PENNY

 My fingers hover near my mouth, and I'm itching to bite my nails, but I stop myself. I need to look composed today. I'm drawn from my fingertips to Julia's reflection. Each sharp jab of a hairpin jars me, this way and that, as my best friend Julia constructs a masterpiece with my dark brown shoulder-length waves. It's her gift to me – to us – on our big day.  The money we'd saved in stylists went straight to my perfect gown. Fitted white lace moulds against my chest, running down to my wrists and to my waist, where the skirt flares out like a poofy marshmallow. She places a crystal-studded tiara as the finishing touch.  It's impossible not to feel like a princess today.  "How's that?" she asks, glancing at my reflection. She seems quite proud of her handiwork, and she should. It's better than anything I could have imagined.

"It looks amazing, Jules. Thank you."

"Do you have everything, then?" she replies matter-of-factly.

I nod. "I've got my something old and borrowed," I say pointing at my grandmother's pearl earrings, borrowed from my mum, "and my something new," showing a silver bangle dangling on my wrist.

"And your something blue?"

A sly smirk creeps up the side of my face. "I don't think you want to see that one."

"Oh, my goodness. You didn't?"

Raising a brow, I confirm. "Indeed, I did."

"I hope Kyle knows what he's in for."

Swift rapping on the door interrupts us. Chase leans through the doorway and I glimpse his best man suit, the one his brother forced him to buy. It clashes with the rest of his scruffy appearance, especially with that God-awful beard. Although it looks like he's trimmed the sides, at least.

If Chase's appearance has improved this much, how much better must Kyle look today? He spent a small fortune on his suit; I know that much. But of course he did. Everything he wears has a designer name or logo attached. It's something we don't see eye to eye on. And I'd bet my last dollar his shoes will also match. Italian leather, most likely. As for his golden blond hair – that'll be just as it always is, honed to perfection to frame his chiselled, clean-shaven face.

Despite our differences, I love Kyle with all my heart. I'm elated to take this first step, and leap into the future he's mapped out for us. But it hasn't always been that way.

I would have been fine with said 'I do' at city hall; just us and our two closest people, Julia and Chase. But he wanted the big, fancy celebration, and I just wanted to make him happy. Although my nerves keep twitching thinking of all those people, staring at us standing before the pastor and the church's enormous stained glassed window, committing ourselves for evermore. 

Perhaps there's still time to grab an Uber and head there now? And after, we can leave straight for our carefully curated month-long honeymoon around Europe.

But Kyle will never go for that. Our five-year plan starts today, with the wedding and our trip. Then, when we return, we'll find the perfect family home and settle into happily married life. We'll start a family in a year or two; two kids - a boy and a girl, hopefully in that order.

Chase glances toward me, his lips drawn in a tight, straight line. His face flushes as he balls his hands into fists, then releases them, and runs a hand through his hair, before averting his gaze back to Julia.

In the ten years I've known Chase, he's always been quite passive and kind. This isn't like him at all, especially towards me.

"Julia, can I have a quick word?" he says with furrowed brows. Even his voice is out of character. It's as rigid and tense as an army sergeant. Whatever is up with him, it sounds serious.

Julia looks from Chase to me. "I'll be right back, hun. Fix your lipstick." Chase nods towards the door, urging her out of the room.

Swivelling on the seat, I return to the mirror, lipstick in hand. I lacquer on another layer of crimson before smooching my lips together. Sliding the tissue between them, I blot the overflow just as the door cracks open and Julia returns alone.

She stands there staring at my reflection for a long moment while I watch hers. The silence breaks as she sucks in a deep breath and takes a small, slow step towards me. She grabs hold of a chair and drags it with her, without taking her eyes off me. She parks the chair beside me and turns to face me instead of my reflection.

I've only ever seen her this quiet once before, when she'd found my ginger cat, Cheeto, on the side of the road. I was eighteen at the time, so when he escaped I called her panicking. Somehow, she pieced together what happened, through my heaving sobs, offering to search for him. Soon after the search began, she called, asking me to meet her back at the house. I waited by the front door until she parked, then stood, eager to see Cheeto again. But she wasn't happy. Even from that distance, I could see her disappointment. Her shoulders slumped as she walked toward me, empty-handed. Then she told me, in a low, gentle voice, that Cheeto was gone, hit by a car. I was devastated. Cheeto was my everything. She held me, rubbing my back until the heavy sobs quieted.

My rising pulse rockets through my body, and my heartbeat is heavy, as if it might explode. What awful news is she bringing me this time? Has something happened to Kyle? To my parents? My anxious mind reels through a variety of increasingly gruesome and horrific scenarios.

Julia reaches for my hand, holding it between both of hers. Her eyes are wet as she opens her mouth to speak. Her voice is gentle, and she rubs the back of my hand.

"Penny... Pen," she sighed. "I'm so sorry..." She looks at the ceiling and sucks in another huge breath.

Whatever this is, it's big.

"Just spit it out, Jules. My nerves can't take much more of this."

She returns her gaze to me. "Pen," she says through welling tears, "It's Kyle."

In the three seconds that follow my fiancé's name, my mind catapults to all the possibilities of what might be happening. A roller coaster of suggestions flashes one after the other. All ending with Kyle laid out on a stretcher. My stomach sinks, and my throat catches.

She squeezes my hand and whispers. "He's not coming."

"What do you mean 'he's not coming'?" My voice cracks. "What did Chase tell you?"

Julia's face contorts into a cringe. "Kyle messaged him a few minutes ago. He said that he can't go through with it." She pauses, then continues, "He said he wasn't certain that you're..." her lips draw into a sharp line, "the one."

Heat floods my face and my stomach twists into knots as the words sink in. My knuckles turn white as I grip the edge of the vanity. She places a steady hand on my shoulder, but I shrug her away.

"That asshole," I spit. "I never even wanted to get hitched in the first place, and now he does this?"

My leg taps uncontrollably, like it always does when my nerves are on edge. I stand and begin pacing around the room. Julia watches me for a long few minutes. What am I supposed to do now?

With each step, the grip on my heart tightens. This pain is unfamiliar, and it's terrifying. How can he do this to me? To us? Tears prickle at the corners of my eyes as the pain spreads through my body. Where is he? Maybe there's still time to talk to him. But what would I even say? Then I recall our plans, our future – each one disappearing from mind until nothing but a blank space remains. My pulse races faster, and the lace scratches against my skin.

He didn't even have the nerve to tell me to my face.

Not only have I lost the love of my life, my soulmate, but on top of that, everyone in town will talk about this. I won't be able to show my face in public. I clutch my chest, gasping as my anxiety rises. My lungs close in on me.

"I need to get out of here," I gasp, searching for an urgent escape.

"Just breathe, Pen," she says. Her arms are wide but still at a safe distance. In case I lose the plot, I suppose. If I accept her embrace, that'll surely be the end of me. But I could really use that hug. Julia decides I need the hug more than I need to stay composed. She closes the gap, and within moments, the floodgates open. Her warm arms wrap around me and she rubs the bare space on my back where the lace doesn't cover. My raging pulse gradually quiets, matching Julia's, and I breathe easier.

Finally, I break away.

"What would you like me to do?" she asks. "I'll have to say something to the people out there." There's another knock on the door, interrupting our conversation. It opens just a crack. Julia takes one look at me before rushing over, stopping the door before it opens wider. Whispered conversation barely reaches me, and I can't make out what's being said.

"Pen," a male voice says louder, as if my name were a question.

My curious glare at Julia goes unanswered. She just shakes her head.

"I just wanted to see how you're holding up," he explains.

"Really? Your brother just left me at the altar. How do you think I'm holding up?" His face falls, eyes shifting to the floor. "Sorry for the intrusion," he says. Turning, he shuffles out of the room.

Julia closes the door behind him. "Sorry Pen. I told him to go, that you need some space, but he seemed really concerned about you."

"It's fine. It's not your fault. And it's not his fault his brother is an ass," I say furrowing my brows together.

She shakes her head. "Do you want me to go out there and let them know the wedding is off?"

I sigh. "I suppose someone has to say something." Once the news breaks, I won't be able to show my face in public. I can see it now, all the elderly ladies gossiping at Bingo on Tuesdays, about the poor spinster left at the altar at the ripe old age of thirty-one. All the hushed 'Poor dear's' whenever they spot me at the hairdresser, or supermarket, and incessantly whispering amongst themselves at the bus stop as I walk down main street. There's no way I'm subjecting myself to that. I'd rather hide in a basement for the next three months until someone else does something gossip worthy to divert their attention from me.

Her lip curls. "We could say he joined a monastery, or aliens abducted him."

I raise my eyebrows at the suggestion. She's joking, of course. "Perhaps he's following his childhood dream of becoming a pirate or bought a pet monkey and joined the circus." Julia laughs along with me, but then we both fall silent.

"Maybe we should just say the wedding isn't moving forward and apologise for the inconvenience."

"That's not as fun, but you're probably right. I suppose I'd better get this over with," she says. "I won't be long."

The minutes seem to drag on for hours, but the clock says Julia's only gone for ten minutes. She refuses to tell me anything more than what we'd discussed. I know she's trying to protect me, but I'm curious.

"Pen, let's just figure out what's next," she says, brushing me off. "Would you like to stay at my place? I don't think you should be alone right now."

"Maybe I should just get out of town for a bit until the dust settles. It's not like I can go anywhere local, now that I'll be the juicy gossip. And I still have four weeks' holiday."

Our town is not exactly tiny, but it's small enough that everyone knows everyone else, or they know someone who does. I suppose that's the case in most urban towns. Since we are equidistant from the coast, mountains, and city, I have numerous options to escape to, but I'm not keen on the beach at this time of year.

"Well, my family still has that cabin. The one we used to go to as kids. I can ask my parents for the key."

It's been years since Julia and I have been up there, but we used to spend most holidays there. In the summer, we'd spend days in our bathers, swimming, and playing in the woods, and in the cooler months, like now, we'd huddle around the fire listening to her dad tell ghost stories, or playing board games, or making a fort in the bedroom.

"Actually, that sounds perfect. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"Not at all."