Let me start off with saying that there is nothing wrong with makeup. Let's just throw a whole lot of misconceptions out of the window. You can be a feminist that wears makeup, you can be a guy and wear makeup - hell, you can be a juggling giraffe with 32 pet goldfish and still wear makeup. As cheesy as it sounds, all that matters, is that you can love who you are without it.

In saying that, makeup isn't a breeze... Sometimes, you come out looking a little like Kim Kardashian and other times you wonder whether a packet of Crayola attacked your face. (Personally, this ratio is about 1:100)

Like everything, makeup starts with the foundation. Literal foundation. I've been told that the golden rule of foundation is to make the skin look as flawless and as natural as possible. Now, I can't speak for everyone else, but every time I brush on some liquid foundation, I either turn into Caspar the friendly ghost or magically transport myself to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. *Enter Oompa Loompa.*

And then there's the liquid eyeliner. Of course, the trend at the moment is 'winged eyeliner' and 'cat eye' which involves three people's worth of patience, a really steady hand and a metric ton of makeup remover (for the first 9 attempts that hint not-so-subtly at a black eye). The big problem with creating those perfect little wings is the fact that you have to do it twice. That's right, symmetry. How do those of us who suck at symmetry in geometry have any chance of creating it on our own face? So after 15 minutes of trying to literally draw a black line 2 or so centimetres long, I manage to simultaneously look like a gang member, the grim reaper and death warmed up. Not exactly the look I was going for...