I hate insects. And before anyone starts telling me that 'hate' is a very strong word, I know that it is, and in fact, I think I need a stronger one. Now, the next time someone tells me that I shouldn't be scared of something that is "that much smaller than me", I'm going to unleash an army of attention-seeking spiders and PMSing mosquitos upon their surprised faces.

And now that we've got that empty threat out of the way, (because honestly I'm never getting within a foot of the spawn of Satan listed above), it's time for me to list off the reasons why I hate bugs.

Now, I'm sure we've all met that one bug who is 100% out to kill you. And I assure you, I'm not joking. Yeah - bumble bee in the fuzzy onesie swarming around my head like it's a freaking pot of honey and yeah seriously-disgusting spider with legs-longer-than-me intent on chasing me - I'm talking to y'all. Little insects with the resolve of assassins? Not really the big issue. The main problem with these insects that insist on upgrading you to number one on their "to scare the crap out of" list, is the psychotic reactions that these often result in. Hollering in public? Transforming into a swirling mess? Rapidly swiping at the 1mm, almost invisible, insect happily resting on your arm? Yep - been there. Done that. And probably convinced about 35 people that I belong in a mental institution while I was there. What can I say? I'm talented.

Don't even get me started on the mosquitos. Those suckers (pun intended) seem to take out their whacked day out on my defenceless, sleeping self Every. Single. Time. Seriously if you mosquitos want blood that much, drop by a local blood bank or keep Dracula on speed dial, but how many times do I have reinstate that my arm is NOT a straw? But of course the itching is the most painful part of this little affliction. The next day almost always results in me looking a whole lot like a tick-infested rabid animal scratching at just about every limb. And can I just take this opportunity to personally thank every pharmacist and pre-school teacher and parent who's been all like: "just stop scratching and it'll be fine." Seriously, I could slap you (in the nicest possible way) because deep down, you know it's impossible to stop scratching a freaking mosquito bite. It's like......scientifically proven. (Lol, please do not under any circumstance quote me on this...)

So, a big shout out to all the mosquitos. Next time I get a voodoo doll in the shape of a blood-sucking, dark, six-legged nuisance - I'll give you a call.

Yep, spiders are next. I mean, have you ever heard anyone say "spiders are the most adorable little creatures with their cute beady eyes and furry black pincers?" Yeah, me neither. I mean, sometimes I try to empathise with them and understand that almost every spider has been almost stepped on by a massive shoe or swept out of a room with a broom, but that empathy disappears as soon as I see their rapidly approaching little bodies, almost as quickly as my courage. Yep, I'm one of those people that gets so scared of spiders, that I'd rather not kill them. I know that that sounds like idiot logic, which it probably is, but unfortunately for me it happens all the time. I'll be casually typing on my computer and then out of the corner of my eye, I see this eight-legged abomination of nature. "Do you kill it?" You may ask. "Maybe get a shoe?" Well, nope. Because killing the spider means getting in proximity to the spider and that would mean opening myself up to all sorts of dangerous possibilities. So, I simply retreat to the furtherest corner of my room and hope that the spider stays within its designated half. Yep, I'm officially the world's biggest wimp.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.....google introduced me to the Mecoptera.

Hey guys!! Now that exams are over, I'm hoping to post a little more regularly. Hope you liked the latest rant! :) If you did enjoy, votes and comments are really appreciated. :D Thanks for reading! jpav1405 xx