(Old unpublished chapter that I didn't post bc it was just banter but oH weLl here's your crack head energy for today sir)

[BUCKY // Getting drunk for the first time]

Steve:
Ray, why aren't you back from the exhibition yet? You said you'd be back at 12?

You:
Jeez dad why don't you just ground me then

Steve:
Ray, where the heck are you?

You:
I

think someon3 put something in my dronk

You:
Like they were tastier mmh

Sam:
Tasty? Really?

You:
That's funny because i only remember drinking out of Peter's juice box today??

You:
Weird

Tinny is online

You:
Oh look there he is HIIII tON

Tinny:
evERYBODu CALM DOWN SHE'S WID ME

Clint:
Oh yeah that's very convincing!!!

Nat:
a said billionaire and a genius, couldn't set an appropriate autocorrect system

Tinny:
ffffhhmHf

Steve:
I'm going to kill Tony.

You:
Nononono shhh it's not his fault

You:
Tinny didn't know I've never been drunk before no big deal

Clint:
YOU'VE never been drunk before

Clint:
That's a shocker

Nat:
shut up Clint

You:
NOnonon I have been wAIt but like once or twice in University before

You:
WHEN I WAS OLD ENOUGHG

You:
do nOt drink kids

You:
I'm a very responsible drinker u kno

Sam:
Seems like it

You:
hmPh doNt see you complainin when u need  a ride home from the designated driver!!!!

Peter is online

Wanda is online

Peter:
HELLO EVERYBODY

Peter:
ANYONE KNOW WHERE RAY WENT?

Steve:
Hello Peter. Do you mind telling me where you last spotted Ray?

Peter:
Oh hello Mr. Steve -

Peter:
Well uh she was with me, we were looking at these art pieces

Peter:
Then she said she was going to check out the snack table

Peter:
And then

Peter:
Well then she never came back

Clint:
why did you take Ray and Tony

Clint:
you've seen how they are around each other, right?

Peter:
Well yes but

Peter:
But Aunt May isn't around

Peter:
And I thought Ray likes Art and she could come with me

Peter:
And she also knows Michelle and it's Michelle's exhibition and that's great!

Steve:
Peter.

Peter:
Oh and then Mr. Stark was all like, "No, she's not fit to babysit you all at once" and all that

Peter:
And then he said he would drive Ray and me there

Nat:
you're straying off the point just a little bit

Peter:
Oh yes sorry I guess what I really meant to say was yes, I saw her at the snack table last

Steve:
Thank you.

Steve is offline

You:
OH hELLO PETRE

You:
HOW ARE YOU MY TINY SON

You:
Shit wait I lost u didn't I

You:
Shit they said I shouldn't swear aroundf you

You:
shIT

Steve:
Please keep her awake and texting or something, I don't want her to die from a concussion or anything of the sort.

Nat:
I don't think that's how it works Steve

Bruce:
Yeah that's pretty much how it works.

You:
Where is the man that i am seek

Bucky:
I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU PRICK.

You:
Yo Bucky remember when I said thst I forget you're a James sometimes

You:
i forgot again hahaha

You:
I just wanna let you know that if I doe tonight

You:
**die

You:
I love u Bucky

Nat:
WOAH there ma'am

Sam:
ewwwwwwwww

Clint:
GROSSSSS

Sam:
make it goooooo

Steve:
What is this nonsense?

Tony:
OMGDHD THAT'S SO COOL DNJEJEJENENENENSNDB WHAT

Wanda:
You realise it is not that exciting because there's only like 2 people that don't know about this right ??

Nat:
Wait how did you find out

Wanda:
Pietro. How did you find out

Clint:
We turned on ghost mode in a chat they thought only had them in it. how did Pietro find out?

You:
You know

You:
Do you take this man, buCKY BARNes" doesn't sound classy at all

You:
Eeeewwwww tAcky

You:
WHEREAS

You:
mR JAMES bUCHANAN bARNEZ

You:
Is regal as fuuuck

Bucky:
Hm good point

Sam:
Your girl just outed you and that's your reaction

Steve is online

You:
U kno

You:
Like, Bucky is like this enormous scruffy dude that works part time at a construction site and has a pet bulldoggy but also sips a beer at 1 in the morning and reads this second hanD copy of Pride aNd Prejudice while balancing it on his pot belli

You:
And then James is this guy

You:
That drew the fUcking Sword oF king Arthur or some shit

You:
And he drinks STRICTLY HERMAn tea EVERY TIME the clock strikes 12:01 and won't have it amy other way

You:
*"HERBAL

You:
Also he's fuckiNg rippEDDDD

You:
yumMY

Sam:
what the shit

You:
James is like always ordering around his poor demon Butler Sebastian around and saying, "Sebadtian,,, why didn't you bring me my herbal tea at 12:01, it is now 12:02.22 seconds"
You know what I mean?

Bucky:
Ray were you watching Black Butler?

Steve:
That's what you're concerned about, Buck?

You:
don't be a lil demon BUCK of course not

Vision:
True love is capitalising his name even when you are blind drunk.

Steve:
You shouldn't be concerned about BLACK BUTLER, Bucky.

Buck:

Hey, hey. She gets bad dreams after watchin it

You:
That's a lie he tells everyone because he's actually scared of it and thinks that show is a cult message to the world and should be banned

You:
Or he just doesn't like the fact that i think Sebastian is sexyyy

Bucky:
IT'S A CARTOON CHARACTER, THAT'S UNNATURAL

You:
Jeex how homophobic

You:
Also **animÉ

You:
Ur just jealous

Steve:
Okay kids, time for bed.

Clint:
O.O

Bucky:
What

You:
Oh my goS STEVE IS RUNNING TOWARDS ME I DON'T WANNA GO HOME

You have been disconnected

Steve:
:)