Okay, so whether we admit to it or not, we've all had one of those really awkward moments where you run into someone on a staircase. Now, let me start off with saying that stairs are bad enough - steep, narrow steps that require the continuous and excessive use of my non-existent leg muscles is already a recipe for absolute agony. But, that agony is magnified to the degree of infinite awkwardness when you combine simultaneously walking up stairs with smashing straight into another human being. Yep, I bet you can see where this is headed.

So, essentially you run into this other person, who at school almost always happens to be a student carrying a hell of a lot of school books. So, basically they have an armful of: Algebra for Amateurs, The Literary Shakespeare and obviously How to Create Awkward Staircase moments 101. One of a couple of things can happen here:

1. You run into someone who's about double your size, you lose your balance and may quite possibly fall forward... (And let's be honest - more often than not, this results in unintentional groping.)

2. You manage to re-enact the Big Bang, and so your collision with the other person results in an explosion of flying textbooks. I swear this one almost ALWAYS happens when there's another 2 million people climbing up the same staircase, with front row seats to the whole display.

3. You exchange a kind of awkward glance with the other person and attempt to just move on past. But, it turns out they have the same idea and whilst you end up swerving to your left, they end up swerving to their right and voila - collision number two ladies and gentleman. Sometimes it takes three of four of these extremely awkward left-right moves, before someone has the common sense to step to the side and wait for the other person to pass. (This is a good time to point out that 90% of the time, I am not that person with the common sense.)

So, what's the moral of the story, you may ask? Just take the elevator. Or teleport. You know - whatever works.