Maths. Now, unless you're Einstein, Pythagoras, or Isaac Newton's clone - I don't think I could ever understand why you would love maths. Now, don't get me wrong, I rant bearing a white flag and am definitely not out for the blood of my local school's maths department, but sometimes maths and all of it's unsolved problems just really don't add up....(pun intended). Maths class is the main cause of my horrific assassination of the variable 'x' and is the stage on which I sing a list of "How do I evens" - on loop.

The first little bone I have to pick with my not-so-best-friend mathematics, is something starting with 'u' and ending with 'sefulness.' Yep, that spells usefulness. Now, I get it. I definitely understand the significance of some aspects of maths in everyday life. Algebra. Check. Counting. Check. Knowing what 1 plus 1 is. Check. (Well, I'm still working on that one). But, long-hand division with more digits than Beyonce's bank account? Negative fractional indices? And seriously, don't get me started on geometric proofs. Because, honestly, the next time a maths teacher tells me that polynomials are a fundamental part of paying for a chocolate bar, I'm going to be seriously tempted to not-so-gently-or-athleticly throw at them the $150 Classpad calculator that majorly contributed to my booklist expenses this year.

Speaking of which, maths class is really expensive. Just when you think that a lesson full of algorithms and geometry can't become anymore torturous, the devil of evil-mathematical-logic decides to take out all of its frustration in never being able to find its 'x' on your wallet. Well, if we're honest, our parents'. I'm sure back in Einstein's day, all someone would need to bring to a maths class is a pencil and something to write on. (I'm not sure if erasers were a thing back then). But nowadays - you've got to bring along your calculator (scientific and one that's way too complex for words), a ruler, a pencil, (and probably a couple of spares that aren't chewed to the tip), a sharpener, a protractor and sometimes even a compass. I know what you're thinking - now maths is hurting my chances at saving up for a car almost as much as it's hurting my brain. Trust me, I'm with you on that.

Maths and english. Yin and Yang. They're like the Justin Bieber vs Susan Boyle of every high school, right? So, I'm in favour of it being technically illegal to blend the two together in a confusing swirl of frustratingly complex questions requiring an Oxford dictionary and possibly an encyclopaedia to solve. I have no idea why an algebra exam question suddenly needs to become an analytical essay within itself that takes about half of your test time just to read and decipher. A page of mathematical terms to define at the beginning of a test? I can't even begin to express my bottomless ignorance and inadequacy when it comes to wording maths-related stuff. Ask me to explain what a 'deductive proof' is and give me an intimidating six lines of space to write an answer? Well, let's put it this way - I'm more likely to declare my non-existent love for Donald Trump off a Paris balcony in the middle of winter, stark naked.

Now if you ask me, what an ideal high school maths lesson should be? I'd say we should all go back to the fun pre-school lessons where you get taught what one cookie plus another cookie equals - and then get to eat all four cookies of course. But, until then: maths, I think that it's time you started to solve your own problems. I've got my own.