A 40-something degree day? Wanting to try out that new bikini? In desperate need of a skin tone other than milk-white? Well then, the beach sounds like a great idea.... right?

Welcome to the types of people on the beach that may or may not become victims of a very one-sided sand-ball fight....

Now, there's always that one person on the beach who thinks that the next two hours of their beach life is going to be absolutely sand and splash-free. Before I continue, can I just re-iterate that a beach is known for two main things: the sand and the water. If you don't like either of these things, then I would personally suggest the spa-side of a luxury 5-star resort where no dogs, young children or clutsy people carrying a triple-scooped ice-cream are going to ruin your chances of a perfect tanning session. These easily irritable people tend to stick out like a sort thumb amongst the sea of cheery people at your local beach. While 99% of the crowd are most likely going to be smiling and cooing over those adorable 3 year old kids splashing about in the waves, these people could be easily mistaken for the Hulk after a really crappy day. If looks could kill, I would feel pretty bad for the splashing kid with the dinosaur floaties....Because dying 435 times in 10 minutes probably isn't too much fun.

Going to the beach prepared is important, don't get me wrong. Towel, bathers, sunnies - they're all on the beach checklist for a day of swimming, chilling and fun. But, there's always that one family or individual that packs, let's say, a little more than necessary... I mean, when you're lugging a car-full of inflatables, your entire house worth of belongings and half of the supermarket to the beach, I'm going to start questioning where the portable toilet is? Because, you've practically built yourself a mobile house. These people also get me sweating about personal space. Because, let's be honest, there's going to be me trapped like a claustrophobic sardine between your metric acre of extremely pointless stuff and a young couple sharing a beach towel who have serious RHTS. (That's roaming hands and tongue syndrome, by the way). #awkwardsituations101

People whose life goal is to ruin the dreams of little children. Shame. On. You. Yep, these are the people who more often than not, are immature 12 year old boys who just love to make a stepping stone out of the not-so-beautiful but adorable work of some 5 year old kid. Like, why? Fast-forward to a poor, crying red-faced toddler angrily pointing at the Pompeii that some idiot has made out of his sandcastle.

Another beach-type-thing that I feel the incessant need to rant about: balls on the beach. I've had it with flying balls on the beach. I've had it with the 'heads up!' that's frantically screamed three seconds after I've been concussed and I've definitely had it with the people who somehow think a beach full of relaxing, sun-bathing people is the perfect forum for a professional soccer match. I know that I'm, (how do I put this in the least demeaning way possible?) a little more accident prone than most, but why am I always the target of straying beach-balls, overly pumped soccer balls and those absolutely horrific sand-balls that erupt into a sand volcano as soon as they make contact with my skin?

The next time you take a trip to the beach, keep and eye out for all of the above rays of sunshine. But, just remember, there are no signs on the beach that say you can't feed the sharks...

Sorry guys for the ridiculously long time that it took for me to post another rant. #procrastination and way too much home-work. Hope you enjoyed and please don't forget to vote and comment! x