How can the depths of fiery hell be instantly compacted into four double-sided A4 pages filled with chemical formulae? I think that's a question we're all going to have to ask our teachers....

Enter - the main reasons why I want to assassinate tests. Like all test papers everywhere. Wait, is that genocide of trees or something? I don't know, but all I'm saying is that I've got my knife ready..

Multiple choice. Those two words either have the ability to prompt the simultaneous cheering of hundreds of teenagers who forgot to study for that pop quiz or it can start the student crusades where a, b, c and d are probably going to be shredded to death by the rest of us who really want to check off 'all of the above.' I know this isn't just me, but I've looked at a multiple choice question and probably bet on my life that all of the options were correct way too many times. And then, of course, you get those really ridiculous multiple choice answers - you know the ones that answer 'what is an angle' with 'a type of rainbow bird found in South-East Arica' which kinda makes you regret that hour of hard-core revision you did last night..

Now, I've got this - let's call it - a habit in a test, where I will write down every word in the English dictionary just to make sure that I've mentioned something relevant to the actual answer. I mean, if you write down three paragraphs of random stuff, the teacher's got to find something they like, right? Come on - it's like an 'all you can read' buffet. But, this kinda-flawed strategy does come with its downsides. Surprised? Because when the question asks you to explain the role of the stomach and you start talking about the amount of independent neurotransmitters in the brain, then I'd start hoping that your teacher is marking the test really really late at night, caffein-deprived and kinda dozing off. Because, let's be honest, that's when neurotransmitters and the digestive system may start to seem like the same thing...

Copying. By general consensus, it's a very bad thing. By teenage consensus, it's probably a very common thing. Now, I'm not someone who cheats in tests - let's just throw that out there, but I am aware that sometimes things can look a little suspicious. I am that one person in an exam who will absent-mindedly stare at something while I try to recall exactly when and if we ever learnt about subtending angles in circles...and that something might accidentally be the person next to me. No, I am not looking at your paper and no, I'm not trying to copy the frustratingly long paragraph answer you wrote in response to question b), I literally just have a knack for zoning out with my gaze resting on all the wrong things. Seriously, I should probably invest in a pair of black shades right now and should consider supergluing my eyes to my test paper. Don't ask me how that's going to work, though....

The most frustrating thing, though? That's when you have to double the difficulty of what you learnt in class and then put it to the power of infinite what-does-this-even-mean just to end up with the level of question that gets placed in front of you in an exam. I mean, if I got taught about about metallic bonding in class and then get a test question that asks me about the scientific flaws in the geocentric model according to some scientist with a name that's probably 3 syllables to long.....well, there's a big chance that I'm going to come after that test with a massive automatic rifle. Just kidding. Well, maybe...

So, to every student who's mentally screaming at the test paper of seemingly identical multiple-choice questions in front of them right now - just go for C. C stands for Can-I-Please-Pass, right?

Hey guys!! Hope you liked this rant!  It's coming from someone who's sat about ten million tests in the past two weeks and has approximately two billion and three to go - so hopefully you can (or can't, actually)  relate :) Please don't forget to vote and comment. Thanks for reading xx