom lip. I loved it when he smiled like that.

"Yes," I breathed and hooked my arm around his body. I quickly got him under me and kissed him. "How about I just take care of you?" I moved down to kiss his throat.

"You're not up for another round?" His voice was barely louder than a whisper, his eyes closed.

"I'm exhausted."

He opened his eyes and took my face in his hands. "Let's cuddle then."

"But... I do want to take care of you." I actually did. There were very few things in this world that got my rocks going like taking care of my husband. In all aspects really.

"I'm not gonna say no then," he chuckled.

"Fantastic," I murmured and kissed my way down over his chest and further down.

"Hey, Uncle Nate? Uncle Che?" Ryan poked his head in through the door of the little TV room, Nathan and I had been occupying.

Nathan had been leaning against me, listening to his MP3, but he took the earbuds out and smiled at Ryan, motioning him to come inside. I turned off the TV and Ryan came inside, hesitantly.

"Did uhm... Did Uncle Che talk to you?" Ryan asked and looked to Nathan.

"He did." Nathan nodded a bit.

Ryan pulled his legs up under him and sighed. "So... I texted him. His name is Alejandro. He uhm... He agreed to go on a date."

I smiled. "Yeah?"

Ryan nodded. "What do two guys do on dates?"

"Drink coffee. Like the straights." Nathan shrugged a bit and glanced up at me. "I mean, we just go to dinner and stuff. Or to the cinema. Or the museum!" He smiled widely up at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. He was still excited about the museum in Santiago. He hadn't been to a whole lot of museums, so I could understand his excitement.

"Okay, but what do people who aren't a 100 years old do?" Ryan groaned.

"Just take him out for some burgers or something like that," I chuckled.

Ryan nodded a bit and frowned. "Can you not tell my parents about this? Just until I'm sure."

"Of course," Nathan said very softly and pulled Ryan in for a hug. "I'm proud of you."

"Why?" Ryan's voice was shivering and he pulled back, looking with wide eyes up at his uncle.

"Just am. Don't need a reason, do I?"

Ryan snorted and shook his head. "Okay, so burgers and stuff... Right. I'll take him to that diner in town when we eventually get back."

"Sounds good, bud." I saluted him and he rolled his eyes at me, leaving the TV room.

I pulled Nathan back against me, in between my legs, and kissed his throat. "You're so amazing with the kids," I murmured against his skin.

"I try," he breathed and ran his hand through my hair.

I took a deep breath. I wanted to ask this. I had to ask this. "Are you sure... You don't want one?"

"A what? A kid?" He looked back at me over his shoulder.

"Yeah." I ran my hands under his shirt and settled them on his stomach.

"Che, I'm..." His voice broke. "I'm a terrible person. I shouldn't have the responsibility of a child on me."

I sighed deeply and pulled him even closer, resting my forehead on his shoulder. "You're not a terrible person, Nathan."

"I... I still think it's okay to kill. I don't feel bad about killing your father. Or Daniel. Or a lot of other people. Che, I really shouldn't be a father to anyone." He took a very shaky breath. "I break down when a car backfires. I can't, Che." He slid out of my embrace very gently and turned around, taking my face in his hands. "I'm sorry, but... I can't."

"Don't apologise. I just wanted to know if you were sure. Or if you had changed your mind." I turned my head and kissed his palm. "You'd be an amazing father, though. Look at how you are with the kids. How gentle you are."

"But, they're not my responsibility in the same way, Che. Imagine if you died. Then who'd take care of me? Let's be realistic here. You already have your hands full with me. Imagine a baby too? And I'd never be able to take care of it on my own."

"I don't have my hands full with you," I said and frowned. "Nathan, I think you're making your problems way bigger to me than they actually are. Sure, they're not convenient. Your anxiety freaks me out. But my hands are not full with you." I pulled him into my lap. "I'm in love with you. I support you because I'm in love with you."

"That's not what I'm saying..." He sighed deeply and looked down. "I'm not right... In my head. I'm... Not right. And I know that. And you know that. So if you want kids, Che, it's... It's not going to be with me." He looked back up and met my gaze. His eyes were shiny. As sad as he looked, he also looked very serious. He was ready to let me go if I truly wanted kids.

I put my hand on his cheek and smiled a little. "Idiot. I want kids if you do. If you wanted to have our own little baby, then yes, I'd want it too. But if you don't want one, then neither do I. I'm very open on this issue, babe."

He closed his eyes and tears ran down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry for keeping that experience from you."

"Nathan," I murmured very softly and pulled him into my embrace. "You're not keeping me from anything. If I truly wanted kids so much, I wouldn't have married you. I knew you never wanted any and I still married you. So, my love." I whispered the last two words and ran my hand over his head. "All I want is you. Always."

A sob rocked through his body and his fingers dug into my t-shirt. I think he had been actually afraid I'd leave him this time. Which made him more of an idiot. I'd never leave him unless I died.

"I'm sorry," he said with a shivering voice.

"I've told you a million times, don't apologise for this. I don't mind when you show your emotions. I actually like it. It's much better than not doing it. Than hiding it all away."

"But you never cry like a bitch..."

"Well, I don't have a whole lot to cry about, babe." I tipped his head up and dried his tears away with my thumbs. "And crying doesn't make you weak. Me not crying makes me weak."

He put his palms to my cheeks and softly kissed me. "If you feel like crying, you can, you know."

"I know." I kissed him back, running my hand over his head again, hoping to make him purr. I wanted to hear that more than anything right now.

When he started purring, he chuckled against my lips. "You did that on purpose."

"Maybe I did."

He ran his hands under my shirt, over my stomach and my owl cooed. "You did that on purpose."

"Yeah," he breathed.

I. Fucking. Loved. Feeling Nathan's fingers run over my torso, first thing in the morning. He had probably been awake for a while, gotten bored with waiting and was now waking me up in the most gentle way. He was purring a storm and my owl was contently cooing back at his animal.

"You sleep too much," he murmured from behind me.

I snorted and tipped on my back, holding my arm out, inviting my hubby to lie on my chest. He put his head right under my shoulder, nuzzling his nose on my chest. He was so fucking cute.

I didn't answer but just closed my eyes again, really wanting more sleep. Not my fault my husband slept like 5 hours every night and was happy with that. I needed more than 5!

"I love you," he murmured.

He wasn't playing fair at all. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. His eyes were big and pretty.

"Come and kiss me," I murmured tiredly. He snorted and pulled up, placing his lips on top of mine. His purring intensified for a second, like a small wave and it made me inhale sharply.

"Che, can we stay up here in the mountains?"

"You and mountains," I chuckled.

"I wanna stay up here. With Nat and Birdie. And the kids. And your mum. I don't wanna leave."

I sighed very deeply. "You're going to be bored to death up here. And Javier is going to miss you too much."

Nathan sighed. "Can't you just let me dream a little?"

"Gotta keep some reality in that airy head of yours."

He laughed and pulled up again, placing both of his hands on either side of my head. "Let me live in a fantasy for a little bit."

I smiled up at him. "And in this fantasy of yours... Will I be there too?"

"You're in all of them," he murmured and lowered himself. He very softly kissed me, smiling.

"Thank you for including me."

He snorted and lifted back up again. "Like you think I wouldn't."

I laughed and grabbed him, getting him down on his back with me hovering over him. "You wouldn't dare to forget me. I'm too pretty."

"You are," he murmured very softly and ran his hands through my hair before pulling me down to kiss him again.